by Zoe Allison
Eva nodded. “I think I’m hesitant because school wasn’t much fun for me. I wasn’t bullied or anything, but I did feel pretty marginalized”—she smiled—”for being a massive square, obviously.”
Damon flashed a grin. “Don’t forget also being a speccy four-eyes.”
Eva punched his arm lightly. “Thin ice, Evans.”
He grinned more widely then stuck out his bottom lip and rubbed his arm, looking at her with puppy-dog eyes. “You always did pack a punch. I was on the receiving end of a few of those at school. Even when we played ‘kiss catch’, you still used to punch me instead of kiss me.”
There’s no way I’d make that mistake again. Eva raised her eyebrow. “That’s all you deserved.” She leaned back, smiling.
“True,” Damon said. “I was a very naughty boy.”
A shiver shot up Eva’s spine as thoughts regarding how naughty Damon might be came tumbling into her mind. He caught her eye, but this time there was no wink.
He leaned towards her. “Seriously, though. I didn’t know you felt that way at school. Marginalized, I mean. You never told me that.”
Eva looked at him. “It wasn’t the sort of thing we would’ve discussed. We didn’t speak much at high school, did we?” She smiled. “Anyway, you were part of the popular gang, so I didn’t think you’d be concerned about the plight of us unpopular sorts.”
He frowned. “You weren’t unpopular, Eva.”
She laughed. “Yeah I was. You don’t have to be polite. I know that having a brain and wearing glasses wasn’t sexy.”
He raised his eyebrow. “Says who?”
Eva’s heart rate sped up. She cleared her throat. “Eric Donovan for one. He asked me out and I said I’d think about it. Then he and his mates started laughing at me. He said it’d only been a joke, that there was no way he’d want to go out with the least sexy girl in the school.”
Damon’s expression soured. “What an arsehole. Don’t tell me you took that idiot’s opinion to heart?”
Eva shrugged.
Damon frowned. “Did you even like him?”
She shook her head and averted her eyes. “No. I always thought he was a bit of a twat.”
Damon ducked his head a little, making her gaze meet his again. “It didn’t matter what he thought then, did it?”
Eva swallowed. Why did this even bother her over a decade later? “I guess not.”
“I reckon,” Damon said, “that the only reason he said that was because he lost face when you said you’d think about it. You didn’t say yes straight away.”
Eva frowned, unconvinced.
“Anyway,” he said, “his fragile masculinity was never any of your concern and you shouldn’t let that affect your decision about going to the reunion. The guy was a dick, and it was years ago.”
Eva nodded. “I know. It’s just something I’ve always remembered because it was so humiliating.”
Damon clenched his jaw. “I wish I’d been there. I would’ve wiped the smile off his face.” He paused, fiddling with the label on his beer bottle. “I did miss you, you know.”
Eva frowned. “What do you mean?”
“After we started hanging around with different people at school,” he said. “I missed having you as a friend.”
She smiled. He’d missed her as friend, which was lovely and filled her with a warm glow. But he’d never longed for her the way she had for him. She started to feel nervous that she might say something to give that away if they carried on talking about the subject for much longer. She took a deep breath and glanced at her watch. Time had flown. “I’d better head back or Mum’ll have the search party out for me.”
Damon looked at his own watch. “Wow, I didn’t realise the time. You have tantalized me for too long, Dr. Mathers.”
Eva gathered her jacket and they headed for the exit. Damon held the door for her. She caught his scent and her pulse quickened.
“Do you want me to walk you back to yours?” Damon asked.
She shook her head. “That’s okay. It’s out of your way. Anyhow, I’ll be fine. It’s only two minutes more from where I leave you.” Eva was nervous that him walking her to the door might feel awkward. She’d be dying to kiss him and he might get that something was up.
“Sure?”
“Yeah. I’ve always got my super punch if needed.”
