by Flynn Eire
After the first time he came on me, I couldn’t take it anymore and dropped to my knees, swallowing him down as I stared up at his face. His beautiful, beautiful face that told me so much when he was enjoying anything and everything I did to him. I rubbed my finger over his tight hole when he tried to silence his cries of pleasure by shoving his hand in his mouth.
It worked because his body went limp, and my holding him up was the only thing that kept him from falling over. I moaned at the taste of him when he finished in my mouth, sucking him off three times before realizing it was too much for him and pulling off, smiling up at him with pride a man could only have at pleasing his partner.
Only to flinch when it wasn’t water but tears that dripped onto my face.
“Get out,” he sobbed, smacking me hard across the face. “Get out!”
“Wait, what did I do?” I whispered, cupping my cheek. It wasn’t the physical that made it so painful, since he was like a wet noodle, but the emotional. “Why are you so mad?”
When I moved to hold my cheek, I let go of him, and he slid along the tiles until his butt hit the floor. He lowered his head to his knees and sobbed.
“Why are you so upset with me?” I asked, my tone sounding a bit hysterical, but I was feeling that. I’d done what I could to make something magical for us, for him, and he was sobbing like someone had died. What was I missing? “Gary, please talk to me!”
But he wouldn’t. He sat there and cried until he got his bearings and body back under control and then showered like I wasn’t there, only reacting by smacking my hands away when I reached for him. I followed after him when he finished and shut off the water, completely ignoring my stuff and towel.
“Gary, Gary, please tell me what’s going on!” I begged, worried something was really wrong because he wasn’t even flinching when I shouted. I shoved into his room when he opened it, trying to lock me out again, but I—he couldn’t be alone the way he was acting. He flopped on the bed, turning away from me and ignoring me when I got into bed with him too. “Baby, what’s going on? I’m so confused. I just wanted to please you.”
“Yeah, you got my first blow job,” he muttered, shoving my hand away. “Awesome. Glad you got another for your scorecard after I ended this. Anything else you’re going to take without permission?”
“Hey, you’re making it sound like I raped you,” I growled, turning him onto his back and straddling his lap. The accusation in his eyes like he believed that hurt bad enough to bring tears to my eyes. “This isn’t about getting your first or fucking scoring. I like you. I think I love you. That’s why I kept only doing hand jobs. I was scared to hurt you or become any more addicted to you.”
“What?” he whispered, his eyes going wide. “How does that make sense?”
“I’m not sure it does,” I confessed, cupping his cheek. “I’m sorry I was acting like a goober. I felt like one. I kept coming harder from fucking hand jobs with you than some of the kinkiest sex I’ve ever had. I’m not young, Gary. I’m old. That’s a lot of years of sex, and you confuse me. My reaction to you confuses me, and I think you’re like my drug. I lose my head with you and—”
“Is that why you’re rubbing my hole while talking to me?” he drawled, complete with eye roll.
I glanced down to where my hands were and felt my cheeks heat. I had his legs spread, and I was, in fact, rubbing my fingers over his hole. “Shit, sorry. I—um, you, the way it twitched when you came made me so fucking hard.”
“Please listen to me when I say I don’t want sex,” he rasped, and immediately I stopped, moving out from between his legs even. “So you can hear me when having fun?”
“What did you say in the shower? ‘Not here’ isn’t the same as telling me you don’t want it or me,” I growled, pissed I was such a bad guy for giving him fun.
He frowned. “I said more than that, but maybe it wasn’t really coherent.” His cheeks flushed, and he looked away. “My body wanting you isn’t the same as agreeing it’s okay, Lynx. I told you we were done.”
“Don’t be done with me, baby,” I begged, leaning over and kissing his chest. “Let me explain. Punish me and let me make amends.”
“Do you even want to?” he growled, shoving me away from him and sitting up. “The loser virgin who—”
“I didn’t call you a loser,” I snapped, sitting back on my butt and pulling him onto my lap. “You’re not a loser. And I was a jerk, but I was hurting. I didn’t get how you didn’t see how much I’m into you. Yes, I went too far with Mikal, and okay, I get what you’re saying now about flirting. I’ll watch it. I don’t want anyone but you, so I wasn’t getting that or the difference since it made sense to me.”
