Only for You

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by BETH KERY


  “Does his opinion mean that much to you?” her mom asked quietly.

  The question triggered an unstoppable rush of emotion.

  “Yes,” she gasped. “I’m in love with him.”

  Her mother pushed back the hair off Gia’s face and said soothingly, “Okay, this sounds major. Better start from the beginning. Take your time.”

  The whole story came spilling out of Gia: the strong connection she and Seth had felt years ago upon their first encounter, his reaction to discovering she was an actress and refusal to contact her again, the consultant disguise work he occasionally did in legal and criminal cases, and how he’d been assigned to help her disappear off the map. She left out Zoe Lindsay’s name and provided only the sketchiest details, but it was enough to give her mother the impression that Seth definitely had his reasons for avoiding actresses. She described his independence and love of privacy, his determination not to let the blind greed for power and fame that ran at epidemic levels in Hollywood taint his creative drive and love of his work. When she mentioned Seth’s contention that because of the clash of Gia’s ambition and his need to protect his private life and artistic drive, they wouldn’t “work” together, her mom paused her tearful ramble with a hand on her forearm.

  “Do you think that’s true, Gia? On your part?” she asked.

  “I suppose,” she said miserably. “I couldn’t give up any of my career dreams for a man. It’s not who I am. More importantly, it’s not who Seth is to ever ask or expect me to.” She blinked when there was no response and focused her bleary eyes. Her mother looked grave.

  “Is part of that because you’ve never forgiven me for giving up my career . . . for believing I gave you up as well, in order to marry Stephen and move to San Diego?”

  Gia held her breath. Her skin started to prickle. She and her mother hadn’t had this discussion since Gia was sixteen. Even then, it hadn’t been as much of an argument as it had been Gia saying a lot of things she later regretted and her mother reciprocating.

  “It’s not like that,” Gia said. “It was never my place to judge you anyway. That was wrong of me.”

  “You’re my daughter. You were affected most by my decision. I can’t imagine who deserves an opinion on the matter more,” her mom responded evenly. Gia opened her mouth to backpedal, but her mother squeezed her forearm gently, silencing her. “My choices were my own, Gia. I think I’ve made the right decision. I’m happy with my life.”

  “I’m so glad,” Gia said sincerely, swiping at a wet cheek.

  “I know you are. The thing of it is, I want your choices to be your own, as well.”

  “They are,” Gia assured, a little taken aback. “Who else’s would they be?”

  “A knee-jerk reaction isn’t a choice, honey,” Susan said. “Making a decision about your romantic relationship and career based on the fact that it’s the opposite of what I did isn’t the same as a well-thought-out choice. That’s being a slave to your past hurts.”

  Gia just stared for a moment, her mouth hanging open. “You think I should sacrifice my career to be with Seth?”

  “No,” her mom scoffed. “Not everything is black and white. Maybe you think it was in my case, but it wasn’t in my book. You were too young to realize it, but my job was grueling. It took its toll on me. And as far as sacrifices go, we all make them in order to get the things we want.”

  Dread settled on her as she sat there cross-legged on the bed, her thoughts swirling until she felt a little dizzy with them.

  “I was wrong to run away from him like that, wasn’t I?” Gia asked dully. “He wanted to talk, but I just thought it was postponing the inevitable. I wanted to avoid the pain, but it didn’t work. Not really.”

  “If Seth wanted to talk before, he still will.”

  She looked at her mom’s compassionate face. “Even after what happened today with that story breaking?” she asked dubiously.

  Her mom leaned forward and gave her a hug. “I can’t say for sure. But from what I’ve heard about Seth so far, I’d guess especially after today.”

  Her mother squeezed her extra hard and then leaned back. She became all brisk and businesslike, but Gia hadn’t missed the way she had furtively wiped a tear off her cheek.

  “Now, you eat this salad, drink your tea and try to get some rest,” Susan insisted, fussing with the tray of food. “You said Charles and some of the team are going to be here bright and early tomorrow to go over your testimony again. You need the rest this weekend, given how stressful next week will be.”

