by Toni Aleo
“Two days, my love. Just two. Just go,” Lucy heard her mom say. “Just two.”
“Grandma, I don’t want to!”
“I know, my love, but you have to,” she said softly.
Rick was breathing hard, glaring at Lucy. “This is all your fucking fault,” he seethed, but she shook her head.
“No, it’s yours. You’ve made it to where she doesn’t want you,” she spat back, her heart breaking.
“Mommy, I don’t want to go,” Angie cried, her fingers still biting into Lucy’s waist.
Lucy looked down at her sweet baby and slowly nodded as she cupped her face. “I know, baby. I’m so sorry.” Angie’s little lip quivered as her tears rushed down her cheeks. With all the strength she had, Lucy whispered, “Only two days.”
“And then Benji will be home?”
“Who the fuck cares? Get in the car!” Rick yelled, but Lucy nodded.
“He will be and he’ll be so proud that you were strong and went. We both will.”
Angie’s bottom lip puckered out and then she nodded slowly, letting go of Lucy. Rick went to grab her, but she moved out of his way, glaring up at him. “Stop! You’re so mean.”
“Get in the car, now.”
“I’m going!” she yelled back, her tears streaming down her face. Angie shook her head and looked back at Lucy. “I love you, Mommy.”
“I love you more,” she said, her voice breaking as the sobs suffocated her. “I’m so sorry.”
But Angie just shrugged resignedly, grabbing her bag from Autumn and then walking toward his car. Getting in, Rick looked back at Lucy and glared.
“Thanks for ruining our fucking weekend.”
“If anyone ruined anything—a weekend, a relationship—it was you, Rick Hart, and you’ll have to live with that,” Autumn spat at him. “You will be completely alone one day, and then what?”
“Whatever, lady. You watch—when I win, I’ll make sure you never see her again.”
Autumn took a step toward him. “Bring it, asshole.”
Rick laughed, stepping back as Lucy clung to River, crying so hard, it hurt everywhere. As Lucy watched Rick drive off, Angie looked back at them, her little tears falling as she waved slowly.
It was enough to make Lucy wish she were dead.
It was almost midnight when Benji FaceTimed her.
When she hit answer and the little box of herself appeared in the corner, she could see she looked like death. Her face was red and swollen; she had cried until she couldn’t cry anymore, and her heart just ached.
“Hey, baby,” he whispered and she tried to smile, but nothing moved. No, she was frozen in a state of turmoil. “It didn’t go well?”
“No,” she answered, shaking her head as she rubbed her face against his pillow. “He tried to yank her away from me, Benji. And she clung to me, crying for me not to make her go. I couldn’t do anything. I just cried and, River, bless him, he was holding me, telling me it was okay, but it wasn’t. It was horrible.”
Benji’s brow furrowed as he shook his head. “I’m sure you handled it like a boss, but still, I’m so sorry, baby.”
A certain kind of calm washed over her, her heart slowing a bit as she nodded. “She was so strong, though. She let me go and she went of her own accord.”
“Of course, she did. She’s your child.”
“She is,” she agreed, wiping away a tear. “I hate him so much, Benji. You know where he is going for Christmas?”
“Where?”
“To Disney World, but he can’t afford to take Angie.”
Benji scoffed. “Thought he had all kinds of money.”
“Apparently not.”
“That piece of shit. Whatever, that’s fine. We’ll take her to Disney World, and you better believe I’ll make sure she sleeps in Cinderella’s castle.”
Lucy smirked. “Only, like, celebrities can sleep in there.”
He made a face. “I’m a professional athlete. Don’t you worry, I’ll get us up there.”
She smiled, shaking her head. “You’re crazy.”
“About you, I know,” he said with a wink and her heart fluttered. Shaking his head, he curved his lips as he whispered, “I don’t know how I am going to make it until tomorrow. To see you.”
“I don’t either.”
“It will be hard.”
“But we’ll make it.”