“You’re a bit dense, you get that, right?” he murmured, crossing his arms over his chest and his lip coming out in a bit of a pout.
“Yes.” I shrugged as his eyes went wide. “I know I can be. I won’t even try to deny it. I don’t get much besides cars, engines, and mechanical shit. Guns are fun. Weapons are super fun like bazookas. Other than that, everything tends to confuse me if I think on it, so I don’t. Flirting is fun, so I do it. Sex is awesome, so I do that too.” He really frowned then, and I leaned in and nibbled on his lower lip. “But I only want to do any of it with my Gary.”
“Your Gary now?”
“You’ve been my Gary since we said we’d date. I’ve been yours since you first touched me, so yeah, you’re mine and I’m yours,” I declared, grabbing his butt and pulling him closer. “What does my Gary want?”
He moved his hands to my chest to keep the space we had but didn’t pull away. “A bit of time to think over what you said. Mull it because I still feel like I’m going back to a stove that will burn me, keeps burning me.”
“Do I get any credit for banging on your door for two hours like an idiot begging you just to let me in last night?” I blurted, my heart hurting at the sound of him sending me away again.
His lips twitched. “Is that how long you were out there for? I sort of blocked it out and sank into… Well, not a happy place.”
“Does that get worse for you like Sam was saying you guys were spiraling into panic faster and more often after the reaction to the transition drugs?”
He frowned as if he hadn’t thought about that. “Maybe? It’s definitely something I should talk to Sam about. It might make, not us blow up more, but yeah, extremes deeper? I had reason to blow, and fucking Mikal and his shit comments still makes me think water to his face got off easy.”
“You were hitting him when I saw what was going on.”
“He launched at me for throwing water in his face,” he grumbled and then told me what had happened.
I couldn’t help but frown. “I’m not sure why he’s acting like that. I’ve never talked to him before that time in the cafeteria, and I laughed more at the absurdity at his comment than it being actually funny.” It was his turn to frown, and I realized he hadn’t heard what was said. “He was flirting that he didn’t know I’d go so young and it opened a whole new bracket of men for me.” Gary growled, and I smiled. “I told him no.
“I was very clear that I was involved and it wasn’t casual this time. He said it was a shame to tame such an animal like me because I certainly didn’t live up to my name and mate only once a year, but he could get into claws if they were from me.”
“Oh, for the love of fuck,” he groaned and pushed to get off my lap.
I followed him down and surrounded his smaller frame with mine. “Yeah, it’s a horrible line, but the way he delivered it, I honestly laughed because I thought he was fucking around with the batting the eyelashes and flirty play. But no, he was serious, which was why I almost fell over laughing and my hand landed on his hip—which I didn’t realize at the time—to steady myself. I’m sorry.
“I was wrong, and I didn’t see it from the outside. I didn’t think I did anything wrong, and got pissed because I might be oblivious, but I can keep a promise. I wasn’t ditching breakfast with you to
go off and flirt. I was waiting for you by the trays and got hit on, which I was laughing at, it was so bad, and brushed him off.”
“Well, that explains why I’m his best friend now,” he grumbled, turning on his side so I got the hint and moved behind him. “You can’t keep things from me like that, Lynx.” I was about to ask what he meant, but he figured he’d bounced around on that one. “I kept asking you if something was wrong or if you were okay. You kept telling me things were fine, and they weren’t. I could feel they weren’t, but I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
“I was embarrassed,” I sighed, snuggling against his back. “Any way I thought of how to say it I sounded like a little twit.”
“Maybe, I don’t think so, but that’s better than us breaking up, right? I was flattered. I mean, I kept telling you all kinds of embarrassing stuff. You’ve seen my stuffed bunny collection, Lynx. Could you have some faith in me that I won’t be mean like you weren’t with that?”
