When I spin around, he looks at me for a long moment, studying my face, searching my eyes. I’m desperate for him to find the answers he’s looking for because I just want to make things right between us.
He finally speaks. “You need to explain. Make me understand how you could keep such a secret from me. Goddammit, Ellie. I took a chance on you. Tell me I wasn’t wrong.”
Tears spring to my eyes and pour down my face. I feel like someone is wringing my heart and it hurts like hell. I started the New York Flame to expose the secrets of the city’s socialites but never in a million years did I dream that I’d fall for one of them and that the blog that I poured my life into would be a dagger to his heart.
“I never meant to hurt you, Matteo. I started that blog because I was a hurt and angry teenager who was rejected by my father. I wasn’t good enough. I was a secret…The blog was a way to make people pay for being selfish bastards like my father.”
He glares at me. “Innocent people get hurt by that trash rag, Ellie. People I care about. Did you know that Madison refused to take a walk in her own neighborhood at one point because she was scared that her photo would end up in some gossip column?”
His words scorch my soul. “When I started the blog, I’d never met you. I never thought that I would. You were just one of them – some asshole, rich playboy who rolled around town breaking women’s hearts and getting away with it…And then, I met you. I tried to resist you, but the attraction was too strong…and then, I got to know you…and I fell in love. I swear to you, Matteo, ever since the first day we met, my blog has not published one story about you or your family –“
“Well, that’s great, Ellie. But it’s not just about the Morettis. It’s about every innocent person who’s private life ends up splashed across your website. They’re people, too. Just going about their business, trying to live their lives…And you prey on that.”
I’ve never felt so dirty in my life and there’s nowhere to hide from the judgmental glare of the man that I love.
“I didn’t mean to cause any pain,” I offer weakly in a low voice.
His cellphone buzzes and he glances at it. He pushes a sigh. “I’ve got to go,” he says raking his fingers through his hair.
I’m tempted to ask him if it’s Catalina reaching out to him. I want to know how Tilly’s doing and if I can see her.
But I know that that’s not a line I can cross with him.
Not now.
Maybe not ever again.
The thought wrenches my heart.
He starts towards the door and yanks it open. He throws me a look. It’s sad and forlorn, but most notably, it’s disappointed…He’s disappointed in me.
And then, he’s gone.
Chapter 31
My hand trembles as it hovers over the proverbial dotted line. Once I sign these documents, I’ll be a wealthy woman – sole owner of a billion-dollar enterprise.
But I never had an appetite for “rich” unless it was accompanied by a generous side order of “successful”. Inheriting my wealth from Elias Parker was never part of the plan and I silently curse my father and his untimely death for robbing me of the chance to make it on my own.
I wanted to succeed on my own merit and I wanted him to see me do it.
Life has a funny way of fucking with me.
I sign my name next to the sticky strip of yellow paper that says ‘sign here’ and flip through the countless pages of the documents on the table in front of me until all of the blank lines bear my signature.
I’m shaking on the inside. I glance to my right at the trio of lawyers who accompanied me to the offices of X-Care Tech today to finalize the purchase of the New Jersey laboratory by ToneWave. My eyes search for Matteo’s comforting stare but his eyes are like dark glass and his expression is stony.
When I glance across the table at him, he gives me his best neutral gaze. We’re both straining to act professional when there’s so much going on between us, right beneath the surface. I miss his touch. I feel cold without it and it’s surreal, being in the same room as him and pretending that we’re merely professional acquaintances, little more than strangers. I ache inside. Not being able to feel the heat of his body against mine.
The gray-haired man across from me rises to his feet, zapping me back to reality. “Congratulations, Ms. Parker,” he says extending his hand to me. “We’re so excited that your company has acquired ownership of this facility. We’re proud of it and we know that it will surpass your expectations.”
“It’s been a pleasure doing business with X-Care, Mr. Abbottson,” I say feigning excitement as I stand and reach for his hand.
I nod and exchange formalities with the rest of X-Care’s team before they file out of the room, one by one.
I chat briefly with one of the junior lawyers from Cartwright Moretti Stevenson about when my copy of the documentation will be couriered to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Matteo sauntering towards the door. I quickly excuse myself, telling her that I’d call her when I get back to my office.
“Mr. Moretti?” I say taking quick steps towards him.
He pauses, his back to me. He clears his throat and turns slowly on the ball of his foot. “Yes, Ms. Parker?” His tone is flat and vapid. Devoid of any sort of emotion.
I wait till the other lawyers have left the room and I am alone with Matteo.
“Yes?” he says impatiently tapping his toe against the dark carpet.
I swipe my tongue quickly across my bottom lip to buy a little time. “I – I was hoping we could talk.”
He twists his lips into a grimace as he scratches the side of his nose. “Unless it’s about your file, we really don’t have anything to talk about.”
