She pulled away, suddenly.
“What is it?” Shiro asked. “Is it terrible?”
“No, it’s nice,” she said honestly, biting her lip. “I’m just not quite sure about it. So much has been happening.”
“I’ve wanted you for so long, Holly.”
“Yes, I’ve felt something similar. But—we’re on a team together. We rely on each other. I have your back, you have mine.”
“Then, isn’t it perfect in some way?”
“I would think yes, but in other ways, no. I’m also looking out for Odeon, and he has to look out for you.”
Shiro sat back with a frown. “Odeon is always coming between us.”
“See? That’s exactly what I mean. I love Odeon, like a brother. And I can’t worry that you won’t have his back on our jobs.”
“These sound like excuses, Ms. Drake. Or fear. Fear of the unknown.”
She bristled at that. He was right. But she was also right. The truth was answers were rarely easy. The correct course of action very rarely seemed to divide from the wrong in a simple straight line. There was overlap. That was what made it so hard to decide. A person had to choose and stick to it despite the way the edges frayed.
“I won’t argue that, Shiro. But there are many people involved and because I’m unsure what I want, I don’t want to run around damaging the things I’ve built,” she confessed. “Besides, I know one very damning reason I don’t want to get my heart mixed up in you.”
He sat back and looked at her, frustration in his face, irritation clouding his normally clear, brown eyes. “What is that?”
“You know what I’m going to say.”
“Don’t be so sure.”
“Voss. While she remains an unknown variable for you, you’ll never be settled that she couldn’t be yours.”
He patted her leg, then stood, and put the watch in his pocket. “Thank you so much for this. It’s a gift without measure.” He put on his hat, his coat, and grabbed his cane.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad I finally gave it to you.”
“I’m glad as well.”
Holly watched him go to the door, feeling a cold in her heart to rival the cold outside.
“Then I shall see you tomorrow at the Bird’s Nest.”
She stood and followed him to the door. An urge to say something to smooth things over built behind her teeth. She opened her mouth to say whatever would come out, but she stopped herself. There was nothing. The only thing she could say would make it worse, would be an offer to rethink her decision to take things further with him. She was right about what she’d chosen. It was a lonely place to find herself—putting her crew before her personal desires. But being the leader meant hard decisions like that.
15
Time with “Dave” was always a fun way to spend part of her day.
Training with Aeolionaias was earlier, because the morning spot opened when Cosma called and canceled for reasons still unknown to Holly. So she found herself sauntering around Dave’s office earlier than planned and feeling irritable as she contended with the annoyances that were getting to her regarding the night before. And though she didn’t want to admit it, the aether whip training was kicking her butt and that bothered her. She was sore all over.
“Will you help, then,” Holly asked, trying to move the conversation in the right direction.
“No drink today, Holly?”
“I’m too burned out. Beat up. I don’t feel like indulging, sorry.”
“It’s never fun to drink alone,” Dave said mournfully, looking down into his tumbler of golden brown liquid. He slipped one thumb beneath a suspender, changed his mind and leaned it against the frame of the window to prop himself up, and sipped his drink.
“I agree. But I have too much on my mind. Someday maybe all my troubles will go away, you’ll be able to out yourself as the puppet-master, I can tell everyone your real name, and we can have a real drink at a pub together.”
He laughed and shook his head, giving her a sidelong glance. “A school in the north, eh. It’s more of an orphanage, isn’t it?” He returned his stare to the city beyond the window. “Snow. Always feels so comforting. The way it blankets everything and muffles sound. I would think, though, that the good old Centau would’ve figured out a way with their magical science powers to avoid irritating seasons like winter. Don’t you think?”
“I haven’t actually. It’s what it is. Winter, spring, summer, fall. They’re just there.” There was a symmetry to the seasons anyway, she thought. “Are they something that can be done away with?”
“You’d have to ask the Centau.”
“I’ll leave that to you. You ought to ask them, since you know so many.”