“I’ll try.” I sighed when he went stiff. “I’m not perfect, baby. I’m gonna mess up again, maybe more than once, but I’ll try because I want to be with you. Can you try for me too? Not just bail but give me a chance to explain? Haven’t I shown this is real to me by not giving up? Even when you push me away, I keep coming back. That’s gotta mean something.”
“You’re right,” he muttered after a few moments, wrapping my arms around him and snuggling back against me. “You’re right that you’re awesome for doing that. I wouldn’t have the balls to do it, and I’m glad I’m important enough to you that you would. I’m sorry for not seeing it.”
“I like making up,” I purred, rubbing myself against him. “Want another blow job?” He shivered in my arms, and I chuckled. “That good?”
“You know it was.”
“I’ll give you as many as you want, baby. You taste sweet like you’re made of everything bright and shiny and sugary.”
“Cheesy,” he teased, laughing when I tickled his hip bones. “Shit, I really do have to go. I’m on a long run in like twenty minutes before sword training.” He bounded out of bed and raced around to throw on clothes.
“Okay, um, good luck,” I muttered as I rolled off the bed and went for the door.
“Lynx, will you have dinner with me?” he asked so quietly I almost didn’t hear him.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” I assured him, seeing how nervous he was. I also understood there was something in asking instead of assuming or meeting up. “You buying, or should I bring my wallet?”
He threw back his head and laughed, tossing his towel at me to cover up, making me swear to bring it back so he didn’t have to walk naked to the shower in the morning. Yeah, I could handle that, smiling at how it still smelled like him.
Needless to say I arrived at breakfast in a fairly good mood, not on the outs with him and ready to fix the rest of his doubts.
“Happy birthday, buddy,” Drake greeted as I grabbed my tray, studying me curiously. “You’re awfully happy when you were miserable yesterday. You talk with Gary?”
“Yeah, I jumped him in the shower, and he forgave me.” Then what the rest of what he said sank in. “Did you say it’s my birthday?”
“Gary wasn’t kidding that you’re oblivious,” London chuckled, shaking his head. “And are you going to be in trouble for not telling him it’s your birthday.”
“Why?”
“Dude, I’d throttle Drake if he didn’t tell me. Talk about feeling awkward and looking like a shitty lover to everyone because they didn’t do anything for your birthday. Which isn’t fair because they didn’t know. I mean, don’t you guys throw parties here for each other, and he doesn’t even know?”
“I’m a dead man,” I hissed, knowing someone as cute and sweet as Gary would totally get into birthdays. “Crap, crap, fuck! He just asked me to dinner too. He’s going to beat me.”
“Yeah, he is,” London chuckled, but then full out laughed, only stopping when Drake cracked him on the ass. “Oh, babe, do it again.”
Drake snorted, shaking his head. “Freak.”
“Yes, but we can get into my proclivities later. I suppose you wish to help your clueless friend?”
“Yes, please,” Drake agreed, shooting me a look like I owed him.
“Hey, I don’t bitch when you bring back the vehicles full of dog fur and mud after your hunts when I’m in charge of them,” I reminded him, and he nodded that he did owe me a few or few dozen dozen. “How do I fix this?”
“I’ll talk to him and give testimony that you were freaking and how adorably clueless you were, forgetting your own birthday you were so excited to make up with him.”
I winced, but Drake knew what I was going to say before I could. “He would have forgotten anyways. There hasn’t been a birthday of his he’s remembered since I’ve met him. It’s why we all started keeping track for him because the first year he was here—many moons ago before you were even born—he didn’t get a birthday, not even caring besides he said the cakes looked good.”
“The fact there will be lots of cake tonight should make him happy at least,” I said, trying to comfort myself. And then I burst out laughing after they told me how he was lifting weights while eating donuts, trying to bulk up or get fat so I couldn’t toss him over my shoulder again.
“It was pretty damn cute,” Drake admitted, getting an elbow to his stomach from London for saying another guy was cute.
“Shit, it would be so fun to blow him while he’s moaning over yummy cake,” I groaned, getting hard at the visual.
