by L. D. Davis
“Look at me!” I yelled.
He froze with his back to me. After a few seconds he turned around and looked at me.
“What the hell is going on?” I demanded. “Were you high when you went all Hulk on the house? Are you high now?”
“I wasn’t high,” he said quietly. “I was drunk, and angry. As much as I want to push something up my nose, I’m not.”
I felt an overwhelming sense of relief at hearing that from him. My whole body seemed to relax some, not completely, but some.
“Where are you going and why are you talking to me as if you’re never going to see me again?” I asked, my trembling voice betraying me.
“I have to go to London to get them up and running,” he said, still using that quiet voice.
“For how long?”
He shrugged. “A few months. A year. I’m not sure.”
“I’ll go with you,” I said, totally forgetting that I broke up with him a few days ago.
“I don’t want you to go with me, Lily,” he said. “I want you to stay here in the penthouse and take care of yourself and the baby. Just live your life. You don’t have to work if you don’t want to; I’ll always take care of you – both of you.”
My head was spinning. I covered my eyes with my hands, trying to comprehend what was happening.
“I don’t understand what’s happening here,” I said, frustrated and scared.
“I’m giving you what you want. I’m leaving you alone.”
“I don’t want that anymore,” I said, feeling tears threatening to squeeze out of my eyes. “I don’t want that.”
“I want it,” he said with such conviction it took my breath away.
“I love you, Kyle. I don’t care what happened in the past. Stay here or I’ll come with you – don’t cut me off.”
He looked at me for a long moment and I could not doubt the sadness that he felt. “I will call you once in a while to see how things are going with the pregnancy, see if you need anything,” he said as he turned away.
I stood there crying as he continued talking.
“You don’t have to send money to your family anymore. They are taken care of. There’s more than enough money in your account or theirs to take the kids to Disney. Gavin will really like the Lego store.”
I moved across the trashed floor to Kyle’s side. I squeezed myself between him and the bed, forcing him to drop the clothes he had in his hands. His eyes were glazed with unshed tears as he looked down at me. He put his hand in my hair with one hand and stroked my cheek with the other. He tilted my head and ran his nose down the side of my face and down my ear until his lips reached the stars under my neck. I sighed when he tasted me there. When his lips finally met mine, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him back, hard. Kyle groaned as I repeatedly flicked my tongue with his and his hand tightened into a fist in my hair. He kissed me as if he wanted to climb into my mouth. I certainly wanted to climb into his.
I put my hands under his shirt and touched the bare skin of his back before slipping my hands into the waistband of his jeans and squeezing his bare ass. Kyle grunted and moved his hands down to my ass and squeezed while pulling me against him. When he pulled away, I started to object, but he grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled my shirt over my head before taking his off. He reached behind me, grabbed the suitcase and threw it on the floor, uncaring that all of the things he had just carefully put in there were now on the floor.
When he kissed me again, his hands got to work unbuttoning the jean shorts I was wearing. He pulled them off with my panties at the same time. He quickly got out of his own pants without taking his lips off of mine before pushing me back on the bed.
No words were said when he broke the kiss to kiss down my throat and across my chest. When I felt his tongue on a nipple, I groaned and gripped at his hair. His tongue swirled around the hard bud before he sipped it into his mouth. He moved to the other one after a minute, giving it equal attention before kissing his way down my belly, scooping his tongue into my navel and continuing down to my hot and waiting sex. He pressed my legs open as he settled between them. He nipped at one inner thigh and then the other, making me jump but anticipate what was coming next.
Kyle carefully spread me open, exposing me to his hot breath and warm tongue, and then I felt his tongue flick across my clit. I cried out as he repeatedly flicked my clit with his tongue. When he pushed two fingers inside of me and started that “come hither” motion, I knew what he was attempting to do. He attacked my clit with his mouth, sucking and nibbling and licking as his fingers were busy inside of me. One of his hands was pressing down just above my pubic bone, applying pressure to the pressure he was already applying from the inside. It was too fucking much. The bottom half of my body bucked against him as I felt my body reacting to his ministrations.
“Suck your nipples,” Kyle commanded against my sex.
I complied, immediately, though I knew it would throw me over the top. The second my mouth closed over my nipple I started to fall to pieces. My body jerked as I came all over my lover’s face. I screamed incoherent words and tore at the sheets beneath me. Kyle groaned as he tasted me and continued licking my wet cunt. Before I could begin to recover from the explosive orgasm, he was on top of me, kissing me as he pushed his hard cock inside of my sensitive sex.
“Lily,” he breathed my name as he held his dick deep inside of me.
I gripped his face in my hands and kissed him deeply, passionately, trying to give him all of my love in this one kiss. Kyle’s hands moved under my ass and pulled me up to meet his slow deep thrusts. We were hot and sweaty as our bodies slapped against each other. I could hear how wet I was as he drove into me.
“I love you,” he panted before his mouth found the sensitive flesh on my shoulder. He kissed and then bit down, making me cry out as his thrusts became deeper and harder. After the bite, he kissed me there to soothe the little pain he had given.