  She followed her mother’s instructions, knowing she was right. Next week would be difficult. But after she’d eaten, cleaned up and gone to bed, sleep still wouldn’t come.

  As she lay in bed, Gia thought about the conversation with her mother, experiencing a mixture of hope, anguish and doubt. She couldn’t help but consider how much Seth despised everything that news story typified, including the blatant dishonesty and the crass, aggressive invasion of his private life. She’d been the one to make him a target of that, however unintentionally.

  There was also the glaring fact that he wasn’t returning her phone calls. And that even if the opportunity came up, Madeline and Charles had both insisted that she and Seth not see each other until this media storm and the trial ended. To Gia, that seemed like forever. That gaping period of time would give Seth more time to distance himself and validate his doubts about being involved with her.

  Meanwhile, she was stuck here in this condo, trapped in the web of her own life. She had a wild urge to walk away from it all: this tower, where she felt like a prisoner, the trial . . . Hollywood.

  You should be careful what you wish for, she recalled Seth telling her with that sober, weighty manner he possessed.

  He’d been right.

  And she missed him so much.

  * * *

  The next morning, she felt hollow inside, but her anguish had been contained. All she wanted to do was get this damn trial over with. She had never resented Sterling McClarin more. Instead of being ready when the prosecution team started to arrive at the condominium, she stalled; the motivation she used to feel to get through the gargantuan trial was dwindling to mere fumes. She had asked her mother to tell her when Charles arrived. The meeting wouldn’t really get started until he was there anyway.

  Gia brushed a little more blush onto her cheeks, but finally gave up. She looked pale from lack of sleep and stress, and nothing in her makeup bag was going to help that. Her mom rapped on the bathroom door. “Charles just arrived, Gia.”

  Gia opened the door. “Thanks, Mom,” she said, giving her mother a brief hug. She felt especially close to her since last night.

  Before she left the bathroom, however, she received a phone call from her part-time housekeeper that sent mental alarms going off in her head.

  * * *

  “Hi,” Gia greeted Charles anxiously several minutes later when she entered the living area. Charles was talking intently to her mother near the entryway, while several other attorneys were seated in the living room. It looked as if Susan had already distributed coffee to the other members of the legal team and her police escort for the day. Gia felt as if she were surrounded by men and women in dark suits these days.

  “Hi. How are you doing? Get any sleep?” Charles asked her.

  “Yeah. I’m good,” she lied levelly. “Do you think I could have a word in private?”

  She was anxious to discuss the troubling phone call she’d just received from her housekeeper, but she also was desperate to ask him if he’d heard from Seth. She pointed in the direction of her bedroom suite. Charles had already become familiar with the layout of the condominium. Madeline and her team had held a few meetings there, before and after trial sessions. As the key witness, Gia had been the focus of a lot of preparation, and the condo where she was staying was centrally located for the prosecution�
��s team meetings.

  “Sure,” Charles said. “Go on back. I just want to grab my coffee and a file I wanted to show you. Do you want coffee?”

  Gia winced. “Better make it decaf,” she said before she started back down the hallway.

  Charles touched her shoulder. “It’s all going to be okay, Gia,” he assured her quietly.

  Her smile was brittle. She must look like a nervous wreck for him to say that so feelingly.

  In the bedroom, she left the door partially open and sat down in one of the armchairs in the sitting area of the large suite.

  “Come in,” she said when she heard Charles’s knock. She heard the door close and looked up expectantly. Her face fell.

  “Oh . . . I thought it was Charles,” she said, flustered. A slouching, heavy-set blond lawyer with a large nose walked toward her. She wasn’t familiar with him. He handed her a cup of coffee, which she took automatically. It wasn’t the fact that she didn’t know the man that had her puzzled. It seemed as if she’d seen several faces come and go on Madeline’s prosecution team. Sometimes lawyers did background work and she rarely saw them, but they showed up at meetings to report on some technical aspect of the case. She was just put off at the moment because it seemed odd for Charles to send a stranger back to her private quarters without an explanation.

