“This is the Commons,” Cassie explained. “It’s a place for us to relax or unwind or just wait sometimes. It’s used by all the Patroni in our division.”
“And how many in our division?”
A small shudder ran from the top of my head to the tips of my toes hearing her speak. I answered her, happy to have her attention. “About three-hundred, give or take.”
The shiver that plagued me echoed on her skin, delighting me. I took a tentative step forward, not wanting to push but yearning to be close to her. Cassie moved back, and Lucy’s knees buckled slightly. I slid my arm around her waist and helped her to a black leather club chair, easing her into it.
She smiled, whispering a quiet “Thank you.” I sat next to her and reached to hold her hand like I had for months, before remembering that I was still practically a stranger to her and while the gesture was commonplace for me, it might freak her out a bit.
Amazingly, she too looked like she wanted to take my hand, but she paused before making contact and withdrew her hand to her lap and looked down sheepishly. Cassie plopped down in Adam’s lap, and he kissed her forehead. A small streak of jealously surged through me that he was able to be open about his feelings for her, while I had to hide my love for Lucy, which was practically bursting at the seams.
“I guess we should formally introduce ourselves. I’m James, and I’m the leader of our division.” Once again, I felt like a schmuck. I smiled and gave a small nod of thanks to James for picking up the ball I dropped. He winked at me and continued. “This is Adam, and you’ve already met Cassie.”
Adam nodded hello, keeping a tight grip on Cassie’s waist before James turned to me. “And finally, Max, the miscreant of our crew.” James chuckled at his own joke. The dick! Way to make me look bad in front of her. I threw a pillow at him and tried to subtly flip him the bird.
“Thanks for the great introduction, asshole!” Oh, he wanted to play dirty did he? He just better remember that payback was a bitch. He tossed the pillow back to me and laughed, enjoying ribbing me.
I’d had enough of his shenanigans, and turned back to Lucy. “Hi, Lucy,” I all but whispered. She flushed when I said her name, causing a smile to reemerge onto my face. A beautiful blush crawled up her neck and warmed her cheeks. I’d give anything to know what she was thinking in that moment.
“Hi, everyone,” she murmured. It was obvious that she was nervous. I’m sure we were overwhelming her and I hoped she was taking all of this in stride.
“I hope Cassie did some of the initial explaining for you, and I’m sure you still have a million questions. Being the leader of this division, feel free to come to me with anything you need to know, but really, any of us can probably answer your questions.” Cassie shot me a wink, knowing exactly who James was referring to and I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. “We’ll give you the day to settle in, and tomorrow begin the formal training for your new role.”
I mouthed “thank you” again to James, who used the keyboard on his bracelet to text me a reply that read, “You owe me!”
“Not a whole lot of adjustment time to this new life. That’s okay though, I’m anxious to learn what this is all about.” Lucy smiled as she spoke, overcoming her nervousness. It usually took people a few weeks to come to terms with their own deaths and be ready to dive into this life. I continued to be awed by this amazing woman.
“Wow. We honestly didn’t expect you to be this gung ho. How about a tour first and then I’ll show you to the Dwellings?” I’d give her a tour of every nook and cranny in this place if it meant spending more time with her.
A trail of goosebumps formed on her arms as her shoulders shook in a small shiver. I placed my hand on her arm, very gently rubbing it up and down. “Are you okay? Cold?” I pressed a button on my bracelet that indicated the temperature. It read a comfortable 74 degrees, so she shouldn’t be cold. Unless this was a side effect of our bond. I glanced over at her, and she was once again blushing as she bit her lower lip and kept her eyes down. Oh, yeah, this was a side effect all right. I felt like I won the Superbowl.
“Oh, um, I’m fine.” She stood quickly, and my hand automatically moved to the small of her back, gently guiding her down the hall. It felt so natural to be close to her like this. Like coming home.
