by Linda Ford
“Sadie went to see the lawyer last night to find out what she could do to keep you.”
Beth continued to look at her book, but Logan knew she wasn’t reading. She hadn’t turned a page in a long time.
“The lawyer said we would need more than suspicions to convince a judge. More than the scars on Sammy’s back. The lawyer said we had no proof Mr. Perrin is responsible.”
Her head came up and she regarded him seriously.
Now that he had her attention, he moved closer and sat on the floor facing her. “The lawyer said if you would tell us what has happened and what the man has done, it would make a difference.”
The hope fled her eyes and she ducked her head again.
“Beth, why are you so afraid of your stepfather?”
His questions fell to the floor, unanswered. He waited, hoping Beth would change her mind, but she closed the book, rose to her feet and returned to the kitchen without a backward look.
The morning dragged by. He knew Jesse and Mr. Perrin should be back by noon. About eleven he gave up trying to work and sat on the classroom floor thinking and praying.
The sound of horses brought him to his feet, and he looked out the window to see Jesse and Mr. Perrin ride up to the hotel. They shook hands and Mr. Perrin went inside. Jesse crossed the street, leading his horse toward the schoolhouse.
Logan glanced back at the living quarters. Beth watched him. “Wait here while I talk to the sheriff.”
She slammed the door shut and the wooden bar banged into place.
He stepped out the front door and waited for Jesse, who looked resigned. That did not bode well for Logan and the children. And certainly not for Sadie, who loved them.
He glanced toward the store. Sadie would be supervising the lunch hour and keeping a close eye on Sammy.
“Well?” He didn’t mean to sound so challenging, because he knew Jesse must do his job.
“He has a house.”
“One like where we found the children?”
Jesse lifted one shoulder in resigned helplessness. “It’s adequate. One of the better ones in Wolf Hollow.” He let the information sink in, then added, “He introduced me to a young woman who said she was prepared to be his housekeeper once he has the children.”
Logan wished he could believe he’d heard incorrectly. “You spent the morning with him and you’re comfortable with letting him take the children?”
Jesse took off his hat and scrubbed at his hair. “My job is to uphold the law.”
“I’m not asking you to break the law.”
“Good. I told Mr. Perrin he needed to do a little work on the house before the children could go. I said he had three days to get things ready. You have three days to come up with an alternate plan.”
Three days! In three days he could be long gone with Sadie and the children. He let that thought fade. Jesse would track him until he found him, and running was no life for children.
“I’ll think of something.”
Jesse planted his hat back on his head and adjusted it several times. “Hope you do. Those kids deserve better than Wolf Hollow.”
Logan wondered what Jesse had seen besides the dirt and squalor of the little mining town, but Jesse wouldn’t say anything until he had solid proof.
They needed solid proof, and all they had—besides the marks on Sammy’s back—were suspicions.
Beth needed to say something.
If he’d hoped spending time with her in the afternoon would accomplish anything, he was disappointed. Beth did her best to avoid him and when she couldn’t, refused to answer his questions. And he asked many. Was it Mr. Perrin who’d whipped Sammy? He knew the answer but needed her to be willing to give her answer to the authorities. Had he hurt her or Jeannie? Again, he knew her fears must have some basis. What had he done?
Finally, after he’d dogged her the better part of the afternoon, she stood up, crossed her arms over her chest and faced him. “I don’t know why you assume Mr. Perrin has done something to me. Did you ever think you might be assuming wrongly? Don’t you think it’s enough that we lost our parents and thought everyone had forgotten about us? Isn’t that enough to make us sad and afraid?” She could hardly catch her breath.
She stared daggers at him, then took Jeannie’s hand and marched them into the bedroom.
Speechless, he watched her go. Had he, fed by Sadie’s suspicions, wrongly assumed things? Hadn’t she started out not trusting families? Had her assumptions been colored by that?
He stared out the front door, anxiously waiting for her and Sammy to return. Perhaps Sammy would admit who had beat him.
They needed to sort out this business.
Chapter Fifteen
Sadie saw Logan waiting for them as she and Sammy hurried across the street. She sent Sammy to the kitchen, pulled the door shut after him and faced Logan in the empty schoolroom. “They came back, didn’t they?” He didn’t need to answer for her to know. One look at his face and she knew it was the bad news she’d expected.
Logan paced away to stare out the side windows. “Jesse said the house was adequate and there was a woman prepared to be the housekeeper.”
Sadie went to join him at the windows and stared out, seeing nothing. Her regret and sorrow licked at her, like a fire consuming everything else in the way. The children shouldn’t be returned to that man. They deserved so much more than adequate and a housekeeper. They needed and deserved safety and love. “Housekeeper sounds so cold. So the verdict is we have to let them go…unless we can get Beth to say more.”
He shifted to study her with such intensity that she couldn’t hold his gaze and looked past him to the far corner.
“Maybe Beth isn’t saying more because there isn’t anything else to say.”
Her eyes jerked back to him. “Why do you say that?”
“I spent a lot of time with Beth today and she finally broke down and said they were sad and afraid because both their parents had died. Nothing more.”
