“Your clothes on the floor?” she asked, tugging his long-sleeved thermal up and over his head. “This is sexy.” She sighed dreamily and ran her nails up his abs. He sucked in air through his teeth.
He cupped her breasts through her thin t-shirt. Her back arched as she moaned. “Not as sexy as these.”
Apparently not content to keep talking, Lily pushed him back a little with one hand and took her top off. He shoved his pants and boxer briefs off, his cock hard under her watchful gaze.
She licked her lips, but he grabbed her thighs and buried his head between her legs, licking and sucking at her until she writhed beneath him. Her fingers wound into his hair, pulling so hard that his eyes watered, but he didn’t stop stroking her with his tongue, not even as she came all over it and screamed his name.
He pushed and pushed her over the edge until his cock was close to bursting and then crawled up her body, taking the time to kiss the tip of each nipple.
With infinite care, he spread her thighs again, settling between them while cupping her face in his hand. Staring into her beautiful eyes, he said, “Put me in you.”
Her hands came around his cock, cool fingers exploring as she rubbed him against where she was wet and warm, and he groaned so loudly he swore the bed shook from the vibrations.
Kissing her deeply, he thrust his cock deeply inside of her, and then pulled back a little, only to push back inside even harder.
She dug her nails into his shoulders, spurring him on. Encouraged by her response, he pounded into her for all he was worth.
The headboard thumped rhythmically against the wall with each stroke. He didn’t give a damn if her neighbors heard them. Didn’t give a damn if the entire world knew he was making love to Lily.
Her inner muscles clamped down on him so hard that the orgasm he’d been holding back rushed forward, making his hips slam against hers.
She cried out his name, the sweetest sound he loved to hear, while he growled hers. His heart pounded against his chest and in his ears. He felt as though he’d been running for days, except he was in bed, buried deep inside the tightest, wettest woman he’d ever had the pleasure of being with.
He’d always suspected no other woman compared to Lily, but this…along with the time they’d spent together, proved him right.
Sweet kisses were pressed to his shoulders and then up his neck, until her mouth claimed his. He kissed her slowly, rocking his hips and drawing out the last of both their orgasms.
“I missed this,” he said.
“Me, too.” She stared up at him, her chocolate-brown eyes shining with emotion. “Luke, I—”
He kissed her again, trying to distract her. I love you had been on the tip of her tongue, and while he loved her too, he couldn’t say it during sex. He couldn’t say it all.
So he did what he could do and showed her with his body.
Chapter Eleven
‡
The next morning, Lily arrived early to boot camp so that she could talk to Willow and explain what was going on. She hadn’t seen her in a while, but most people had been trying to give her time to readjust and from what Luke said, Willow would have been one of those non-pressing-to-see-her types of friends.
A grin broke out on Willow’s face. Thankfully, she looked exactly like her picture on Facebook. A lot of people didn’t. At all. It was so weird.
“I’m so glad you’re back,” Willow said as she hugged Lily.
“Me, too!” she said with over exaggerated enthusiasm.
Willow stepped back, a dark brow rising. “You don’t remember me, do you?”
Lily winced. “Sorry. I don’t really remember many people from the past ten years, but every day I’m getting better.”
“That’s wonderful.”
“Yeah, and Luke’s been a big help.”
Willow grinned. “Told you so.”
Lily’s brow furrowed. “Told me what?” Another memory slid into place. “Wait. I know!”
“If Heath and Haven can manage to get married after all the years they didn’t really like each other…then I think there’s hope for you and Luke.”
“I remember you!” She tackle-hugged Willow so hard they fell to the ground. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Willow said, laughing as she rolled to one side. “I’m so happy you remember me. Most people don’t, even if they already know me.”
“Then they are idiots.” Lily stood, wiping off her shorts. “But until they realize it, you need to do something so out of character that everyone who meets you realizes that you are someone to be reckoned with.”
“You want me to yell at people like Denise?”
“No, you goose.” Lily picked up her bag and began to walk to the bench where the class met to check in. “I mean do something so legally shocking that people sit up and take notice.”
“Legally shocking. Never heard of that one.”
“Now you have. So what are you waiting for?” Lily asked, but in her head, she was thinking about her relationship with Luke.
What was he waiting for? Did he think they wouldn’t work out in the end? Had things really been that bad between them? Maybe she should stop looking at him through rose-colored glasses, stop using sex to distract them both, and find out the truth by looking at their past.
By facing their past. Together.
*
“Thanks for meeting me so early,” Luke said as he and Logan sat at Muffin Top. The coffee shop was crowded, so they sat outside. Heaters spaced around them kept them mostly warm.
“You sound like you’re getting ready to give me a dire diagnosis,” Logan said, taking a bite of his chocolate chip muffin.
“Could you be serious for once? I’m here to apologize about the other day.”
Logan’s nose scrunched up. “Other day? If I was a girl, and we were dating, I’d never speak to you again. It’s been a month, dude.”
“I’ve been busy taking care of my wife.”
“She’s not your wife.”
