She picked at the arm of the couch. “There are some parts of my life that feel freeing all of a sudden, places where I can look back and see how badly Brock treated me. The rest of my life, though, feels empty. All the thoughts that used to gravitate around Brock are now loose and flying around in the wind. Does that even make any sense?”
There was a grunt on the other side of the vent. “Yeah. It makes sense.”
Lily wondered if she should go on, but her words were becoming jumbled. Devastation was creeping up on her again, a trauma she couldn’t escape. If she closed her eyes for too long, the image of Brock and the fitness instructor would come back. She couldn’t take it. Not just then. So, she turned toward the television.
“I was…changed recently,” Rodrigo confessed. “I wasn’t always a shifter like Dante or Van. Another shifter lost control near my college campus. I thought I was dealing with a rabid dog until the thing stepped out of the shadows. Since then I’ve been working on getting myself under control. It’s like I inherited the guy’s problems. Like my beast came as part of a package deal that included a lot of useless baggage.”
“Is that why you’re having a bad night?”
There was a thud, like his forehead hitting the door. “Yeah.”
She scowled at the door between them before unfolding herself from the couch. Her hand shook when she reached for the doorknob. This was either the bravest thing she’d ever done or the dumbest.
No, that was wrong. Dating Brock was the dumbest thing she’d ever done.
She went to turn the handle, but the door wouldn’t budge. Then she noticed the deadbolt above it. Only, it was already unlocked.
“Nice try. I have it locked from the inside.”
“What for?”
“My beast is unruly, like I’ve said. Sometimes, it needs a time out. I got a call…no, never mind. All you need to know is that Dante picked me up before I could hurt anyone. He unlocked the door hours ago, but I kept my side locked because I know my beast isn’t ready to go out.”
“You sound fine to me,” Lily said, even if it came off a little petulant.
He laughed, but she could tell the sound was pained. Bitter. Her heart wrenched. She could help. She could make things easier. If only he would unlock the door.
“Are you going to sit outside the door all night and wait for me to come out? You have to go home at some point.”
She grinned and pulled her phone out of her purse, cancelling the driver she ordered a while ago. Work wouldn’t be waiting for her because the next day was her day off. There was nothing else she wanted to spend her time doing.
“You have underestimated me for the last time,” she told him through the grate.
This time, his laugh was brighter. The strain she heard in it had softened, and hope fluttered in her chest. The night might be long, but she knew it would be worth it.
“Lily, you don’t understand.”
“I won’t be able to until you explain it to me. That’s how that works. Communication helps both parties be on the same level.” She wished she’d realized that much earlier. Like, at the beginning of her previous relationship.
“How was your book? Did I make the right choice?” He was changing the subject, avoiding any talk of himself.
Her shoulders sank at the evasion, but she could sit and talk to him about anything and everything. The longer they chatted, the better he seemed to become. It was like the tension in the air was fading with each soft exhale. She might not be able to see inside the room to him, but she could hear the hope in his voice when he spoke.
“I read a bit of it earlier,” she said. “It’s not what I normally read, but it seems pretty good so far.”
“Don’t you read romance? Did I misunderstand?”
“Oh, you’re right.” Her cheeks heated. How did she explain this to him? “I don’t read books about normal people though.”
“The lone ranger archetype hardly seems like a normal person. I don’t think I’m picking up what you’re putting down.”
“Okay. Let me put it like this.” Tongue pressed against the inside of her cheek, she struggled to find the right words. It was really obvious, what she should say, but saying that out loud felt weird. Like he would judge her.
She wasn’t Vivian with her weird fetishes. She wasn’t searching for a man who could satisfy some strange desire. It was just that she liked the thrill the books gave her. The way the heroine always seemed to become the center of the hero’s world. It was not something she’d ever felt before.
“I’m still waiting, Lily.”
She liked the way he said her name. It rolled off his tongue like a flower unfurling and left a gentle warmth in her chest.
“I like vampire romance. Okay?”
His laugh was rumbling. It vibrated through her and reached parts low inside her like searching fingers eager to please. She squirmed in her seat, trying to ignore the feeling that she normally got from books alone.
“I hate to tell you that you’re in the wrong place if you’re looking for vampires.”
Her blood suddenly chilled. “You aren’t telling me there’s a vampire bar in town, are you?”
The lock inside the room clicked and the door swung open. Rodrigo grinned down at her, grasping either side of the door frame as he leaned forward. “Not that I know of. My pack and I are the only monsters in town.”
There was a flicker of shame across his face, his gaze going distant. Lily couldn’t take it. She put her feet on the floor and patted the seat beside her. Rodrigo came back to his senses, eyes locking on her hand.
“I shouldn’t,” he said as he was already unfolding his body from the doorway and moving toward her. “But I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”
There was a crash upstairs, the crowd growing rowdy. Rodrigo paused and glared at the ceiling. His shoulder twitched. Lily wasn’t sure what that meant, but after the conversation they’d had, it couldn’t be good. Instead of letting him focus on what was going on upstairs, she pulled him down to the seat beside her.