Chapter Ten
I led Lucy through the Commons, taking the long way around. A few pesky friends stopped us in our path, asking for an introduction. They knew I’d been spending a lot of time in the hospital wing, and I could see them putting two and two together. I sent them silent pleas not to bring it up; the last thing I needed were questions that I wasn’t ready to answer.
Things became much more uncomfortable when we were spotted by Ryan Crick. He was a notorious flirt, and I knew one look at Lucy and he’d try to get her to go out with him. I swung Lucy away from his direction, instead heading toward the library room. But it was too late, we’d been spotted. The prick almost took off into a jog to catch up with us, but smoothed his stride once he got close.
I let my arm slip protectively around Lucy’s waist, giving him a clear signal that she was off limits.
“Hi there, it’s so great to see a new face. I’m Ryan.”
“Hi, I’m Lucy.”
Ryan held out his hand, but when she slid hers in to shake it, he twisted and brought hers up to his lips instead.
I had to bite my cheeks from screaming the thoughts that entered my head, but wasn’t able to contain the growl. Lucy looked at me questioningly, and politely let go of his hand, taking a step back toward me.
My shit-eating grin now said it all. Ryan’s eyes narrowed momentarily, but he recovered quickly and again addressed Lucy. “I’m very pleased to make your acquaintance. If you should ever need the grand tour of this realm, just let me know. I’d be happy to take you. The campus can be quite lovely in the moonlight.”
Every muscle in my body went rigid. I technically had no claim on Lucy, but the jackass could clearly see we were together in this moment. My fists balled at my sides. Lucy’s arm brushed against mine. I don’t think she even realized she was leaning closer to me.
“Thanks, Ryan, for the offer. But Max is giving me a tour right now. I’ll see you around though.” She gave him a little wave and began to walk away, unprompted. I wanted to pump my fists in the air victoriously, but I settled for a smug smile and a little “how’d you like them apples” wink at Ryan. I made a mental note to set him straight the next time we were alone—by whatever means necessary—and turned to catch up to Lucy.
I couldn’t keep my eyes off her as we made our way through each of the activity rooms. I loved watching her eyes light up when she’d see something she liked and realized that this new world had a lot more to offer than she first expected. I leaned in, never one to miss an opportunity to get close to her, and whispered, “It’s not all work. We have lots of time to have fun.”
The sweet blush that she seemed to get whenever I’d talk to her made me want to continue talking, just to see it again. “The Commons has lots of things to do when we’re not busy protecting a spirit.”
She paused for a second, placing her hand on my chest. I nearly groaned. “Okay, let me see if I’ve got this straight. We’re no longer human?”
“Correct.”
“But we can still eat, sleep, watch TV, and we have to go to work? Do we get paid?”
“No, we don’t get paychecks because there’s no need for money here. We never go without and are given what we need or want within reason. And yes, we can still eat, sleep, and watch TV. You need to remember we were all human once. It’s in our comfort zone to continue to do these things. We don’t need much food or sleep to sustain us, but we still enjoy those things. We only take small naps rather than sleeping eight hours or more a night.”
“And how long have you worked here?” Her body unconsciously swayed closer to me, and I had to take a step back to keep enough distance so I wouldn’t reach out and kiss her like I wanted to.
“About a hundred and thirty-five years. I was one of the newest additions to the team before you came along.”
She gasped. “One hundred and thirty-five years?! You’ve been here that long? How long do we live?”
“We can live forever. But there are a few things that can kill us.” I tried to explain our origins, leaving out a few of the grittier details. It amazed me how quickly she accepted everything like it was the natural next step. I wondered if it had anything to do with our connection. I hoped it was helping to put her at ease. Most new recruits needed at least a few days to let the fact that they died sink in, let alone that wealth of information she was being bombarded with now.
“Okay, enough business.” She turned and her arm brushed against mine. My muscles tightened at her touch. It took all my willpower not to pull her closer still. “Tell me more about you.”