  “Charles had to step out for a moment. They all did.”

  A prickle of unease went down her spine. Something’s not right. Was it fear she was feeling? No, that wasn’t it. She looked into the man’s flat brown eyes. What the hell was happening?

  She stood up slowly.

  “Gia.”

  The prickle of anxiety became a cascade of shivers. A shudder went through her.

  “It can’t be . . .”

  “It’s okay. It’s me,” he reached for her.

  The man’s rounded back straightened. Her eyes sprang wide as he seemed to grow several inches right in front of her. He transformed, and suddenly he wasn’t a stranger at all.

  “Seth?”

  He nodded.

  “Oh my God.” She set the coffee cup down too hard, coffee splashing onto her knuckles in her haste. She rushed to him, clutching him around his waist. His arms surrounded her. If a shadow of doubt lingered, it evaporated at the sound of his familiar, low chuckle.

  “Put on a few pounds since I saw you a few days ago, haven’t you?” she asked with a hysterical bark of laughter as she squeezed him tighter. He was obviously wearing a body suit that added fifty pounds to his lean frame. A partial prosthetic on his cheeks and nose made him look heavier too. One hand cupped her head.

  “Maybe I was binge eating. I was a little upset.”

  “Seth, I’m so sorry,” burst out of her throat. She looked up at him. Her brain was still vibrating with shock. “I’ve been trying to contact you to tell you—”

  “I know,” he said, cradling her jaw, his thumb wiping away a single tear that had fallen on her cheek. His actions were tender and so familiar, an ache rose in her. He was really here. He caught another tear. “And you don’t have anything to be sorry for. None of this is your fault. You’re the last person who would have wanted this to happen. I know that.”

  “But if it weren’t for me—”

  “Shh,” he soothed, his warm breath brushing against her mouth. “Everything’s going to be all right. Everything.”

  Her chest swelled with wild hope. Happiness. His lips brushed against hers, and the feeling swelled tight enough to burst.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” she whispered, catching his scent, something the disguise couldn’t hide from a knowing nose. She nibbled hungrily at his mouth. There was no disguise for his taste either.

  “I’m glad to see you too,” he assured her, dipping his head to deepen their kiss. She moaned, a ripple of pure, powerful euphoria went through her.

  “But how?” Gia asked when Seth lifted his head.

  “After talking things over with Madeline and Charles, they started to get the bigger picture of what was happening. Not only with that story breaking, but what was going on between us. After a lot of back-and-forth on the matter, I managed to convince them it would be in their best interests if they let us see each other.”

  “As long as you looked nothing like Seth Hightower when you did it?”

  “Exactly. Madeline wants to avoid that at all costs. So we came up with this little plan last night to fool any reporters. Should anyone spot us, they would just see various members of the prosecution team arriving for a quick consultation with the witness before her testimony begins. We all took different entrances and left in varying groups in order to throw off any possible watchers. We made sure there was at least one identifiable member of the prosecution team with each group that arrived and left.”

  Gia lowered her hands to his biceps and squeezed again. Amazed laughter bubbled out of her throat. He wasn’t wearing any padding here. The bulging, dense muscle definitely belonged to Seth.

  “How were you able to convince Madeline? From a couple things she and Charles said, I thought they were dead set against the idea of us seeing each other until after the trial.”

  “I told Madeline that I thought it would affect your ability to be as convincing a witness as possible. I told her your heart wouldn’t be in it if you didn’t get a chance to settle your anxiety with me first.”

  “My anxiety?” she asked shakily.

  He nodded, caressing her cheek.

  “I know you by now, Gia,” he said quietly. “I know you care, even if we’d parted ways. I knew you would be worried.”

