“I was never seeing her mom, she’s just a friend.”
“How’s your friend, Gemma?”
“She’s fine ma, you don’t need to say it that way. She really is just a friend.”
“Spencer, I hope you’re treating that girl right!”
The last one killed me. It’s the only time my mother has ever even come close to addressing my somewhat promiscuous lifestyle. It’s not like my mom and I sit down and chat about these things. I know she’s long suspected that I’m not really a relationship kind of guy but I’m not really starved for attention, either, if you know what I mean. Still, it was a little hard to hear her imply that she thinks I’m not good to women. She should know better. She raised me.
I’m very good to women. Not one has ever left my bed dissatisfied.
My mother would slap me upside the head if she ever heard me say that.
But in all honesty, I try to be a gentleman. I don’t make promises I can’t keep and I don’t tell anyone something just because it’s what they want to hear. Honest to a fault, always. That’s gotten me in trouble and caused some hurt feelings, but in my experience it’s better to be honest at the beginning then to get caught in all your lies at the end. Which is why I was always honest with Fiona when I hooked up with someone else, not that it did me any good.
And I want to be honest with Gemma, too. But it’s hard to be honest about your feelings when you’re not even sure what they are.
It’s always been simple with other girls. We meet, we flirt, we have sex, the end. Get in and get out before anyone gets hurt. Leave before I’m left, that whole routine. None of them have ever really left me pining, or thinking about them constantly.
Not until I met Gemma.
So it makes sense that she doesn’t believe me when I tell her this isn’t going to be a one and done type of deal for me. I’m not even sure I believe that. I know I want it to be true, but it also scares the shit out of me.
Maybe that fear is what made me completely switch to auto-pilot when she was over the other night. My body just took over when we started kissing, and I was too horny to think about how the situation felt to Gemma.
Basically, I was a real asshole, and ruined all the progress I’d been making with her.
I’m trying in vain to come up with ways to win her back, when the front door bangs open and Lucas and Amanda come in. Granted it’s only been twenty-four hours since they became a couple in the most outrageous and official way possible, but I'm not sure I’ll ever get used to this.
“Hey man, what’s up?” Lucas nods at me.
“Not much, what are you guys doing?” I reply, eyeing the two of them. They’re somehow so entwined with each other I have no idea how they both fit through the doorway to get into the apartment.
“Getting ready to go out to dinner. You want to come?” Lucas asks.
Amanda gives him a dirty look. “Lucas,” she snaps at him under her breath.
“What?” he hisses back. “I’m being courteous.”
“Nah, I’m all set, thanks,” I tell him. It’s tempting to say yes to get under Amanda’s skin, but going to dinner with them would annoy me more than her. She looks relieved when I decline.
“Is Gemma home?” she asks me, as if I would know.
“No, she’s working tonight,” I answer, because I do know. Obsessing and stalking, who have I become? It’s not like it’s hard to keep tabs on Gemma. She has a pretty regular schedule. It didn’t take me long to figure out when she has class and when she works, and oh my god I am pathetic. What is wrong with me?
“Great. I’m going to go take a shower and get ready, okay babe?” she gives Lucas a kiss and I try hard not to physically react to this but my face scrunches up in horror anyway. It’s not that I don’t like Amanda, per se, I’m just not sure I understand her and Lucas together. At all.
“You can shower and get ready here, you know. Mi casa es su casa and all that,” Lucas says.
“Aw, that’s sweet,” Amanda says, though she looks like the thought of showering here is anything but sweet. “But all my stuff is still at my place, it will be easier to get ready there. And you can get ready here. So much faster than us trying to get ready at the same time in one small bathroom, right?”
“That’s a good point,” Lucas says, mulling this over. “But you’re going to bring your stuff over here like we talked about, right?”
“Yes, definitely,” Amanda says. They kiss for what feels like an eternity while I try not to notice, and then she finally leaves. That’s when I round on Lucas.