“Yup,” he agreed, lying back in his bed, his hair falling in his face. “Are you at my house?”
She shrugged, a grin pulling at her lips. “Yeah, I didn’t want to go home and have Baylor be all over me as I cried.”
“Yeah, I mean, you can move in tomorrow if you want.”
She rolled her eyes. “Anyway…great game.”
He chuckled as his lips turned up in a big grin. “I got four penalties ’cause every dude I saw was Rick.”
“That’s awesome in my opinion.”
He laughed as he nodded. “I guess. Your brother was just as bad. Apparently your mom called all the boys, crying ’cause you wouldn’t answer the phone. She told Jayden you were so strong and she was so proud of you and Angie, but he didn’t give me details.”
“She was great, but she did try to make me come home with her and River. Had to get out of that quick.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, you’ve seen enough family members having sex.”
“Right? Gosh,” she said as she ran her fingers through her hair. “I have such a headache and I’m so tired.”
“Go to bed. Or better yet, go take a bath.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to move, and I also don’t want to drop my phone in the bathtub.”
He grinned. “Shoot, I was hoping to see you naked,” he said with a wink, and she smiled back.
“Perv.”
“Only on days that end in ‘Y.’”
Rolling her eyes, she laughed. Leaning back into the pillows, she smiled as she held his gaze. She missed him so much and couldn’t wait for him to be home. Clearing her throat, she said what she had been thinking about like mad when she wasn’t thinking about killing Rick. “I was pretty surprised to hear Angie tell you she loved you.”
He smiled, his face brightening before her eyes. God, he was so beautiful when he looked at her like that. “That girl. Man, she has my heart.”
Grinning, Lucy nodded. “And I think you have hers.”
She wanted to tell him he had her heart. That she loved him. But she wanted to do it in person. She wanted to feel his skin under her fingers as she whispered the words. She wanted to see his eyes get brighter, feel his kisses after he whispered the words back to her. Because she was pretty sure he was in love with her too. No, she knew he was, and it was insane and crazy, but he was her insane and crazy. And she loved him.
With everything inside of her.
“I hope so. I promise, Lucy, I just want to do right by you guys.”
“You are,” she said, her throat thick with emotion.
“Good,” he said with a nod.
“You’ll be a great dad again one day, Benji. That’s for sure,” she said. She wasn’t sure why she’d said that. She just knew it, though. She prayed that one day was with her, but there was a chance it wouldn’t be. She hated that she still thought like that, but maybe she was just one fucked-up chick. Who knew? But, Benji, he grinned at the possibility.
“I hope so. Which, by the way, you’re down for more kids, right?”
She laughed, making a face. “Whoa, what?”
“Whoa, what, what? You’re the only one I’m making babies with.”
Her eyes widened. “Me?”
“You. How many?”
She giggled. “I don’t know, crazy!”
“Really?” he asked and she shook her head, her laughter subsiding. She had always thought she would have a big family like her mom did.
Swallowing hard but feeling completely silly, she said, “No, I do want more kids.”
“Like five more.”
“Jesus tak
e the wheel. Benjamin, are you insane?”
That had him laughing from the gut. “Okay, four.”
“One more.”
“What? Two more,” he persisted and she laughed.
“How are we planning kids when, one, we aren’t married, two, we aren’t even living together, and three, we haven’t even proclaimed our love for each other,” she asked.
When he went to say something, she stopped him. “And if you are in love with me, do not—and I repeat, do not—do that over the phone.”
He nodded. “Fair enough.”
Fair enough?
She glared. “Great. Now I’m going to analyze that.”
He laughed. “As long as you’re smiling, you can analyze anything you want.”
Grinning ear to ear, she and her heart couldn’t handle it. This was too deep, too serious, and she just couldn’t right now. “Fine, lower that phone so I can analyze what’s in your pants.”
His cheeks reddened a bit. “Who’s the perv now? Pervie McPerv.”
Leaning on the pillows as she laughed, she knew she would never love anyone the way she loved Benjamin Paxton.
