by Kelly Oram
I was surprised by the outburst. I’d always found Gabriel’s formal speech rather endearing. But that probably wouldn’t be the best thing to admit right then so instead I just snapped at Russ. “Lay off him, jerk!”
“Ugh, fine, whatever. But we’re sure as hell not going to the consulate.”
Gabriel and Russ were now lost in a scowling match. There was no way either of them was going to concede to the other’s plan.
“So what do we do then?” I asked them both.
There was complete silence for a minute and then Russ looked at me like he’d just received some divine inspiration. “You choose,” he said.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re the Chosen One, aren’t you? You choose.”
“Russ that is the stupidest—”
“No, he is right,” Gabriel interrupted. “You are the Chosen One. This task was appointed to you, Danielle. It should be your decision.”
“But I don’t know what the right answer is. Yeah the council sucks, but Gabriel’s right. They would have no problem stopping Robert. And they aren’t all bad.”
“Dani!” Russ was frustrated with me now.
“But,” I added quickly. “If there is any chance that we could persuade the resistance that war is not the way to find balance, and that I’m willing to help them if they can find a peaceful solution, then they would be greater allies to us than the council. Both ways could be right. Or, both ways could get us captured and tortured until we agree to help them.”
“The council would never do that,” Gabriel said.
“They already have once,” I reminded him. “What’s to say they won’t do it again?”
Gabriel’s face filled with frustration. “They wouldn’t.”
“You can’t know that Gabriel. I’m sure you thought they would never have done what they did to me. Didn’t you?”
Gabriel sighed. “No,” he admitted hesitantly. “I did not believe the Councilor capable of such actions. I was shocked when I learned of your treatment.”
“So you don’t know the Councilor as well as you think you do,” Russ said smugly. “Do you?”
A dangerous look flashed across Gabriel’s face and he growled, “Better than you know your own father.”
I had to tackle Russ to the ground to keep him from killing Gabriel. “Enough!” I shouted. “Both of you!”
“You’d better hurry and pick a plan,” Russ spat. “Or I swear I’m going to kick your husband’s ass.”
“No. We’ll decide together.”
“No. We won’t. I picked a plan. He picked a plan. You’re the tie breaker.”
“BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!”
“Danielle,” Gabriel said, having calmed himself down. “The prophecy says true love is the only thing that will help you decide.”
I felt the blood drain from my face. “Oh, no!” I started backing away from them both. “No, no, no. That is not fair!”
Russ stared me down with conviction and Gabriel looked nearly as determined.
“Come on you guys,” I said desperately. “Don’t make me do this.”
“Why not?” Russ asked. “It is your destiny after all. Isn’t it? You can’t keep stringing us both along forever.”
“I am not—” I was so angry I could hardly form words. “—stringing you along!”
“The hell you’re not!”
“How many times have I told you I have accepted Gabriel! I choose Gabriel! How is that stringing you along? You and Alex are my family. Gabriel is my husband. You want me to find you a dictionary so you can look up the difference?”
Russ stood toe to toe with me, furiously shaking with anger, but I stood my ground. “If you’re so hell bent on me making this call based on destiny then it looks like we’re going to the consulate.”
“That is so much bull and you know it! The prophecy says true love is what will help you. You’re only choosing him because you feel obligated.”
When I shook my head, Russ rolled his eyes. “Don’t deny it.”
“I’m not denying it, Russ. Gabriel and I have a connection. I can feel it.”
Russ laughed an angry laugh. “Of course you can! That was the point of your torture! The Councilor broke you and then let the Seer fix you specifically so that you would feel that connection. What you feel for him isn’t real. Physically yeah—any moron can see that you’re attracted to him—but love? Do you love him Dani?”
I was startled by the question. I shifted my gaze to Gabriel and when our eyes met I didn’t need a vision to see into his soul. I felt something in my heart stir, but love? Could I possibly love him?
