by Eve R. Hart
“When I was fifteen,” I continued on, “I was helping my father at an underground poker game. He wasn’t as good at reading people as I was, so I stood back and gave him slight signals helping him out. The place was disgusting as fuck. Like, no one even raised a brow at the fact a fifteen-year-old girl was there, hanging around. And I wasn’t the only young girl there. Before you ask, no they weren’t the men’s daughters. Like I said, disgusting. Well, pops was doing his thing and I was over in the corner, being as invisible as I could. One of the guys kept looking over at me and since I knew he was watching, I made sure not to signal my father until the man’s eyes were off of me. I was fucking sly like that.
“But then he figured it out. Next thing I knew, there was a gun aimed at me and before I could run or even breathe, three shots were fired, hitting me here.” I held my palm against my stomach. He’d already seen the scars left behind from that night, so I knew he knew what I was talking about. I figured he could put the rest of the pieces together—why I couldn’t have any children. The sadness that washed over his eyes almost made me feel bad about that fact for the first time ever.
When it had happened, I was really too young to think about kids. I didn’t want them at that point because I was practically a kid myself, so not having the ability to do so didn’t make me worry any. Then, as I grew older, I simply didn’t think about it. My life wasn’t one that allowed things like relationships and future and what have you, so, I never even pictured anything of the sort.
“Well, I was pretty much considered damaged material by my father at that point. He was more determined to get rid of me after that. So much so, that he offered a hefty amount of money for the marriage to go on. Two months after the incident, I fled. I took what I could and ran and didn’t stop moving.”
Six months I was able to get by okay. Then I began to struggle, the simple cons not pulling in enough money for me to survive on. I was hungry and my body was failing from exhaustion because I was sleeping in drafty, abandoned buildings and in alleyways. Six fucking months and I hit the lowest point in my life.
I was in an alley, down on my knees, ready to do whatever I had to do just to survive. Offering up the only thing I had left for just a few dollars so I could eat. Yeah, never said my past wasn’t colored in gray.
But I never got the chance to stoop that low, because a dark, mysterious man stopped it all. At first, I had thought he wanted to get some of the action, but then he said the most unexpected thing as he held out his opened hand to me.
“There is only one way to go from here.”
I would never forget those words as long as I lived.
And so, I took his hand and got up off of my knees and let him lead me out of that dark alley.
He took me to his home, which happened to be out in the middle of fucking nowhere with not a neighbor around for miles. After a while, he began to pass on everything that he knew to me. That happened to be…you guessed it…how to kill a man without anyone knowing. You see, this dark stranger was a contract killer and a fucking good one at that. So, I learned everything from him that I now use to make a living.
And let me make this clear, there was never anything weird between us. He never once made me feel uncomfortable or tried anything with me. I believed we were kindred spirits, like in another life he could have been my brother. That was exactly how I felt about him and I knew it was the same for him. He was the first man in my life that treated me like a person and showed me respect as much as he demanded it from me. When the time came, he encouraged me to spread my wings and fly.
But all of that I kept to myself. Noah had learned enough about me for now. More than enough, but it wasn’t like I could take it back.
So when he realized that I was all talked out, he lifted me up and took me to bed.
This time was different than the first. It was unhurried and sweet, something I was not used to at all but somehow found myself craving as much as my next breath. He loved every inch of me before tasting me. His tongue worked expertly around my clit and the feeling of his beard against my thighs only made it impossible to hold back my orgasm.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Tank
She tasted fucking amazing. That was the only thing I could think as my tongue slowly licked through her folds. The little pants and hardly audible gasps escalated out of her as I sucked her clit into my mouth and I didn’t ever want to stop.
The day had been eye-opening, to say the least. I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined she would have opened up like that to me and she did it with such ease. At first, I could tell that there was hesitation in her eyes, but once she started she just kept going. And I hung on to every word that spilled from her lips. The thing was, I wanted to know every-fucking-thing about the dark beauty.
As I crawled up her body, her legs falling naturally to wrap around my waist, I knew I was in deep. I liked her a fuck of a lot. When I was with her the world felt right.
Don’t get me wrong, there was still the heaviness of the shit I was going through, but being around her I finally felt like I could actually move with it all sitting on my shoulders. That no matter how hard the road ahead was, I would be able to walk it. That was how I knew she wasn’t just an escape and all the feelings I was having weren’t an illusion of evading. No, she made me want to face everything head-on, to crawl out of the hellhole I was in and find the way to a new path.
Did this make me a little fucked? Yes, I would say so. Because it was not a good time to even entertain the idea of a relationship with anyone. I was at my worst and I feared that I would only drag everyone down that was around me. I could admit that was part of the reason why I’d left home in the first place and the last thing I ever expected was to find someone like Dya around here.
But as I settled myself between her legs and kissed her tenderly, I didn’t give a crap about any of that. I cleared my head and focused on the beautiful woman under me that I desperately wanted to be inside again.
