by Tina J
“Kenron, you feel so good. Mmmmmm. I’m gonna cum again.” I opened my eyes and witnessed her do exactly what she said.
“Keep riding ma.” She instructed me to sit against the headboard, turned in the cowgirl position, grabbed my legs and rode me so good, I fucked up and came inside. We usually use condoms or I pull out if we forget.
“K, I came in you.”
“I know.” Her breathing started slowing down.
“You still have the pills in the bathroom?” She asked about the extra Plan B’s I kept at the house.
She’s the only woman besides my family who’s been here and has a key. Most men invite every woman they fuck with to their spot but not me. You can’t have peace when too many bitches know where you lay your head.
“Yea.” I gave her attitude and I’m not sure why.
“You ok?” She climbed on top and pecked my lips.
“Yup.” I wasted no time stroking my man to get hard again. Since we fucked up, I may as well continue feeling her walls, raw.
After we finished and she was asleep, I pulled the covers over her and checked my messages like I did every night before I went to bed. I never wanted to go to sleep with them on my phone for some reason.
A few were from my boys and others were from the bitches I fucked here and there. One came with a video message and I must say, shorty did her thing without me. I found her number in my phone and hit her up. I probably should’ve waited until the morning but K is sleep. It’s not like we’re a couple so I’m not disrespecting her.
“Hey sexy. I see you got my message.” Blue had one of those phone sex operator voices. She could have you whip your dick out and cum over the phone off that alone.
“I got it but why you doing it while I’m not there?” I went in the kitchen to grab something to drink.
“I tried waiting but you didn’t answer. You know when I’m horny, I have to do my thing.”
“I do know.” I smiled, twisted the cap off the water and took a sip.
“What’s up for tomorrow?” I questioned because K had to work overnight. We didn’t fuck all the time but she did stay over a lot. If I knew she was going to stay with me, I’d never sleep with a woman and come here to her, just in case she wanted to fuck.
“You tell me.” I was thinking and told her I’ll let her know.
“I’ll see you in the morning or whenever you get here.”
“You got that. Keep that pussy wet for me.” I heard someone clear their throat and turned to see K crying.
“I’ll hit you back.” I hung the phone up and placed it on the counter.
“What’s wrong?” I noticed she was dressed, had the purse on her shoulder and keys in her hand.
“My phone rang and it was Rhythm asking me to come get her. I searched the room for you to say I’d be back and you weren’t there. I figured you were down here grabbing something to drink so I put my clothes on and came to say goodbye. Imagine my surprise to hear you making plans to fuck another bitch.”
“K.” She put her hand up.
“Before you say it, I’m well aware we’re not a couple and you’re free to do whatever. I walked into this fuck buddy thing with my eyes open; knowing you’d continue bedding other women.” I could tell how hurt she was.
“You couldn’t wait for me to leave Jamaica? I mean, am I that bad in bed you had to make plans to be with another woman less than 24 hours of having me?”
“K, you know it’s not like that.” I tried to move closer, but each step I took she backed away.
“It’s not, says the man telling a woman to keep her pussy wet. Is this what you do when I go to sleep?”
“Nah. She sent me a message and fuck! I shouldn’t have called her back. I’m sorry K.”
“Jamaica, I’m not comfortable with this arrangement anymore. We can be friends and…” I never gave her the chance to finish because my hand was wrapped around her throat. The thought of her leaving me alone made me snap.
“I don’t care what you want. You better be in my bed tonight and every night like you’ve been doing.”
WHAP! She smacked the fuck outta me. If this were anyone else, I would’ve already ended them.
“The moment you put your hands around my neck only verified we don’t need to be together.
“Shit! I’m sorry K. Let me make it up to you.”
“Goodbye Jamaica.” She went to open the door, turned to me and shook her head. I knew we were done and it was killing me.
“K, we are never gonna be over.”
“You don’t scare me Jamaica and you know why?” She placed her hand on the side of my face.