“You’re so in love if that’s what you want for your damn birthday,” Drake chuckled, clapping me on the back like I was a lost soul now.
I had no problem admitting I was. I was head over heels for my adorable Gary… Bunny collection and all.
7
We just finished the first loop around the camp in our long, several hour run, when London fell into step with me. I shot him a look, and he handed me a bottle of water. I thanked him but gave him a look asking what he was doing here.
“I could use the exercise. Well, some exercise that doesn’t just work my flexibility and durability.”
I spit water all over when his meaning sunk in.
“Nice,” Lance chuckled, one of the new warriors working with some of us to help out Matteo.
“Thanks,” London replied, beaming at how his joke went over well. “So you made up with Lynx, I hear? He was on cloud nine at breakfast.”
“Yeah, I-I think we’re good. I asked him to dinner. He explained some stuff to me and made me see that his coming back again and again made this more than another fuck for his scorecard.”
“That’s good. Drake kept coming back, and I was the idiot who couldn’t do anything but casual. Lynx seems like the type of guy who takes his word seriously, so I’m sure if he said he’s in, he’s in.”
“Did you come run to gossip and give me love advice?” I asked, not sure why he was all about the topic.
“No, but it seems I need to run my lazy ass more often, as I’m not having fun,” he grumbled. “I’ve been lifting and playing with the dogs for runs, but really, they do the running. Damn, Drake was right that I’m getting soft. Bastard.”
“It could be all the talking we’re doing too,” I offered, hating to talk and run, sort of hinting we should stop it.
“Subtle,” he snickered. “I joined this torture and brought up the topic of Lynx because, as he was glowing with happy of making up with you, Drake reminded him it was his birthday, and he’s terrified now you’re going to kill him.”
I tripped over my feet but caught myself before falling. “It’s Lynx’s birthday today and he didn’t tell me?”
“Yeah, he forgot. Like Drake wished him a happy birthday, and he went ‘today’s my birthday?’ Apparently he forgets every year.”
“Shit, I don’t have a present for him.”
“He said he wanted to blow you while watching you eat cake and moaning over how nummy it is.”
“Did you have to announce that to the group,” I bitched, people whistling and giving cat calls over what London said.
“Well, you’re really pissed when I suggest what you should give him for his birthday.”
I thought the inflection was weird, but then it sunk in. Wow, I was a bit slow and, well, London was a dirty, dirty guy.
“We just made up,” I argued.
“Gary, he’s in this. I mean, really in this, and you’re scared because it’s your first time, and that’s cool, but really, I mean, you’re twenty-five. I’m not knocking you for waiting, I wish I’d not given it up so fast, but you like him, right? You said you stalked him you liked him so much. Make it memorable. Make it be tonight with his birthday and the fact you did make up, that he told you he was all in, and be super cute for your first time.”
“How hard was it for you to say all that mushy?” I asked, not thinking he was one to ramble it all out.
“That and I’m regretting that heavy breakfast I thought would be smart,” he answered with a groan. “Dude, trust me when I say it’s the right time and you’re just talking yourself out of what you know because it’s scary. It’s scary to say you’ve found the right one. But just because you’ve had sex doesn’t mean you’re mating. Drake is still waiting for my stupid ass because—well, I gave great blow jobs—but also he loves me.”
“I’d say take your own advice, but yeah, mating is forever, and the smartest thing my mom said she’s ever done was demand an engagement like humans have to make sure it was right.”
“Yes, I agree with your mom. Even if I wasn’t completely a commitmentphobe, I still would. There’s no reason to rush, but there is to have sex. Dude, have sex. Everything is better after sex.”
“Yeah, it is,” Lance agreed. Wally and Bowie nodded with big grins.
I let that sink in as we kept running, taking a few drinks of the water bottle London had given me. There wasn’t anyone else I’d rather give my virginity to other than Lynx. I mean, even if we weren’t forever—which my heart said we were—I still thought he was the right person to be my first. Around and around my head went before I kept settling on one answer.
