by Alyssa Kress
With a deep sigh, he took her in his arms and embraced her, simply holding her close. The peace inside of her grew, warmed, expanded.
"Sometimes," Gary said, "you scare me to death."
Kerrin blinked her eyes against his chest. "I do? How?"
He hesitated. "You're way too nice to me."
Kerrin closed her eyes. She wanted to squeeze him, shake him, overtake him ‑‑ anything to make him understand this wasn't so, it wasn't possible. Instead she confined herself to smoothing her hand across his back, finding the curve of muscle there. "You're not used to that, are you?"
"No."
She raised her head to find his expression a mixture of caution and consternation. With a wry smile, she put a hand against the stubble of his beard. "Well, you better get used to it, my dear."
Gary quickly trapped her hand against his face. His expression intensified. "That could be dangerous."
"For you?" Kerrin shook her head. "I think the opposite is true."
He stared down at her. "I'm not going to have you forever."
The statement stabbed through her with an awful pain. And she wouldn't have him, either. "That just doesn't seem possible," she blurted out."
An unhappy smile twisted his lips as he brushed a finger across her mouth. "As you're so fond of reminding me, Kerrin: anything is possible."
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
They're a lot more interesting when they're older.
Matt considered this piece of Gary's advice from his usual spot in the right-hand back corner of the classroom. From this position he had an excellent view of every student in the room.
This morning he used his vantage point to study Cheryl Bloch. She was wearing a stretchy knit top that he'd earlier noted showed everything a man could want to see. Cheryl turned her head to retrieve a dropped pencil, displaying her picture-perfect features. She already looked years older than sixteen. About ten years older.
Yeah, Matt decided, Cheryl was aging fast. If he thought about it, ten years from now she was going to look downright decrepit. The come-on expression that today was so sexy would become the jaded smirk of a woman who'd been overused. The tanned skin would become wrinkled, the large breasts sag. She'd look ridden hard and put away dirty.
The image of Cheryl Bloch ten years in the future did wonders for Matt's mood.
Up in the front of the classroom, Gary had moved the teacher desk to the side to give the first group room to teach about dental health. They were presenting their facts in a Jeopardy game format. It was about medium on the entertainment scale, Matt judged.
He turned his attention two rows up from himself, and clear across the room. From there, Elaine Gerard provided Matt a very nice view of her profile. He studied it closely, his head resting on the heel of his hand. She had one delicate bump in her nose, high cheekbones, and skin that looked the color of ivory against her dark hair. Her silky-looking hair was brushed straight back into a high ponytail, showing off her fine features. Her expression was serious and concentrated as she took notes on the presentation.
Now in ten years a face like Elaine's was only going to improve. Good bone structure didn't change. And what today appeared a somewhat gawky body was going to become a tall, slender, even regal, figure. No doubt about it. Elaine was going to be a looker.
This discovery was unutterably depressing. By now Matt had figured out he'd been wrong about Elaine the other day. She didn't like him. The moment of excitement when their hands had clasped had all been on one side: his. It only made sense; after all, she was going to be gorgeous in ten years.
He was still glumly staring at her profile when the girl turned her head and looked back at him. She must have sensed his prolonged scrutiny. At any rate, it was too late for Matt to glance away; she'd caught him in the act.
Their eyes locked and held. It was the craziest thing. There was something magical in her eyes. Maybe it was their color, like washed rain, or maybe it was their unexpected focus on himself, but Matt had never dreamed that simply looking into another person's eyes, straight on for long moments strung together, could be so incredibly exciting.
Pleasure washed through him as he kept up his side of the peculiar duel. The longer their gazes held, the higher his level of excitement rose; excitement and a species of power. A slow, irrepressible smile grew over his face.
As though he'd pushed some kind of button, a deep flush spread up Elaine's bare neck and into her face. Matt watched this phenomenon in stunned amazement. She tore her gaze away but it was too late. He could still see the flushed color of her skin.