Luke reminded himself that to punch his brother in the face wasn’t something he should do. In public, anyway. “Well, it seems strange to call her my ex, and we’re too old for boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“Point taken.” Logan took another bite of his muffin. “I’m leaving for Vegas tomorrow.”
“What?”
“Yep,” Logan said cheerfully. “Caught Corinne fucking my battle buddy in our bed, so I’m taking back the ring and spending my money on booze and strippers.”
Blindsided, Luke could only stare at his twin. Then he finally said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know—” His brother leveled him with a don’t-fuck-with-me look. “About your battle buddy. I did know she was sleeping around. Do you…were you,” he lowered his voice, “tested?”
“Yeah, already got the results. I’m clean, and I always wrapped it up. So no kids either.”
Unlike him, Logan hadn’t suffered as badly from the mumps, and since they had talked about the consequences, he knew his brother wasn’t sterile. It was something that Luke knew his twin felt guilty about, but it wasn’t anyone’s fault, least of all Logan’s.
“Good. But if you need anything else, I’m your doctor.”
“Thanks.” Logan stood, not bothering to finish the muffins left on his plate. “My plane leaves soon. I need to get to the airport.”
“Need a ride?”
“That would be good.”
Luke stood and gave his brother a hug, uncaring of who was watching. They had grown up in an affectionate family, so neither of them had a problem with public displays of it. “I’m sorry it happened, but I’m not sorry you finally found out. It was eating me alive.”
“At least you don’t feel like the biggest dumbass in two states,” Logan said as he stepped back.
“It’ll get better,” Luke said.
“Time heals all wounds and all that shit?”
“No. It doesn’t heal anything, but realizing that you are not at fault, that you had nothing
to do with how she lied to you, will. Don’t let this scar you so badly that you won’t open yourself up to someone new…when the time comes.”
“Good grief. I really wish you weren’t in a relationship right now,” Logan muttered.
“C’mon. Let’s get you to the airport, so you can start drinking before you get on the plane.”
“They might not let me on if I do that,” Logan said.
“Then you’ll have to call me to pick you up, and you’ll be forced to spend time in my company,” Luke said.
“Thanks, brother,” Logan said, his brown eyes as serious as anything. “I mean it. Thank you.”
Normally, his brother was the jokester of their family, so for him to be so serious…Corinne must have ripped his heart out. God, he hoped that woman didn’t ruin his brother for life. It was a slippery slope to go down.
But maybe a miracle would happen. It was close enough to Christmas, so anything was possible. Even with him and Lily.
“That’s what brothers are for.”
Chapter Twelve
‡
It was the perfect Saturday morning; they sat on the sofa and watched A Christmas Story. It wasn’t what they had done for their first Christmas together, and that made it all the more special. Each day, they were making new memories, figuring out new traditions, and on Monday, they would go to his parents’ house to eat Christmas Eve dinner.
Luke ran a hand through his hair. “It’s Logan.”
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Not really. I mean, it’s a good thing he found out, but…he’s not taking it very well.”
“Taking what very well?”
“He caught Corinne with another man—his battle buddy, no less.”
Her heart went out to her brother-in-law. “He has to feel so betrayed by all the lies. I can’t imagine the pain he must be in.”
“Apparently, he’s off to Vegas, for reasons known only to God.”
“Maybe Willow will see him.”
Luke turned to her, surprise written all over his face. “She’s out there?
She nodded. “Yeah, she didn’t come to boot camp Wednesday, and Denise said it was because Willow was traveling to Vegas for a wedding planners’ convention.”
“Didn’t know they had those.”
She grinned. “Me either. Maybe it was code for wild weekend with a bunch of guys.” But with the little she knew and remembered about Willow, she very much doubted the younger woman would be doing anything of the kind.
“Well, in any case, I doubt my brother will run into her. Las Vegas is a huge place, and he plans to get drunk and spend money on strippers.”
“Nice.”
“Scary.”
“You didn’t do that?”
He shook his head. “Nope. You know how I am about germs and when they’re on stage, not a lot of hand washing goes on. All that money.” He made a face. “I can’t even eat at buffets, Lily.”
“I know. Oh gosh, I know. Bless your germaphobe heart.”
“Hey, germs in controlled situations like hospitals and doctors’ offices, I can handle.”
“No argument from me on that front. Besides, we all have our little quirks.”
“Like your irrational fear of otters?”
“They are not cute,” she said adamantly, her skin starting to crawl. “They have claws, and teeth, and swim up to you while you’re minding your own business.”
“Otters don’t haul off and bite people for no reason.”
“But what if an otter had a reason and I happened to be there?” She gave him a serious look. “He would bite me.”
Laughing, he said, “I can’t even argue with that logic.”
Sticking her tongue out at him, she took his laptop and set it to one side. “Let’s talk about other things that aren’t otters or germs.”
“Like what?”
Holding a sprig of mistletoe over them, she smiled and said, “Like this. You’re okay with kissing me, even though I’m holding something very poisonous. Perhaps even filled with germs?”
“It’s a controlled situation,” he said.
“Oh really?” She nibbled on his neck a little before grabbing his earlobe between her teeth. He let out a ragged groan, his hands coming to her waist. “Sounds like you’re getting out of control to me, Doctor.”
