Ryan looked around, thought about telling the three that he didn’t need help. He wanted to be alone and pound nails out of frustration. But that was ridiculous and pointless. He needed to get this house finished before Cynthia came back. If she ever came back! Her being gone was starting to feel like the last time, when he’d come back from college for winter break and she’d gone off to avoid him.
But why the hell would she avoid him now? Things had been going so well! Damn, he could still feel her in his arms, the way she sighed in her sleep, curling into him. Every night after that hike on the first day, they hadn’t been able to keep their hands off each other. And damn it, she couldn’t even claim that it was just sex! It wasn’t just sex! Yeah, the sex had been amazing. Mind blowing! Incredible!
But they’d talked too. They’d laughed and talked and debated about everything! Sure, they had their different opinions, but none were deal breakers. He liked beer, she preferred wine or cocktails. Their décor style was different too, but he didn’t care that much, as long as he could walk into a room and see her. On all of the basic issues though, they agreed. Politics, religion…he had no idea about finances because they carefully avoided talking about money. He wouldn’t let her pay for dinners out and she wouldn’t let him pay all the time. So they ended up cooking at her place.
“Earth to Ryan,” Mack called.
Ryan blinked and looked around. They were standing in the middle of what would be the master bedroom. A huge room with a large bathroom and even bigger walk in closet. All designed with Cynthia in mind.
“Right,” he commented. “I appreciate the help. I need to finish the window and this wall. The electrician comes next Tuesday. I can put the insulation in after that. And then I can drywall everything next. I have the bathroom materials in the shed, and then…well…”
Mack turned to Brant and Reid. “Then he needs to get Cynthia in here to decide on furniture and flooring.”
His brothers laughed, nodding in understanding.
“Okay, so how about if we each take a window and finish off the framing? Then we’ll help you with the last wall and make sure everything is ready for the installers?”
Ryan nodded in agreement and everyone got to work. With the extra help, they were completely finished with everything right after lunch so they settled into the “finished” area of Ryan’s cabin to order pizzas and relax with beer.
After they left, Ryan stared at the finished area, wondering if he’d ever get Cynthia up here. He could easily picture her sitting on the wide front porch with him in the morning, sipping coffee and enjoying the sounds of the forest. He’d designed the whole house to bring the outside in, so you could see the trees and the mountains no matter where you looked.
But as he sat on his porch, staring out into the dark night, all he wanted to see was Cynthia. He wanted her to see this place, to help him make it a home. For the past several years, he’d thought about her, wondered what she was doing. They’d lost so many years and he still didn’t understand why she’d hidden from him after he’d gone off to college.
Hell, maybe she’d been right to end things in high school. They’d been so young, so naïve. He’d gone off to college, fully expecting her to join him after she’d graduated from high school. For so long, he’d tormented her and she’d gotten back at him. It had been fun, but now he knew what he really wanted from her.
Glancing at his phone, he muttered a curse when he didn’t see a reply. He knew her mother was sick, but…!
“Hell!” he muttered, irritated at the world in general and at himself specifically for being selfish.
Chapter 16
“You’re hiding,” Mona said as she shuffled into the kitchen several weeks later.
Cynthia looked at her mother, noting her easy movements and the color in her cheeks. She’d been released from the hospital two weeks ago, but she’d still been weak.
Okay, so her mother had made a full recovery. And yeah, Cynthia was hiding.
Her mother walked over to the pantry and pulled out a box of crackers, setting them down in front of Cynthia.
“What’s this?” she asked, staring at the dry crackers with horror.
Her mother shrugged easily. “You need to eat better, but I know that morning sickness makes eating far less appealing.”
Cynthia stared wide eyed at her mother, shocked that she’d figured it out. “Um…well…”
Mona laughed softly as she poured some coffee for herself. “Honey, if the throwing up every morning wasn’t enough of a clue, the herbal tea and the worry on your face would have given you away.” She smiled softly. “Congratulations, by the way.”
