by Christina OW
Now look at me. I let my grief for Eric cloud my judgment and pushed us both to taking that step. And now we were both lost with two kids bound to be born in this confusion we call our lives.
I watched William slid into the seat next to me, “Would you like me to order you a whiskey?”
I snorted, “Yeah, because I want to add two babies with alcoholic syndrome on top of this huge mess I call my life.”
William wrapped his arm around my shoulders, “He wasn’t always this messed up, I swear.”
I exhaled, crossing my arms on top of the bar counter and laying my head on them facing him, “Yeah? Care to share what has him on the run?”
“You,” he responded with a smile.
I snorted, “I already know that. Besides me, what has him so scared?”
He shook his head, “Scared? My big brother would never admit to being scared. He’s too macho for that.”
“But he did admit to running from something, he just wouldn’t tell me why.”
“Yeah, well I’m not exactly barred with a gag order.”
I sat up, “So you know?”
He exhaled loudly, “I wouldn’t consciously betray my brother’s trust but this avoidance has gone on long enough. Do you know Ron was once engaged to be married?”
Ouch! That went right through the heart, “I know now.”
He cringed, “Sorry. I didn’t mean… anyway, long story short, our father died on his wedding day of a massive heart attack and he for some reason took that as some sign.”
“A sign not to get married?”
Ah hell. I knew their father died but they never shared when he died. So Ron’s wedding turned into a funeral? I too would take that as a sign of something.
He nodded, “And that life is short and he needed to live every moment of it to its fullest.”
“He could have done that with his wife.”
He shook his head, “Nope, not if he didn’t truly love her.”
My next question was going to make both of us very uncomfortable. “What about me? Do you know what his feelings are for me?”
William took my hand in his and squeezed, “I can’t tell you that but what I can tell you is that what he feels for you is very strong. He’s very fixated on you.”
I snorted, “That’s what you say about an unbalanced stalker.”
He chuckled, “Yeah, when it comes to you he is a little bit of a stalker of almost ten years. Listen, I wouldn’t in good conscious tell you to wait around for him but…”
“I know. He’s your brother, you love him and you want the best for him.”
He bumped playfully into my shoulder, “You’re my sister and I want the best for you too,” he dropped his hand to my belly, “And what’s best for my nieces or nephews. Sandra, Ron may be a little antsy about settling down in one place—”
“With one woman,” I interjected.
“But, he does care for you and these babies may just be the one thing he needs to stop from running.”
I knew better than that. Finding out I was pregnant may have brought him back to me but once he found out how many I was expecting, he was out the door faster than I could say go. Thinking about Ron hurt too much, I’d really tried to keep him out of my mind until he decided to show up today. Life was never simple with him. There was always some complication with him.
“So, what about you? Any new love interests in the horizon?”
William pulled away with a sigh, “Each time you ask me that I have the same answer. I already had my great love. Kristy…” he said her name with such reverence, it was quite clear he still worshiped the ground she used to walk on. It hurt that they couldn’t be together.
“William, Kristy wouldn’t mind if you moved on.”
He looked at me strangely, “Move on? There is no moving on from Kristy. The kind of love I had for her can’t be replaced or duplicated and I had no interest in trying. Kristy was it for me, is it for me.” He turned in his stool to face me, “Listen, it’s not that I’ll feel guilty or feel like I’m betraying Kristy by moving on. Her daughter has been bugging me about dating, and since she knows nothing about that I’m sure Kristy set her up to it, so I know for a fact she would be okay with it.”
I teared up at that. It wasn’t fair William and Kristy were denied their love story and her murderer still got to live. It just isn’t fair.
“Okay, forget a love interest. But William, you are a man, with needs…”
I laughed when his face suddenly went red and he looked away, “Don’t worry about that. I’ve got that covered.”
It was too hard not to tease, “An hour in you’re bathroom with a porn magazine and you’re hand—”
“Hell, Sandra!” he yelled wide eyed cutting me off, “I met someone at a grieving group. She’s a mother of two boys. She lost her great love in Afghanistan. She too needed… companionship and we have… an arrangement.”
I laughed so hard I was sure I was going to pee on myself, “An arrangement? So how many times a week do you meet up in your… private grief sessions? Do you’re kids know about you—each other?”
He fidgeted in his seat, “Don’t make it sound so sordid. We have dinner together like once a month. The boys go to the same school as Kristy. We don’t want to make things awkward for them, so as far as they know we are friends form the same grief group.”
“William, this arrangement, does it make you happy?”
He shrugged, “I’m happy either way with my daughter. I see my wife everyday in my daughter and it doesn’t feel like I completely lost the love of my life. The arrangement with Diana—that’s her name—is more for adult company.”
I nodded a little glad that my baby sister wouldn’t be replaced in his life but William needed a little family support for this arrangement. “Okay, invite her and her boys to the reception tomorrow.”
“Sandra, no…”
“William, how long have you two been together?”
“Almost two years.”