They soon approached the crossroads where they’d part company. Eva tended to hug her friends goodbye, but as they drew to a stop, she suffered an internal struggle about whether to do that or not. There was a real risk she might burst into flames at the sensation of being hugged by Damon. But then it’d be awkward if she just waved at him or shook his hand.
Damon smiled. “I really enjoyed that. Fancy hanging out another time if you’re free?”
“Yes, absolutely.” She cleared her throat. “I mean. I’d like that.” She hoped that he wouldn’t read into her enthusiasm and guess correctly regarding her feelings. Eva hesitated, still unsure whether to just walk off or not. Then the parting gesture was decided for her when Damon enveloped her in a bear hug, lifting her off the ground. It was done in a jokey manner, but every fibre of her being was shocked into heightened awareness. She was conscious of the press of his chest, the feel of his hard thighs against her legs, the smell of him…
Then he set her down and waved as he moved away. “Text me when you get back so I know you’re home safe.” He grinned. “Or ‘face-chat’, if you prefer.”
Eva waved and turned away. She drifted home, remembering the feel of him against her.
Once back, she started analysing everything he’d said and done to try to find some shred of evidence that he might find her attractive, even just a little bit. But there was nothing concrete at all.
Chapter Seven
The next day Eva had to make a concerted effort not to obsess over Damon. She’d gone over and over everything he’d said and done the night before and was driving herself mad with it. After she’d texted him to say she was home safe, he’d messaged back to say goodnight and to let her know when he was free to meet again.
She concluded that it meant the ball was now firmly in her court. But she couldn’t text too soon or he might think her too eager—which she was, but he mustn’t know that.
So she resolved to hold out until the next weekend before texting him. He’d have the kids then anyway, so he probably wouldn’t be free until the week after.
To take her mind off it, she video-called Rachel.
Rachel connected. “Hey. How did your non-date with Damon go?”
Eva hesitated. She needed to describe it without giving away how she felt. “Fine. It was really nice to catch up. He told me about how the kids were getting on and stuff.”
Rachel sighed and rolled her eyes. “At any point did you tell him that you used to be madly in love with him at school and you still fancy the arse off him now?”
Eva stared open-mouthed. “What do you mean?”
Rachel waved her hand. “Don’t play all coy. It’s me, your best bud. I could tell you were head over heels with him at school. It was written all over your face in history class. And I know you really like him now.”
Eva put her head in her hand. “Oh God. If you can tell, that means he can too.”
Rachel smiled. “Don’t be daft. Firstly, it’s not embarrassing. He should be over the moon that someone as hot as you fancies him. Secondly, I doubt he can tell, because men are really dense about these things.”
Eva frowned. “Are they? I don’t think Callum was.”
Rachel shook her head. “That’s because he was cocky. No offence.”
Eva shrugged. “None taken.”
“I reckon it’s a good sign about a man,” Rachel continued. “If he finds it hard to tell when a woman likes him, it means he doesn’t have an over-inflated ego and doesn’t think any female who passes him the time of day must be dying to jump his bones.”
Eva nodded. “I suppose you’ve got a point.”
Rachel smiled. “Marcus had no clue, bless him. He thought I just wanted to be friends. I practically had to stand in front of him in my underwear to make the point.”
Eva sniggered at the thought of a puzzled Marcus with Rachel in her skimpy undies, hands on hips, a frown on her face. She stopped laughing. “Oh no, now I’ve just imagined you in your underwear. Weird.”
Rachel laughed. “You’ve seen me in my underwear before, you dunce.”
Eva smiled. “Oh yeah. And very nice you looked too.” Something occurred to her. “Hey, do you reckon Jane suspects I like Damon?”
Rachel nodded. “I think so.”
Eva groaned.
“Stop being a wimp,” Rachel said. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. He’s a really nice, handsome, funny guy and you’re both single.”
Eva screwed up her face. “He’s also way out of my league.”