Now she just had to tell him that.
In person.
When Benji saw his house, he was nearly bouncing in his seat.
It had been thirteen long days without Lucy’s kisses and Angie’s hugs.
He was ready to be home.
To be with his girls.
The Assassins did great, winning seven of the nine games they played on the road. The defense was getting their shit together. The boys were finally playing as a team, and while he was proud of them, he just wanted to be home. He wanted to see Lucy; he wanted to take her in his arms and tell her he had loved her from the moment he saw her. He wanted her to know that he would stand beside her and support her through all the shit with Rick.
He wanted her to move in.
Marry him.
Have his babies.
Crazy, yes, as fuck, but he didn’t care. Lucy Sinclair was his soul mate.
The love of his life and nothing could ever change that.
Was there guilt? Yes, but he was going to have to deal with that because God gave him Lucy and Angie. Maybe as a reward for cleaning up and being a decent man. He wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t letting them go. He hoped, prayed that Ava and Leary were up in heaven, happy for him, and he hoped one day he would get to see them again and apologize for everything. But until then, he was going to live the greatest life he could with Lucy and Angie, honoring their memory in the process.
Pulling into the driveway, he could see the lights were on downstairs. He saw Lucy moving through the living room, and a grin pulled at his lips. She had said the design was done, and while he was excited to see it, his only concern was her. Getting out of the car, he left his bags and all but ran to the front door. Before he could open it, she did, her face so bright and happy, he couldn’t speak.
He reached for her, pulling her against him as his lips crashed into hers. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him hard, their hearts beating together as one. Nuzzling her nose in his neck, she whispered, “I needed this hug.”
“Me too, baby,” he said roughly against her shoulder. “So fucking bad.”
He squeezed her once more and she smiled against his neck as she hugged him back. He just felt right.
He was home.
Pulling away, she grinned up at him. “Now, before you take me up against whatever surface you can find, please let me show you this design. I’m so proud of it.”
He eyed her. “Will you be naked at the end?”
“No, but that’s because I need you to focus,” she added when he groaned.
“Can’t we bang for a couple hours and then come and look at the design? Thirteen days, Lucy. Thirteen.”
“Can we not talk about banging where the neighbors can hear you?”
“No,” he said bluntly and she laughed.
“Dork! I get it and I want you, but I really want you to see what I’ve done. Angie helped too.”
He shook his head. “Dirty, throwing Angie in like that.”
She grinned. “I know, come on,” she said, pulling him inside. When she closed the door behind her, his lips curved as he took in his now grown-up living room. She had done an amazing job, the light and dark grays playing off each other with the dark gray sectional. “So everything is superchic. Like, this is top-of-the-line awesomeness, and let me just say, that TV was a pain to hang. I had to hire four dudes to do it,” she said, running her hand along the bottom of the TV as he laughed.
“Should have seen me and Shea carrying that sucker in.”
“I bet! So I left space on the walls for maybe one day hanging candids of you and people you love and shit,” she said offhandedly, but before he could say anything else, she was pulling him into the kitchen. She had done it with a very clean, slick look and it shone in there. “This is my favorite spot,” she said, pointing to the little nook where she had put a big, fluffy chair and side table. “Figure when I come over, I’ll be here.”
He nodded. “Looks perfect for you.”
“I thought so,” she said with a wink, dragging him back into the living room and over to the stairs. “Another favorite part.”
He looked up at the wall next to the stairs and every single hockey picture she could find was hanging up along the stairwell. “Wow.”
“Yeah, isn’t it amazing? And let me say, you pack like a man.”
He scoffed. “I am a man.”
“Whatever,” she said, pointing to a frame that had a very elaborate drawing of him in it. “Angie did that for you.”
His face broke into a grin as read the little message she had put on it. “‘My favorite player, Benji Paxton. #20. Love, Angie. But don’t tell Jude, Jayden, or Jace.’ Well, at least she covers her bases.”