Each word felt like the blow of a pickax. Nothing more? She knew his decision about the children to be untrue. “I know it’s more than that.”
“How do you know? You always talk about the disappointment of family. Are you sure you aren’t letting your feelings color your perceptions?”
“My experience is coloring my observations.”
His look clearly said he didn’t understand.
She had to convince him the children could not go back to their stepfather. Would he understand her concerns if she told him what had happened to her? A trembling, like a thousand trapped butterflies trying to escape, filled her stomach. She took a deep breath that did nothing to settle her nerves and began.
“When I was sixteen my father’s partner came to my room. He forced me to my bed—” Not daring to meet Logan’s eyes, she stared past him to a spot on the wall. “Afterward, my mother insisted I must act like nothing happened. I had to sit across the table from him at the next meal.” The trembling climbed upward and she rubbed at her breastbone, trying to calm it. “She said I was dirty, soiled, ruined. I must never tell anyone or they’d know that about me.” The trembling reached her tongue and her lips. She scrubbed her lips back and forth, trying in vain to stop the trembling. “When I look at Beth I see my feelings reflected in her eyes. If that man hasn’t hurt her already, she knows—as do I—that he is going to.” A twitch drew her eyebrows downward.
She knew she must convince him, and she forced herself to look at him, knowing the horror she would see.
His eyes had darkened to midnight blue. His mouth was drawn back in a hard line.
She would not give him a chance to say anything. One word from him would fell her. “I will not stand by and let Beth go back to him. Nor Sammy, whom he beats. Nor Jeannie, who is a victim in waiting.”
He didn’t say anything, simply fled the room as fast as he could.
She didn’t need any word to inform her of his opinion. Now that he knew the truth about her, he would see
her as her parents did—soiled, ruined, shameful.
But she had done what she had to do to help the children. And, yes, to a degree, she had done it for her own sake. Her fondness for Logan had grown by leaps and bounds. She couldn’t continue to hide the truth about herself. The sooner he knew, the easier it would be to deal with the outcome.
She fell to her knees. There was nothing easy about this. Lord, God, You who have been my comfort and strength in days past. Please carry me through this.
But if she thought the mental pain inflicted on her by her parents was hard to bear, it was nothing compared to the anguish she felt at this moment.
Logan had walked away.
No, he’d raced away.
The thunder of pounding horse hooves drew her attention to the window. Logan riding down the street.
Galloping away.
*
Logan knew what he must do. Seeing Sadie so hurt, hearing her story, watching her rub at her chest like she could erase the ugliness that she’d endured had driven huge holes through his heart. He wanted to pull her into his arms but feared, in his state, he would crush her.
He couldn’t wipe out the events of her past—events in which she was entirely an innocent victim. But he could prevent Mr. Perrin from being able to treat Beth the same way.
His jaw muscles clenched so tightly his teeth hurt at the thought of those sweet children being hurt any more.
He rode hard, slowing only to save his horse. He had three days to get to the nearest judge in Kalispell and convince him to ride back as fast as he could.
If he had thought the hard ride would keep him from thinking, he was sorely mistaken. It gave him far too much time to do nothing else. And never before—even when he’d known he was partly to blame for his mother’s death—had his thoughts hurt so profoundly. Several times he leaned over the saddle horn, moaning. He wanted to shout his protests and anger to the sky. And, in fact, he did so several times, startling Brewster into a sideways dance.
He rode through the night. By the next morning, he was exhausted by his emotions and he turned to prayer. He snorted at his foolishness. Shouldn’t that have been his first response?
He prayed for the judge to be favorable to his request. He prayed for the safety of Sadie and the children. He prayed even more fervently for Sadie to realize she wasn’t ruined. She was a woman with a beautiful spirit worthy of love and tenderness. And he prayed for a chance to tell her that.
He arrived at the judge’s house at breakfast time. The man was a friend of Grandfather’s and welcomed him immediately.
“What brings you here looking like something the cat drug in?”
“I’ve ridden through the night to see you.”
“Sounds serious, so you better eat before you faint.” The judge chuckled. “I know how much food it takes to keep that big body of yours going.” The judge was short and stocky and always found the size of the Marshall men amusing, though Logan had never understood why. He led Logan to the kitchen and his wife placed a hot meal before him. When Logan tried to talk, the judge hushed him. “Eat first.”
Logan did so quickly, then put down his fork, planted his fists on either side of his plate and looked the judge in the eye. “There’s a family that needs your help.” Without revealing any information about Sadie, he provided details of the Weiss children.
The judge stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Apart from the marks on the boy’s back, this is all supposition.”
Logan leaned back, defeat sucking his strength. “Are you saying there’s nothing you can do?”
“Not at all. I’m just considering the facts.” He pushed to his feet. “There’s only one way I can determine the truth and that’s to talk to all parties. Are you ready to ride again?”
Logan bolted to his feet, grabbed his hat and hurried after the judge.
If it took riding day and night to save the children, that’s what he’d do.
They rode all day. Come dark, he wondered if it was fair to keep the judge riding. The man was not young, but when Logan suggested stopping the judge said, “We’ll push on.”
*
Sadie could barely force herself to move, yet she must. Somehow she needed to prepare the children to leave. Somehow she must ignore her own pain.