He collapsed into a heap next to her, his heat radiating off his body. It touched every part of her and made her nipples taut. Her cheeks warmed at the realization. She hoped he wouldn’t be able to tell. Her bra was padded enough that he shouldn’t be able to notice. Then again, the cups had been thin enough for his heat to make it through.
She was in trouble. Everything about Rodrigo turned her inside out. Being around him was new and enchanting and frightening all at once. It wasn’t that she thought he would kill her. There was no fear of that happening. If anything, Lily was afraid of embarrassing herself. She was horrible at flirting, at making her needs known.
By the end of the night, Rodrigo wouldn’t know anything about the way he affected her.
Chapter Six
Rodrigo’s whole body was aflame when he was near her. She drew him in like the sun. He wanted to revolve around Lily, but when she pulled her knees close to her chest again, he wondered if she was only trying to be a good friend.
The man who hurt her was an idiot. Destroying such a sweet soul must have taken a particularly evil man. Rodrigo would have hunted him down and given him an earful if he wasn’t afraid of losing control of his beast in the process. The last thing he needed was her ex’s death on his plate.
Or a new pack member.
Rodrigo had enough to take care of. He still needed to hunt Carol’s kidnapper, the one who had threatened Lily’s life, too. Just thinking about it again filled him with rage. A growl rumbled in his chest and filled the room.
Lily looked like she was going to say something when the door to the bar burst open. A shifter tumbled down the stairs and landed against the corner of the sectional. The couch jerked and Lily let out a yelp. She reached for him and held on. He would have gotten up and dealt with the shifter on the floor if she hadn’t touched him. With her hands on him, Rodrigo lost all sense.
He was vaguely aware of someone coming down the stairs, but all he could see
was Lily. She looked up at him as if she was getting lost in him, too.
“No hanky-panky on my new couch,” Dante growled as he hauled the unconscious shifter back up the stairs.
The moment vanished into thin air, nothing more than steam between Rodrigo’s fingers. He growled at his Alpha, but Dante just winked and disappeared.
“You heard the boss,” Lily mumbled as she leaned away from Rodrigo.
He wanted to pull her back into his body, show her just how he felt for her. The only thing that allowed him to keep his hands to himself was the idea of putting her in danger. He couldn’t let this go on. Not while there was a kidnapper out there who thought hurting Lily would stop Rodrigo.
The kidnapper was right.
Rodrigo didn’t know what he’d do if anyone hurt her. He barely knew the woman, but his every instinct screamed to protect her. She was small and delicate, sweet and fragile. He wanted to make her his, but it wasn’t the right time.
He didn’t know if there would ever be a right time.
“Lily, I…” He shook his head.
“What is it? Do I smell? I did spill my drink on myself earlier. Though that was partly your fault for scaring me.”
He laughed. “Would you mind if I lay down? I’d like to put my head in your lap. If that’s okay with you.”
For a moment, he couldn’t read her expression. Panic flared in his chest. He’d clearly asked for something that made her uncomfortable.
“That sounds nice,” she replied.
Her thighs were soft and pillowy. The way she looked down at him as he rested his head in her lap filled him with hope. Her fingers twined through his hair. She played with his curls, wrapping them around her fingers. The beast inside him settled. For once, the constant scream for blood and violence wasn’t there.
His head was filled with blessed silence.
This was how he wished he could live the rest of his days. Relaxing into her lap, he let his eyes drift shut. He became aware that his beast was not silent but content. It wasn’t that the beast had disappeared. Though Rodrigo had hoped the beast vanished, it had simply stopped begging for violence. In Lily’s presence, it barely thought of those things.
He felt more like himself than he had in the past year.
Each trail of her fingers over his scalp left a small fire in its wake. He was tempted to reach up and pull her down to him, but he didn’t know if she was ready. Like she’d said earlier, she’d only recently gotten out of a long-term relationship. Plus, Rodrigo barely had control of his beast.
If today was any indication, Rodrigo was still years away from having the balanced control that Dante and Van exercised. Rodrigo was a ticking time bomb. Especially where Lily was concerned. She’d already found a way into his heart, for better or worse. As much as he wanted to hold her close, he knew she would be the chink in his armor.
Any threat to her safety would ruin his careful work. All he needed to do was put distance between them. Get up. Walk away.
But he couldn’t.
Not when her hands were in his hair. When she was looking down at him like he was her entire world. All he could do was grab her wrist and hold on as a wave of conflicting emotions tore at him.
Save her.
Protect her.
He didn’t know who would hurt her first. The kidnapper or him.
***
Lily liked this. It was different. It made her heart race. Rodrigo looked up at her from her lap, his brown eyes like whiskey in the light. He held her wrist, like he needed an anchor. She didn’t know why. It was impossible to tell what was trying to sweep him away.
It could have been his beast, the reason he locked himself inside the room. Maybe, like her, he was lonely, and it threatened to overtake him if he didn’t hold on to her. That was wishful thinking on her part. She wanted someone to understand how she felt if only so that she wasn’t alone. No one else deserved to endure that kind of torment.