He'd done that! Just by looking at her. Matt couldn't have felt more high in that moment, more full of masculine power than if he'd just dispatched a full-grown bull in the midst of a shouting arena of 'olé's.
"Matt?"
Startled, Matt looked up to find Gary frowning at him from behind his desk at the side.
"Yes, sir?"
"Why don't you move up to this seat at the front?" Gary's tone was definitely more order than suggestion. "You seem a bit distracted back there today."
A bunch of people turned to look at him but Matt couldn't stop smiling, even though he hated to be the object of curiosity. He was smiling like a fool while he backed up from his desk. A few people whispered; a couple started grinning themselves. Not even that could make a dent in his good humor.
He rolled to the front, still not able to control his grin. Gary gave him a brisk, assessing look, but seemed to remain baffled. "All right," he then said, addressing the Jeopardy group up front. "Please go on."
Matt took his pen in his hand and tried his damnedest to concentrate, particularly as he was now sitting directly under Gary's watchful eyes. But a heady intoxication filled him.
He'd been wrong about Elaine. She'd been nervous the other day because she liked him. She liked him! Every time Matt remembered the way his smile had made her blush, he felt a fresh wash of dizzying gratification.
The Jeopardy question answer was "Periodontics." Matt wrote it down in his notebook because he knew he was supposed to be writing something down. If he passed the quiz at the end of today it would be a sheer miracle. A far more pressing question loomed in his mind. Okay, so Elaine maybe liked him.
Now what the hell was he supposed to do next?
~~~
Kerrin was still on the telephone. Gary noted this fact with a scowl as he walked past her open office door for the second time in the half hour since his summer school class had ended. She'd also been on the telephone before class started. He hadn't been able to say hello, hadn't been able to assess her 'morning after' mood.
Gary told himself not to be surprised if Kerrin's attitude toward him had changed drastically overnight. It wouldn't be surprising if a nice, decent girl had second thoughts about letting a scruffy reprobate like himself take a few liberties with her. In fact, the way she was hanging on that telephone looked like a tactic to avoid him.
After returning to his own classroom, Gary sat behind his desk and gave a grim glare toward the pile of quizzes he had to grade. He reminded himself of what he'd told Kerrin last night. Their time was limited. It would be best if she did put a firm stop to what he'd so foolishly started. They ought to set a platonic boundary to this relationship.
Gary pulled a paper off the pile and forced himself to look down at it. He picked up a red pencil.
It wasn't as though he'd been planning on any heavy-duty thing between the two of them. He'd just wanted to help her over whatever trauma had made her so frightened of men. She needed someone gentle right now, someone patient and who didn't have a long-range agenda. Gary was in no position to have a long-range agenda.
You are the dearest, sweetest, most wonderful man. No matter what he did, Gary kept hearing those words. He couldn't believe Kerrin had said that. It was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. And yet he knew he was going to remember every one of those words, exactly, until the day he died.
With a low growl, Gary threw the qu
iz to the side and rose from his chair. She had to be off the phone by now. He strode down the arcade.
From her open office door, he could hear what appeared to be the end of a conversation.
"Yes, I will," Kerrin told the person on the other end of the line. Her voice was soft, sweet, extremely obliging. "Thank you. Thank you very much. I can't tell you how I appreciate this. Very good. Absolutely. Thank you."
She hung up. Unbelievable. She was finally off the telephone. Rubbing her ear with one hand, she looked up and saw him standing in her doorway. Immediately, her face lit up. "Gary! How long have you been waiting there?" She stood, still absently rubbing her ear. "Come in, come in."
So, no morning-after regrets after all. Gary stepped inside the door as Kerrin hurried up to him. The light in her expression lit something warm in his chest.
She pulled him all the way inside and closed the door. "I have some news for you. Good news, I think. Sit down."
News, but no kiss. Gary took a seat on her serviceable sofa, watching as Kerrin took a position leaning against the front of her desk.
