I grabbed the phone. I couldn’t hold Owen’s feelings for Keys against her. It wasn’t her fault men naturally fell for her. Hell, I even understood it. She was beautiful and sweet and talented. I liked her far too much to let my envy eat a hole in our growing friendship.
Besides, I’d been envious before. Toward Ava for one thing. Somehow I’d kept it from affecting our relationship, so I would manage the same with Keys. Even if it was extremely hard right now.
I’d just eat the hard for breakfast. Err, dinner, since it was late afternoon.
Sex-a-thons were hell on a schedule.
I waited until I’d cleared the cliff roads and there was a safe place for me to pull over to reply to her text.
CT: Actually, let’s not wait until next week. I’m going to grab a hotel room near the bus and we can do it this evening. Maybe in an hour or so? I’ll text you where I’ve landed.
Assuming I could get a hotel room on such short notice. I just knew I couldn’t go back to those narrow quarters where I’d be surrounded by too many bodies and too many emotions. And Owen. He’d be in Monterey for the weekend if he kept to our plans, but I couldn’t chance he’d come back early. Not that it really mattered. He left an imprint of himself everywhere he went.
KF: Don’t worry about grabbing a room. You can crash with us at the Wyndham. We ended up with a suite and there’s a sofa bed, if you don’t mind those.
I let out a silent scream. She was so sweet, offering to give up her privacy so I wouldn’t have to search for a room on short notice. And she didn’t even ask me any questions. Owen and I hadn’t formally announced our arrangement, but it was pretty obvious to anyone who was paying attention.
Then again, Hammered was made up mostly of men. To say they observed anything was taking a very large leap. I could probably mount Owen on the couch on the bus and one of them would just stuff chips in his mouth and mosey on by.
God, how could I bunk down with Keys of all people?
Swiftly, I replied and thanked her for her generosity. I typed yes before I could back out. I didn’t want to do the hotel room search thing. Definitely didn’t want to hole up alone. For so long, that had been my MO, but this band was becoming my family. Just because I was worried about what had transpired with the photo and how it would affect my role in the band—or even if it would, since Owen had been certain I was overreacting—as well as Owen’s little love revelations regarding Keys, I didn’t want to go back to my old ways. I’d come too far to regress.
She responded with a bunch of smiley faces and her room number, along with the info that she’d leave a spare key for me at the desk. Quinn was out guarding the world, so if I wasn’t too tired, perhaps we could do the shoot while he was gone.
Sure. Why not? I only had a dented heart and mangled pride and a million other damaged organs for probably silly reasons. I’d also had more than my daily allotment of orgasms, as per usual with Owen, so I was swinging back and forth between too keyed up and wanting nothing more than to sleep until summer.
Maybe then I’d forget my over the top reaction to something so small.
He’d just been happy, for Pete’s sake. As I’d been happy. We’d been sex-drunk and maybe even more drunk that that, if blossoming feelings counted for anything. Impulsive stuff happened. It didn’t have to be the end of the world.
Although a lot of that depended on Lila—and Donovan.
The good thing was I had my equipment with me in the bags I’d fled Owen’s with. Not everything, of course, but I’d taken a few of the essentials because we were spending the weekend in Monterey. The setting was exquisite. But instead of drowning my senses and taking all the pictures I’d wanted, I’d drowned my senses with Owen and run away.
Again.
It was a bad habit of mine, fleeing when stuff got tough. It wasn’t fair to Owen, and it definitely wasn’t fair to me. Now that I was nearly to Keys’ hotel, I was starting to wish I’d just stuck around.
Especially since the first text from Owen had just come through and I really wanted to answer it. More than anything, I wanted to turn the car around and go back to him. To us.
But it wasn’t just our relationship on the line. So was my job. If anyone in the band somehow hadn’t realized we had a thing going on, that picture today would tell a different story. They weren’t the problem. Lila monitored those accounts. She watched every damn thing.
All around, it was probably better that we took a breather. The whole situation was moving way too fast for me, and maybe for Owen too. What had started as temporary forking had turned into some stupid wishful part of me wanting permanent sporking. That wasn’t going to happen. He couldn’t be looking for that too, could he? Not for real, babies and feelings comments aside.