Only this time, I wasn’t going to fuck her like I was a man starved and lost. I was going to take my time and learn everything about her body because that was all I cared about at that moment. I wanted to bring her to the edge slowly and keep her there for as long as my body would allow.
The tiny voice in the back of my head started nagging me at the wrong time. Sure, she had said she couldn’t have children but I still had a hard time trusting. That was something that wasn’t going to change overnight.
I must have stopped kissing her because next thing I knew, she was grabbing my face, her slender fingers sliding through my beard, and her eyes were scrutinizing me like she was trying to figure out what was wrong.
With no words spoken, she half-leaned over the bed and dug through a duffel bag on the floor, coming back with a foil packaged that made me sigh with relief inside. She knew, and I should have found it weird and creepy how she had just read my damn mind with one look into my eyes but then again, it was a hell of a lot better than having to actually ask for it.
Normally, I would have been prepared, but seeing as before last night I hadn’t even thought about having sex with another woman, condoms were not something I kept stock on.
With lightning speed, I sheathed my cock and then with the ease of a saint, I slid into her. I loved how her back bowed towards me and her short nails dug into my shoulders. Her plump lips pouted and the sexiest sigh escaped her lips when I was fully seated inside of her. With slow, controlled movements, I slid in and out of her, the agonizing friction only making me harder. And damn, if she didn’t feel amazing. I could get lost in her for hour—days—and that was all I wanted to do.
My mouth captured hers as I sped up my pace ever so slightly. I was going to fuck her slowly until her body was begging for release, and then I was going to do it over and over again.
“Noah.” My name fell from her lips in a desperate whisper. I rocked into her harder keeping my pace steady. Her hardened nipples scraped against my chest and her fi
ngers tangled in my hair as she started to quake under me. She was holding herself back as much as I was, neither of us wanting this to end.
“Dya.” I drew out her name in a low growl next to her ear. “Angel, you feel so good.”
“Don’t stop. Fuck,” she moaned low.
My hand gripped onto her soft, thick thigh as I started thrusting into her faster. Little, short moans escaped her throat every time I pushed in deep. Every time I pulled back almost all the way before pushing back into her tight pussy to the hilt. She was close, her walls clenching me tighter and tighter with every thrust.
“Noah, I can’t,” she panted out. And I was right there with her.
“Look at me, Angel,” I whispered and her eyes shot open to meet mine.
Fuck, she was absolutely stunning at that moment, unguarded and completely open. All the emotions flooded her beautiful chocolate eyes and it did me the fuck in.
My balls tightened up and a tingle started at the base of my spine. Shit, I couldn’t hold out any longer. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to be as close to her as I possibly could. But more than anything, I wanted to watch her as she came for me.
Her teeth sank down into her bottom lips as she tried to hold herself together, but I could see it, the light sheen of water that clouded her eyes as she forced her lids to stay open and look into mine. Then her lips parted and a strangled moan escaped her as she came all around me. I couldn’t hold back any longer, and I kept steady thrusts into her as I came right along with her, her walls continuing to suck the life out of me the whole time.
After I took care of the condom and we both showered, we spent the night in that tiny ass bed simply talking. Hours passed in a blur but I found it easy to be around her and I wanted nothing more than to stay there forever. Sleep finally took both of us under at God knows what time and I slept like a baby with my arms wrapped around her and her soft body pressed into mine.
The next morning, the sun rose, its blinding rays filtering through the dirty glass panes, waking me and bringing reality with it. I couldn’t say that waking up wrapped around her didn’t make my heart beat a little faster but there were things I had to take care of. I made a mental list of all those things as I enjoyed the feeling of laying there a little bit longer. Yeah, I was half sleeping on the floor and my hip hurt like fuck from being pressed on the cold hardwood all night. And my arm was numb where her head had been resting on it the entire night. But, fuck, as my eyes raked over her peaceful face as she slept, I could agree that it was all worth it. She looked less guarded in her sleep and I couldn’t help but think of what it would be like to wake up to that scene every damn day.
Maybe I was getting ahead of myself but so far they were just thoughts. I had no doubt that no matter how much I wanted or wished for it, that all it would ever be was a pipe dream. A magical as hell fantasy. I had a life to get back to and she had a life here. Granted, it didn’t seem like much of one. Come on, look at her place alone, it didn’t exactly scream home. Nothing there looked like someone who was settled and I got the feeling that she was more of the fleeing type. Which only reminded me of what had been done to me in the past. That was the last sort of woman I ever needed to be thinking about the future with.
Like a bucket of cold water being poured over my head, I snapped back to what was real. We were two people clinging to each other for a brief moment. But even as I maneuvered my arm from under her head, I felt a pull to stay put.
“Hey,” she said, her voice deep and rough and it was all I could do to hold back a groan. Just her voice did things to my insides and I knew I was totally screwed. “You trying to sneak out?”
Although there was a bit of lightness in her tone like she was trying to joke, the reality was that was the truth of it.
“Oh,” she said, her face falling as she realized that was exactly what I was trying to do. “Okay. Well, have a good day.”
My heart sank. She was doing her best to put her guard back up and brush me off. I got it, but I didn’t like it.