“I heard that.” He swirled the ice in his drink.
“What?”
“The implied ‘since you’re in bed with so many of them.’”
Holly crossed her arms and took a few steps away from the window to lean back against his desk. “I’d never accuse you of that, Dave. It’s your political diplomacy and negotiation skills that have allowed us to accomplish so much. Plus, you know, the fact that you’re OK with it.”
“Ah, Holly, my dear, the world isn’t black and white. I know you know that. You have firsthand experience with it, and life is a cruel teacher. Some of us learn the hard way. That is one thing you and I have in common.”
“I don’t think Elan wants to call it an orphanage, and I agree with him. School accomplishes several things. They’d have room and board. If the child has parents who did the shitty thing of selling them to the Shadow Coalition, the child will be allowed to see their parents under supervision. But they’ll never be betrayed again, like they were when their parents sold them. So, these are the most troubled kids. Elan wants to do it in a serene location. He’ll have intervention style teachers working with the kids to help them manage their trauma and find some kind of peace.”
“I like it, though I have some reservations. If I hadn’t been impacted by the Shadow Coalition, I may not be so understanding. So, you and your friend Elan can be grateful that I’m trying to give my son back his trust in the world.”
“How is Malcolm?”
“Doing better. He still has nightmares, but what child doesn’t? I would ease them for him if I could. I blame myself, Holly.” He shook his head, turned away from the window and put his tumbler down on his desk.
“Life is brutal.”
“You’re right. We all have scars. Some are worse than others.”
His statement seemed to be loaded with more weight than necessary, and she studied him. “You know all mine.”
“I know.”
She hunched her shoulders defensively. “I’m getting over it.”
“Don’t let it keep you isolated, Holly,” he offered, putting his hands into his pockets.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, bristling.
“Exactly what it sounds like.”
“I’m the leader of a crew. The position is naturally isolating,” she said, suspicious that he somehow knew what had happened the night before. It felt unnerving.
“I can understand that. However, not every eligible bachelor in the moon system is on your crew.” He laughed. “But, back to your question. I will find some donors to fund more of the school. Perhaps we can set up a trust that will allow them to have an operating budget every year.”
“Thank you.”
“Is there anything else you need beyond that?” He glanced at his communicator. “I have another meeting in an hour and the commute time is twenty minutes.”
“One more thing, yes. I’m going to take out the Heart. So, if you know anything that will help me, now is the time to tell me.”
“I see,” he said, drawing up short.
“That’s it? You have nothing else?”
He shrugged. “Nothing much, no.”
Holly studied him. “Do you know anything about the Heart? Do you know who he is?”
; “I do not.”
“Solid answer. But I don’t believe you. I know you know something, and I know it could help me.”
He made a hmmm sound and busied himself arranging items on his desk, walking away from her, around the desk to tinker with a wooden sculpture of a fish leaping out of a wave. He straightened it, lining up the edge of it with the straight edge of the desk.
“No answer. Suspicious. Who are you protecting?” She probed, refusing to let it go.
“You,” he countered, looking up at her, his blue eyes intense.
Holly blinked. That wasn’t the answer she’d been expecting.
“The Heart is dangerous, Holly. I’m not sure if the mission you’re on is worth it. Let the Heart drift into obscurity. You’ve done damage to the organization. Crippled it beyond repair. That should be enough. Now let it go.”
“It’s not. It isn’t enough and I can’t let it go. I was attacked in my cabin on the Copper Nebula zeppelin. Shadow Coalition ships stole that tanker full of hydrantium that we used to move the kids. And then I saw more SC ships on Itzcap and had a run in there with a couple members. They’re still out there. They won’t let up till I’m dead. I intend to strike them before they finish me.”
He seemed surprised by these revelations and he mulled it over.
“You see? It’s not just me being stubborn. They’re also stubborn. And I’m tired of more powerful people trying to control me.”