“Because inside that cold heart of yours, I know there’s love for me.” I stayed silent because she’s right. I did have strong feelings for her. I wiped the tears falling from her eyes. I knew she was in love with me because she’s voiced it plenty of times. I just never reciprocated the feelings I had.
“Too bad your dick makes all your decisions. Goodbye.” She hopped in her car and sped out my driveway.
Kalila (K)
I wiped the tears running down my face, and tried paying attention to the road but it was hard when I was currently suffering a heartbreak. Like I told Jamaica, I’m aware we weren’t a couple and how he slept with other women. I’m not upset about that as much as I am with him calling a woman right after we had sex. Yes, he was my first and showed me everything in the bedroom but am I horrible? It has to be mediocre for him to look elsewhere.
Am I in love with him? Absolutely! Do I deserve better? Of course, but when your heart is with someone, it’s not easy tearing yourself away. No, my self-esteem isn’t low and I can get men but I wanted him. I assumed being under him all the time, sexing him like crazy and revealing my feelings for him would make him see, I’m the one.
I was fooling myself, knowing bitches threw themselves at him and Kruz. The difference is, his boy never took the bait, where he slung his dick any and everywhere.
People didn’t know about us and it hurt like hell listening to women discuss wanting or even being with him while we were out. It’s like the whole fucking town slept with him. If women saw us together, they’d still approach him because they only looked at me as Zahra’s sister and he must’ve been helping me with something.
He never disrespected me in public and would tell them to beat it but I’m sure he hooked up with them at a later date. I do know after tonight, I refuse to waste any more time with him. If I need sex, I’ll do myself or find someone who isn’t afraid of him. I can’t continue loving a man who won’t commit or even express his feelings for me.
I parked in front of Rhythm’s house, pulled the visor down and tried to fix my face. It was no use because the tears wouldn’t stop falling. I don’t know why I allowed this secret relationship to go on for two years without putting my foot down. The only people who knew about us were Kruz and Rhythm.
I should’ve known after a year he wouldn’t commit but following my heart, I stayed and now look. I’m sitting in front of my best friend’s house looking pathetic and trying my hardest not to answer Jamaica, who has rung my phone back to back since I pulled off.
“OH, HELL NO! WHAT DID HE DO?” Rhythm came out barking when she saw my face. She didn’t even know what happened and was ready to fight. I got out the car and hugged her tight. I loved this chick as if she came from my mother’s womb. Blood couldn’t make us more related.
“Can we go in?” She closed the car door and looped her arm in mine as we stepped inside.
“TiTi!” My six-year-old Godson/ nephew Axel, called out and ran to me.
“What are you doing up lil man? Its late.” I glanced at Rhythm who was putting her shoes on.
“I’m sick.”
“What’s wrong?”
“That’s why I called you. My car broke down and I think he has an ear infection. His fever is going up and I’m nervous. Can you take us?”
“Let’s go.” I picked him up, while Rhythm grabbed their thi
ngs and locked the door. We both stopped and glanced at the dudes across the street at the motel where we worked. They were outside smoking weed as usual in front of the room.
“I bet its two.” I told her referencing to how many chicks a piece they had in there.
“Two men. I would say three or four because they’re greedy and probably switch up.” I sat Axel in the backseat and placed his seatbelt on.
“True.” We always tried to take bets on people who would rent a room.
“How many times?” I asked about my phone she picked up.
“DAMN! Bitch, he called fifty-six times.” She turned the phone to me so I could see.
“Ooooh mommy. No cursing.” We started laughing.
“I’m sorry sweetie.” I asked her to cut the phone off and just as she went to do it, there was a bang on my window.
“Get out!” I sucked my teeth. This motherfucker must’ve tracked my damn phone.
“My nephew is sick. I’m taking him to the ER.”
“Rhythm can take him. Let’s go!” He snatched the door open and helped me get out.