Cynthia blushed, lowering her head slightly. “You’re right. I’m pregnant. And I don’t know how to tell Ryan.”
Mona laughed, clapping her hands with delight. “I always thought you were wrong to go away after he’d gone off to college. But I couldn’t stop you. After what your father did to us, I knew that you weren’t ready to trust.” She sat next to Cynthia, hugging her gently. “Honey, Ryan’s one of the good guys.”
Fighting tears, Cynthia wrapped her arms her stomach, trying to stop the fear filling her throat. “He left, Mom.” She’d always considered herself a strong, confident woman, but Ryan was her one weakness. She was terrified of what he could do to her. How he could hurt her. The man had a lot of power over her.
Mona looked into Cynthia’s eyes gently. “He went to college, honey. He didn’t run away, he graduated from high school and continued his education.” She looked at her daughter carefully. “You’re the one who ran away. And you’re doing it again.”
Cynthia frowned at her mother. “I’m not running away, Mom. And I didn’t do it back in high school.”
“Aren’t you?” she replied softly. “Ryan went to college. From the moment the two of you started dating, you knew that was going to happen. But when he came back for winter break, the first person he wanted to see, besides his father, was you. And you’d gone off to Wyoming to work. Or more specifically, you went off to Wyoming to avoid seeing Ryan.”
She stared at her mother, a sick feeling growing in her belly that had nothing to do with her pregnancy. “Because he needed to get on with his life. High school romances rarely last. I was just…giving him back his life.” She stared at her mother, wondering why she’d say that she was hiding. She hadn’t been hiding. She was….
“Honey, you loved him.”
Tears formed in her eyes and Cynthia quickly blinked, not wanting to cry. She’d been crying too often lately, missing Ryan so much that it physically hurt. But she was too scared to go back to Colorado.
“Yeah, I loved him. But you and I know that love isn’t always enough.”
Mona touched Cynthia’s hand. “Sometimes, love is more than enough. Trust yourself, Cyn. Trust that you are a good, beautiful person and that Ryan loves you enough to not abandon you as your father did. He was weak. He’d messed up the business by trying to buy friends with free beer. Are you seriously going to tell me that Ryan is that weak?”
“No! He’s strong and confident and…” she shook her head, realizing where her mother was going with her argument. “But he won’t be able to stay in his job forever. He’ll move on.”
“Yes, it is possible that he’ll find a job somewhere else. Or he might stay in town for the rest of his life.” She sighed. “Honey, there are no guarantees in life. But hiding isn’t a good option to avoid being hurt. It just makes the world a sadder, more miserable place.”
Cynthia knew that she was right. She was miserable here, wanting so badly to be with Ryan. But what if…?
“What if I trust him and…? What if I give him everything I am and he still walks away?”
Mona smiled and squeezed her hand comfortingly. “Honey, what if you give him everything, and he gives everything right back?”
Cynthia stared at her hands, trying to figure out what she was really afraid of. And when it hit her, she couldn’t stop the question. “What if
I’m not enough?” Cynthia asked, her voice cracking as she remembered the pain of her father leaving them.
Mona blinked back tears as she stared at her beautiful, vibrant daughter. “We survived when your father left us. Not just survived, honey. We thrived! And besides, your father left like a coward. He didn’t want to face up to his failures. From everything I know about Ryan, he is not a coward!”
Those words...! She was right!
“I’m the coward!” she gasped, looking at her mother with horror. “I’m the coward and I’ve done exactly what Dad did!”
She stood up and started pacing, disgusted with herself. “You’re right, Mom! I’m hiding! Hiding and…” she shook her head, her hand coming to slap her forehead as she viewed her actions in a different light. “And I ran away back in high school because I was too afraid of what might happen. So I did to Ryan exactly what Dad did to us!’
Her mother laughed and stood up. “Well, not exactly, dear. But yes, you hid away from potential pain instead of embracing potential happiness.”
Hearing it phrased that way, everything clicked into place. “You’re right!” Swinging around, she turned and headed to the bedroom. “I have to go! I have to get home!”