Rachel shook her head. “For goodness sake. We aren’t at school anymore. The ridiculous pigeonholing of people no longer applies. You’re gorgeous and have everything going for you. You’re hilarious, though not as funny as me, obviously.” Rachel grinned. “And you’re clever and successful. Men are always falling over themselves for you, but you just don’t notice because your self-esteem needs a boost.”
Eva laughed, but the last part struck a chord. Her self-esteem had taken a huge knock at school, and while it had blossomed to a degree through university, after the whole Callum debacle it was now at low ebb. When she thought about it she understood that her whole relationship with Callum had worn away her confidence.
However, there was no way she could bring herself to think that she was on a level playing field with Damon. She’d had him on a pedestal for too long.
Eva felt foolish realizing that her friends had known but she hadn’t had the courage to speak to them about it. So, the next time she saw Jane, Eva decided she’d confess to her as well.
* * * *
Jane opened the spa café menu. “What do you fancy to eat? The open sandwiches are really tasty here.”
“Sounds great,” Eva said.
Jane looked up. “Not long now until you start your new job. Have you been making the most of your time off?”
Eva nodded. “I’ve been spending time with my mum and trying not to succumb to tea poisoning.”
Jane laughed. “Pardon?”
Eva rolled her eyes. “She’s some sort of tea addict. She’s always been the same. She even has a cup of tea with a hot dinner.”
Jane smiled. “She sounds sweet. Oh, how was your drink with Damon?”
“Good.” Eva nodded. “Although…”
Jane sipped her coffee. “Although what?”
Eva met Jane’s gaze. “Nothing romantic happened.”
Jane raised her eyebrows. “But you’d hoped something might?”
Eva screwed up her face. “Stupid, I know.”
Jane shook her head. “Not at all. Did you tell him that you want to be more than friends?”
Eva frowned. “No. He definitely doesn’t see me that way.”
“How do you know if you don’t speak to him about it?” Jane said. “In any case, I can’t see why he wouldn’t reciprocate. You get on great and it sounds like there’s chemistry.”
The idea of telling Damon how she felt about him made Eva feel sick, so she changed the subject. “Enough about me. How’s your love life going?”
Jane rolled her eyes. “Rubbish. I haven’t been on any good dates lately. I’m trying some of these dating apps, but I find it all a bit odd. Some of the guys’ profile pictures are quite explicit.”
Eva raised her eyebrows. “Really?”
Jane blew out her breath through pursed lips. “Yes, like you wouldn’t believe. Not the shy and retiring types… And flashy sorts—or flashing sorts, for that matter—aren’t really my thing.”
Eva choked on her water. “I don’t blame you.”
Jane stared into the middle distance. “Although…”
Eva frowned. “What?”
Jane flicked her gaze back to meet Eva’s. “Do you remember Dave?”
Eva nodded. “Dave Hopewell, from school?”
Jane smiled. “That’s right. I ended up bumping into him the other day and we got chatting. He said he was going to the reunion.”
Eva thought for a moment. “Oh yeah, that’s right. Damon is friends with Dave and he mentioned that the guys were going.”
“Dave’s single too,” Jane said. “I used to really like him at school and he’s still really cute and funny. Then when I told him I might be going to the reunion, he looked pleased.”
Eva smiled. “That’s great.”
Jane cleared her throat. “The only thing is I’m nervous to go on my own. The friends I’ve kept in touch with from school aren’t going. Do you think you and Rachel and Marcus will come and we can all go together?”
Eva hesitated. “I’m not sure it’s going to be my thing. I think I’m already in touch with all the people I want to be from school.”
Jane appeared flattered, but then stared pleadingly into Eva’s eyes.
Eva sighed. “Oh, okay. But if you get off with Dave, and Rachel and Marcus are snogging in a corner with me playing gooseberry, then I’m off.”
Jane hugged Eva over the table. “It’s going to be so much fun.”
“Yeah right,” said Eva. “As much fun as sticking pins in my eyes.”
Jane smiled. “Oh, come on. You might end up snogging someone in a corner yourself. Someone called Damon, maybe?”