Lucy nodded. “She’s a smart girl.”
“Yeah, she is,” he agreed as they went into his collectible room. “Wow, Lucy,” he said, taking in the glass cases she had installed with his collectibles on display in all their glory. On the south wall was another big TV and his gamer chair. “This is my man cave.”
“Yeah, and apparently, these toys are a big deal. The guys I hired were annoying about them all.”
“They are,” he said dryly, smacking her butt playfully when she rolled her eyes. “Collectibles.”
“Yeah, okay, come on,” she said then, laughing as she pulled him into the first bathroom and then the first bedroom. “So, I know this is silly, and you said you wanted this to be a guest room, but I figured two guest rooms were unnecessary, so I left it empty in here.”
He nodded. “For Angie, when you finally decide to move in.”
“Okay, so that wasn’t silly of me?”
“No, you should have just moved her stuff in.”
She rolled her eyes. “Let’s wait and make sure.”
“What in the hell are we waiting for?” he shot back at her, but she shook her head, moving down the hall.
“Anyway…” she said, blowing out a long breath and flashing him a grin before leading him to the other bedroom that was a guest room and his office. More sports memorabilia was hanging on the walls and it was awesome. He loved it. But his bedroom was probably his favorite. She had done lots of blues with accents of white and gray.
It was perfect.
He smiled up at her, but then something caught his eye. Going around the bed, he looked at the wall that held a picture of a very young version of him and how he remembered Ava, her blond hair up in a messy bun, sweat dripping down her face as she held a brand-new Leary. He gripped his chest, emotion choking him as took in the beautiful picture. It was the day Ava had given birth to Leary, after a long and horrible labor. Leary had gotten stuck and it was scary, but Ava had been a champ. He could still remember her cries as she pushed their daughter out, and how afterward, he had gone out and gotten shit-faced to celebrate Leary’s arrival.
He was so pathetic.<
br />
It was almost too much to bear and his eyes flooded with tears. “That day was awesome. Leary was so beautiful,” he whispered.
“She was.”
“I went out and got drunk that night. Didn’t even go back to the hospital, stayed at a buddy’s house. Ava was so mad at me, for good reason.”
Coming up beside him, Lucy reached out, straightening the frame. “Well, she would be proud of who you are today.”
His lips curved slightly as he took in the picture, his heart aching.
“I hope you don’t mind, though, that I hung it. I found the picture in the shed, had it enlarged, and then framed it. I thought it was nice and a good memorial for them. And then, I added us,” she said with a laugh. He looked down at the picture of Angie, Lucy, and him getting ice cream two weeks before. He choked on a sob as he nodded. It was a great picture, all of them making silly faces, and God, he loved them.
“It’s perfect,” he somehow forced out. “I went to AA when we were in LA, and I talked about you, Angie, Ava, and Leary. How I felt guilty.”
His voice broke, and Lucy’s hand came to rest on his. “Why would you feel guilty?”
Glancing over at her, his eyes were hazy with tears as he whispered, “Because I never thought I could let go of my first love, that I could actually meet someone, and then that I could love that someone. Until I met you and Angie.”
“Oh, Benji,” she said, her eyes clouding as he turned, taking her face in his hands. “You can’t feel guilty for that. You have to do what makes you happy.”
He nodded. “And that’s you. Lucy, I love you so much it’s dangerous,” he said roughly, his thumbs moving along her cheeks. “It’s dangerous because it consumes me and it happened so damn fast. I swear I fell for you the moment you looked at me with that furrowed brow and snapped at me. You made me suffer for a week until, finally, I got you. And then you thought I was going to let you go? Please, you were mine. From that moment on. I swear on everything, my heart, my soul, my body… I’m yours until the day I take my last breath. I love you. I love you so fucking much.”
When a tear rolled down her face, his heart swelled in his chest as she held his gaze. “I think I’ve always loved you, but I fought it. I’m sorry I’m a pain in the ass, but I love you too, Benji. More than you love me.”