  A tremor of unease went through her when he mentioned their parting ways like it was an established fact. Which it was, she supposed. Still . . . he was here right now.

  “Worried doesn’t begin to describe it,” she whispered. “I feel so miserable about this happening. I know how protective and bad you felt about Dharma Jana. To have her photo plastered everywhere—and her sad story—and all those lies they told about you. It was obscene.” Her voice broke. “I thought you’d never want to talk to me again.”

  “Look at me,” he said, tilting up her face with his hand. She bit off her anguish. Even through his brilliant disguise, she felt as if she really was looking at Seth in that moment, seeing his quiet, mountain-sized strength. “There’s never going to be a time that I don’t want to talk to you. Do you understand me?”

  She bit at her trembling lip to still it and nodded. He rubbed the pad of his thumb along her cheekbone. Her rising guilt made the caress almost unbearably sweet.

  “But you don’t know what I know,” she insisted.

  His caressing finger paused. “What do you mean?”

  “This really is my fault. Or at least I think it is.”

  “Are you referring to Jim?”

  She blinked in shock. “How do you know about Jim?”

  “I know he was responsible for the story breaking. I told Charles I suspected it. Charles sent a deputy over to question Jim.”

  She took a moment to absorb the news that Seth had already suspected Jim’s complicity. “I just spoke to Anna, my housekeeper,” she said shakily. “I haven’t even told Charles about it yet. Anna arrived at my house today after a two-day absence. She only comes a few days a week. Jim is a live-in though. He’s out in the carriage house. Anna cleans out there as well once a week. She told me a few minutes ago that Jim’s apartment had been cleared out. He’s gone, without even leaving a note.”

  Seth looked grim. “I’m not surprised. The deputy couldn’t get anything out of him, but Jim must have realized someone was suspicious, and it was just a matter of time before you knew what he’d done.”

  “Charles told me that he, Madeline, Alex, you and I were the only ones who knew originally where we were. But then I gave Jim the information. I trusted him,” she said slowly.

  �
�He was probably bribed or blackmailed. I told you that McClarin and his people would find a crack in the armor. That’s what spiders do,” Seth said, his mouth slanting in anger.

  “Then I am the one to blame for all of this,” she said, the certainty of what was formerly just a suspicion hitting her in a wave of misery. “I’m the one who called someone on the outside when you specifically told me not to, all because I couldn’t stand the idea of saying good-bye to you in that airport.”

  “Gia, it’s okay,” Seth said, his fingertips moving on her cheek.

  “No, it’s not. You had things planned so that there was no chance of a break in the security bubble you’d created. I ruined that. I caused your worst nightmare. It’s everything you suspected could happen, being with a celebrity. Forget nightmare,” she mumbled. “It’s like some kind of cosmic joke.”

  “You trusted Jim. He never gave you any reason not to until now. Jim would have picked you up at the airport in Los Angeles. There would have been no reason for you to think it would be any different to have him drive you in St. Louis. And there’s no way you—or any of us—could ever imagine McClarin could twist that relatively innocent bit of information about us being in the woods together into this story. Not even Jim could have ever suspected that. He’s one of many strands in McClarin’s web. As for my supposed nightmare, I’ll survive it all. As you can see, I haven’t wilted. And I’m standing right here, Gia.” She glanced up and met his stare doubtfully. Hopefully. “It’s like I said before,” he rasped, his fingers massaging her temple in a soothing, circular motion. “There’s never going to be a time that I don’t want to see you. There’s never going to be a time that I don’t want to touch you. Nothing is going to change that. Not Tomoriv, not McClarin, not the press or anyone else trying to spin a story to trap us.” He touched his mouth to her lips. “Your job isn’t going to change my mind about that. Neither is my history,” he added steadfastly before his mouth covered hers.

  A moment later, they came up for air. Gia realized dazedly she was pressing so close to him, it was like she wanted to crawl inside. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She loosened his tie, squeezing at his hard biceps, desperate to feel the real Seth.

 

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