by Toni Aleo
“Need us to watch Mena?”
“Yeah, if you don’t mind.”
That was one of the biggest things that Benji loved about the Assassins. Everyone was family. No matter if there was blood involved, though most of it was blood, since everyone was married to someone’s sister. Or someone’s niece was married to someone’s brother. That always made Benji laugh. The Phillip/Jude feud was just hilarious. But other than that, the team was one big family, and Benji appreciated that. He needed that, but he wanted what they all had. He was too old to be like the rookies, fucking around and partying. Plus, he didn’t drink. But sometimes he didn’t fit in with the older guys because he wasn’t married and didn’t have children. Which was another reason he stayed in his room a lot. He just felt left out, but as he sat there, joking with his friends, talking about their families, he was actually upset he hadn’t allowed himself to enjoy this before.
When Jordie took him by his shoulder, shaking him, Benji laughed. “Dude, it’s good having you here!”
Benji grinned as a lot of the other guys nodded in agreement. He had gotten so used to not putting himself in a position where his sobriety could be tested that he had become a recluse. But to his surprise, as his friends drank and hung out, he didn’t even care to drink. His glass of pop was good for him. He watched Jordie, worried about his friend, but Jordie was good too. Being with Kacey and having Ella really woke that dude up.
Benji was jealous of that.
Meeting Jordie’s gaze, he shrugged. “I don’t know why I didn’t come down sooner.”
“’Cause you’re a loner,” Vaughn laughed and everyone joined in.
“Leave him alone. I don’t blame him for liking Game of Thrones more than us,” Jordie added and Benji laughed.
“I don’t know, I think he’s acting different,” Karson said and Lucas nodded.
“Yeah, something is up. I just can’t decide what it could be.”
Lucy.
It was all Lucy.
Or at least, he thought so. He had never felt happier in the last twelve years than he did now. When he wasn’t playing or practicing, he and Lucy were texting or FaceTiming. She was adorable and funny, and he could tell she was hesitant. But, he knew she was slowly getting comfortable with him. She had been so stressed lately, and he hated that. He wanted to fix it, but she wouldn’t let him. She was independent, and that was one of the things he liked so much about her.
She didn’t need anyone.
But the fact that she wanted him somehow meant more.
“Wait, are you dating someone? You getting laid, bro?” Vaughn razzed as he came up behind Benji, shaking him by his shoulders as everyone cut up. “Did our little boy finally lose his virginity?”
That rewarded him with a round of guffaws since everyone knew Benji wasn’t really good with the ladies. Well, he used to not be good with the ladies. Now, he was good. Real good—with one lady. But before, being on a team with thirty guys, it was unheard of that one of them wasn’t getting laid. And of course, all of them had advice. It ranged from hiring a hooker to sleeping with one of their relatives. Everyone had a single sister or cousin or mother. The last always made him cringe. But Benji didn’t have to worry about that anymore. He was talking to the queen of women and it felt good. Real fucking good. Still, though, the guilt was there, but he was trying to get over that. He had to get over that. Or it could have the potential to ruin a damn good thing.
And that couldn’t happen.
No. Lucy and Angie were special, and he refused to hurt them.
He couldn’t.
“Aw, look, our little boy is blushing,” someone said. He thought it was Vaughn, and he just rolled his eyes.
“Oh, shut it,” he laughed, but they didn’t, razzing him to the extreme. But Benji just laughed them off.
He enjoyed it.
He felt like one of them.
It was well past his bedtime, but he was still downstairs with the boys when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Surprised and a little confused, he pulled his phone out to see it was from Lucy. A little grin sat on his lips as he hit her message.
Lucy: You awake?
Benji: Yes, surprisingly. I’m down at the bar with the guys. Hanging out.
Lucy: Oh. Well, call me in the morning.
Lucy: Sorry to bug ya.
Benji: Please. I’ve been thinking about you and you never bug me. What’s up?
Lucy: :) Been thinking about me, huh?
Benji: Yeah, it happens a lot.
Lucy: Well. What about?
Benji: It would take me an hour to text you everything I think about, so how about I call you when I get back up to the room?