My hand rises to his forearm. “Matteo – please don’t be like this. Give me a chance to explain.”
He takes a brusque step back and my hand falls away from him. “Ellie, becoming involved with you was a mistake. On many levels. It’s best for everyone involved if we put an end to this. Furthermore, I briefed the law firm’s management on the situation and the partners believe that there’s a grave conflict of interest that will impair our ability to continue to represent you. Cartwright Moretti Stevenson is desisting from your file. You’ll receive official notice to that effect by courier very shortly.”
The chill in his eyes runs right to my bones. He doesn’t wait for me to respond. He just takes two steps backwards before turning and walking away.
Chapter 32
I glance over at the elderly couple dining at the table next to us. The woman gives me a scowl before drawing her shawl tightly around her shoulders and dramatically snapping her head back in the direction of her husband.
The message is clear. She’s trying to have a nice lunch and I’m ruining it with my crying toddler.
“Tilly –” I whisper sternly. “Stop crying.”
I hate disciplining her. It makes me feel like the bad guy. She’s my little princess and I just want to make her smile all the time. I’ve been coddling her non-stop. I think that deep down, I feel guilty for the fact that Amelia just walked out of her life. I want to make it up to her, but now, I suspect that she’s manipulating me.
That’s how we ended up at this $100-a-plate restaurant at 2:00 in the afternoon sharing a $28 toffee crunch chocolate sundae. And now, she’s crying for another dessert. Catalina – who took the day off to deal with some family issues – would be hissing at me right now if she knew that Tilly was having ice cream a mere half-hour after her dentist’s appointment.
But anyway, my kid, my rules.
At least that’s what I have to tell myself to overlook the fact that I’m literally being bullied by my rambunctious three-year-old. I love Tilly, but she’s embarrassing the shit out of me right now.
I bet that god’s just punishing me for the way I treated Ellie the other day. I feel guilty as hell about that. I love the woman for chrissakes, and being harsh with her is killing me. I’ve picked up the phone a thousan
d times to call her over the past week. I even had my driver take me over to her apartment building but then, I punked out at the elevator and turned around and went home like a damn coward. I keep trying to remind myself that the woman betrayed me. Still, that fact doesn’t dull the longing that I feel for her.
I sweep my hysterical toddler out of her chair and up into my lap all while trying to flag down the waiter for that second bowl of ice cream. “C’mon, princess. Be a good girl for daddy.” She plain out ignores me, choosing instead to twist and squirm in my arms while bawling at the top of her lungs.
I grip her firmly around the waist and roll my eyes up to the ceiling. I feel a migraine coming on.
And then, all of a sudden, Tilly’s cries stop cold.
Confused, I glance down at her and find her staring at the breathtaking woman who’s offering her a bashful smile and a small wave as she makes her way out the door.
My heart catapults into my throat when I see Ellie, hair clipped back from her beautiful face and falling in waves down her back. She’s wearing the hell out of that blue dress she had on the first day I met her. I’ve never seen a body more perfect.
Before I can gather my thoughts, Tilly gallops out of my lap and dashes out the door after Ellie.
Chapter 33
My legs shake a little bit as I step out onto the sunny sidewalk. I stop in the shade of a tree and lean my weight against its trunk. My heart flutters wildly and I feel sweat beading down the back of my neck.
Of all the fucking restaurants in this city, why is it that Matteo decided to take Tilly to the one where I was supposed to meet with a potential advertiser for the blog today?
She’s as cute as a button, that little girl, even though she was throwing an epic tantrum. And Matteo, he’s one hot d.i.l.f. I wanted so badly to go over and talk to them, but Matteo has made it clear that he wants nothing to do with me.
I spin around quickly when I hear ruckus erupt just outside of the restaurant behind me. And here comes Tilly, tearing down the sidewalk. The maître d’ and Matteo are hot on her heels but she runs straight up to me and wraps her tiny arms around my legs.
“Ellie! Ellie!” she shrieks.
“Hi little angel,” I say, unwrapping her grip on my legs and stooping so we’re eye-to-eye.
The maître d’ stands off at a distance as Matteo stomps over to us. “Tilly – how many times do I have to tell you not to run off?” His tone is harsh but he looks exhausted.
The little girl looks up at her father. “Daddy! Daddy! It’s your friend, Ellie!” She tugs on the leg of his dark jeans.
He lets out an exasperated sigh. “I’m really sorry about this, Ellie. She just ran off –“
I hold up my palm to him. He doesn’t have to explain. Tilly isn’t a nuisance in the slightest. In fact, I like her a whole lot and seeing her – and him – has been the best part of an otherwise shitty day. “I don’t mind at all,” I say to him as I stand up and straighten the hem of my dress. I glance down at Tilly, “But you really shouldn’t run off, even when you see a friend.”
She gives me a sad pout. “You don’t come to my house anymore.”
