by J. L. Beck
“Looks like he got you good,” Luke says around a chuckle, from the side of the ring, leaning against the ropes casually.
I wipe away the blood from my face with my arm and turn to Luke. If it wasn’t for this gym, Roman and him, I’m not sure where I would be. Being able to come here and let all my anger out safely has helped to keep me centered, kept the nightmares at bay. It’s given me an outlet, physically and mentally, and I suppose I’ve gained two new friends out of it as well.
“What’s good, Luke?” Roman asks, tossing a towel over his shoulder. The guy is a beast in the ring. I’m surprised I don’t have more bruises these days. I’m pretty sure he takes it easy on me. There is a kind of restraint in his fighting, and I don’t want to be there when he lets loose.
Twisting the cap off my water, I bring it to my lips and empty the contents into my throat, letting it cool me.
Luke shakes his hair. “Nothing, just some shit with Grace.”
“Trouble in paradise?” Roman asks.
“No, some scumbag at North Woods was fucking with her in class earlier. She’s told him she’s married and not interested numerous times, but he isn’t taking the hint.” I can see the anger rising up in Luke. It’s not like him, at least from what I’ve seen. Usually, he’s cool, the jokester if you will. “I’m going to either end up finding the fucker, or I’ll have to tell Grace she can only do online classes, and you know how well that will go.”
Roman chuckles. “About as good as me telling Sophie she can’t do something.”
I shrug off what they’re saying, their personal lives are none of my business.
Outside of going to the bar a couple of times or working here at the gym, I don’t usually hang out with them.
“Yeah, so I’m going to go over to the campus and see if I can hunt the fucker down.”
Roman’s gaze turns serious. “Don’t kill him, he’s just a college kid, and I don’t want to deal with that shit right now.”
He runs a hand over his buzz cut head. Roman must be joking, though it’s hard to see it as a joke with the serious, I’ll-kill-you-myself look on his face.
“Luke, if this guy is giving your wife a problem, I can help.” I crumple the plastic bottle in my hand and cross the ring.
“In what way is that because my fists can probably do the same thing yours can? Maybe a little better judging by the way your face looks,” Luke taunts.
I grin because I can’t fucking help it. “Shut up, asshole. I know people, people like the dean. He’s my brother. I can talk to him, get the guy suspended, or at the very least talked to. Maybe then he’ll leave her alone?”
Luke’s a big guy and reminds me of someone who could easily be a hitman. He’s got this stealth about him. You never see him coming even though it’s like a mountain is shadowing you.
“That’s probably a better idea,” Roman interjects. “Look at you, saving the day, Lex.” He slaps a hand on my shoulder and gives it a firm squeeze.
“I’m no savior, just trying to help a brother out. You guys have done a lot for me, and asking my brother for a favor is no problem at all.”
“When do you want to do this?” Luke asks, just as Roman’s cell phone starts to ring. He gives us a chin nod and walks away to answer it.
“I don’t know, tonight? He’s usually there until five or six.” I start to stretch my muscles from the beating I took from Roman.
“Perfect. I’ll meet you in the parking lot at five then, and we can go see him together.”
“Great, I’ll meet you there.”
“Next time, you can fight me. I’ll take it easy on you.” He makes punches in the air in front of me.
“Take it easy on me?” I cock a brow. “You both remember I was in the Marines, right?”
Luke chuckles. “Marines ain’t got nothing on what I’ve done.”
“Sure. I’ll see you later.” I shake my head, hopping out of the ring and grabbing my bag.
The way he talks, makes me wonder what kind of stuff he’s been through? Shaking the nonsense away, thoughts of Jude return, and I don’t want to think about her either. I don’t want to think about shit right now.
Walking out to my truck, I try and shut down mentally. Thinking about her won’t bring her back to me, it won’t answer the questions as to why she left before I could say goodbye.
“So how come your brother is the Dean of a university, and you work at a gym?” Luke asks as we’re walking across campus.