Lucy: Boo. I’m about to go to bed. Angie is sleeping with me tonight. She doesn’t like the other room.
Benji: She okay?
Lucy: Yeah, something about the closet. It does look sketchy, but Jayden said he’ll fix it when he gets home.
Benji: Okay, well then, can I call you in the morning?
Lucy: Yeah, I’d like that.
Benji: Me too.
Benji: Goodnight, gorgeous.
Lucy: Night <3
“Aw, are you texting her? Who is she?” Vaughn joked and Benji hid his phone as everyone laughed.
“Get away from me,” Benji laughed, tucking his phone into his pocket and rolling his eyes. When Jayden got up to go to the bar to order some food, Benji watched him and wondered if he should follow him. He had wanted to talk to him since they left for the trip, but he hadn’t had the right moment. Or had the balls to do it. He respected Jayden and knew how much Lucy meant to him. He kind of wanted to be the one to tell him. Man-to-man. But he didn’t want to piss Lucy off by saying something to Jayden. He just didn’t feel right about not saying anything, though. They were kind of in a relationship, weren’t they? He wasn’t sure—that was probably something he should verify with Lucy—but he still felt like he was hiding something and he didn’t like that.
Getting up, he moved past Vaughn as he told a story of himself and a set of triplets. It was a very interesting story, but Benji wanted to talk to Jayden. Plus, he had heard it three times. It was one of Vaughn’s highlights.
Moving across the bar, a girl stopped him.
“Hey, aren’t you Benji Paxton?”
He paused, looking around, confused. “Me?”
“Yeah,” she giggled, her friends looking at him like a piece of meat.
What in the hell?
“Um, yeah, that’s me.”
“I didn’t know you wore glasses—very Clark Kent,” she said. Any other day, he would have said she was hot, especially with her Clark Kent reference, but she wasn’t Lucy.
“Yeah, I can’t see without my contacts,” he said, and then he tapped the table. “Sorry, but I’m meeting my buddy. You ladies have a nice night.”
He went to walk away, but the blonde said, “Maybe with you?”
He looked back, his eyes wide, and then he chuckled.
Figured. He started to talk to someone, and now he was apparently attractive to women.
Whatever.
Waving at her, of course, in the most awkward way possible, he went to the bar where Jayden was. He’d seen the whole thing and was laughing.
“Dude, she wanted the D. Shit. I just sound like my little brother.”
Benji scoffed. “Yeah, no.”
“No? She was basically humping your leg with her eyes,” Jayden commented, shaking his head as the bartender placed a plate of wings in front of him.
Taking one, he put it in his mouth as Benji said, “Actually, I’m good. Which is why I wanted to talk to you.”
Chewing, Jayden’s face scrunched up. “Talk? About what?”
“Um,” Benji said, leaning on the bar as a grin pulled at his lips. “Your sister.”
Jayden stopped eating. “My sister? Lucy?”
He nodded, facing his friend. “Yeah, er, well, I’m kinda into her.”
Jayden’s face took on a look of h
orror as his head tilted to the side. “Lucy? My sister? You’re into her? Wait, am I drunk? Is this real life?”
Benji scoffed. “You haven’t even had a drink tonight.”
“Yeah, but surely I’m hearing you wrong. My sister, Lucy? Angry brunette who could start a fight in an empty room?”
He nodded, a grin pulling at his lips. “Yeah, but she isn’t that bad.”
Jayden didn’t agree, his eyes still wide. “Are you sure? She doesn’t like guys. I think she might be a lesbian. Who wouldn’t be after Rick?”
“No, no, she’s not,” Benji laughed which made Jayden’s brows come together. “We’re actually talking.”
“Talking?”
Benji met his gaze. “Yeah.”
When Jayden didn’t say anything, Benji looked away and sighed. “Listen, I respect you, dude, and I know she means the world to you. We aren’t together or anything yet—”
“Yet? So you’ve already decided this is going somewhere?”
Benji scoffed. “Dude, I’m thirty-two years old. I lost my family twelve years ago. I don’t have time to just fuck around. I want to be happy.”