Chapter 17
Cynthia laughed as she walked through the doors of The Bull Dog. It looked amazing! The pictures and the arrangement of the tables, the delectable scents from the appetizers! It was shocking the changes Eve had managed over the past month!
And the glow surrounding Eve was amazing! Cynthia ignored the spurt of jealousy that her friend was engaged. And to Mack! The sheriff! Good grief, she would have bet money that Mack would never marry! He was too good looking and he loved his weekends in far off towns where he found ladies that weren’t looking for commitment. Mack never, ever, dated anyone in town, hating the gossip and the possible issues that might come up once the relationship broke off. But Mack was completely in love with Eve! How that had happened, she’d love to know. But Cynthia couldn’t focus on that story right now.
She had her own story to tell.
She needed to see Ryan. But she hadn’t even told him that she was back in town!
Sighing, she rubbed her temples, trying to figure out the best way to tell Ryan that she was pregnant.
“Go to him.”
Cynthia swung around, finding Penny right behind her. The woman who had previously looked in her late sixties had been transformed over the past month. Penny, with her two rambunctious twin boys, looked relaxed and…amazingly, she was smiling. The dark circles were gone, her hair was brushed and…was that a bit of makeup? Cynthia had never seen the woman wear makeup! She looked…pretty!
“You should go talk to Ryan,” Penny urged, rubbing her hands against the apron.
Cynthia blinked. “I should?”
Penny smiled and nodded. “Yeah. He’s been in here lately and looks…angry. Upset and lost. And now, seeing you,” Penny’s eyes dropped to Cynthia’s stomach and her grin widened, “I think you’re just the person he’s been waiting to hear from.”
Cynthia’s hand moved to cover her stomach. She hadn’t been able to snap her jeans lately and her breasts were…well, they’d always been too big, but with her pregnancy, they were huge. Almost embarrassingly large!
“I should, but…”
Penny glanced out the window and her smile got even bigger. “Okay, so maybe you don’t need to go to him. He’s…”
The door opened and an angry Ryan stepped through the entrance. His eyes moved over her features and Cynthia wished she’d taken more care with her appearance. This wasn’t how she wanted Ryan to see her after a month away. Especially when she needed to tell him about the baby. She’d planned this so carefully on the long flight back. She was going to put on a pretty dress and do her hair, her makeup, and maybe cook something. She hadn’t decided if she was going to seduce him and tell him when they were naked and making love, or if she should tell him when they were fully clothed. He needed to decide if he wanted to be a part of the baby’s life or not. She didn’t want to pressure him into anything.
“Cyn!” he murmured, taking two steps towards her. But he stopped inches from taking her into his arms.
She’d thought he would kiss her but instead, he took her hand and pulled her out the door. “We need to talk,” he led her out of the bar and to his waiting Jeep, then opened the passenger door for her. “Please.”
Cynthia ached to feel his arms around her, to have him kiss her and tell her that he loved her.
With a nod, she slipped into the Jeep and watched as he walked around to the other side. Goodness, he looked amazing! So tall and powerfully built! Would her child have his confidence? Oh, she certainly hoped so!
Looking around, she realized that he was driving higher into the mountains. “We’re going to your place? Isn’t it a bit…rustic?” she teased, trying to lighten the tension.
“Not anymore. I’ve made a few changes. Mack and his brothers helped a lot.”
She nodded, more than a little curious. “What kinds of changes?”
He made another right and there it was. He’d finished the front porch and it looked beautiful! There was a covered section and an uncovered section, the uncovered area jutting out on one side so that someone could watch the stars at night. There was a stone fire pit that had several logs sticking out and Cynthia could easily imagine listening to the wood crackle as they snuggled on the big chairs. The covered portion had overhead fans and comfortable furniture surrounding a gas fire pit so that the smoke from a wood burning fire wouldn’t create a hazard.
“I love it,” she breathed as she stepped out onto the gravel driveway.
