by Tilly Greene
It was incredible what doctors were capable of doing these days to bring about survival. Apparently, when the medical personnel had determined it was hopeless to save her, they hadn’t yet given up on the baby. Less than two hours later and after much discussion, Maisie Buchanan, Catriona’s mum, had made the difficult decision to keep her daughter hooked onto a ventilator for the baby to have any chance at survival.
As far as he was concerned, the Buchanans needed all the prayers and good wishes they had to offer.
“Everyone, raise your pints to the brave lass, Catriona Buchanan, and her young son, Hamish. May every day of his life be better than the last.”
“Here, here!”
“Health and happiness to Hamish!”
“Here, here!”
“For young Catriona, may she soon be settled into a much better place amongst the angels.”
“To Catriona!”
Chapter One
Thirty years later
London, England
An electrifying buzz filled the Royal Albert Hall. Alain knew it had nothing to do with the party that was going on and everything to do with them. They rarely attended functions in London, so when they did, a certain amount of excitement followed them.
On top of that, his companion could escalate matters to a fever pitch. His cousin had that kind of effect on people, always had and always would. It had never bothered him that Hamish was the main draw when they attended parties together. Even though he was almost a year older, he felt far too protective of the other man for something as silly as who gained more attention from the ladies to matter.
They didn’t go to many of these formal social functions, but when they did, it was usually fun. Tonight wasn’t fun and it was their fault. They weren’t really trying to take part in the festivities. In fact, they were standing off to the side of the main ballroom, ignoring the guests and speaking only to each other.
“Who do you think will be the first woman to ask the question? I think Sarah Marshall will. Age hadn’t diminished that lady’s sassiness. I swear, last time I saw her and was wearing a kilt, she pinched my ass.” He tried to engage Hamish, except he was met with silence.
The night’s black-tie event required formal attire, and being Scottish, for them this meant kilts and jackets. Alain didn’t bother to hold back his grin. They wore tartans most days back home and it never raised an eyebrow, but whenever they donned this more ceremonial set, it always brought out the saucy side of women. Usually, they received a kick out of fielding the questions of what they were or weren’t wearing beneath the kilts, only tonight didn’t follow any of their typical patterns.
He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what it was, just that there was something going on with his cousin. Over the past couple of weeks there’d been hints of it, but nothing this drastic.
Out of the corner of his eye, Alain looked at the other man. Hamish Buchanan took physical perfection to a whole other level, all without trying. They were closer than most siblings and physically, they could be twins. In fact, he and Hamish were different in two ways, their eyes and hair. His cousin kept his hair slightly longer. More times than he could count, he heard women say this gave the man an untamed look. There was also an element of wildness in his golden brown eyes. They glowed with fire burning behind them, like they were now, and this further heightened his concern.
Despite everyone thinking they knew what type of man his cousin was, there was still much about him that was a mystery to the outside world. Only family and very close friends knew Hamish, who he really was and Alain would do whatever he could to keep it that way. That meant he had one real mission while they were guests at this very public party. That was to make sure the other man stayed as calm as possible. With this challenge in mind, he tried again to engage him in a lighthearted conversation.
“Now there’s a woman!”
“No, she’s doll perfect, which to me clearly states she was created under a plastic surgeon’s knife. Those breasts are water balloons, and like her lips, overfilled. There’s nothing natural or real about the young lady. Nothing about her appeals to me or my cock.”
Usually it was he, Alain thought, who was blunt and crude when teasing his cousin about women. Tonight he had a mission and had hoped for a lighter mood from Hamish in order to tempt him to, at the very least, think about Maisie’s request. It was no secret his cousin would do anything for their grandmum, although right now he doubted this one had a chance. Definitely not with the attitude the other man was showing tonight, but at least he was talking, so he’d keep trying.
“Okay, what about the redhead over there? Her legs go on forever.”
“Nice, but no thanks. She’s not my type.” Hamish wasn’t looking at the woman when he answered his cousin’s ridiculous attempt at pimping.
“I haven’t seen them yet, but I heard the Watson sisters were supposed to be here. They’re pretty good-looking and rumor is that they’re fabulous to fu—”
“No.” The answer was bluntly stated and without any qualifiers.
“Hamish!”
“What?”
“There are many beautiful women here tonight. Snap your fingers and any one of them would be yours for as long as you wanted.”
“Listen, I’ve already told you that I’m not here to find a bedmate.”
“What about a wife?”
“Fuck you! Above all others, you should know the lady who owns me heart, body and soul is what I want, and trust me, she won’t be here. How big my bank account may be, what clothes I wear or where my home is won’t matter to this particular woman. She’ll love me for me. And when I say me, I’m including what this selection of society would consider my more depraved qualities. I know I won’t find anyone with all these qualities here at a charity event where people come to be seen, but not necessarily to give. End of story. What’s up with you? You’re starting to sound like Maisie.”