“No.” I leaned over and kissed her bare shoulder. And yes, she fucking shivered at that. She could pull her mask down all she wanted but her body couldn’t hide her reaction to me. “There are some things I need to take care of. Like, call my mom, for one. I haven’t really talked to her since I’ve been up here. I figured it was time to call her and let her know I’m, ya know, alive and alright.”
As I said those words I actually felt the truth in them. Like when I actually got around to making that call to my mom and I told her that, it might be believable.
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” she said in a normal tone. There was nothing sarcastic or bitter behind her words and for some reason, I didn’t like it.
I opened my mouth to tell her that I would be back. That our time together meant something to me and that I wasn’t ready to walk away from her. Even the thought of telling her that I wanted to see where this could go crossed my mind. But I couldn’t say any of that just yet. The reality of it was that I still had shit to figure out and I needed to do all that before I put it all out there for her. I had a feeling that I would only get one chance to do that and I better make it fucking count because she wasn’t the kind of woman that would give second chances. So if I had even a sliver of uncertainty then it was best to hold off for the right time.
“I will see you soon. I promise.” And I meant it. Even if my destiny took me in the opposite direction from her I would at least make sure to tell her bye.
She gave me a small smile and considering she wasn’t one to smile at all, I took it as a good thing. I pulled her in for a kiss, lingering as long as I could without it turning into something more. Don’t get me wrong, I would have gladly slipped back into those covers and slid into her amazing pussy, but now was not the time.
I got dressed as fast as I could, my clothes were dry but stiff from being soaked with rainwater. Then I headed to the door, giving her one last, long look taking in her naked state and her wild, long hair. I couldn’t believe I was about to leave this stripped beauty in front of me behind. I must have been a dumb fuck to walk away from that.
My eyes met hers and I smiled impishly at the curious look she was shooting my way. Then I turned, my feet feeling as if I was trudging through tar, and walked out the door letting it close behind me.
Once I was safely inside the cabin, I began to pace. The previous day had been hard. I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol and I did the best to shake off the tremors I felt in my body. I wouldn’t say that I didn’t think about drinking while I had been with Dya. I think we all know that would be a lie. But I didn’t want to break whatever bubble we were in to drown myself.
I downed a huge glass of water, trying to quench the thirst that seemed to be as deep as my soul. I just needed to focus on something else. So, despite the urge to put off calling my mom, I didn’t.
“It’s about damn time you called me.” Were the first words out of her mouth when she answered. I chuckled lowly, realizing that I had missed her.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” I said after her huffy breath became quieter.
“When the hell are you coming home, Noah?” Her question made my whole body freeze.
Could I go home? And if I could, was I even ready to do so?
There were too many memories I’d left behind, but there were also great people there, too. And just like that the decision was made, I needed to go home. There was only one major thing holding me back. Dya. As I thought about the look on her face when I’d left her not too long ago I knew it was going to be hard. I couldn’t leave without a goodbye, but how could I even walk away from her? She had saved me. In some small way, she had been the sexy voice of reason whispering in my ear keeping me from giving over into the darkness.
“Soon,” I said in a daze.
“There’s something you’re not telling me,” she said.
“It’s nothing. I’ll be home soon.” I had meant to say something else, but a noise outside the cabin caught my atte
ntion. “I gotta go, Mom.” I hung up before she even had the chance to argue or tell me bye.
A strange tingle shot up my spine and I looked around for my gun, only I had no idea where I’d left it last. I slowed my breathing and tried my best to listen, to hear the noise again, but it was silent.
“Night, night, motherfucker,” an unfamiliar nasally voice said from right behind me as I felt the prick of a needle in my neck.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Nadya
Noah left and all I could manage to do was pull the covers over my head and close my eyes, but not because I was so tired that I needed to get more sleep. For just a few more minutes I needed to block out the outside world. I needed to keep my brain from spinning in all different directions because the only thing I could think right then was ‘what the fuck?!’
Two nights and one entire day spent with a man in an intimate way, well, that was a first for me. The thing was, while I was with him I didn’t give myself a chance to think about anything deeper than the surface as far as feelings for him went. Sure, I dug into my past and talked about it like it was no big deal. Like the scars of my childhood had been healed and closed over. When the truth was that it still hurt. Talking about it only felt like someone was taking a knife and cutting over those scars and I did my best to hide all of that away.
But when he took me to bed and literally cherished every inch of me, I broke. He, for lack of a better expression, made love to me. I could taste the sour in my mouth as I thought of it. I wasn’t the lovemaking type. I wasn’t all ‘here are my feelings, now share yours’ ever. In my line of work, I needed that hard outer shell to be more than just an illusion. I needed it to go through all the way to the middle. And while my heart beat like any other person’s, that was all it was there for, to keep my body alive. I led my life and choices with logic. I figured out all the outcomes and went with the best one. I looked at all the angles and determined the sharpest. That was the problem right then, there was no logic in spending time with Noah. There was no point in telling him about myself and wanting to, in a sense, save him.