“I remembered our conversations when we were in high school, when we talked about our dream house. I tried to incorporate all of them into the overall design, plus a few more that I dreamed up over the years.”
She smiled, looking up at him. “How did you get all this done so fast?”
“Are you kidding? You’ve been gone for a month, Cynthia. I’ve had a lot of spare time on my hands, waiting for you to come back.”
Her smile faded and she looked away, then back up at him. “I’m sorry about that.”
He moved closer, taking her hand in his. “Let me show you the rest of the house and then we’ll talk, okay?”
He led her inside and she gasped. He’d gutted the interior and started working on the kitchen before she’d dashed out of town. It had been a useable area before she’d gone to help her mother, but now…the kitchen was amazing! The white shelves went all the way up to the ceiling with small, glass covered cabinets at the top. The dark counters contrasted perfectly with the white…and he’d chosen almost black hardwood for the flooring! It looked…it looked like something out of a magazine! Fancy lighting filled the area with warmth, but the dining area had a wall of windows that let in even more light and warmth. She suspected that those windows were actually doors but she couldn’t tell from this angle.
Then she saw the living space.
“Oh my! Ryan, this is…incredible!” The dark hardwoods continued through the entryway area and the living room space. It was all just one, massive room. Well, not massive. The space felt large because it was so fresh and…unified! But in reality, the space here was just the old, dingy room that had been here before. Although, now everything was cleaned and polished and…inviting. “You did all of this?”
“Most of it. I had help. I wanted it finished by the time you came back, so I hired out for some of the work, and then Mack and his brothers contributed their labor to help me finish the rest of it.” He led her through the living area that didn’t have any furniture other than a few folding chairs. “There’s more,” he told her and led her down a hallway off the living area. He’d been working on this hallway before, although she hadn’t understood what it would look like. But he opened one door and…a bedroom! It wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t small either. And there were big windows in this room too.
“A bathroom co
nnects this bedroom with…” he led her further down the hallway. “This one,” he finished, opening another door.
“Two bedrooms? You’ve more than doubled the space of this house!”
She wrapped her arm around his waist and hugged him. “It’s amazing,” she whispered, proud of him.
“Still more,” he led her further down the hallway. He opened another door and…the master bedroom! She knew it was a master bedroom because of the massive bed against one wall. As she carefully stepped through the doorway, her heart pounding, she sighed with amazement as she took in the wall of windows. No, not windows…doors! He walked over to the doors and pushed. They opened up, folding and tucking against the wall. There was another, smaller, deck off this bedroom! A private oasis!
“Oh, Ryan! I love your place!”
“And still more,” he led her through the other door into a light filled bathroom. A soaking tub sat in one corner with a shower on the opposite side. Skylights lit up the white room, but that wasn’t what caused her to tear up. It might have been the pregnancy hormones, but Cynthia couldn’t stop the tears when she took in the two sinks. Two! And they were connected.
She knew that a double vanity was normal for a master suite, but staring at the sinks, she couldn’t help but think about her hopes. And fears.
“This is amazing, Ryan. You’ve done a beautiful job.”
“You don’t like it,” he sighed. Taking her hand, he pulled her closer. “I had to guess on what you might like in here. But I must have missed the mark. I’ll fix it, Cynthia. I promise, we’ll redo the bathroom until you love it.”
Her heart stopped beating for a long moment, then started up again at a frantic pace. “You tried to guess what I would want in there?” she whispered. “Why?”
“Because…” he sighed and shook his head. “I wasn’t sure how to do this…” He took both of her hands. “Cynthia, I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that your father walked out on you, but I promise, I will never do that! I know that we’ll have fights. But…I will never leave you, Cynthia. I’ve spent the past several years trying to figure out how to live without you. When you broke up with me after I left for college, I couldn’t figure out how to go on without you. I did it, but not well. I want you, Cynthia. I want you for the rest of my life.”
Second Chance Temptation (Sinful Nights Book 4) Page 13