I raise my eyebrow at his question. “Did you just call me stupid?”
Luke tips his head back and lets out a loud laugh. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just wondering why your jobs are so different. Most brothers I know get into the same kind of work. Roman works with his brother, Ivan, all the time.”
I shrug. “Sebastian and I just never really had the same interests. He was good in school. I hated it. There was no way I was going to suffer through four more years of school after I graduated, so the only other good choice seemed to be the military.”
“Yeah, I get it. College isn’t my thing either...” Luke trails off, and I realize I have no idea what does he do for work. I know he drives a nice car and works out at the gym, and I know Roman is married to his sister, but beyond that, I don’t know much about the guy at all.
“What do you do for work?”
“I do some odd jobs here and there,” he answers vaguely before changing the subject. “Are you sure your brother is here? Looks pretty dark inside.”
I look at the entrance to the administration building, and indeed, find it completely dark.
“Well, shit, he must have left early today. Sorry, man. I can talk to him tomorrow.” I shove my hands into my pockets.
“No big deal. Don’t worry about it.”
We turn around and start heading back to the parking lot. I’m just about to ask him more about his work when we hear someone yelling behind us.
“Come on, sweets, don’t be shy. I know you want it...”
Following the voice, we both spin around and spot a guy approaching a girl. A girl whose body language clearly says, go away, I don’t like you. It only takes half a second from things to go from normal to horrible.
“That’s the fucker right there,” Luke growls, fists clenched at his sides.
“What? Are you sure?”
“Grace showed me a picture of the fucker, that’s him. I’m sure.”
Before I get another word out, Luke is sprinting over to the guy. I follow behind because I’m not going to let Luke do something stupid. The guy is so occupied with harassing the chick, he doesn’t see Luke coming until it’s too late.
Luke flies in like a bat out of hell, pulling his arm back and hitting the guy square in the jaw. The girl, who is still a good twenty feet away, lets out a loud shriek before turning and running away. Great.
“You fucking asshole!” The guy stumbles backward. “What’s your fucking problem?”
“You are,” Luke spits, his face taking on a look of rage like I’ve never seen. “Grace is my wife, and I know she told you to leave her the fuck alone. You have a problem with your ears? Or you just stupid?”
The idiot laughs while clearly looking danger right in the face.
“Maybe I just wanted to show Gracie how a real man does it.”
What a fucking idiot. Does he have a death wish?
Luke’s eyes go wide–like he can’t believe the fucker just said what he did. It only takes him a second to recover. Then he is on him again, taking another swing. The guy tries to defend himself, swinging his own fists, but I’ve boxed with Luke, and he doesn’t have a chance in hell.
Something tells me that this is going to get out of control if I don’t stop it. Luke’s eyes are crazed, and I actually think he might kill him if I don’t do something.
“Luke, come on.” I get in between them. Luke takes a step back and raises his hands, which are already bloodied. I look down at the guy and realize his lip is busted, blood drips down h
is chin.
“Fucking pussy! Who the fuck are you?” he yells at me. What an idiot. Shaking my head, I’m about to walk away when the asshole scoffs at my dog tags and says, “What are you? Some hero? Did you join the Army because you were to dumb for college?”
Army?
My fist slams into the side of his head before my brain makes the decision to hit him. The guy stumbles back, tripping over his own two feet and falling backward and into the grass. I take a step back, ready to get out of here, but Luke pounces on him again.
Shit, this is getting out of hand.
“Come on, man, you’re going to kill him.” I tug Luke backward and off the kid, staring down at him, he looks like he’s barely breathing. “What the fuck, Luke?” I growl low, looking over my shoulder, one way and then the other.
The air in my lungs stills when I spot Jude a hundred feet away, a look of pure terror in her beautiful blues. I should feel bad about punching this kid and be less focused on Jude, but all I can see in this moment is her face.