After swigging the last of his whiskey, Hamish started making his way to the bar for another. Before he’d gone two steps from his cousin, he grinned and made one last parting shot from over his shoulder just to rankle the man.
“You’re single, Alain, how about going and finding a woman for yourself. That’ll keep our gran happy.”
Hamish knew his cousin was a good man, but this evening he found him too annoying to be around. Trying for a calming breath, he tunneled his fingers through his hair and felt the boned ridges resting just beneath the surface on either side of his temple. Something was definitely not right tonight. Whatever was happening inside him had been made worse by his feeling anxious and restless. It would be best for everyone if he went home early. His patience was obviously on a very short leash and he’d hate for it to snap here in the middle of England’s upper crust.
They might be shocked by what a beast he could be.
Instead of making an extraordinarily early exit, he made his way to the end of the line for one last drink. It was difficult to do, but he forced himself to keep a tight hold on his patience. He wasn’t in the mood to be bothered and decided it would be a good idea if he used his body language to discourage people from stopping to talk with him. Crossing his arms over his chest, he thought about how small talk wasn’t his forte and neither was a large function like this one. It didn’t help matters that everything about tonight seemed more unbearable with each minute that passed and he hadn’t a clue why.
There were no surprises here and normally he’d consider this function a worthwhile party to attend. Every year he came down to London for this particular event, happily lending his name and presence to the cause in order to help them gain more attention and therefore more money. In return, the organizers guaranteed his privacy and never disclosed the amount he gave in his mum’s name. It bothered him how there was always someone who wanted to know how much he donated, as if it mattered. That was personal and he’d do whatever it took to keep it that way.
Having recently celebrated his thirtieth birthday, Hamish thou
ght it was possible he’d reached a turning point in his life. Maybe there was something big out there, waiting for him to reach out, take hold of it and start a new path in his life. It was just a theory though. Consciously or not, the frustration of not knowing why he was on edge was becoming unbearable.
Running his hands through his hair again, double-checking the ridges hadn’t changed, he couldn’t help but think how luck, both good and bad, had played such an important part in his life. His first breath hadn’t been smooth and he hadn’t had a parent to soothe him. His mum had died with his birth and his father couldn’t handle setting eyes on him. Luck had been with him and had family stepping into the void and taking him into their loving embrace.
He believed his difficult start and the unconditional acceptance of his family had a great deal to do with the man he’d become. Receiving his education at home had also been a good turn. It had allowed him to excel in areas that interested him the most, like computers and maths. In no time at all, his focus and skills in these two areas brought him incredible fiscal success. Once he’d ensured that his grandmum and the rest of his family were comfortably settled, he’d moved on to the next challenge. Property development opportunities in Inverness had caught his attention and he’d jumped into the arena with both feet. His timing had been perfect and he’d made an even bigger killing. He was still making money hand over fist and enjoyed what he was doing.
All of this success and security should mean he was satisfied with his life, but he wasn’t. Hamish knew there was something more out there for him. Problem was he hadn’t been able to figure out what it was, so he could pursue it. There was a sense inside him that once he had whatever it was, everything would be right again.
“Treble whisky, straight and no rocks. Thank you.”
Taking the crystal tumbler of the golden elixir from the bartender, Hamish moved off to the side. Every year Alain came along to both give support for the Women’s Defense Fund and to help keep him on an even keel. Apparently tonight their plan had backfired, because there was nothing cool or calm about how he was feeling. Running a finger along his collar, he took a sip and realized he was running hot, as if he had a temperature. Odd, he thought, he didn’t think he was coming down with anything, nor did he normally feel this warm. Shaking his head cleared the muck away and he went back to thinking about family.
They settled him.
The more he thought about it, the more he believed Alain must’ve folded under the pressure and joined the family’s quest to find him a woman, specifically a wife. There were few secrets within the Buchanan clan. Every one of them knew what type of monster he truly was and unfailingly kept his confidence. However, his cousin was the only person who knew the true extent of his more extreme needs. Alain knew and didn’t judge his cousin’s alternative sexual preferences which made the search for a companion a difficult undertaking, if not impossible.
Frustrated, Hamish took another drink of whisky and decided ten more minutes was all his hosts were getting from him tonight. It would have to be enough this year. He noticed a particularly determined social maven making her way toward him. Walking away from the wall, he started to circle the room. A moving target was harder to catch.
On an evening like this one, all sorts of things filled his mind, but tonight was different. Since he’d started getting ready to go out, there’d been something he didn’t understand rapidly growing inside him. It wasn’t a thing, but an intense need for some unknown and it left him feeling eager, agitated and uneasy. He needed to figure it out, and quickly, before things spiraled beyond his control.
Stalking the edges of the party was making it worse, and yet, now that he’d started delving in to what was bothering him, he couldn’t find the will to stop. Having defined some of what he felt, it was time to figure out what was happening to cause this unease in him. With that thought, an image flashed into his mind and he immediately pushed it away because it didn’t make sense. The problem was the same picture kept coming back until he truly looked at it and then put himself into it.