Two years? Wow! “I understand that Kristy will always be your great love but there is no reason to treat Diana like a sordid little secret. Two years? I bet neither Ron nor Morris know about her,” his silence was all the confirmation I needed. “Treat tomorrow like one of your monthly dinners if it will make you feel better, but—and the guys will agree with me on this—we want to know this woman in little Kristy’s life and her two boys.”
I didn’t have to explain what I meant. We all loved my sister Kristy and her death hit us all very hard. Her namesake daughter was a little version of her and she held a special place in our hearts. She may be William’s daughter but she only came to existence thanks to all our efforts. I found the surrogate and got her inseminated, Morris looked after her, even moved into the apartment next door to her and Ron took care of all her bills including the medical ones, so yeah, little Kristy belonged to all of us.
William got off his stool and stood next to me, wrapping his arms around me in a hug, “Well, it looks like three people are going to be bumped off our table.”
Chapter Eight
From my seat at my designated table I watched the party finally come to life after the numerous speeches from both sides of the family and of course the drinks that flowed to bare the boredom. Don’t get me wrong, William’s would be bestman speech if Morris and Joy hadn’t eloped was great but unlike my family who had only three people to speak, Joy had twice that number and they al seem to have a lot to say.
Diana, William’s arrangement-mate was delightful company throughout the reception and I felt assured that my sister’s place in his heart wasn’t threatened. It was clear they liked each other more than William had suggested but in a more bestfriends with benefits kind of way. She had the same sad haunted look in her eyes William did when Morris and Joy danced together. They were so in love even I felt envious. If only Ron loved me. Diana’s sons were great too. Declan the younger of the two was the same age as Kristy and in the same grade. Kevin Jr. was two yea
rs older and pretty serious about his big brother role, a product of his father’s death. It was clear in the little things he did for Declan. I was the same way with Kristy when our mother died. I didn’t want her to miss having a mother so I tried to fill that gap as much as I could.
Everything about tonight was great. I’d pulled off a great party that everyone was enjoying. Well everyone except me.
I stared at the empty seat next to me, reserved for Ron. I had hoped he would show up. he and Morris were close, like brothers and despite their recent confrontation courtesy of the baby bump I carried, I was sure he wouldn’t miss Morris’ big day for the world. How wrong I was. I should have known better after the runner he pulled yesterday.
“May I have this dance?”
I looked at his extended hand then up at his face. “Ron, you’re here!”
He gave me his lopsided smile, even with the large bruise at the corner of his lips still turned my insides to jelly.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
I tool his hand and he led me to the dance floor. We slow danced to Beyonce’s song Ave Maria and all I could think about was how his hands on me made me want to hyperventilate. He was here, but for how long? I didn’t look up at his face because I was sure I would see the signs of being trapped and the need to run in his eyes. I just wanted to enjoy the moment, enjoy being in his arms while I was still he because I was sure he would push me away soon, like always.
“Sandra, I’m sorry.”
I chewed on my lower lip hesitantly before I asked, “Sorry for what?”
“For pushing you away and how I push you away.”
I snorted at that. “You mean dangling another woman in my face? Yeah, that’s your own brand of cruel.”
His fingers dug into my back when he pulled me closer. Well as close as my big belly would allow it. The twins were very settled this evening, very unlike them. I wonder how Ron would react if they kicked right this moment. He’d probably run so fast he’d leave behind a whoosh of air.
“I love you Sandra.”
My heart skipped then picked up to a quick pace. I’m sure that’s not healthy for the other two people sharing my body. I have a crazy imagination but I’m sure I couldn’t have imagined his lips moving and those words coming out of his mouth. I took a deep breath and exhaled.
“Ron…” yeah, that’s all my scrambled mind could come up with after that bomb dropped.
“I’m done running Sandra, of being afraid. I’ve been so scared of dying young buried under family responsibilities and my father’s company and assets like he did. I thought I was living life to the fullest but I was just running from the most important part of it.”
Dear Lord, why was he saying all these things to me while looking at me like I was the best thing since sliced bread?
“Ron, is this because I’m pregnant? You know I wouldn’t keep you away from the twins. They deserve to have their father and you… Ron how do you feel about the twins? Never once have I asked you about it and please don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. If this change of heart is some sort of misplaced code of eighteenth century English honor we are seriously going to have a problem you and me.”
He chuckled, this eyes crinkling and the bruise on his left side actually looked cute. I was overloaded on hormones if an ugly bruise looked cute just because it was next to a sexy brown eye.
He raised his hand to my cheek and I leaned into the caress. “Ever since we were first introduced I’ve wanted you. When we went on that date, I knew if I made love to you that night I would never let you go. That scared me so when the opportunity to dodge that particular cupid came, I took it.”
“Ron…”
“Sandra, I’m not running anymore and these babies were just the kick in the ass I needed to realize my life is with you. I can’t let the fear of death keep me from living, from loving you. If you will have me Sandra, I would like to spend the rest of the time I have on this earth by your side.”