“TiTi, you not coming?” I heard and watched as Rhythm walked over to the driver’s side.
“Sis, I promise I’d stay with you but he needs to go.”
“I’m fine sis. Call me when you’re done.” She gave me a hug and mean mugged Jamaica.
“Don’t put your hands on her.” He snapped his neck at me. I guess he assumed she knew what he did.
“Love you Axel.”
“Love you too auntie.” He blew me a kiss and I used my phone to call an Uber. Jamaica had no reason to be here and I don’t plan on staying.
“I’m sorry Kalila.” I rolled my eyes and sat on the porch. Rhythm stayed in a two-family house with her son. Her landlord stayed on one side and she on the other with Axel. She was trying to find something smaller because the rent was too high, which is why she always worked overtime. She refused to be homeless and I don’t blame her.
“Go home Jamaica. Don’t you have to get ready for your fuck buddy in the morning?”
“K, what do you want from me?”
“Nothing Kenron. Not a fucking thing.” He hated when I cursed but he should know I only did it when someone pissed me off.
“Are you gonna say something?” He stood in front of me.
“What do you want me to say Jam, huh?” I always went back and forth calling him both names.
“Am I hurt? Yes. Do I still love you? Yes. Will I get over it? Eventually. You can go now.”
“Why do you love me Kalila?”
“What?” He caught me off guard with the question. He lifted my face and made me look at him.
“Why do you love me?”
“I love everything about you Kenron.” He smiled when I called him that.
“I love how you make love to me and then hold me all night. I love how when we go out of the country on vacations, you treat me like I’m the only woman in the world. I love the talks we have about having a future together. I love how gentle you are with my feelings, and knowing you’re with other women, you never try to hurt me. You keep that and your street life away from me to make sure I have a smile on my face but you fucked up Kenron.” His smile disappeared.
“I…” He couldn’t even say the words and that hurt. We talk about any and everything, yet; he couldn’t say those three words to me.
“Don’t worry about it baby. You may not say it, but I know how you feel. Well I thought I did.” I stepped off Rhythm’s porch when the Uber pulled up. I turned around and walked over to him. He wiped the tears falling down my face and hugged me. I pushed him off and got myself together.
“Just know that as long as I live, you and only you, will always be first love. I love you Kenron. Goodnight.” I kissed his lips and ran to the car. I could hear him calling my name, yet; I refused to turn around because I may go back to him.
I asked the driver to pull off and went home. I didn’t have to worry about him stopping by because again, no one knew about us and since I live in the center of the hood, he’d never pop up. I didn’t live in the projects but I may as well have. Shit, my house is directly across the street.
************************
“Here girl.” My mom shouted and threw the house phone at me.
“Ouch ma.” I hadn’t even opened my eyes yet and here she is throwing phones at me.
“Hurry up and get yo ass up. Its Saturday and we got cleaning to do.” She went to leave and turned around.
“Oh. Somebody sent yo dirty ass some flowers.” She smiled and told me I must’ve turned some nigga out.
“Bye ma.” I hated she talked shit first and then said something nice at the end.
“Hello.”
“Hey TiTi.”
“Axel. How are you feeling honey?” I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days. The night Rhythm took him to the doctors they kept him overnight. They diagnosed him with an ear and sinus infection, gave him antibiotics and said he needed to rest. I planned on stopping by but I ended up covering her shift at work and was tired as fuck.
“I’m ok. Mommy said we’re coming over in a little while. Are you awake?”
“Yea. Let me speak to mommy.” He passed the phone.
“How long does he have to be on the medicine?”
“Until it runs out. I tried to get him to stay home at least one more day but as you can tell, his ass ain’t listening. Do you know he woke up asking if you were ok because the big scary guy was still there when we left?” I busted out laughing and went downstairs to see who delivered me flowers.
“Here’s the card.” My mom handed it to me.
“Ugh, why did you take it out the flowers?”