“You can’t say it,” Russ said, breaking into the stare Gabriel and I had locked down. “You don’t love him.”
“How would I know if I did?” I argued. “How can I trust anything I feel when my relationships with both of you were severely manipulated?”
“We’re more than some stupid supernatural bond and you know it.”
“No, I don’t know that Russ! I’m so messed up I don’t understand any of my feelings about anything anymore. The only thing I know for sure is that when I look into his future, I don’t just see lovey-dovey moments. I see important moments. Decisions being made. It’s like the Creator is showing me the path to take. She is telling me I can trust Gabriel, and that I need him. I can’t ignore that.”
Russ shook his head. “You love me,” he insisted. “I know you do and I can prove it.”
“Nobody can prove that.”
“Kiss me.”
“What?”
“The Councilor broke your bonds right? That means whatever you feel for me right now is all you. So kiss me. Really kiss me. If you can honestly tell me you don’t love me like that—that I’m really no more than a best friend to you—then I’ll give up. I’ll let Gabriel have his stupid destiny.”
I gasped. Middle of the night? Random parking lot? Tension so thick it could choke a person? Suddenly this scene was all too familiar.
“I swear it, Dani. I will leave you alone. I’ll give you my freaking blessing if you want it. But you have to be absolutely positive.”
“Russ.” I felt like I might actually vomit. “I.…”
I turned my eyes to Gabriel. He looked as sick as I did, and I’d seen this look on his face before. This was it. The moment I looked back at Russ I knew he was going to kiss me, and then Gabriel was going to walk out of my life. I started to panic. I hadn’t seen this coming. I wasn’t ready to lose Gabriel. I couldn’t lose him.
You can change it.
The thought did not come from me, but I seized it the moment it entered my mind. “I can change it,” I whispered to myself.
“Danielle?” Gabriel asked while Russ demanded, “Change what?”
“You look very upset Danielle. What have you seen?” Gabriel asked. “Tell us and we can help you.”
But they couldn’t help me. This was a decision no one could help me with. I backed out of Russ’s reach expecting to need a minute to think, but the moment I took that step I knew. In fact I’d already made this decision when I didn’t change my vision of accepting Gabriel. And I’d made it again tonight when I’d agreed to leave with him.
I glanced between Gabriel and Russ several times. I knew that right now I would be saying goodbye to one of them. As much as it surprised me, and as much as I loved Russ, when it came down to it, it was Gabriel I couldn’t part with. That would be a devastation I wouldn’t recover from. That’s why the Creator chose to show me this particular moment. Without already knowing its outcome I wouldn’t have been able to make the decision.
I looked at Russ expecting my eyes to fill with tears. Instead I felt a wave of calm relief wash over me. “I don’t need to kiss you to know that we’re more than a supernatural bond Russ. Of course I know that. But Gabriel and I are more than that too. I don’t know how I know that, I just do. I can feel it.”
Russ’s face turned an angry red while Gabriel’s seemed to turn pale. I sm
iled at Gabriel and took hold of his hand. He seemed too scared to breathe as he waited for me to continue speaking. “I am not choosing you out of obligation,” I told him. “What I feel for you doesn’t feel the same as what I feel for Russ, but I do love you.”
Gabriel’s eyes glossed over and he finally managed a tiny smile. “And I love you Danielle. From the instant I first saw you, I was in love with you.”
Our moment was shattered by the sound of glass breaking. Russ had put his fist through the driver’s side window of his father’s car. He was bleeding all over but didn’t seem to care.
I tried to see if he was all right, but he wrenched himself away when I reached out to him.
“I’m so sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” he repeated incredulous. “You’re sorry? After an entire life together that’s all I get from you?”
I shrugged helplessly. “You’re still my best friend,” I said quietly. “I still love you Russ. Always. I promise.”
My hand went to the necklace around my throat. When I touched it Russ looked away, hurt. Without words he opened the door, brushed aside the broken glass and climbed behind the wheel of the car.