It had been two days since she’d told Logan her secret. She hadn’t seen him since. Perhaps she would never see him again, apart from social occasions he couldn’t avoid, though undoubtedly he’d go out of his way to keep his distance.
Pain sliced through her until she couldn’t breathe. She’d done what she thought she had to do. Perhaps it was for the best. Better to know his reaction now before she built hopeless dreams. Before she truly began to believe she could outlive her past.
Afraid the children would wonder at her twisted face, she turned to the cupboard where the dishes sat. Five of everything. Enough for her to have pretended for a little while that she could have a family, be accepted. Be loved. She rubbed her eyes with her sleeve and pushed away her pain. Tonight, after the children left, it would be even worse. She would be more alone than ever before.
How would she survive?
She returned to her task of gathering together things to send with the children.
Beth sat on Sammy’s bed, Jeannie’s arms so tight around Beth’s neck that Sadie wondered how the older girl managed to breathe. Sammy crowded next to them. All three watched her with wide eyes. Their fear palpated throughout the room.
“Do we have to go?” Sammy squeaked.
Sadie cleared her throat and forced the words out. “You heard the sheriff. He sees no reason you shouldn’t return to your stepfather.” Jesse’s voice had been flat, as if he didn’t care for the choice he’d made.
“But he ain’t our pa,” Sammy said.
“I know, but as your stepfather he has the same right.”
“You don’t understand,” Sammy insisted.
“Hush.” Beth gave her brother a quelling look.
“He ain’t our pa or our step one, either.”
Sadie had been arranging the children’s things, wanting to send books and pictures and so many other things with them. Her hands stopped. “What did you say?”
“No, Sammy. You know what he’ll do.”
Sammy scrambled from the bed and faced Sadie across the table. “Don’t he have to marry my ma to be my step pa?”
“Are you saying he didn’t?”
Sammy nodded.
She sank to the nearest chair. “Why didn’t you tell us this before?”
“’Cause.” Sammy darted a glance at his sister, then turned back to Sadie, his expression as much pleading as defiant. “He said if we told or tried to leave or run away, he would find us and hurt us.” Sammy twitched as if feeling a whip across his back. “He said he’d steal Jeannie and we’d never see her again.”
Jeannie sobbed.
Through her tears, Sadie saw the fear in the children’s eyes and a silent plea. They’d risked all to tell her. And she would not disappoint them.
“Stay here. Bar the doors. I have to find the sheriff.” She hurried from the house, waiting until Sammy dropped the bar into place before she turned her steps toward the sheriff’s office. She threw open the door. Mr. Perrin and Jesse stood inside.
“We were on our way to get the children,” Jesse said.
“Time for me to take them home,” Mr. Perrin said with a degree of pleasure.
“I think you’d better hear what I have to say first.” She was about to close the door behind her when two riders galloped up the street. She paid them little attention until they reined in and jumped down in front of the building where she stood.
Only then did she bring them into focus. Logan and a smaller man.
Why was he here?
Their gazes crashed together. Heat rushed up her neck and burned her cheeks. Did he see her as ruined?
She didn’t need to ask. He’d left without a word. She needed no other answer. She jerked away, stepping a
side as the pair clattered up the steps.
“I brought the judge,” Logan said, shifting his eyes to the sheriff. “He wants to assess the situation for himself.”
Mr. Perrin waved the words aside. “The sheriff has already done all that and is satisfied the children belong with me.”
In the deep recesses of her brain, Sadie knew she had to pull her thoughts together and tell everyone present what she knew. But seeing Logan had turned her insides to ice, frozen her immobile.
The judge cleared his throat. “I’d like to talk to everyone involved.” He made his way to the sheriff’s desk, pushed aside Jesse’s papers and opened his briefcase. “Mr. Perrin, seeing as you are here, I will begin with you. Please, would you sit?” He indicated the chair opposite him.
Mr. Perrin looked like he would defy the judge, then grunted his displeasure. “This is simply delaying things. I’d like to take the children home and get them settled. They belong with me. I’m their stepfather.”
His claim jerked Sadie into action and she sprang forward. “I don’t think you are their stepfather.”
Mr. Perrin gave her a cold look.
The judge perked up at her words. “What are you saying?”
“The children say he never married their mother. He has no right to take them.”
The judge’s face grew stern. “Mr. Perrin, do you have any proof of your marriage?”
“Of course not. Who carries a wedding certificate around with them?”
“Can you find it and bring it to me?”
“I have no idea where it is.”
Sadie decided the man was either a good liar or believed he could fool them all. She clutched her hands together and prayed God would give the judge needed wisdom.
The judge opened his inkwell and dipped his pen into it. “Please tell me where and when you were married and by whom. That information will enable me to locate the information.”
Mr. Perrin stared at the judge and said nothing.
The judge waited. He watched the man across the desk from him, his look never faltering. After a few tense moments, he put down his pen and folded his hands. “Your inability to provide these details convinces me that you have not married Mrs. Weiss.” He closed his book, put his things back in his satchel and pushed to his feet. “I’d like to speak to the children. Logan, Miss?”