Not that it made much more sense, but as he turned it around in his mind, looking at from every different direction, it appeared as if he literally was chasing something. Just putting a name to what was going on inside him had his heart beating so fast, like he was running full speed. Except he wasn’t, he was walking around a ballroom, dressed up in his formal kilt attire and feeling out of sorts.
Without thinking about what he was doing, his eyes raced around the room, assessing the women attending the function. He took note of this one and that, casting them aside with little thought. While he continued tracing his gaze over various women, there was a need growing inside him until he finally settled on what it was he was searching for. He needed to find a woman.
No, not just any woman, but his woman. His mate.
Damn! Where had this focused need to find and mark a mate suddenly come from? When had he ever thought of a woman in such terms? He’d like to say it was his cousin’s fault for putting the idea in his head, but it wasn’t. It was his life, his needs that were making him feel this way and he’d have to find a way through it.
One thing he was sure of was that the woman meant for him would have to be very special, because the particulars that made him who he was could be seen as horrific. He’d always believed any woman would run when he was fully exposed, but the one who belonged with him wouldn’t leave. With a fierce frown marking his face, he picked up the pace as he moved more intently around the room. Five more minutes and not a second longer, then he’d be free.
“Grace! You finally made it. What took you so long?” A nasally high-pitched voice shouted from somewhere behind him right before he felt a body brush by on his left. Natural reflexes had him following the flash of gaudy red as it moved past him.
“I missed my train and the next one was delayed in York.” A soft brogue laced the words and caught his attention. His cock twitched with interest. Fascinating, especially considering that he’d just discovered why he was so on edge. On a whim, Hamish changed his route to follow behind the duo as they made their way toward the bar.
“Thoughtful for inviting me…very hectic…glass of wine…”
The two women kept up a senseless conversation, which he ignored, instead choosing to look over the new arrival. He had yet to see her from the front, but what he heard and could see definitely caught and held his attention.
Trying not to be obvious about what he was doing, Hamish looked over the woman walking in front of him in one long, slow sweep. First to catch his notice was blonde hair that looked as soft as silk and cut rigidly straight above her shoulders. This short style and her head movement gave him a peek of her very tempting neck. The sight of her satinlike skin left him wanting to kiss his way along the column to test exactly how soft she was. Then there was a light mossy green slinky silk dress embracing her body, outlining curves that made his mouth water. She had lush hips and an ass he’d love to hold and stroke. Without any pockets to thrust his hand into, he knew it was obvious to anyone who looked exactly how interested he was in the lady.
Having heard her talking, it was quickly becoming a necessity to hear her sweet voice speaking to him and not another. This discovery caused the tension already racing through him to ramp up. The power this unknown person had over him made him uncomfortable, and despite this, he couldn’t find the will to walk away.
Not from her.
Alain came up beside him as he stood off to the side, silently watching the duo join the end of the line for a drink.
“The blonde in green. Saw her come in and knew she’d catch your attention. Have you seen anything other than her fine ass?”
“Stop right there.”
“What?”
Hamish looked at his cousin as irritation brought his eyebrows sharply together. Anger had filled him the second he heard the other man talking about this woman as they had others. That had never happened before. It didn’t matter that he’d been thinkin
g the same thing. There was something about this lady that felt different than others. This one felt very personal. He didn’t want anyone to speak of her using these terms.
Thankfully, without him having to say anything, Alain understood what he needed.
“Fine, give me your drink and go queue up for another.”
Hamish shrugged and admitted to himself it was a good idea. Handing the glass over, he then closed the distance between them in four large steps.
Standing behind the blonde in green, he inhaled her feminine scent, and in return, his body grew even more interested. With his lust gathering steam, his eyelids fell to half-mast as he breathed her unique essence. Heather and a hint of something else made her unique and teased him, giving him ideas of possessing this woman in the tall grass beside his loch in the heat of summer. There was definitely something special here that pulled him closer to her. This caused him a great deal of discomfort, which for him and his condition wasn’t a good combination.
In the end, he decided the answer to this problem was to discover more about her.
Being a typical organized man, he decided to list what he did know. Her name was Grace, and she smelled and sounded of Scotland. As far as he was concerned, it was a great start. There was also a sense of femininity and delicacy about her that he found incredibly attractive. It wasn’t because she was small and curvaceous. There was something else about her that called his male instincts to the surface. The spike heels he saw her walking in when she lifted her long dress so as not to trip allowed him to determine the top of her head would come up to his chin. This meant flat-footed she’d reach his shoulders or thereabouts.
While looking at her neck, he watched as her hand reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Her wrist was slight and he imagined how those graceful fingers would feel tracing intricate and erotic patterns over his flesh. From that point on, he was lost in the need she created in him without ever seeing her face or knowing her full name.