“What do you mean she can ‘bring her stuff over here like you talked about’?” I ask.
“Don’t worry about it, we won’t even bother you.”
“Lucas, did you ask her to move in here?” A muscle in my neck starts to knot.
“Just for now, until we figure something else out. We’re married now, man, we can’t live separately. And she’s not speaking to Gemma so we can’t stay over there.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me Lucas,” I moan. “She’s moving in here? You didn’t even ask me about this!”
“I was going to,” he grumbles. “I hadn’t gotten a chance yet.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a little late now, isn’t it?”
“You have girls here all the time, and now I want to have a girl stay over and it’s a big deal,” Lucas whines.
“For the record, I’ve never asked any of them to move in here. And I haven’t brought a girl in here in months, so don’t even think of turning this on me.”
“Oh yeah? What about Gemma? She was here the other night.” Lucas crosses his arms and looks smug.
“That’s not the same. We were just hanging out,” I say.
“Really? Looked like more than that to me.” He raises an eyebrow.
“It wasn’t,” I say. Then, to get him off my back, “You should consider cleaning the bathroom if your girlfriend is going to be living here.”
“My wife, you mean,” Lucas says, and he sounds so proud I don’t have the heart to say anything snarky. It’s going to be ugly when this inevitably implodes in his face.
“Whatever,” I tell him. “She’s not going to want to live with our bathroom. That bathroom is boy clean, and she’s going to want it girl clean.”
“Well then she’ll have to clean it, because I don’t know what ‘girl clean’ means. Bathroom looks fine to me.”
I shake my head and head for my bedroom. “You’ve got a lot to learn, my friend.”
“Like you know anything about being in a relationship!” Lucas calls to my retreating back.
I don’t answer him, because he has a point.
Chapter Nineteen
Spence
Living with Lucas and Amanda isn’t exactly what I’d call a good time. From what I can tell, their relationship has two settings - bickering and fucking. And both settings are too loud for my tastes. It explains why I’m up so early, anyway. I got barely any sleep last night, since it sounded like they went from bickering to fucking on repeat until the wee hours of the morning.
The sun is coming up while I lay on the couch, flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch, but the only thing that seems to be on at this ungodly hour is infomercials. Lucas’ bedroom door opens and he shuffles out, being careful to close the door behind him so it doesn’t make any noise.
“What are you doing up?” he grumbles when he sees me.
“Couldn’t sleep. What are you doing up?”
“Same.”
I snort. “Really? Figured by the sound of things last night you’d be pretty tuckered out.”
Lucas makes a face and goes into the kitchen. He clangs a few cabinets open and closed before reappearing again.
“We’re out of coffee.” He flops down on the couch next to me. We sit together without talking for awhile, watching a commercial for a knife that supposedly never dulls.
“So, how are things with your new wife?” I ask.
Lucas sighs and rubs his hands over his face. “Let’s not, man.”
“That good, huh?”
“How are things with Gemma?” he shoots back at me.
“There are no things with Gemma,” I tell him.
“Seriously? Come on, Spence. We walked in on you two the other day. That didn’t look like nothing to me.”
“Yeah well, I promise you, it’s nothing,” I grumble.
“You’re not sleeping with her?” Lucas asks.
“No.”
“Seriously?” Lucas sounds genuinely surprised. “I thought you’d been sleeping with her for weeks and just not telling anyone so Max and Liam don’t flip out.”
“Nope,” I say. “Not sleeping with her.”
“Wait, so if you’re not sleeping with her, who are you sleeping with?”
I sigh. “I’m not sleeping with anyone, Lucas. What does it even matter?”
“Because you’re always sleeping with someone. How long has it been?”
“It’s been awhile,” I grumble.
Lucas looks at me, his eyes narrowing as he takes all this in. “Put some pants on, we’re going for breakfast.”
We go to the diner down the street from the apartment, and since it’s the crack of dawn it’s empty so we get sat right away.