He was a romantic. He said all kinds of things.
Just keep telling yourself that, bunny.
Even if everything he did indicated he might be interested in more, I couldn’t let myself believe in fairytales again. I was firmly rooted in this world. It was the only way I could be sure I wouldn’t be left as roadside wreckage again.
A little while later, I arrived at Keys hotel. It was a swanky place, as was expected, but not so snooty that I felt out of place in my capris and tied off shirt. That I didn’t immediately pull it down to hide my midriff showed Owen’s positive influence on me. Difficult to think you should hide your body when you had an insanely hot rockstar telling you that you were a goddess on a daily basis.
I went up to Keys’ room and she let me in with a grin. “Hey girl. Good to see you. So glad you’re going to hang here with us.”
I had to laugh. “I’m sure. Who wouldn’t want their romantic night interrupted by a friend crashing the party?”
“Romantic night? C’mon now. When Quinn gets back, he’ll be ready to sleep not screw. Besides, we do that all the time. We can skip an evening or two. Makes the reunion sex that much better.” She winked and dragged me into the suite, nudging the door closed behind me. Good thing because my bags had me pretty weighed down, since I’d waved off help from the hotel staff.
“If you say so. Though I have to say, I’m a recent convert to this sex all the time thing and I’m not too thrilled at skipping even one day—” At Keys’ knowing smile, I bit my tongue. Literally. I nearly sawed it in half.
Moron.
“It’s okay,” Keys said, patting my arm. Guess my face was as red as I’d suspected. “It’s just us girls. Nothing wrong with talking about boys.” She held up a finger to her lips. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“Thank you.” I blew out a breath and set down my bags. I’d worry about where to stow them after the brushfire that had bloomed under my skin calmed down.
“Gotta say you have excellent taste. He’s as good as they come.”
I ran a finger along my throat. I’d started to sweat in spite of the AC. Awesome. “Just, ah, to clarify, you mean as a person, right? Not sexually or ah, anything.”
Owen would have told me if they’d been lovers. He’d been clear they hadn’t been, and I believed him, but the insecure part of me kept taking over my mouth.
I held up a hand as she sputtered out a laugh. “Me and Owen? God no. Absolutely not. He’s my best friend, other than Quinn. That makes him the second best thing to a brother. I don’t even like to think about him having sex.” She shuddered. “It’s just not our deal.”
All at once, I felt bad for Owen. More than that, I was outraged on his behalf that he’d had a thing for a woman who’d been blind to all his amazing qualities. I was sure Keys saw some of them or they wouldn’t have been so close, but no one could know him as well as I’d come to know him and not love him. It just wasn’t physically possible.
“He’s incredible in every way. The best man I’ve ever known by far,” I said quietly. “I understand you never saw him that way, and I’m grateful for that because I wouldn’t have him if you had.”
“What?” She laughed uncertainly but I didn’t regret my slip of the
tongue.
“Just saying that you’re gorgeous and so talented. I bet you could have had any man you wanted. I’m just glad you didn’t want him, because I would’ve missed out on the most amazing experience of my life. Knowing him.” I gripped my throat and fought off the wash of tears behind my eyes. “Being with him.”
She reached out and took my hand. “So it’s like that, huh?”
“Yeah.” I sniffled and couldn’t even begrudge myself much for the tears. Once I’d unlocked the floodgates, years of denied emotion were bound to come pouring out. “I guess it is. For me anyway. Despite all his flowery words, Owen can be a hard nut to crack.” At her grin, I backtracked. “I mean—”
“I know what you mean. Let me give you a tip. He’s really about as hard as a marshmallow. All that boy wants is to find someone to love. He’s just been searching in all the wrong places.” She squeezed my hand. “I’m glad he finally bought a clue.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that. We just had a pretty big fight.” About you. Although Keys hadn’t been the crux of it, just a surface hit. The photo had set us off, but underneath everything had been the undercurrent of fear. At least on my end, and maybe on his too.