“Tell me more about yourself,” she told Rodrigo. “Tell me what you want in life.”
A growl vibrated his chest. It rumbled up his throat before filling the room. His grip on her tightened, briefly. A flash of heat washed through her core. She clenched her thighs to lock in the scent of her flooding desire and flashed him a tight smile.
“What I want?” His voice was low, deep. It resonated through her and touched places no one had bothered to uncover.
Lily bit the inside of her cheek. This was the flash fire of emotion that all her romance books warned her about. This was the flame that would burn hot and fast. She didn’t know if she could survive it though. Would she come out on the other end happier? Or would her world burn around her like it had with Brock?
There was no way of knowing without giving herself over to it, but she wondered if she was ready. There was a chance she was letting herself be taken by these feelings when her heart was still too raw. If those wounds had not healed yet, she would carry them into this new infatuation with her. They would ooze with poison from Brock’s betrayal and taint everything to come.
Over and over, she told herself to lean back, to pull away. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She sank into Rodrigo. His heat drew her in. She couldn’t deny him.
He brought her hand down to his chest, over his heart, so she could feel the way it hammered beneath his ribs. She didn’t know if that meant he was nervous or excited. It meant that he felt something, though.
He felt something for her.
Lily’s heart leapt into her throat. Her breath came fast as she leaned into him. Greedily, he reached for her and pulled her to him. Their lips crashed together. His teeth scraped her lips. It should have hurt, but she was too lost in her own hunger. It sharpened and turned toward him, making her lips part.
Rodrigo groaned into her mouth, his tongue pushing past hers. The scent of him, like fresh wood and heady male musk, filled her nose. It opened her flood gates. Warmth spilled between her legs and betrayed her own need.
Rodrigo’s fingers threaded through her hair and held her in place. When his hand tightened into a fist and tugged, she cried out. He swallowed the sound with his mouth. She could make all the little noises and he would devour them one after another. The way he devoured her.
Wholly.
Completely.
Slowly, he sat up. He fell back and pulled her atop him. Her heart thumped and her fingertips tingled. The door at the top of the stairs opened, Rodrigo pulled her into another greedy kiss, and the door closed without a word.
Lily laughed nervously, but that anxious energy dissipated as his hands slid up her waist. Fire danced over her skin when he pulled her top away from her body. Skin on skin, she felt like she might burst into flames. It was all too much and not enough at once.
She nibbled his tongue when his fingers grazed the bottom of her breasts. Fingers flicked her nipples and her breath caught. She wanted all this. She wanted all of him.
Rodrigo.
A scream broke out upstairs. They paused, breathing hard. Rodrigo looked to the ceiling above. His hands clenched tight around her. Lily was about to ask what was wrong when the door above flew open again.
She thought the person would disappear, but footsteps rumbled the stairs. Lily rolled away from Rodrigo, wiping at her mouth with the back of one hand while she righted her shirt with the other. It felt like the evidence of what they’d done was written all over her, as if his hands had left behind damning prints.
Lily looked up to see a woman launch herself into Rodrigo’s arms. The sight made Lily’s stomach turn over. The woman broke into tears, her whole body shaking from them. Lily took a step back, unsure. Anger burned in the pits of her gut. She didn’t know where to direct it.
At the woman for interrupting?
Or at Rodrigo for keeping secrets?
Was this his girlfriend? Lily didn’t want to be like the fitness instructor. She didn’t want to break up another relationship, to be the source of that kind of pain. Not even unintentionally.
“Carol,” Rodrigo whispered as he stroked the woman’s hair. His eyes met Lily’s over the woman’s shoulder, but when he spoke, she new he was speaking to Carol. “What happened? Are you alright?”
Lily took a step back. It was obvious she didn’t belong here. This felt wrong, like she was intruding. Her heart felt raw all over again. Just like she knew it would. If only she’d been smart enough to cover it up. Instead, she’d so foolishly offered it to someone new.
Did Rodrigo even know that she’d been ready to give him everything?
She retreated upstairs. The bar was quiet, all eyes on the door to the basement. Her face heated, and she ducked her head. This wasn’t where she was meant to be. Coming to the bar had been a mistake.
Glancing back, Lily hoped like hell that she wasn’t a homewrecker.
Outside, she wrapped one arm around herself while she ordered another drive through the app. This time, it said the driver would be there in ten minutes. She could handle ten minutes outside.
But she couldn’t handle ten minutes alone.
Her mind wandered. It kept trying to take her back to the basement, before the woman screamed and threw herself at Rodrigo. The way he’d touched her, like she was the only woman in the world, came back to her. Had it been a lie?
She didn’t want to believe it. What was the chances of getting two lying men in a row? Or was that just the type she attracted now?
The bar door opened. A man was silhouetted by the light inside. Lily turned away and pretended not to notice him stepping toward her. It was probably Dante or Van coming out to apologize for Rodrigo’s lies. She didn’t need that kind of pity. She needed to get her life together.
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