“Is Amanda going to be mad you went to breakfast without her?” I ask Lucas.
He shrugs. “Probably. I’ll bring her a coffee and a bagel or something.”
“But really, what’s going on with you guys?” The waitress comes over and fills our mugs with steaming coffee and we place our orders.
Lucas rubs the back of his neck. “Ehhh, it’s complicated.”
“Marriage not all it’s cracked up to be?” I ask, smirking.
“Well, the thing is,” Lucas says sheepishly, “we’re not actually married. We never got a marriage license. It was all for fun.”
“It was all for fun? You’ve got to be shitting me,” I say. I almost want to laugh, but Lucas looks miserable.
“No, I’m not.”
“So now what happens? You’re playing house?”
“No, the plan was we’d get a marriage license when we got home, do a courthouse wedding or something. But now Amanda thinks we should wait,” Lucas says.
“And what, you disagree with her?” I ask.
“Well, yeah. If we’re going to do this, let’s do this, you know?”
I let out a breath. “I hate to break it to you bud, but I’m on Amanda’s side here.”
His head snaps up and he looks at me angrily. “You’re supposed to be on my side no matter what. That’s, like, bro code,” he says.
“Not this time,” I say, shaking my head. “Maybe she’s right. Can’t you be together and like, not be married right now? It’s kind of weird you randomly got married in the first place.”
“That’s not the point,” he snaps. “Now you tell me what your deal with Gemma is.”
He’s changing the subject, and because he looks so distressed I let him get away with it.
I sigh. “I honestly have no idea.”
“But you’re definitely not having sex with her?”
“Definitely not having sex with her.” I will not be telling him what happened between us when he walked in on me and her together the other day. Some things should stay private, whatever the bro code may be.
“I don’t get it,” Lucas says.
“We’re just friends,” I tell him.
“But you want to be more than friends, right? You don’t have friends that are girls.”
“Well, yeah,” I admit. “But I want to be friends with her, too.”
Lucas laughs out loud at this. “So you want her to be your girlfriend?”
I open my mouth to deny this, but then realize maybe he’s right. I decide to deny it anyway. “I don’t do girlfriends,” I say. “Remember Fiona?”
“Yeah, but Gemma isn’t Fiona. She’s not a lunatic, for starters.”
“That’s true at least,” I say. “I brought her to Samuel’s birthday party. My parents like her.”
“Wait, what?” Lucas says. Our food arrives and he's about to shovel a bite of eggs in his mouth. It falls off his fork halfway. “You brought Gemma to meet your parents?”
I nod. “Yeah. On a whim, really.”
“Shut up, you did not.”
“I did.”
“She met Aunt Kath and Uncle Phil?”
“She met Kath and Phil,” I confirm. “Kath won’t leave me alone about it.”
“I’m not going to leave you alone about it,” Lucas says, shaking his head in wonder. “What is happening right now? Bringing Gemma home? That’s a big deal. And you’re not even sleeping with her!”
I poke at my food, suddenly not hungry. “I think I’m in trouble with this one.”
“Sounds to me like you’re falling for her,” Lucas says.
I shake my head. “Not possible. I don’t fall for girls. That’s not a thing I do.”
“But here’s the thing—you are.”
“No,” I say, looking at him. “Like. I can’t. I’m incapable of falling in love. Put that on the list.” I let out a little laugh imagining me suggesting that to Gemma. I am incapable of being in love, please add that to the list, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.
“Who said anything about love? Maybe you’re falling in serious like.”
“‘Falling in serious like’?” I scoff. “What is this, a romantic comedy?”
Lucas scowls at me. “Don’t be a jerk, you know what I mean. Besides, you must have been in love before.”
“Really?” I ask. “With who? Please tell me.”
He opens his mouth but then closes it again, frowning.
“Exactly,” I say. “Not capable.”
