“The Spirus became lonely again. She would watch the human females with their mates and watch them have babies. She wanted this for herself, but she could not create another creature like her to make her a mate. So, she did something she would never have done before. She wanted to experience love like the humans with her now. When one of her maids was pregnant, she could sense that the baby inside her was dying. She let her body burn away and let her spirit enter the baby. She was born into the world a child and raised into a queen. She still had most of her gifts, but they had limits now because she was in a human body,” she said. The light now showed a faint human form and a flame entered its belly and then they both disappeared.
“She met her human mate, married, and gave birth to Essos. Some of the humans that had come to Inanos were wary of her now. They thought she had killed the baby and not saved it. Many of them left with their children to go back to the other humans. The Spirus’ mate could not handle having a special child like Essos, with some of his mother’s gifts and the gift of fire. He left her as well. Essos and the Spirus lived in Inanos with only a few humans and not many children for Essos to play with.
“The Spirus used her gifts again to create more animals for him to play with, but unlike before, she did not give them instinct. They only knew how to play. When Essos asked why there were not more children to play with, she gifted these toys the ability to look like Essos, should he choose for them to have this form. Essos could choose for them to be animal, or look like him. She created for him enough toys to fill Inanos so that there was something for him to play with no matter where he went.
“As Essos grew to his seventeenth name, the humans she created now thought the Spirus was dangerous. She never died and seemed to live on as the humans grew old and perished. They knew she had somehow occupied a child and now had a human form and could possibly be killed. They now thought she was evil and should die. When she heard word they were coming for her, she sent Essos far into the mainland with his toys. Before they left, she gifted his toys with human thought and animal instinct. She told Essos he could leave them as they were, where he chose their form, or he could use the gifts she gave him and let them chose now. Essos did not want to leave his mother, but left far into the woods where he couldn’t be found.
“When the humans came for her, the Spirus was tired. She had been here for so long and she had seen so many awful things from her creations. As much as she wanted to see Essos grow into a man, she also yearned for eternal quiet and a place where there was no fighting. She did nothing when the humans came and did not fight back when they shot arrows into her. She let her light leave this human body and no one saw her again, though Essos promised she would return one day to try to right the wrongs with her creations.
“She left a human and she came to my mother when she was pregnant with me because it was the only way she could come back. I still don’t know if I was dying and she came to my mother like when she first became human, or she came to my mother because of what my father was and who she is.
“Essos gave you all your culture and traditions and you have remained separate all this time, but you would be stronger if you had mixed among tribes instead of forbidding it and being scared of it. You may not have needed me to be this way if the four tribes came together and you all had several gifts like I do because you mixed. I’m supposed to bring several gifts to the tribes that you could have brought yourselves if you hadn’t thought it foreign and been afraid of it,” she finished. The ghostly figures she was making with the white light disappeared and the flame in her hand shot outward and lit all of the torches in the corridor.
No one spoke. Neptis couldn’t imagine being more than Tark and not being underwater all the time. He still didn’t understand why she only changed him to choose his form and not made him like her if they had supposed to have been mixing this entire time. She answered his question.
“I can’t change this many people to have more than one form. The only change I can make to this many people is that your children will no longer be locked into one form. They will be able to change like I do. I’m sorry I can’t gift you more, but even though I am who I am, I also have limits,” she said, flinging her hands in front of her.
Like before, when she was sitting and they couldn’t look at her, the light coming from her was too much and everyone had to either look away or close their eyes. When they all realized they could look at her again, everyone stood up slowly and appeared to be drunk, like she had been. They were looking for her because she was no longer standing before them as she was. Neptis made a move to go to her when he saw her crumpled on the floor, but Leodos made it to her first. Esylle was right by his side as he picked her up to carry her from the room.
Volaris and Terros came to his father, all talking at once. Terros was angry that she wanted to change who the Theran were as a tribe and Neptis was having trouble standing next to him. Volaris warned him to calm himself and asked him if he was listening at all while she was talking. Volaris argued that the only reason she was here was because Belisarus mated with a Tark and because of Leodos’ decision. Terros had been furious with her this entire journey trying to figure out why she came this way and he just got his answer.
Neptis couldn’t stand near Terros anymore because he was getting too hot. Even though Terros thought it was a bad idea, he was surprised when he moved away that three Theran girls were immediately trying to take his arm and were stroking his face. The Theran girls were very pretty, but he had grown to love Soryn and still wanted her to choose him. He left to find her room.
Leodos
Leodos did what he had done so many times since they arrived at Inanos; he carried her back to her chambers so she could sleep. Esylle seemed upset again and he didn’t know if something had happened while they were swimming or if she was upset she had fainted again. When he set her gently in bed, Esylle laid next to her and he got into bed next to Esylle and asked her what was wrong. She explained to him the argument they had gotten into after they came out of the water. He managed to get Lisana to talk to him after she woke up. She seemed to be more comfortable around him than Esylle. She told him why she had been acting the way she had, but getting it out of her was like pulling teeth. She pouted and told him she would rather tell this to Frog because he knew her better.