Jayden sucked in a deep breath. “Man, I hear you and I respect you, you know that. But my sister is tough. She’s been burned bad.”
“I know, but I just wanted to make sure that you know I won’t burn her. I won’t hurt her.”
Jayden nodded slowly. “I wasn’t even worried about that. Really. But she could hurt you.” Benji paused as Jayden’s eyes searched his. “I haven’t seen her with anyone since she and Rick divorced, and it worries me. I want my sister to be happy.”
“Me too,” Benji said. “I’m not one of those guys who—”
“Dude, you don’t have to sell me on you. You’re one of the most stand-up and honest people I’ve ever met. My sister deserves the best. I know, as her brother, I’m supposed to be like, no one is good enough for my sister. But, really, you are. Seriously.”
Benji’s heart warmed as the emotion choked him. He’d never thought he was much of a man. He tried hard to be honest and good to the people he knew, but to hear that from Lucy’s brother meant the world to him. Maybe he was doing something right. Meeting Jayden’s gaze, he nodded. “I would be the luckiest man on earth if I was loved by Lucy and Angie. But like I said, it’s new, only a week, but I wanted to be honest with you.”
“And I appreciate that, I do. Though, remember, Lucy is harsh. But the fact she’s even talking to you and you feel like this could go somewhere means something and, dude, that’s awesome. I miss her smile.”
That was clear and it made Benji’s heart hurt. What did that jackass do to her? It wasn’t Jayden’s place to tell him, and he didn’t want to hear it from him, but he needed to know. When Jayden looked back at him, he didn’t smile as he asked, “Does she know about Leary and Ava?”
Benji swallowed hard as he shook his head. “Not yet. I’m waiting for the right time to tell her.”
“And I assume she hasn’t told you about Rick the dick?”
Benji shook his head. “No, but I’ve met the dude and wanted to punch him in the face.”
“Yeah, he has that effect on people,” he laughed and then shook his head. “Well, I’m rooting for you two. I hope it works out. Just know it won’t be easy. Nothing is easy with Lucy.”
“Funny, she said the same thing.”
“Yeah, ’cause she makes it hard as hell,” he said, exhaling a breath. “She’s headstrong, very do-it-herself. I mean, you know about the shop and shit?” Benji nodded and Jayden threw up his hands. “I told her, stay with us till you get things figured out. She wants to rent a hotel when I get home Friday. She’s fucking insane.”
“A hotel?” he asked and Jayden shook his head.
“Yeah, she’s driving me up the wall. I almost want to rent her an apartment just so I know she’s good, but she would kill me.”
“Yeah, she doesn’t take handouts well.”
Jayden scoffed. Hard. “Dude, you have no idea. She’s got everyone so stressed out because she’s so stressed. I’m about to glue her ass to my house.”
Benji smiled. “I offered my house, but apparently, that’s weird.”
Jayden laughed. “Yeah, it is.”
Benji grinned. “Well, I just want them to be safe.”
Jayden cupped his shoulder. “I know, dude, but somehow, she’s always okay. It’s crazy, but she is always good. She’s just like that.”
“Yeah, well, it’s time for her to be better than good,” Benji said and Jayden smiled.
“Man, I hope you stick around.”
He laughed as he met his friend’s gaze. “I’m not going anywhere.”
And he wasn’t.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
Lucy’s face burned as her lips curved while she pulled out of the school parking lot after dropping Angie off. From where her phone sat on her dashboard, Benji watched as she turned onto the main street. She had said she would call him, but when he ignored her call to FaceTime her, she decided she liked that more. She liked seeing his face, especially when he was all tired and sleepy. She also very much liked when he called her beautiful. Particularly when she felt like she looked like dog shit. But under Benji’s gaze, she felt like a princess.
It was really fucking stupid, childish almost, but she sort of, maybe, liked it.
“Morning. Late night? You look tired.”
He smiled. “Yeah, I didn’t get back to the room until two. Those dudes are crazy. We have to be at the rink for morning skate in an hour. I’m dead.”