She crossed her arms over her chest. Today she was wearing what Gary privately termed one of her cowboy outfits; a longish denim skirt, denim blouse rolled up to the elbows, and cowboy boots.
"I've got a doctor for your friend," she announced.
"What?"
"Dr. Ramirez," Kerrin expanded. "He's a cardiologist from UCLA. He's going to drive over to Chino tomorrow to examine Willie."
Gary's chest felt as though it had just sustained a solid blow. "I ‑‑ That's impossible."
"Not impossible." Kerrin smiled smugly. "It just took some dedicated bureaucratic footwork."
Gary could only gape at her. "How on earth did you do it?" God knew, he'd been trying to get Willie a doctor for years, with absolutely no result.
"It wasn't easy." Kerrin's smugness expanded. "But you're looking at a real pro when it comes to untangling red tape. A few years work in the Mono County School District will do that to you. I've learned that if you're stubborn enough, you can generally get what you want. It all boils down to an endurance test, and I've got a lot of stamina."
"You've been on the phone," Gary now realized, "over four hours trying to deal with this?"
Kerrin grinned and pushed off her desk. "Like I said. Stamina. And I got what I wanted, didn't I?"
His hands and feet felt like they were tied to the floor. Gary couldn't believe it. Kerrin had done this ‑‑ for him. "I don't know how to thank you."
She made a face as she sat down next to him on the sofa. "Don't. Truth be told, I'm not sure how selfless my motives were."
"What? How's that?"
Lowering her eyes, she picked at the material of her skirt. "What you said last night, about us not having much time? Well, I guess I don't want you to have a need to rush back to Chino."
Gary was finally able to move his invisibly tied hands. He closed them around hers. "Well, whatever your motives, sweetheart, thanks." His head was filled with a falling snow of emotions.
Kerrin lifted a pair of sheepish eyes. "And besides, the longer it takes you to break into the DWP facility, the better for the town. The department won't have an excuse to rebuild elsewhere if you find the place impregnable."
"Mmph." A stab of guilt went through Gary, who couldn't tell her how very wrong her calculation was. The longer it took him to find a way into the DWP, the way Mr. Holiday was going to take, the more danger the whole damn town was in. "Tell you what, sweetheart. Gimme a kiss and I'll buy you lunch."
Absolutely no morning-after regrets. Her kiss was generously, nay, enthusiastically given, and so warmly promising Gary nearly melted into the sofa. He stood up quickly, before parts of his body other than his brain started dictating the script.
They walked into the coffee shop together. A few people sitting at the counter looked up. Gary knew everybody in the place. Just like him, they could be counted on to be found in the Lone Trail at certain hours of the day. There was a smile on the face of every single person who looked up and saw them.
"Hi Gary. Kerrin," Carolina called from the kitchen pass-through. "Why don't you guys take a booth?" She was smiling, too.
Seating himself across from Kerrin at one of the well-padded plastic booths, Gary leaned forward. "What's gotten into everyone?"
With a wry half-smile, Kerrin picked up the plastic menu. "Welcome to small town life."
"Huh?"
"You'll see. They also know Victor Bothmann left town last night, though he muttered something about having to come back again, a matter of aboriginal people and a second chapter to his film, if what he's got so far doesn't wow the department. Oh, I'm told he may foreclose on his house if he can't make tenure this year."
Gary leaned back in his seat. "They know all that, about his professional and personal problems?"
"Uh huh." Kerrin's smile grew. "And he's just a visitor."
"Sheesh." Gary shook his head, aware of a definite pleasure in Bothmann's departure, even while he marveled at the town's grapevine. Imagine what would happen if they got hold of his own true life story.
"Oh, yeah," Gary said, shaking the thought away. "Before I forget, I wanted to ask you something, for the class."
Kerrin looked up from the menu. "Yes?"
"This sex education unit..." Gary's voice trailed off as it suddenly occurred to him he'd better pick his words carefully. No telling how much of the curriculum had been designed by Kerrin herself. He turned the dewy water glass in a circle on the laminate table top. "Uh, well, I think it's missing something."