“I have heard whispers that something will be happening on Paradise. But I’m not sure how accurate that is. For all I know, it’s a cover for something happening somewhere else. You’ve seen them on Itzcap, so either might be a good start. If you go after them, be sure to finish the job, Holly. They won’t let you off so easily if you continue to kick at the hornet’s nest.”
16
“You guys know I just can’t leave the club all the time for any little lead that comes along off-moon. I mean, come on. One of us has to be responsible and keep the power on and the place warm for all your hot little bodies when you’re not off flitting around the moon-system.” Charly held a portable v-screen in her hand and strutted around the Bird’s Nest as Odeon busied himself with a drum, loosening the head screws. The head itself was torn.
“I’m always here, Charly,” Darius said. “I can hold the fort down.”
Charly’s gaze flicked over to him, a hopeful look flitting across her features before it was replaced with doubt. Holly saw it, but the rest of the team missed it. “Thanks D, but you’re on comms. Managing all the hackery shit. I can leave it sometimes with Torden, but that gets old quickly, especially considering how often something off-moon comes up.”
Holly made a placating gesture with her hands. “We’re a team. Your reasons for staying behind are valid.”
“Here, here,” Shiro agreed loudly. He’d been avoiding Holly’s gaze since they’d all arrived in the Bird’s Nest that afternoon. Holly could hardly blame him. The rejection, which was likely how he felt it, was still fresh. She had no problem looking at him. She was certain she’d done the right thing.
Odeon continued to manipulate the drum, working intently. “Everything I found, including speaking to Le Tissier, points to Paradise.”
“That was my findings as well, chap,” Shiro said.
“It’s all over the networks. Buried beneath encryption, but it’s there. Kind of as though an SOS went off, sending all the scattered SC members to a location on Paradise,” Darius agreed.
Holly nodded. “With this much all pointing to Paradise, I have a feeling it’s a bit of a trap or a cover. Anyone else get that sense?”
“Precisely,” Shiro answered without making eye contact. He studied the lion head on his cane instead, rubbing his thumb repeatedly across the gaping maw and the surprisingly detailed teeth. “It’s clearly meant to lure in anyone who has a beef with them.”
“Yes, Drake, I agree with you both.”
“But what choice do we have other than to go check it out to make sure?” Odeon asked, finally removing all the screws and pulling the torn head off.
“No joke. I can almost guarantee that it’s just a trap. So, stay here and let’s move on the statue job,” Charly offered. “How’s that sound?”
“That job will hold, Charly. This one won’t. For as many times we’ve all been nearly killed, wouldn’t you love to be done with that?” Holly asked her old friend, standing with her arms akimbo. “If we didn’t check, I’m sure it would turn out to be the real locale, and then we’d miss our opportunity.”
“Grrrr, fine!” Charly threw her spare hand in the air, the other still busy with the v-screen. “I have two catered events coming up, anyway. You guys plan it. I’ll sit here and finish the orders.” She plopped herself in her desk chair and began working with a frustrated expression clouding her visage.
“The statue job is next. You’ve been working on the intel, right?” Holly asked, sort of hoping to cheer Charly up.
“Don’t worry about it—I have it under control. And yes, I have cameras staking out the location. We’re just waiting for a party there. Sometimes the rich owner puts on costume galas. He’s some weirdo that likes to do cosplay. Old world shit.”
That niggled at Holly’s mind, but she didn’t have time to focus on it. “Everyone else,” she said, spinning around to look at the rest of the crew. Odeon had stretched a new drum skin over the head and was replacing the ring. “Our options look like, what?”
Darius grinned. “Sorry Drake—you’re not going to like our options.”
“Head to Paradise.” Shiro said it quietly, still intently focused on the head of the lion.
“Anyone want a drink?” Holly asked, hoping to lighten the mood. The crew had never seemed so at odds with each other. It was like they were stir crazy, and ready to bite each other’s heads off.