“Aw, does that mean I won’t get my goal tonight? I mean, you got Angie one. Where is mine?” she teased and he laughed.
“I’m getting there, I can feel it.”
“Well, you have one more night,” she reminded him as she turned onto the interstate. She was heading to Rayne’s house to pick her up to run some errands.
“Yeah, I know. But the question is, if I don’t come through, will I still get a kiss tomorrow when I see you?”
She met his gaze for a moment as she chewed her lip before looking back to the road. “Benji, my family will all be there and so will Angie. I don’t know.”
“We can sneak off like kids.”
“’Cause no one would suspect anything,” she said sarcastically and he smiled.
“I want to kiss you, and I’m going to.”
She sucked in a breath, her belly going crazy with butterflies. “I don’t know.”
“You’ll see.”
Her lips curved. “Well, one thing is for sure—I’m excited to see you. Like, the real you.”
“Yeah, Ms. Change the Subject,” he accused and she grinned.
“I’m not changing anything. We were done.”
“Okay, I wasn’t.”
“Oh?” she asked, turning off the interstate.
“Yeah,” he said and she watched as he sat up, his bare chest coming on the screen as he repositioned the phone. “Never mind.”
“Never mind?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, nothing. What are you doing?”
It wasn’t nothing, and she didn’t like that. Glaring, she snapped, “No, what? Why aren’t we done? You got something to say?”
He shook his head. “Nothing, I’m just tired.”
“Ha, and you say I lie a lot,” she accused as she pulled onto Rayne’s street. “Don’t hold back, Benji. If you’ve got something to say, please say it.”
“You’re being snarky, missy.”
“Because you’re holding back,” she said simply as she pulled into Rayne’s driveway. “What? Are you mad that I won’t kiss you in front of my kid?”
“Lucy, I didn’t say that, and I don’t want to fight with you—”
Frustrated, she let out an angry sigh. But she knew it wasn’t all his fault. Before she’d dropped Angie, she’d gotten the call that she would be getting a refund on her apartment and shop because they weren’t sure they’d have the money to fix it. The damage was mo
re extensive than they’d thought, and the landlord’s daughter was scared Lucy would sue. She wouldn’t. They were good people and honest, but it fucking sucked. She was pissed, she was annoyed, and she sure as hell didn’t like how much she missed Benji.
Glaring at him, she snapped, “I told you this wouldn’t work. I have a kid—”
“Jesus, woman, shut up,” he said sternly and she glared, but her lips slammed shut.
What the hell?
“Don’t tell me to shut up,” she snapped and he glared back.
“No, why are you so pissy? What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Lucy.”
“Fuck, fine. I got word that I can’t go back to my shop or my apartment.”
His shoulders fell. “I’m sorry. I know how much you loved it there.”
“Yeah, it’s whatever. I’ll be fine.”
He shook his head. “Yeah, but don’t snap at me.”
She shrugged. “Sorry.”
He held her gaze. “All I was saying was that I fucking miss you, Lucy, and the first thing I want to do when I see you is wrap you in my arms and kiss you stupid. But I get it. We aren’t even together and it’s wrong of me to want that, especially with Angie being there. You’re right, it’s just hard. I get that you’re upset and I’m sorry, but stop throwing Angie in my face. I know you have a kid, and I adore your kid. So, yeah, I’ll respect your boundaries. Just know it’s fucking hard, but I’ll respect them.”
Why was he so great? And why was it becoming really difficult to keep her heart locked up? She swallowed hard as she looked down at her lap. If she was honest, what he said was what she wanted. She missed him so damn much, which was just dumb and irrational on her part. Like he said, they weren’t together. They were just talking. But that night together, wrapped in his arms as he bestowed those kisses on her had spoiled her. The fact he called her beautiful any chance he got had also fueled her need to see him in person, but that was insane. And the way he was with her when she was being a fucking bitch was award-winning. But they were just talking.
Weren’t they?
Letting out a long breath, she looked back at the phone to find him watching her. “We’ve only been talking a week, Benji—”
“It feels like years,” he said then and her lips quirked.