“I wish I knew what to say to her to not upset her all the time. She helped me underwater, but then I upset her again and she became the person I don’t like that she is becoming.”
He pulled her close to his chest and tried to explain to her what Lisana had told him. “She’s not becoming someone you don’t want. She’s not comfortable enough to tell you this yet, but she’s acting like this because she’s scared. When she woke up and saw you next to her dying, she didn’t want to lose you. She cares for you, it’s just new for her. She’s seen what happens when she loses control with her fire and this light is new for her. When she saw it nearly killed you, she doesn’t know what else it can do. She told me that the chair shows her what she is supposed to do and how to do it, but it doesn’t tell her anything about this light she has now and what else she can do with it.”
“Why can she tell you these things and not me? I’m her mother!”
“Think of how she grew up. She only had Belisarus and Frog to talk to. She’s coming to care for you, it will just happen in her own time like everything else with her. She doesn’t want any of this that she has learned since she came here. She’s only doing it because she knows she doesn’t really have a choice. Don’t force her to try to feel for you what you want while she’s already doing things she doesn’t want to do. Let it happen in her own time.”
“I try not to think about what she’s meant to do. I don’t mean to push her; I just want it so badly. I’m glad I finally got an answer today why she couldn’t just be my daughter, but I didn’t like hearing she may be this way because my child may have been dying. I’m hoping when they surprise her tonight with her name day feast, she
sees how much I care for her and she doesn’t react badly.”
He kissed her neck and told her after the fear she had been pushing down the past few days, he thought she would enjoy the feast and learning her name day. He just hoped she woke up in time. He didn’t need to worry about that. She gasped and sat up as soon as he warned Esylle she might not be awake for her celebration. She got out of bed slowly and despite their conversation, Esylle was trying to get her to lie back down again.
“Surely after the story you told, there is nothing left for you to do again. After you got answers about why you came this way, I can’t imagine why you would need to sit so soon after fainting again.”
“I was going to take you running before you started in on me again. You got answers too with my story. You kept saying you didn’t understand why I couldn’t just be your daughter.”
“I want you to take me running. I want to see what you experience when you say you need to leave to calm down. I’m not trying to annoy you; I just don’t see why you can’t take a moment to rest after you used so much energy. I know you are tired from everything you have been doing. Why can’t you just stop for a moment and rest?”
Leodos thought she would hurt Esylle again because she didn’t want her to see that she was afraid and tired, but she laid back against the pillows and didn’t fight when Esylle went to stroke her hair. She had been allowing her to do so since he gave her the spirits. This needed to play out between the two of them and Leodos didn’t want to get involved and ruin a moment where the girl might finally relax around her mother.
“I can’t rest when everyone expects so much from me. The humans are getting close and there will be things that need to be done then. There’s still so much you need to learn now and Terros can’t control his new gifts yet.”
Leodos watched Esylle pull Lisana to her and she didn’t fight with her, but she didn’t relax as she had come to do when Leodos embraced her. Leodos watched her finally relax when Esylle told her she as much as she liked her new gifts, she would rather Lisana take a few moments respite of everyone expecting things of her to just take a few moments for herself. Lisana tried to tell her that she couldn’t, but Esylle silenced her and told her no one expected her to do everything at once and the humans weren’t here yet. The girl must have been more tired that she let on and soon relaxed enough to fall asleep while Esylle was holding her.
They all wound up falling asleep until there was a knock at the door. Leodos got up to answer it and it was all four kings asking for her. Not sure what they wanted, he shut the door silently behind him and asked them if she could have a break from everything tonight. He was surprised when Volaris laughed and told him all of the tribes had been planning her name day celebration since Esylle whispered it to the Farkhi women and she needed to come into the dining hall so they could surprise her.
When Leodos came back into the room with the kings, Lisana was sitting up wiping the sleep from her eyes and Esylle was still half asleep and seemed confused she was pulling away from her. When Leodos told Esylle it was time and she saw the four kings smiling, she sat up and seemed excited. Lisana seemed confused.
“I don’t need to sit again until tomorrow. Is Joron not teaching you what you need to know?”
“I have a surprise for you if you will trust me,” Esylle told her.
The girl was confused, but did not fight or argue as Esylle placed her hands over both of her eyes and Volaris took her hand and guided her towards the dining hall. Leodos had been sleeping and was not a part of the plotting, but he was surprised to see a long stone table that was filled with food. When Esylle took her hands off her eyes and she saw the feast and all of the tribe’s members either sitting at the table or standing near it, she looked to Esylle and asked what they were celebrating. She relaxed and returned the embrace when Esylle told her since she didn’t know when it was, she wanted to surprise her on her name day. Leodos saw a smile from her since the first time they arrived at Inanos.
Volaris told her all of the tribes had come together to cook things she could eat from their cultures and they all made her what they made for their tribe’s name day celebrations. She looked unsure of herself as she walked to the head of the table past those who wanted to touch her. She sat down with Sono and Oris on either side of her and Esylle didn’t seem upset that she couldn’t sit right next to her. Esylle sat next to Sono and Leodos took his place next to Esylle. Neptis was sitting next to Oris and seemed unhappy with the seating arrangement.