“Ha,” said Eva. “Like he’d be interested. Even if he was, I’d have to fight Tracey McKenna off first.”
Jane shook her head. “No way she has a chance next to you. And I reckon she knows it.” She frowned. “That’s why she was trying to dress you down at drinks the other night.”
Eva shrugged. “Whatever. She’s welcome to have a go at him. He’s still in love with Sarah anyway.”
On Saturday morning, to keep her mind off her temptation to message Damon too soon after their ‘date’, Eva decided to drive to the nearby lake and have a walk. It was a lovely Spring day and she hadn’t been there in ages. She could do with some fresh air and it’d be good to see the place, having enjoyed it so much as a kid. She wondered if Rachel’s girls went there much. It was a nice, gentle walk and there was a play park nearby. She resolved to ask Rachel about it and whether they might take the girls one weekend. She enjoyed seeing children having fun. Having kids was something she and Callum had talked about doing when they got into their thirties, but he’d ended up ‘doing’ Hannah from work instead.
The drive over the hills towards the lake was beautiful. The sun was bright in the sky and the interior of the car quickly became warm. Eva wound down the window and let the wind tousle her hair. She pulled into the car park and watched the sun glint over the lake. It appeared placid and still. Eva was strangely envious. She wished she felt as calm as those waters.
She started off on the walk around the water’s edge, alone with her thoughts. Callum had been trespassing in her mind less and less often nowadays, but today was one of those days that he’d found his way in.
‘I have to work late again tonight, Eva. I’ll be home when I can.’
Work indeed. Eva thought about their relationship and how with hindsight they weren’t right for each other. Yet she’d been utterly convinced of their compatibility at the time. How come? She was supposed to be intelligent. Love definitely is blind. It must’ve been something to do with her disbelief that someone as charismatic as him would be interested in her. He’d flattered her low self-confidence and she’d been suckered in.
Before she knew it, she was most of the way around the small lake and she spotted a familiar bench at the water’s edge. She crossed the path to sit for a moment. There were some ducks on the lake, sending out little ripples across the surface. She watched the small waves gather momentum and move out across the water, thinking back to Callum and the crescendo of the end of their
relationship.
‘It’s okay, hon. We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.’
Tomorrow never came with Callum.
Another voice unexpectedly appeared in her head, a female one that she’d become adept at blocking out.
‘It’ll be all right, won’t it, Eva? We’ve caught it in time?’
The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and nausea washed over her. She was normally good at preventing that memory from surfacing, but for some reason, today her subconscious was vulnerable. She took a deep breath and pushed the voice to the back of her mind.
The sound of a family approaching around the corner became apparent, so she pulled herself together lest a bunch of strangers see her break down in public. She looked up then realised they weren’t strangers. Her heart rose.
“Yes, Adele, we can feed the ducks now. Have you got the seed? Sam, watch your step. It’s muddy there.” Damon glanced over and did a double-take. Then he smiled and waved.
She stood and walked over, giving him a brief peck on the cheek and using all her willpower not to look at his lips, never mind kiss too near them. Even still, the fire burned as she grazed his cheek gently. “Hi.”
She crouched to greet the kids. “Hey, Adele. Hey, Sam. Long time, no see. Remember me? I saw you last year when I stopped by to visit your grandma.”
Adele shook her head. Sam seemed more interested in quacking at the ducks.
“This is my friend Eva,” Damon said. “She’s Auntie Meena’s daughter.”
Adele shrugged.
“That’s okay if you don’t remember,” Eva said. “You know what I remember though? That you like The Go Girls. Who’s your favourite?”
Adele’s eyes widened. “I like Amelia the best. She has the same hair as me.” She lifted her dark hair.
Eva nodded. “You’re right. You have exactly the same hair. I like Amelia too. She’s the best singer.”
Adele nodded. “Mummy’s got us tickets to go and see them. I’m going to dress like Amelia, and Mummy will be Sophia, cause they have the same yellow hair and their names begin with the same letter.”