We felt so tenuous. This was all so new. So new. People couldn’t fall this fast and have it stick. Could they? Obviously, we hadn’t come too far or learned too much if it was so easy for us to have a blowout then retreat to our separate corners.
“Fighting is natural. It only means you have strong emotions. Makeup sex is the best, by the way.”
I tried to smile. “This was big. He put a picture of us up on the band Instagram.”
“So? Wyatt did the same when you guys had your day out together.”
“That was different. This was…more personal.”
I just wasn’t going to think about that picture. Or any of the pictures. Or, oh cripes, the video.
I was torn between never wanting to watch it again and needing to watch it again right now.
“Oh. Ohh. Well, hmm. Seems like Owen. He’s a bit impetuous. But what’s the problem? Afraid you’ll get hate mail?” Keys rolled her eyes. “Some of our loudest fans aren’t always the kindest when one of the band members hooks up with someone. God forbid they get married.”
“That’s not a consideration,” I said quickly.
I wasn’t getting married again. Six months ago, I’d been certain of that down to my bones. Now all of my convictions were starting to waver. Probably because I’d begun to realize it wasn’t the institution that was the problem, but the person you chose to marry.
“No, it’s my job. I’m not supposed to fraternize. It sets up an awkward—what?” I asked as Keys bent over laughing.
“Oh my God, you can’t be serious. Do you know you’re talking to? I married my bodyguard. That was definitely a conflict of interest, don’t you think? And you’re worried about getting too friendly with Owen causing issues? What might you do if you like him a little more than, say, Zach? Take too many pictures of Owen in his guyliner?” Keys shook her head. “Girl, I get being nervous about being in a new relationship. Feelings are pinging all over the place, not to mention hormones. But don’t put extra strain on things that doesn’t need to be there.”
“I signed a contract,” I said stiffly.
“A contract that said you couldn’t fuck a member of the band? If that’s actually a clause for a photographer, I gotta see it.”
I swallowed hard. Guess Keys was okay with saying the word fuck. I was getting better with it too, just not quite that good yet. “It’s frowned upon. It’s not professional.”
“Yeah, well, life is messy. We all try to do the right thing, and sometimes we don’t manage it. And sometimes we break one rule that leads us to the most perfect thing we ever imagined.” Keys jerked a shoulder. “Want my advice? Skip dinner, eat dessert first. Apologize if you need to, but don’t ever let worry about consequences keep you from going on the ride of your life. Some tickets aren’t around to get punched twice.”
I nodded. “You’re right. Speaking of apologies,” I took a deep breath, “any ideas for how I could apologize for jumping off the handle at one impulsive Irishman?”
He’d still been wrong to upload that photo, but it had been innocent. He hadn’t wanted to get me in trouble—if it even happened. All he had wanted to do was share his joy. Our joy.
Joy I’d stomped on unintentionally.
I’d had so little of it in my life in recent years, I might as well have been a kid juggling a priceless crystal. I didn’t know how to handle the gift I’d been given, and in my inexperience, I kept creating cracks. At some point, I’d probably cause one that couldn’t be repaired.
Still, I couldn’t run back and talk to him just yet. Not before I womaned up and spoke to Lila about that photo. I wasn’t going to be a coward and wait for the hammer—ha—to come down. For once, I’d meet it head on.
And hey, I still made a mean omelet. If this job didn’t work out, I’d find a job somewhere, and I’d keep moving toward my dream if this version of it imploded. I’d be a better person for having had the courage to reach for the stars.
Also, I could always sell my sex tape and make millions. A girl always had options.
God, I couldn’t even joke about that in my own head.
“You know the best way to apologize to a guy,” Keys said. “Don’t play coy with me. It helps if you can feed them first, but yeah, flash some T and A, and they won’t care if you burned the casserole. Oh, and Owen likes sweets. Buy him some mousse and paint it on your breasts. Boom, forgiven.”
A laugh sneaked out of me as I bent to start unpacking my equipment. “What kind of mousse? Irish cream?”