“Kyle,” I groaned. “I love you so much,” I cried out as my orgasm hit me.
Grunting incoherent words, Kyle started to come, pumping me hard as he shot rope after rope of cum inside of me. As his orgasm subsided, he lazily continued to stroke himself inside of me while he kissed me. He was still hard and I still wanted him.
“Again?” I whispered, stroking his hair.
In response, he dipped his head to suck a nipple into his mouth. I took that as a yes.
*~~~*
I woke up alone in Kyle’s bed. It was the sound of someone knocking on his bedroom door that startled me awake. Kyle wouldn’t knock on the door…would he? I pulled the sheets up to my chin and told whoever was on the other side to come in.
A woman wearing a uniform for a cleaning service poked her head in.
“I’m sorry, Miss,” she said. “I’ll come back later.”
“Wait,” I said, stopping her. “What are you doing?”
“We’re cleaning the house?” she answered in a question. She looked a little uncomfortable to be standing there with the door open while I was naked under the sheets. It was only then that I heard several vacuums running throughout the house and what sounded like a lot of chattering. I had forgotten about the cleaning service coming in to clean.
“Umm, give me a couple of minutes to get dressed,” I told her. Before she could close the door, I stopped her again. “Where is Mr. Sterling?”
“Who?”
“Mr. Sterling? The man who called your company?”
“Oh. He left right after we got here. He gave us some directions and left.”
“Thank you,” I said, swallowing hard. I had a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
As soon as the woman closed the door, I jumped out of bed and went into the bottom drawer of Kyle’s bureau where I kept some of my own clothes. It used to be a pain in the ass to have to go all the way back to my room for clothes. I kept just basic things in there – bras, underwear, a couple of pairs of pants and a couple of shirts. I grabbed what I need
ed and hurried into the bathroom to take an amazingly fast shower. I dressed just as quickly before stepping back into the bedroom. I looked around, but the suitcase Kyle had been packing earlier was gone.
I threw open the door and almost crashed into the same woman.
“Did Mr. Sterling leave with a suitcase?” I asked.
She looked reluctant to answer, but slowly nodded yes. She immediately scurried away into the bedroom with her cleaning stuff. With a heavy heart, I went downstairs and zigzagged through the team of cleaners and went into the office. The office was already cleaned up. I didn’t think Kyle would let strangers into his office. I imagined he cleaned it himself.
I sat down in the chair and stared at an envelope with my name on it. It took me a few minutes to get the nerve to pick it up and open it. A micro SD card fell onto the desk. I looked at it quizzically. It looked like it came out of a phone. I put that down and pulled out the handwritten, one page letter.
Lily,
By the time you read this, I should be on my way to London. I’ll forward you an address and phone number where I can be reached as soon as I can, but I do not want you to make a trip out there.
I know life will be hard for a little while. I know you are scared and you never intended to be in this position alone. I apologize from the bottom of my heart, but I can’t be the one there with you. As I said before, I will always take care of you and the baby, and I’ll check up on you from time to time, but you deserve a stable man without a tainted past, someone who needs you as much as he loves you, someone who will bend over backward to keep you happy, as well as safe, and secure. You deserve someone who isn’t selfish, who puts your needs and desires above his own.
Please take full advantage of everything I leave to you: my cars, the penthouse, the money, and whatever else you have access to. I know you won’t like it, but Corsey will be keeping an eye on you. Enjoy your bar when it opens. You will be a great success.
I’ll Love You Always,
Kyle
I was so over crying. Now I was angry. He fucked me to knock me out and then escaped while I was snoozing, and had the nerve to leave me a Dear Lily letter!
I balled up the piece of paper and threw it across the room. I slammed my hand on the desk and noticed the little black card jump. I had forgotten about it that quickly. I would have loved to plug it into my laptop, but it was busted on the floor in my bedroom. I went upstairs to Kyle’s room where three girls were busy cleaning. I moved around them and grabbed my purse. I took my phone out, careful not to knock out any of the pictures of Emmy. I carried my purse and the phone back down to the office and sat down as I dialed.
“Corsey,” Corsey said when he answered his phone.
“Corsey, are you around?”
“Yes, what’s up?” he asked.
“Can you come by with your laptop?”
“Be there in five.”
“So, that’s what it’s like to have someone at my disposal,” I murmured to myself as I looked at the card in my hand.
True to his word, Corsey appeared in the doorway of the office five minutes later, carrying his laptop.
“I have this card and nothing to plug it into,” I said, holding it up.
“Yeah,” he grimaced as he put the laptop down in front of me. “I’m really sorry about that.”
“You were here?” I looked up at him in surprise.
He shrugged. “I was around. Had to keep him from going off the deep end.”
I gestured wildly towards the living room and other rooms. “That’s not going off the deep end?”
He looked grim. “Lily, you know how much worse that could have been…”
Of course he was talking about the drugs. Kyle had only been drunk and angry. It could have been far worse, and if I showed up while he was still binging, it could have been a whole lot of physical pain to go with my emotional pain.
“You’re right,” I nodded, firing up the laptop.