Sure enough, a light of artistic pride rose in her eyes. "Missing something?"
"Yeah," he bluntly returned. "Real life."
Her eyes widened. "Oh."
"This is what I want to do." Gary leaned over the table again, eager. "Extracurricular. Separate discussion groups for the guys and the girls. Makes it more frank that way, less embarrassment, if you see what I mean."
Her words were cautious. "I think so."
"Obviously, I can lead the guy's group, but I need someone else ‑‑ someone female ‑‑ to take over the girls' group."
Kerrin just stared at him.
Gary raised an eyebrow. "So?"
"So, what?"
He let out an impatient breath. "So, you take over the girls' group."
Kerrin continued to stare at him, her expression extraordinarily blank. Then her gaze suddenly dropped, she reached blindly for her water, took a sip and promptly started to cough. Making a grab for her paper napkin, she stuffed it up by her mouth and continued coughing until tears came to her eyes.
Concerned, Gary reached across the table and thumped her gently between her shoulder blades. "Hey, are you all right?"
Nodding her head, Kerrin finally settled down. She looked at Gary over her crumpled napkin. "I can't."
"What?"
"I can't do it."
A horrible fear laced Gary's insides. He'd suspected Kerrin had had a negative sexual encounter in her past, something that made her skittish about repeating the experience. But he'd placated his concern by assuming it had been nothing more than an inconsiderate or clumsy lover. He hadn't wanted to consider the possibility it had been something truly traumatic, possibly violent.
It took all the courage he owned to frame his next words. "Why not?"
A delicate flush spread over her face. "Because, Gary." She swallowed and, after glancing from side to side, leaned over the table. "Because all I know about sex ‑‑ " She paused, closed her eyes, and went on in a hushed rush. "That is, the limit of my experience with the subject is what you taught me in the back seat of your car last night."
Kerrin leaned back in the upholstered booth with a relieved huff. Crossing her arms across her chest, she trained her eyes to the side, away from him.
Gary couldn't move. A weight of guilt and dread lowered through him. He'd felt the same thing at the sentencing phase of his last court trial, as though a last thread of hope
, something he'd no right to in the first place, had been justly cut.
The damn woman was a virgin!
Gary stared at Kerrin, who kept her gaze on the kitchen grill, her teeth worrying her lower lip. He should have known, he should have guessed. That he hadn't was more evidence of his evil intentions. He hadn't wanted to see.
A keen disappointment seeped through him. He couldn't sleep with this woman. There was no way on earth he could justify doing that. If Kerrin hadn't gone to bed with a man by this time it was because she was saving herself for the right one, the one she'd give everything to for the rest of her life.
Gary was not that man.
Rage rose within him. A rage like he'd never known. It was all he could do to keep his voice within normal limits. "You should have told me about that, before."
Her head swung toward him, her eyes wide, innocent, surprised. "I should have? Why?"
"Because." He spoke through clenched teeth. How dare she act naive! "You almost let me steal that from you."
Her rose-petal lips parted as her surprise expanded. To Gary's amazement, she looked on the verge of anger herself. "What?!"
He slid out of the booth. With a smooth movement, he extracted a bill of an appropriate denomination and threw it on the table. "Thanks for taking care of Willie." The words choked in his throat. How could she have done this to him? How could she have been so cruel? Even now, furiously angry with her, he was buffeted by awful waves of temptation.
He knew how to take what he wanted. He knew how to steal it right away. He knew every deft trick and stroke. It could be his any time he wanted it. Any time at all.
Gary strode out of the Lone Trail, dimly aware that Kerrin was scurrying after him. A blast of hot desert air met him as he pushed open the glass door. It burned his frustrated fury higher.
"Dammit, Gary. You want to have this argument out in the middle of Main Street, then that's just fine!" In the street, she grabbed onto his arm, making it awkward to continue walking. Gary shook her off. She grabbed onto him again.