I’d been dreading this question. I mean, I knew it would be natural for her to ask, but what exactly was I supposed to say? I couldn’t tell her about our connection, and I certainly didn’t want to bring up my human life. It was a sticky situation. I wanted to be honest, but couldn’t say what I really wanted to tell her. That I loved her. That we belonged together. “There’s not much to tell.” I couldn’t meet her eyes, afraid she’d see the truth behind them. I shuffled my weight from one foot to the other.
“Oh come on, there’s got to be something to tell me,” she urged. “Where did you live before you died? What did you do for a living?”
I sighed in relief. Okay, these questions I could handle. “I was a teacher. A professor actually. I taught anthropology at Florida State University. That’s where I lived.”
Her eyes lit up, and she sighed in relief. Hmm, what did she think I was going to say? “It was a different time, and I completed my studies earlier than most. I finished secondary school at sixteen and finished University by twenty. I was lucky enough to receive a grant to continue my education and was working on my PhD while teaching.”
“That’s…” she paused. I tried to gauge what she was thinking from her expressive face, but she continued before I could make it out. “Really impressive. When did you teach there?”
“I became a professor in 1877 when I was twenty-two, just a few years after the University opened. I taught for a year and a half before I died.” Oh. Crap. I cringed, realizing I completely opened the door for her to ask me about my death, and I did not want to go there.
“Is your death too painful to talk about?” She bit her lip and scrunched up her face and I had no choice but to stare at her. All my body was capable of doing was to stare as waves of desire shot through me. My eyes found and locked on hers as I gazed directly into their depths. I had never in all my existence experienced anything like it. Our connection hummed like electricity in the air and in my lungs whooshed out. Neither of us moved, or breathed, or blinked for several minutes. I wanted her—all of her.
But not like this. I glanced up at the ceiling to collect myself before speaking again. “My death is still a sore spot for me. I know everyone has a story and I should just get over it, but it’s still raw, even after all these years.” Understatement, but I continued. “I’ll tell you about it someday. And I’m sure you’ll be hearing plenty of ‘my death was worse than your death’ stories after you’ve been here long enough. Find David Stone, his death is wild.” And he loved to talk about it, so I knew it might satisfy her curiosity.
“Oh, of course. I’m sorry to pry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
My fingers twitched to touch her, reassure her. “Please don’t worry. I didn’t take offense. But I will tell you this, I had an amazing life. I loved everything about it and leaving it and accepting that I couldn’t change things was really hard. I love being a Patronus now, but for many years, if given the choice, I would have gone back.” I placed my hand on the small of her back. “But things are different now. I am happy and things are working out well with my afterlife.” Well wasn’t the best word. Amazing, fantastic, un-freakin-believable—those would have made better choices.
“So, teaching was that great? I always gave my teachers some grief—turning in papers late or making smart remarks in class.” She smiled, as if remembering, and it lit up her face. “My teachers were always calling home and telling my parents what a pain in the ass I was. My guidance counselor told me once I didn’t need a second language because I was already fluent in English and Sarcasm! I was just too stubborn for my own good.” She was really downplaying how well she did, and I wondered if my teaching was the reason. I didn’t ask and let her continue. “College was great, though I wish I could have finished. I was just about to graduate when I died.”
Ah! Finally some good news I could give her. “They awarded you your degree posthumously. I checked while you were still transitioning.”
“Oh wow, awesome! Gee, I hope they didn’t try to stick Mom and Dad with the bill. How much would that suck, having to pay for your dead daughter’s degree that she couldn’t even use?”
I smiled at her dark sense of humor. “I’m pretty sure they make allowances for these kinds of things.” We walked a bit further, and I never removed my hand from the small of her back. It felt so natural to do so, and she didn’t seem bothered by it. Maybe our bond wouldn’t scare her as much as I feared. I very slowly moved my hand from her back and slid it along her waist, testing her reaction. Her eyes half-closed and she smiled, so I continued touching her, running my fingers lightly over the skin just below the hem of her shirt before sliding down her arm until I lightly held her hand.