Matteo clears his throat before crouching down to scoop her up onto his hip. “Tilly – Ellie’s very busy. That’s why she can’t come over any more.”
Tilly’s pout only grows deeper. “Come to my house. Nooooowwwww!” she pleads and it breaks my heart.
Matt repeats himself. “Honey – Ellie’s busy. She can’t come.”
The little girl whimpers into her father’s collar. “Daddy! I want Ellie to come play with me!” She turns to me with puppy dog eyes. “Pleeeeaaaaaasssssseeee!”
“I’ll come if your daddy says it’s okay.” I hear the words tumble from my lips.
Matteo glances over at me. “You really don’t have to, Ellie…”
“I want to,” I say, my throat suddenly tight. I’d do anything to get back into Matteo’s good graces. To show him that I’m not the monster he thinks I am.
Tilly wiggles her way out of her father’s arms and then, she’s holding my hand. “Let’s go, Ellie,” she says simply. “Let’s go play at my house!”
Chapter 34
I rock Tilly gently and sing to her until her tiny body goes limp against my chest, her soft snores falling into the curve of my neck. Matteo tiptoes across the living room and gently lifts her out of my arms. His fingers graze my stomach as he reaches for her and it takes every ounce of my floundering self-control to resist the urge to tremble all over.
As he carries her down the hallway to her bedroom, I stand up to stretch my legs. I catch a glimpse of my cellphone charging on the coffee table. Shit – I can’t believe it’s already 7:45.
Shit! The afternoon flew by. I got so involved in playing with Tilly that I didn’t even call in to the office to make sure that everything was okay. I comb my fingers through my disheveled hair and reach for my purse. I need to get home.
“Hey.” Startled, I glance back and see Matteo enter the room.
“Hey,” I say, rising to my feet and smoothing down the wrinkled fabric of my dress.
He stands there and just looks at me and I feel heat creep up my neck.
God – I’ve missed this man.
“I – I should leave,” I stammer, struggling to fill the awkward silence.
“Yeah – yes, sure,” he says as he bends to scoop a rag doll off of the floor. He stands and takes a step closer to me. “Thanks for helping out with her today.”
I smile. “I didn’t mind at all,” I say in a small voice.
He scrubs his hand over his stubbly beard. I can see the fatigue in his eyes. “She’s been…difficult…lately. She’s still having a hard time adjusting to life without her mother and I don’t know what to do except spoil her rotten.”
“That’s probably normal,” I say. Being abandoned by your mother must be hard on a little girl.
Our eyes are glued to one another and for some reason I don’t quite understand, I find myself inching towards him. He’s doing the same.
He looks at me and there’s longing in his eyes, so close to the surface. And it’s as though every other detail in the room has melted away, leaving just me and him and the desire sweltering between us.
The power of his gaze is too strong, too searing. I have to close my eyes.
I feel tingles roll across my skin. He’s so tall. I feel tiny standing in his shadow, looking up into his face. And he’s standing close. Too close. I’m having a hard time breathing. The masculine scent of him is overwhelming to me. My body usually doesn’t react like this to a man. It’s his captivating brown eyes, his tempting sculpted jaw, his ripe lips.
Oh, I’m hit by an overwhelming urge to taste those lips.
His fingers leap to my neck and slide into my hair. He angles my face before his lips land softly on mine.
He kisses me slow. Like he wants to taste every bit of me. Like he would lick all the way to my soul if he could. His tongue steals into my mouth and sweeps against mine with suede strokes. I fist the front of his shirt and groan against his lips. His hands slide all over my body. I’m completely enveloped by his body, his force field, everything about him.
I don’t resist when his hands glide over my ass and hoist my legs around his waist. I let him carry me to his bedroom as the kiss grows in intensity. He locks the door behind him before setting me down in the center of the mattress. His mouth moves against my cheek, down the curve of my neck and then, it hungrily finds my lips again. Meanwhile, his hand slips under the hem of my dress and wastes no time pushing my panties aside. I kiss him with everything in me and my fingertips skim every ridge and groove of his chiseled body.
And my every kiss is an apology. My every touch is a plea. I pull on the silky strands of his hair and I’m begging him to forgive me. Let’s put this all behind us, that’s what my body is saying to his. His lips are vengefully rough against mine. The way his fingertips sink into my flesh is cruel. He has every right to exact punish
ment against me…I betrayed him.
And I want it to hurt. I deserve the pain. His fingers sink into my core again and again. He holds nothing back. He shows me no mercy. My every whimper is swallowed by his kiss, my groans muffled by his ravenous lips. My body jerks, it quivers. It succumbs to the pleasure and to the pain.
The orgasm absolutely devastates me. My whole world explodes into a deafening cacophony of colors and lights and sensations. His kisses are deafening. His touch blinds me. I’m drowning in the taste of him.
Nothing makes sense to my senses anymore.
Matteo Page 13