He flipped her onto her back. She dropped the mistletoe. “Nope, I’m in complete control.” Giving her a wicked smile, he lowered his head and made her come undone.
*
A few hours later, they finally made it to the Christmas tree farm and found the perfect one. Now it stood in their living room while they decorated it with ornaments and candy canes, though Lily kept accidentally on purpose breaking them so she could eat them.
He was highly suspicious, mostly because of the way she licked the entire length of each one before sucking on the tip.
“I could give you something bigger,” he said with a wink.
“I’m practicing for later.” With one finger, she slid the candy cane deeper into her mouth.
He swallowed. “Holy shit, that’s hot.”
With a flourish, she pulled the candy cane out and bit down on the end, chewing it up with great relish.
“Yeah, I’m not a fan of that part.”
Laughing, she fell on the sofa. “Can we take a break?”
“Sure.” He sat down beside her while she searched YouTube. “What are you looking for—Christmas music? We can use Spotify or Pandora for that, if you want.”
“Hush your mouth about those modern contraptions. I want old episodes of Dr. LA in Miami,” she said, pressing play on episode three.
The theme song began to play, along with a quick montage of the cast. “Look at you,” she said, “You’re practically a baby. A hot baby surrounded by hot nurses. Wow.”
“Are you sure we should watch this?”
She gave him a look. “One, I’m a big girl who can handle this. Two, you gave me a bunch of orgasms earlier today—hmm, maybe that should have been number one—anyway, this is in the past. I can enjoy the show for what it’s worth, right?”
“Sure,” he agreed, but a lead ball dropped right in the center of his gut.
One of the younger interns walked in, becoming completely tongue-tied as an older doctor examined an attractive woman’s bare chest—thank God it was that guy doing the examination and not him.
Lily giggled, and then froze.
“What’s wrong?” Immediately, he began to check her for signs of choking, thinking she must have swallowed a piece of candy cane wrong.
She batted his hands away and shoved the laptop to one side, then stood, covering her mouth with one hand.
A great sob left her.
“Should I turn this off?” he asked, then shook his head. “What a stupid question. Of course, we should turn this off.”
“Don’t,” she snapped, and he turned his attention back to her. “Don’t you dare. I want to see everything that was more important than us.”
“You remember,” he said, misery making that lead ball weigh a million pounds.
“You left me in New York, all alone,” she said, her eyes narrowing to slits. “You left me for some stupid reality television show in Miami.”
“I asked you to come with me,” he said.
She shook her head. “You ordered me, and when I didn’t jump to do your bidding, you told me you didn’t care if I came or not. Then just sent me some stupid email about an apartment.” Betrayal flashed across her face. “How could you say that? How could you abandon me?”
“Because I was an asshole,” he admitted. “An arrogant asshole who was tired of being poor and having to choose between eating and a roof over my head each month. I was wrong not to come back for you.”
That took some of the righteous anger out of her, but not much. Oh no. Her chin tipped up, turning stubborn. Turning her into the girl he used to know.
“You are such a…” she began, and he braced h
imself for the onslaught. With a shake of her head, her lips smashed together.
He watched as she transformed from that girl into the woman he loved and took a deep breath before speaking again. “I appreciate the apology, but to me, it feels like it just happened—the memory of it hurts so bad that I want to scream at you and puke at the same time because I’ve let you back in. Oh God, I slept with you.”
Fuck everything to hell and back. “Then scream at me,” he said. “Puke…whatever you want. I’m a doctor, it won’t disgust me. You don’t disgust me.” Damn it. Their conversation was all off the rails and he had to refocus it. “Look, we didn’t just sleep together. We made love, repeatedly, and if I had to do it all over again, I would. You are my life, and I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out. So yell, scream…break things if you want. I will hold you, or not touch you at all…whatever you need—just don’t shut me out.”
Her chin dipped a little, her pretty eyes blazing, yet her expression was one of sadness and regret. “But it would be for nothing. I’m not that girl anymore. I haven’t felt like her for a while now. I don’t react to things the same way anymore, and I refuse to go down that old path.”
“That’s great, and I’ve changed too.”
She smiled sadly. “But you’re still a part of that old path for me.”
“What about last month, before the wreck, do you remember that? What we said? What you wanted? Any of it?” he asked.
Slowly, she shook her head. “No. All I remember is moving back here and buying Dance to the Beat—after that is still a blank for me.”
“What does that mean for us?” He already knew the answer but had to hear it from her.
She licked her lips. “It means you need to go because I can’t trust myself around you right now. You have no idea what this feels like—I’m in love with you. God, I’m in love with you, but the past… it’s ugly, painful, and apparently, I haven’t moved on from it.”
Actually, he knew exactly how she felt because he felt the same fucking way. “Damn it, Lily. Don’t do this.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “Take a look at all the memories we’ve been making. Take a look at this room, at the tree, the ornaments…we’re wearing ugly sweaters for God’s sake because we’re going to an ugly sweater party at Heath and Haven’s. Who does that but couples?” He was desperate, grasping at straws, but he could see her withdrawing from him as the seconds flew by.
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