“Where are you going?” I asked through the missing window after he’d slammed the door shut. “What are you going to do?”
“What do you care?”
“Russ.”
“You were never just a best friend to me, Dani. Ever. I can’t stick around and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life.”
My eyes and nose started to burn and I sniffled before I spoke. “You’re right. Splitting up probably is the best thing for us.”
Russ had still been hoping I’d change my mind and choose him up until that very moment. I could see it in his eyes as he finally gave up. Instead of watching his heart break, the way Gabriel’s had in my vision, I watched him turn to ice. I swear the warmth literally drained from his entire body.
He grabbed our quilt that I’d left on the back seat and threw it at me through the broken window. “Take this stupid thing with you.”
That’s the moment I went numb. All of this was too much. I pulled the quilt to my chest and just stopped feeling. “I’ll miss you,” I admitted to both of us.
Russ revved the engine and then smiled a cold, cruel smile at me. “See you around, Danielle.”
I had to jump back when he gunned it and went speeding off. I stood there staring at him until long after he was out of sight. I was in shock. I couldn’t believe he was really gone. Forever.
I didn’t move until I felt Gabriel’s hand come down on my shoulder. “I’m sorry Danielle. I’m sure you need a moment, but I fear we must leave now. Mr. Devereaux is sure to wake soon.”
The mention of Alex snapped me out of it. Gabriel was right. There was too much going on at the moment to let myself fall apart.
I stumbled over to Alex and stared down at his sleeping form. “My whole life,” I said to no one in particular. “He treated me like a daughter. I thought he really loved me.”
Gabriel came to stand next to me and weaved our fingers together. “I believe he really does. He may have wanted to use your power, but his affection for you was real. Is real. Russ’s too. I believe they will both always love you.”
I let go a long heavy sigh. “I know. I know that. Alex may have kept things from Russ and me, but he’s still a good man. In his own way he really was doing what he thought was best for us. That’s all he’s ever done. I can’t even blame him for what he did to his wife. He did it to save Russ’s life. I’ve killed a werewolf and a vampire now for the same reason and I’d do it again.”
I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I knelt down next to Alex. “He’s a good man,” I said again as I found his wallet.
“Are you robbing him, Danielle?”
I chuckled a little at Gabriel’s horror. “You’re too pure for your own good. We’re going to need the cash and he’d insist on giving it to me anyway if he was awake.”
Gabriel didn’t argue. I put Alex’s wallet back in his pocket and got a little choked up knowing it was time to leave him. With Russ gone it was that much harder to say goodbye to Alex. He was the last of my family. Once I walked away from him I would officially have lost everyone I’ve ever cared about in my whole former life.
One tear became many as I bent over and pressed my lips to Alex’s cheek. “Love you, Alex.”
I stood up and reached out for Gabriel but he stepped back. “Don’t you need to remain a warlock?” he asked.
I hadn’t even realized I was one, but when I’d kissed Alex I’d changed. I thought about it for a moment and then shook my head. “There’s no point. I’m too exhausted to hold a spell right now. We just need to find a place to rest for a while and then we can figure out what we’re going to do in the morning.
“Very well.”
Gabriel was relieved that he was allowed to pull me to him and I happily sank into his embrace. He hugged me for a moment, and then tucked me into his side as he walked me away from Alex.
We found a park about a mile or so away, and, too tired to go any further, we climbed into the big plastic tube of a slide hoping it might do something to hide our auras as well as block the chill of the night. My quilt wasn’t very big, but it was way better than nothing and coupled with the shelter of the tube and Gabriel’s warm body I was actually quite comfortable.
It wasn’t until we were settled and things got quiet that I really started to feel the consequence of my decision. When I closed my eyes my mind wandered and I couldn’t stop it from thinking about Russ. The moment I thought about the kiss we’d shared in my vision, the vision itself began to play again in my mind.