“No thanks, Drake. I’m all jittery as it is,” Darius turned to his bay of v-screens. “Let me find passage to Paradise. It’s going to be subpar accommodations, you know. That’s how it is with Paradise.”
“I guess Trip is still out?” Holly queried. “Anyone heard?”
“Right. We chatted earlier. She mentioned she’s seen quite a few SC tattoos around the Itzcap space platform,” Darius said, interacting with the screen as he spoke.
“Good to know. What I think we’ll be figuring out is if the Paradise lead is shit, or valid. If not, then we either look deeper into Itzcap or write the whole Ixion-blasted thing off. In fact,” Holly said, reconsidering. “Darius, I’m going to ask you to keep your net wide on Itzcap. See if anything else comes out on that front.”
“Of course, Drake, already doing it.”
Odeon finished tightening the screws on the drum head and tapped the new skin with a thump.
“So the statue job is what, then, not next?” Shiro asked, his voice dripping with disapproval.
“Still on the table. But we can’t just ignore that something is happening on Paradise. You were there with me, at Odeon’s grandmother’s.”
“Yes, I was, Ms. Drake. I saw everything you saw.”
“Then you agree?”
He tilted his head to one side, still avoiding her gaze. “Likely.”
“Then do you have an opinion about going to Paradise?”
“I think just the three of us going isn’t the best idea. Charly either needs to come, or Darius.”
“Negatory, good buddy. But thanks for tossing me under the wheels, Shiro,” Charly said, looking up. “I’ll be here, getting my hands deep into the machinations of the elite, my ear to the ground, pulling the puppet strings on the Centau.”
Holly laughed.
“Yeah, Shiro, what do you think, that I can do my own machinations from a zeppelin?” Darius shook his head. “I need to stay here at HQ.”
“Then we need someone else. Seems our muscle finds a lot of convenient ways to avoid doing her job,” He glared at Charly. “There are others available, perhaps, who can fill in her space, to even up the numbers.”
Holly bit her lip, almost certain Shiro was about to proffer Voss as a substitute.
Shiro grinned to himself as he continued to focus on the lion head. “I know someone. She’s good.”
“I knew it,” Holly said with a sigh. She shook her head. “You got your intel from her.”
“Voss isn’t welcome on the crew,” Odeon muttered.
“Fine, then Scotch. Iain Grant. Besides, I wasn’t going to say Voss.”
“Right. That’s why you said, ‘she.’” Charly chuckled. “A tiger can’t change its stripes.”
Holly felt her guts surge at the mention of Iain. “Shiro, did you get your intel from Voss? About Paradise?”
“Iain is a decent fellow. Honorable. I’d accept him on the team for this scouting mission,” Odeon said. He began to tap a quiet, complicated drum beat on the drum.
Shiro continued to avoid Holly’s direct question. “Will you ask Iain, then, Ms. Drake? There is safety in numbers.”
Her ears burned, thinking about how he’d kissed her the night before and knowing that he’d likely either been with Voss earlier in the day or had communicated with her in some way. But he was her crew member, and nothing more. Even if he’d been more than that, she would never try to control who he saw outside of their time together. That smacked too loudly of the way Grafton had been.
“I’ll ask him. But he’s like Charly—runs a business. I’d be surprised if he agreed to it. If he can’t, perhaps Trip would be able to meet us there.”
“I’ve found passage for you three on one of the nicer zeppelins. Still not as posh as the ships that go to Itzcap. Let me know when you hear back from Iain and I’ll snag the fares.”
17
Holly hesitated outside Iain’s art shop. Her breath clouded in front of her face. The snows had finally ceased, but the air was frigid. She wore a Centau faux fur number, with lining around the hood and fur lining along the arms. The hesitation only lasted for a moment, and then she was opening the door and hurrying inside. Doubt was normal. But letting her doubts run her life wasn’t. Grant would be glad to see her and if he wondered at her intentions, let him.
The Colossus Collection : A Space Opera Adventure (Books 1-7 + Bonus Material) Page 77