“Huh,” Lucas says, still frowning. “I’ve been in love like, a million times. And yet you get laid way more than me. Maybe I’ve been doing this wrong.”
I laugh. “Yeah, you probably are.” I pause. “Are you in love with Amanda?”
“Yeah, I am,” he says, with zero hesitation. I think again how much it’s going to suck when she breaks his heart. He makes a face. “Can we stop talking about it, though? All this mushy crap is making me lose my appetite. Let’s go back to being jerks to each other like we usually are.”
I grin. “That shirt is stupid,” I tell him.
He looks down at the sweater he’s wearing, offended. “Amanda got me this!”
“Ah, that explains it.”
He flicks his eggs at me and everything is back to normal again.
Chapter Twenty
Gemma
It’s been a couple days since my awkward make out session with Spence. I haven’t heard from him, and I haven’t reached out. I don’t even know what I would say to him. I’m also still reeling from the whole Lucas-and-Amanda-are-married news. Amanda appears to have basically moved in with Lucas so I’m all by myself in the apartment, and it’s lonely as hell.
Amanda isn’t speaking to me. I haven’t heard from Spence so I’m assuming he’s moved on. And I’ve been avoiding Liam and Macy because I’m afraid they’ll take one look at me and immediately know something is wrong. It’s Friday night and I’m sitting around feeling lonely and sorry for myself when my phone buzzes with a text from Dex, of all people.
Hey! Come to O’Leary’s with me and Connor tonight. I promise I won’t try to make out with you.
I laugh out loud at his message. Dex had apologized for what happened at the party, but we haven’t talked much since then and I haven’t seen him. I bite my lip, thinking, and send my reply.
Okay, deal.
I’m a little skeptical about hanging out with Dex again after the kiss incident, but I tell myself as long as I don’t end up alone with him again it will be fine. I need to get out of this apartment and do something to distract myself.
Dex replies to let me know him and Connor will pick me up around ten, so I make myself dinner and get ready.
; As I get ready, I think of how much more fun this would be if Amanda were here. We’d have on music and we’d be drinking wine and getting ready would be just as fun as going out. I contemplate texting her and asking if she wants to come too, but then I change my mind. She’s the one that ran off and eloped without telling me - her best friend. She’s the one who’d rather live with her new husband than with me. Who elopes when they’re still in college, anyway? The whole thing is ridiculous.
I keep hoping somehow things with Amanda will work out, that she’ll apologize and we can fix this, because the alternative is too difficult to even think about. We’ve gotten in fights before and they always blow over, but I don’t know how we’ll move past this one. The longer this goes on, the harder it gets to think about.
Dex and Connor show up at ten on the dot, and we head over to O’Leary’s. While drinking at Kincaid’s is free, which is always a nice perk, it’s also nice to get out and go somewhere else for a change, too. Somewhere where I’m not responsible for anything and people aren’t keeping an eye on my every move.
“Hey Gems, long time no see,” Connor says when I get in the car. Dex gives me an awkward smile.
“Hey, Dex,” I say, looking just as awkward. That’s my life lately. Feeling awkward around boys. I thought that was supposed to happen less often after high school?
When we get to the bar we order drinks and Connor asks about Amanda.
“I haven’t seen her around in a while and she’s not answering my texts. Is she mad at me and I don’t know it?” He looks truly confused.
Crap.
“You haven’t talked to her at all?” I ask, even though it’s obvious she has not told him about Lucas. It’s not my place to say anything, but also feel like I can’t play dumb, either.
“No, why?” he asks, his eyes narrowing.
“Well, uh, she’s been seeing someone else,” I say. Not a lie, but not the whole truth either. Good enough.
“Really?” he looks surprised. “Is it serious?”
“Um, kind of,” I say, feeling terrible.
Connor doesn’t seem all that upset. Which is a relief. “Huh, well that explains why I haven’t heard from her. And why she didn’t really talk to me much at that party.”
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