Sono and Oris seemed to be talking to her at once about which food to try and there were those from the other tribes bringing dishes for her to try. She took a little of everything offered to her and Esylle beamed when she asked her to tell her about the day she was born and about her father. Oris and Sono finally settled down and let her eat while Esylle told her about the day she was born. She told her Leodos, her father, and Joron were pacing the halls because she took her time arriving. Leodos and Rivannus were worried something was going wrong and keep sending servants in to check on Esylle. Lisana finally made her appearance when lights fell from the sky and the three men who had been waiting for her rushed into the room as she was being placed into Esylle’s arms.
Esylle told her how red her hair was and how they had to darken it before they could show her to anyone. She had trouble changing her eyes to blue at first because it seemed like the infant was fighting the change. She came out screaming and set the bedroom drapes on fire, but settled down almost as soon as Esylle held her and began to coo as she was being passed among Joron, Leodos, and Rivannus. Esylle told her she didn’t think it strange at the time, but Rivannus didn’t seem to want to let her out of his arms when she was a baby. She knew now why. Esylle slipped several times when she was telling her story and called her by her real name. Leodos noticed she didn’t get angry this time and there were no flames in her eyes.
“You called me by my real name,” she told Esylle. He couldn’t read her expression and couldn’t tell if what she would say next would ruin the night for Esylle.
“I’m sorry. I know you don’t like it. I couldn’t help it when I was talking about you then because that was the name you were given.” Esylle didn’t seem upset and she seemed to understand she wasn’t ready to be called by that name. Leodos also called her by her real name in his head and had trouble calling her by the name Belisarus gave her when he was talking to her. He was surprised by what came out of Lisana’s mouth next.
“If you want to call me by that name, I won’t get angry. Leodos hesitates when he says my name and I suspect he wants to call me that too.”
Esylle had a smile on her face for the rest of the night that melted Leodos’ heart. Lisana had finally started to relax and was laughing and smiling with the three princes. She had found a way to manage them on their journey so that when she talked to them, they were not talking over each other and she gave all three of them equal attention so there was no fighting. She even managed to make both Leodos and Esylle feel included in the conversation.
When Volaris started pouring wine and wanted to make a toast, Lisana placed her hand over her goblet when he went to pour. Volaris laughed when she told him she didn’t want to feel the way she had after she had gotten drunk the first time. He told her it was Farkhi wine and was not as strong as what Leodos gave her. One glass wouldn’t make her feel bad. She looked unsure of herself again, but let him pour. She turned red as all four kings and Esylle got up and toasted to her and were fawning over her in their toasts.
Leodos finally got to try the wine after everyone stopped speaking. He had never had Farkhi wine before. It was sweet and tasted of berries. It was strong and Lisana’s cheeks were flushed when she finished her glass. He could tell she was feeling the wine, but was not in the state she was in when he didn’t take his flask away soon enough. He still felt awful about that night and thought Oris had done something with her that he shouldn’t, but both of them refused to talk about that night.
She seemed
to be laughing and having fun and the cold girl she had been showing because she was scared what would happen if she lost control was gone. He was glad no one mentioned who she was and what she was supposed to do, nor sitting in the chair again and just let her enjoy her night. Everyone was smiling and laughing with her and seemed to be relieved the girl they all knew was back for the night. When Esylle noticed her yawning, she mentioned going to bed and Lisana finally admitted she was tired. Her cheeks were still flushed from the wine and she seemed less uncomfortable when they all touched her as she passed as they were leaving.
Leodos knew this was a good idea when it was just the three of them in the hallway and she embraced Esylle first and thanked her for the feast. Esylle was crying happy tears and Lisana pulled away and tried to joke that she didn’t think she would be able to eat anything for the next few days. Esylle wiped her eyes and Lisana didn’t get angry or stop smiling when Esylle fussed that she wasn’t about to start skipping meals. Lisana looked like she was going to say something else, but Sono appeared in the hallway with them and asked her if she would come to his chambers before she went to sleep.
Leodos thought she knew better by now and Sono had stopped her once, but he didn’t think the two of them should be alone together in his bedroom. Esylle voiced Leodos’ thoughts and also told her she should rest. The fight in Lisana came back as she argued that both of them should trust her. Sono promised he would not keep her up late and would not do anything dishonorable. Both Esylle and Leodos watched her back unhappily as she disappeared with Sono.
Sono
Sono led her to his chambers knowing Esylle and Leodos didn’t like it. He hoped he had the strength to tell her no again if she tried to take his robes off. There was a garden here and he missed being alone with her to look for food. He missed the conversations they had when it was just the two of them. He wanted to know if she understood the feelings she was having towards him now and if she would tell him, since she refused to tell everyone else, what she meant when she said none of them would like her choice. He had this nagging feeling since she told her story earlier today that the only reason she changed them the way she did and gave everyone else the ability for their children to not have to choose a form was because she would choose none of them. He thought what she meant by none of them liking her choice was that she meant for them to choose mates from another tribe since she said that is what they should have been doing all along.
The Spirus Page 30