When the vision was over I realized I was crying into Gabriel’s chest. I could feel his hand stroking my head. “Danielle?” he whispered in a strangled voice. “If you believe you have made a mistake, I would understand. I will help you find him if that is what you need.”
I doubted Gabriel would ever stop being self-conscious about Russ, but I knew I needed to do my best to help him, so I quit crying and crawled out of the tube where I could sit up comfortably. “It’s not that,” I said as Gabriel climbed out next to me.
I leaned against him and waited for him to wrap the quilt around us both before continuing on. “It’s actually a bit of a relief to have him gone.” As I admitted it, I realized how true my statement was. “You don’t understand how hard it’s been to be with both of you, knowing that I was constantly hurting everyone. I’ll miss him, but I finally feel like I can breathe again.”
“Are you really sure about us? Are you sure this is what you want?” Gabriel’s face had gone pale in the moonlight. He looked down at his lap and his voice shook again as he choked out his next sentence. “I could not bear it if you stayed with me but spent your life regretting your decision.”
It wasn’t fair. I made my choice, and even chose him, yet I was still hurting him. “Gabriel, I saw a different outcome of tonight’s events. When you guys all made me look into your future the other day, I saw tonight. Only in the vision when Russ told me to prove I didn’t love him I let him kiss me. That kiss broke your heart so badly that you left. You gave up on me. I watched a piece of you die and then you went back to the consulate.”
Gabriel stiffened beside me but didn’t interrupt. I gave his hand a squeeze and said, “I didn’t change the vision to spare you that heartache.”
Gabriel finally met my eyes again but he was full of confusion.
“I did it because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. After the vision ended that day, I kissed you because I was so relieved that you were still standing there. I was so relieved it had all been a dream. When the dream caught up with me tonight I knew that no matter what I did I would lose one of you. When it came down to it, I didn’t really have a choice. I couldn’t let you go.”
“Danielle,” Gabriel whispered. He tried to say more, but couldn’t seem to find any words to follow my name.
“Russ
and I were so much alike we were practically the same person,” I said. “But then you came along. You were so different, and strong, and good. I don’t think it was the torture that’s changed me. I think it was you. I love you both, but I need you.”
And I made him cry. Not, like, tears or anything, of course, but you know. There was definitely moisture in his eyes and he had to clear his throat before he whispered, “Thank you, Danielle.” For a guy that’s basically the same thing.
I’ve never been good with big, serious, mushy-gushy moments. I was absolutely desperate to break the tension so I nudged his shoulder and said, “Plus, you know, Russ doesn’t have any tattoos.”
Gabriel barked out a startled laugh and then kissed me as if he’d been holding back forever and simply couldn’t restrain himself a moment longer. It was the first time he seemed truly desperate for my affection. He was so cute that I started giggling.
Apparently Gabriel wasn’t sharing my playful mood. “Danielle, I am not trying to be funny,” he practically growled as he continued to attack my mouth.
Of course that only made me laugh outright. “You’re right.” I attempted to sober myself. “I’m sorry.” I gave him one good, long kiss and then pulled back with a sigh.
Gabriel understood my thoughts and pulled me back into our makeshift bed. “Get some rest, Danielle.”
I didn’t have to be told twice.
I was standing in a large round room that looked every bit as medieval gothic as the consulate. The inside was made mostly of stone and the only light came from torches on the walls and the candles lit in the middle of the room.
I’d seen the altar before, in another dream, but it was so much more horrific this time because Gabriel was sprawled out on a stone slab in the middle of the circle. He appeared to be in a deep sleep, which I assumed was spelled.
Then a man draped in a dark cloak so big I couldn’t make out a single feature of his face stepped up to the altar chanting in the same language I used to hear Russ mumbling when he was doing magic. As he said his incantation, one by one candles set at the five points of the star drawn on the floor beneath the altar whooshed to life. After the last one was lit, the cloaked figure pulled out the same dagger the homeless guy had used in my previous vision and slashed Gabriel’s wrists. Gabriel never even flinched.