“God, no. He’d skin you alive for buying him something that twee. Dark chocolate.” Keys gave me a thumbs up sign. “Mousse and nipples. Problems solved.”
“I wish it was that easy.” But at least I managed to smile.
“Pretend it is. Fake it until you make it. Along the way, you just might find a lot of your roadblocks don’t exist anywhere but in your mind.” Keys moved to the antique armoire near the bed and started sorting through clothes. “So what should I wear? I have a crotchless teddy I just bought on Rodeo, but I don’t want to skeeve you out with any beaver shots if that’s not how this works.”
Beaver shots. God. I had to clutch my chest to hold the peal of hysterical laughter inside.
“The teddy is fine if it fits your comfort level. Grab a couple of other things too. As sexy as you like. I recommend a sheer robe for part of the session if you have one, though you can be naked underneath it if you’re okay with—”
“Really? Fully nude. Wow. Hmm.” Keys cocked her head. “Quinn would probably pop a vessel.”
“Just as long as he doesn’t lose function anywhere important.”
Keys pointed at me. “True that, sister. Okay, yeah, I have a sort of sheer robe. I can open it up a little. As long as you’re sure you won’t be weirded out.”
“Nope. This is my business.” The confidence in my voice pleased me immeasurably. Maybe I finally was finding my way back to that self-assured woman I’d once been.
Finally.
“It’s up to the comfort of the client. Some stay covered head-to-toe. Some prefer almost naked. I’m fine with anything, as I have all the same parts.” I shrugged. “Besides, it’s art. The woman’s form is beautiful in all shapes and sizes.”
Even mine. I needed to remember that.
More than two hours later, I’d snapped Keys from more angles than she’d probably ever expected. Once I’d even climbed up on a chair so I could shoot her from above. She gave me plenty to work with. Not only was she a remarkably lovely woman, she was at ease with her own body and it showed. Nothing I suggested made her nervous. That included encouraging her into poses with her hands in places that nearly crossed a few boundaries.
Guess that was just what I did nowadays.
When Quinn finally walked in, Keys and I were laughing over a bowl
of popcorn. We’d put on a crappy horror movie, which Keys hadn’t been sure about watching. Halfway through, she’d decided it was the best thing ever.
Quinn stopped in the doorway. “Calliope,” he said in his gruff voice. “This is a surprise.”
“She’s staying with us until we move on. She’s quiet as a mouse, promise.”
I cleared my throat. “Sorry I curtailed your banging.”
Keys nearly choked on a piece of popcorn, she laughed so hard.
Quinn barely cast me a glance as he headed off to shower. Only his raised eyebrow told me I’d even been heard. A moment later, he shut the bathroom door with a definite click.
“One woman is frightening enough to him. Two? Horrifying.” Keys slipped her arm through mine and shoveled in popcorn with the other hand. “So let’s make sure we giggle a lot.”
Quinn went from the bathroom to the bedroom, where he hid for the rest of the night. We watched movie after movie, and I didn’t check the phone I’d turned off. I hated shutting out Owen like this because he didn’t deserve it, but I had to talk to Lila first. I’d texted her and asked her for a meeting on Monday, which she’d fit in during the afternoon. I owed her the professional courtesy of not proceeding with Owen until I informed her what happened.
As if she didn’t already know, social media maven that she was. I liked living in denial. The tacos were delicious.
After my meeting with Lila, depending on what she said, I’d talk to Owen. Oh, I’d be talking to him regardless. He was far too important. But her response might change the tone of mine, if not the message itself.
I wanted him, and for far more than just sex. Talking to Keys had only reaffirmed how much. He’d awakened me in more ways than I had words to express. He made me laugh. More than that, he made me happy, and I hoped he could say the same about me. Owen truly was a wonderful man, one any woman would be lucky to call her own.
It was time for me to get lucky, dammit.
Sunday Keys and I went shopping. Lots of shopping. I mostly browsed, and worked on ignoring my phone. Whether Owen called or not, he’d be there to talk to on Monday.
Manipulated: a Rockstar Romantic Comedy (Hammered Book 3) Page 19