What? That wasn’t… could it be… I mean… what!
He chuckled, “Yes Sandra. What your mind is having a tough time comprehending is a marriage proposal.”
I needed to be sure he meant it, that he wouldn’t call psych once my heart was completely engaged. “What does the tattoo mean?”
He smiled softly, stroked my cheek and said, “The black rose I never thought I deserved, never once believed I could have to love for the rest of my life. Was afraid I would lose like my brother did his and that’s why I kept her far from me. But I’ve changed my mind about that. What is life if it’s not love full of risks?”
“I love you,” was all I could get past the laughter and tears after that little speech.
*
Ron and I married soon after that night. It wasn’t a large and lavish wedding deserving of the Stanford first born son according to my new mother-in-law dragon Gloria but it was what we wanted. Only close friends and family including Diana and her sons were invited. I’m hopeful Ron would be just as decisive when it came to the twins’ education. William let me know she already had schools lined up, in England. I don’t want to live in London but that will all depend on whether or not Ron will need to take an active role at the Stanford Enterprise headquarters. I have my fingers crossed that all he’ll need to do as Chief Executive Officer could be done in the United States.
Diana and her sons had become frequent fixtures in our lives these past few weeks. She’d become a close friend and with Joy we spent a lot of time together. Life was bright and hopeful again. But at the moment I was feeling anything but, with the pains cutting through me.
Something was wrong, something was very wrong.
Sandra, you need to get to the hospital, now!
“Kristy?” I cried clutching my belly.
“Sandra, what’s wrong?” Joy came round the table to stand beside me. We were out for lunch, taking a break from shopping for the babies. I had a month left before I delivered but at the moment it looked like it was going to happen sooner.
I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with Eric but I’m here now. Everything is going to be okay Sandra, I promise.
Kristy’s face was right in front of me… but wasn’t Joy standing there a few seconds ago?
“Kristy?”
“Oh God!” Someone call an ambulance!”
My vision wavered and I could feel myself slip. “Kristy please, not again. Don’t leave me…” The next pain hit me, sending me straight into darkness.
*
The beeping noise came through my hazy conscious first, then the light feathery touch on my face. My throat felt like I’d swallowed gravel and my lips and tongue were so dry.
“Sandra love, are you awake?”
I went to answer but my throat hurt when I tried to speak. I opened my eyes and stared at Ron. His eyes were swollen and red rimmed. Had he been crying? Why?
He held a cup in his hand and a straw to my lips, “Here drink this.”
I took several sips then spoke, “What happened?”
He set the cup down on the side table then crawled into bed with me. He moved me so that I settled comfortably against him. My stomach felt a little stiff from the movement but didn’t hurt. I ran my hand over my lower belly, it was heavily bandaged.
“The doctors had to perform a C-section. Worst hour of my life, waiting for you to come out of surgery. You suffered something called Placenta praevia. You were bleeding a lot but Joy and Diana got you to the hospital just in time.”
I rubbed my face against his chest. He was so comfortable. “The twins how are they?”
Ron didn’t respond, in fact his entire body went rigid and yet I wasn’t frightened.
“Ron, what’s up?”
“You’re calmer than we expected you to be.”
I shrugged, “Kristy warned me right before it happened.”
“Kristy?”
I shifted, looking up at him, “You find that hard to believe, don’t you?”
He
exhaled loudly, “Well she still has conversations with her daughter so no, not really. It just scares me to think of what would have happened if she hadn’t, if you hadn’t gotten to the hospital in time.”
I settled back against him, “I’m glad we never get to find out.”
Just then, Kristy ran into the room loudly announcing herself. Morris and William followed each holding a blue bundle in their arms.
“You are a lot calmer than we expected you to be,” William commented with an impressed smile on his face.
“Yeah, we’d figured you’d be freaking out the second you woke up and realized the twins weren’t inside you anymore. When Ron texted you were coming round we stopped by the nursery and kidnapped our two nephews to get them here quick.”
I don’t think I’ve ever smiled so wide before. They were here, they were fine and they were safe. Kristy kept her promise. I had two healthy sons.
“I want to hold them.”
“One at a time,” Ron helped me sit up. I still felt a little weak and stiff but nothing was keeping me from holding my babies. Once I was situated, William placed my son on my arms while Ron took the other from Morris and held him close to me. They were beautiful and didn’t look the least bit alike.
“I can already foresee the trouble these two are going to get in with the ladies,” Morris wiggled his eyebrows making the guys laugh.
But I had this hesitation in my heart. What if they never got that far? What if what happened to Eric happened to them? I swear I wouldn’t survive it!
“Don’t worry Aunt Sandra. Mama says she’s keeping a close watch on them,” she wrinkled her nose, “She says they are going to be exactly like Uncle Ron. I don’t get it, why is that a bad thing?”
The room erupted in laughter. Great, I had two billionaire playboys in my future. I didn’t mind that one bit.