We both sighed. “Here we are.” My voice was much huskier, so I swallowed before continuing. “This is your and Cassie’s Dwelling. She’s been looking forward to getting a roommate for oh, at least fifty years, so I know you’ll get along just fine.” My thumb traced her index finger, just slowly back and forth as we stood in silence for a minute. I wasn’t ready to leave her, but I knew she’d need time to settle in and decompress. “I’m in room 490 upstairs if you need anything.”
I paused, taking a deep breath while I tried to talk myself in to letting her go for the night. It was best for her, but I was a selfish bastard and wanted more. Her eyes slid shut, and her full pouty lips pursed ever so slightly, like she wanted me to kiss her. Was I just imagining this? It seemed too good to be true.
“I may be biased, but I think being a Patronus is one of the best things that can happen to you once you die.” Because it brought me to you, I thought. “We live very similarly to our previous lives—we can laugh, play, and even…” I swallowed hard as I gazed longingly into her eyes. “Love.”
I love you! It’s you I love! I wanted to shout, but I refrained. My heart nearly stopped when she stretched up on her toes to get closer to me. All function above my waist was suddenly rendered moot as blood flow was no longer heading north. I could not let her see me like this. “I mean, look at Cassie and Adam, they’re the perfect couple.”
It was a terrible effort to hide not only my reaction to her, but my feelings for her as well. I’m sure one look would have given everything away, but I was saved.
Cassie flung the door open, causing Lucy to lose her footing and fall to the floor. I reached for her, scooping her in my arms before she crash landed. Cassie shot me a dirty look, and I wondered how long she’d been watching us. “There you are! I was beginning to think that Max was trying to keep you all to himself.”
She smiled smugly at me and winked when Lucy didn’t see. Oh, I’m gonna strangle her, I mused. She’s a dead woman. Um, a more dead woman. Is she trying to make me squirm? I couldn’t stand there shooting daggers at Cassie, especially not with Lucy looking quizzically between us. “I guess this is goodnight.” I paused for a second, hoping Cassie would at least let us say goodnight in private. But she just stood there, smirking. Yepp, gonna kill her. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well.”
I gave her fingers one more squeeze before begrudgingly turning and walking away. I reached the end of the hall and gave
the now-closed door one final glance. As hard as it was leaving her, I couldn’t be too sad. Today was only day one of our lives together. And we had the rest of eternity for only us. I couldn’t wait.
Acknowledgments
As always, there are never enough words to truly explain how grateful I am for everyone who helped on this journey. There is no way I’d be here without you. I am blessed.
Thank you to my family (Mom, Steve, Jessica, Ryan, Gram, Lexi, Teresa, and everyone else)— I love you all to the moon and back.
Nichole Chase— You are amazing. You blow my socks off with your awesomeness daily. Thank you for everything!!!
Donna Dull—Your covers continue to amaze me with how beautiful they are (just like you!) Thank you for putting up with me and my millions of “well what if we just…”
Kristina Circelli—Thank you so much for all of your input and suggestions and for polishing my work until it’s flawless. The suggestions, like you, were brilliant.
Tawdra Kandle—No matter how many times I teach grammar, I still get it wrong. Thanks for being there with your handy red pen to make my work shine.
Julie Titus—Your kindness and generosity never cease to amaze me. Thank you for everything!!
Heather Self—You, my friend, are fabulous and I can’t thank you enough for everything. Can’t wait to see you again soon!!
Special thanks to my street team: Derlinda Love, Brooke DelVecchio, Nanette Bradford, Cindy Barton, Mayra Arellano, Leslie Dover, Crystal Clifton, Ruthi Kight, Mera Sampson, Jenn Swiger, Rebecca Ross, Katy Austin, Jeanette Mays, MaryAnn Inabinet, and Amber Garcia
And finally, a big, sloppy, wet-kiss thank you to all my readers. I can’t do this without you, and if I could thank you all personally by name, I would. I am so grateful that you buy my books, recommend them to your friends, and write reviews for them so others can enjoy them too. I love you all to pieces! MUAH!
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