I plugged the SD card into the slot and chose the option of looking at pictures. The program that opened the file automatically set the photos on a slide show. The first picture to pop up on the screen was a picture of me sleeping. Half a dozen more were of me sleeping. I was pretty sure they were taken in the hotel room we stayed at in Ohio. Then there were pictures of me smiling at the camera, pictures of the two of us smiling at the camera. There were at least two dozen pictures of me with my nieces and nephew. I couldn’t help but to smile as I looked at how happy I was to be with them. I was glowing and not anything like I glow after Kyle and I have a wild night. When a picture popped up of Kyle and Gavin rough housing in Lydia’s backyard, it made my heart ache. He had no idea how happy he had made that kid over those few days. He had no idea that he was more than capable of making someone happy or that he could be a good dad. What he said to Gavin that first day was probably the best set of words I ever heard come out of his mouth. He had no idea how happy it made me and how much more I fell in love with him at that moment, and he’d never know because he chose to walk away.
I guess I wasn’t over the crying after all.
Corsey discretely stepped out of the room while I sat in front of the laptop crying over the man that was and could have been.
Chapter Eighteen
*~Lily~*
I sat down at the small table across from a smiling Felicia Sterling. I couldn’t deny her beauty and where Kyle got his good looks. Her dark hair was no longer strung with gray, her figure had improved, and her eyes were lively and no longer dead looking. She had called me at work a couple of days before to ask me to lunch. I guess she had some apologizing to do for what happened months ago. I took the day off for my mid-morning doctor’s appointment. I didn’t really need the whole day for that, but the last thing I felt like doing was sitting at work after being violated at the OB/GYN.
“Thank you for meeting me, Lily,” she said with a big smile. “You are looking well. How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” I said, not returning her smile.
“I thought we could meet to discuss the baby,” she grinned.
“How long have you known?” I asked suspiciously.
“I spoke to Kyle last weekend. He sounds terrible.”
A waiter appeared just then to take our orders. I ordered a glass of water and a bowl of soup while Felicia ordered salad, no dressing, and a cup of hot tea with lemon.
“Is that all you’re eating?” she asked me with disapproval. “You should eat more; it will be good for the baby.”
“Let’s cut to the chase, Felicia,” I said, putting my palms flat on the table. “We’re not friends and I’m not sure if I really want you to be a part of my baby’s life.”
Her face fell. She took a moment to answer me. “Are you still angry about what you witnessed all of those months ago?”
“Am I still angry that you and your asshole ex-husband have been verbally and physically abusing Kyle his entire life? You bet your sweet, rich ass I am angry. Am I still angry that the only way you know how to apologize to your son is by taking him to brunch? Fuck yeah, I’m angry. You have no idea the damage you have done.”
Her eyes flitted around the restaurant, worried that someone overheard me, but I really didn’t care if anyone had overheard me. I had been without Kyle for over two months. He only called me once a week if I was lucky and never spoke for more than five minutes. He sounded as terrible as I felt, but he was adamant that we couldn’t be together, that he was not good for me. If he didn’t feel good enough, it wasn’t by my doing, but it started at home when he was a child. Having the opportunity to finally lay it out for his mother was one I was going to use well and to hell with anyone who overheard.
“You don’t understand,” she started in a soft voice.
“I know you have psychiatric issues, Felicia, I’m not faulting you on that, but you treat your son like shit. You keep abusing him and he keeps coming back for more, desperate for you to show him even a little bit of love, but you keep kicking h
im down. You blame him for Walt’s death - ”
“I don’t blame him,” she interjected, looking at me as if I were crazy.
“You do, too! Do you not remember the things you say to him when you’re off your meds?”
She blinked hard as she sat there staring at me, now oblivious to anyone who may be watching or listening. “He knows I don’t mean it,” she whispered.
“Does he? Are you sure about that? Because he feels pretty damn guilty and I’m pretty damn sure it’s coming from you and Walter. You never actually say ‘I’m sorry, Kyle’ and you never actually tell him that you don’t blame him and when has he ever heard you tell him you love him?
“My baby’s father hates himself. He doesn’t think he’s good enough for me of all people and he doesn’t think he’s good enough to be a dad. He’s had some real problems along the way, but it started with you and that asshat ex of yours. I watched him take a beating from Walter once, so that Walter wouldn’t go home and beat you. How many times did that happen? How many times did that happen and you not appreciate it?”
I let out a sound of exasperation and stood up. I was getting so stressed out telling her what a bitch she was and it probably wouldn’t matter in the long run. I walked away from her without another word. I got outside to the sidewalk where Corsey was waiting for me at the Escalade.
“Everything cool?” he asked, looking at my flushed face.
“Nothing’s cool!” I snapped as I started to get into the car.
“Lily, wait,” Felicia called behind me. She looked up at Corsey. “Corsey, can you drive me home? It will give me a chance to talk privately with Lily.”
“Yes, ma’am, if it’s okay with Lily,” he said. I was thankful that he took my side.
I nodded my assent and climbed in and moved over to the other side.
“What about your car, Mrs. Sterling?” Corsey asked as she slid in.