“You need to be happy. Your pregnant ass sister almost read it and we both know whoever you fucking is a secret. She’d probably blast it to everyone if she knew who.”
“Did your mom just say Zahra’s pregnant?”
“Girl yes. Hurry up and get over here so we can grill my mom.”
“Y’all ain’t grilling shit and tell Rhythm to bring my grandson over here. Got him sick and shit.” She started laughing. My mom loved Rhythm the same as I.
“Well?”
“Well what?” I snapped on Zahra who stepped in from off the back-porch half dressed.
“Who are the flowers from? Must be one of these knuckleheads out here.” I waved her off and strolled in the living room. I opened the card and covered my mouth.
Kalila, I’m so fucking sorry baby. I never meant to hurt you. I’m going half-crazy right now because you won’t answer my calls or texts. I miss you K. Call me. I placed the card against my heart and leaned on the window smiling. I appreciated the gesture but he still hasn’t told me those three words to my face and he probably won’t.
I’ve been around him long enough to know he’s too hard core to let a woman know how he feels. He thinks people will find him weak if he shows emotions. I told him many times it’s not true but he lives by it. You can’t make someone see what they don’t want to.
“Damn, he got you smiling hard.”
“Whatever.” I ran upstairs to shower and turned my phone on. There were tons of messages from him. I could’ve responded but nope. Let him sweat. If he really wants me, I’ll make his ass work for it.
I went downstairs after getting dressed and started helping my mom clean the house. The music was blasting, you could smell the incense burning and hear her singing. My mom is old school so when Fools Paradise by Melissa Morgan came on, she was in her glory. I grabbed the broom and stood next to her in the mirror.
I’m taking out this time. To give you a piece of my mind. Who do you think you are? Maybe, one day you’ll be a star, until then baby, I’m the one who’s crazy, cuz it’s the way, you make me feel.
There was a knock on the screen and both of us looked. Rhythm came in, took her phone out and used it as a microphone. All three of us swore we were getting it. Axel, had my hands in his as we danced around the living ro
om. Zahra stepped in and turned the music down. All of us stared at her.
“What? This baby has me sleepy and I can’t with y’all hollering like wolves.” She plopped down on the couch.
“You tried it heffa. Either get yo ass up to help clean or go home and sleep.” My mother told her and handed the Clorox wipes to her. She blew her breath and stormed out the door.
“Where did I go wrong with that chile?” My mother went in the kitchen and grabbed a soda.
“Nanny, I’m thirsty too.” My mom gave him some of her soda and sat him on her lap. My mother was the second mom to Rhythm and if she could’ve adopted her, she would have. Her mom is around, they just don’t fuck with each other on that level.
“Your sister is about to have a child with a man who doesn’t want her.”
“Axel, let me turn some cartoons on for you.” I took him out and sat him in the living room. I placed a blanket on him and locked the front door.
“Why is he out Rhythm?”
“Ma, I tried to keep him in but he was worried about this heffa leaving with the big scary guy.”
“Whatever. Anyway, why doesn’t Kruz want the baby?” I bypassed the conversation so my mother wouldn’t ask me who the guys was. I’m not about to tell anyone who he is, when he’s unsure about how he feels.
“Would you?” I gave my mother the side eye.
“I know all about your sister being a whore. Shit, the entire hood knows.”
“What? How?”
“I guess Kruz went out and people saw him leave with different women. We all know he wouldn’t cheat on her. Someone asked if he had a woman and he told them, and I quote what Stacey said.” Stacey is the nosy neighbor who kept my mom informed.
“I’ll never make that ho, my woman again.”
“WHATTTTTTT?” Rhythm and I shouted out. We were shocked because he worshipped the ground my sister walked on. I’m not saying they didn’t have issues because every couple does but he loved the shit outta Zahra.
“Yup. Anyway, she’s about two months and his mother called asking did I wanna help set up a damn baby shower.” It’s no secret my mom could care less about her. She felt his mom stayed in their business too much and I agree.