“You take care of the girl, and I’ll take care of him.” Luke grimaces, pointing at the guy lying in the grass. My eyes are still locked on Jude, and I know I have to go to her. How much did she see? God, I can’t imagine what she’s thinking right now.
Turning, she starts to walk away, and my body snaps back to reality. She’s not getting away this time.
2
Jude
Frozen in place, I stare straight ahead. The sound of skin hitting skin fills my ears. Two men beating another man less than a hundred feet away from me. They wrestle across the ground and into the grass. I should stop them, get help, do something, but my feet refuse to move, invisible vines of fear wrapped around each one. My lips part, and I’m not sure what I’m going to say: stop, or go away or I’m calling the police?
“Come on, man, you’re going to kill him.” That voice, that thick manly voice. Every thought and fear, every inch of my body clamps up at that voice. I’ve dreamt about it for weeks, seen his face in my mind, and hoped and prayed maybe our paths would cross again, but never did I expect our reunion to be like this.
Tugging his friend off the beaten man, Lex straightens, whispering something into his friend’s ear. Then as if he can sense my eyes on him, he looks over his shoulder one way and then the other way before his gaze collides with mine.
Even from a distance, I can see recognition take hold. Oh god. Fear slithers up my spine, sinking its claws deep into my skin. What happened to the kind man I met? The one that promised to protect me? Shivering, I take a step back. Lex’s friend notices me then, and I feel myself starting to hyperventilate. I’m back there, my father’s belt landing against my skin like a branding iron.
Shaking the memory away, I make it all of two steps before Lex is heading for me. I’m confused, my thoughts on everything I knew about him tainted by what I’d just seen. Was it all a lie? Lex’s footsteps eat up the distance between us, and before I can turn to run, he’s on me.
Numerous emotions seem to flicker across his face before he settles on something that looks like relief.
“Jude!” he says my name like it’s a prayer. “What are you doing here?”
“I…” What am I going to say?
Did I just witness something I shouldn’t have? Is he going to hurt me now? I don’t know if I should run or scream, but I guess what I want doesn’t matter because Lex grabs onto my hand and starts pulling me in the opposite direction of where I want to go.
Attempting to tug my hand from his grasp does me no good, and causes him to tighten his hold. Digging my feet into the concrete, I try again, but it’s like trying to move a mountain. Hopelessly, I let him drag me wherever he wants, deciding that as soon as he releases me, I’ll run.
My eyes drop down to his hand, the one holding mine, and I see blood there. I feel dizzy, lost. This can’t possibly be the same man that made love to me, that saved me from a future of abuse and pain. It can’t be. That man was kind and never would’ve laid a hand on anyone.
Caught in my thoughts, I don’t realize we’ve reached his truck until I hear it unlocking. Walking to the passenger side door, Lex opens it and releases my hand. Now’s my chance to escape, to run. And that would be easy to do if Lex didn’t lift his hand and gently cup my cheek at that exact instant.
His green eyes bleed into mine. “I’m not going to hurt you, Jude. You don’t have anything to be worried about. The softness of his voice calls to me, but one look at his bloody knuckles, and I’m reminded of what he did.
“Did you… kill him?” The words are hard to get past my trembling lips.
Something like regret flickers in his eyes, and I barely catch it as he looks away. “It was a mistake. Look, come with me for a bit.”
Shaking my head, I part my lips to say no, but Lex doesn’t listen, and his hands are on my hips, lifting me into the seat of his truck. The door closes, trapping me inside, and it’s like the walls are closing in on me. He said he’s not going to hurt me, but he was hurting that man. There is blood on his hands.
“You’re shaking,” Lex states the obvious as he slides into his seat and starts the truck. The blood in my veins moves like sludge in a pipe. “It’s okay, Jude. It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. That’s not me. What you saw.”
His hand reaches for me, but I cringe away. “No. Please, don’t,” I whimper, leaning against the door and as far away from him as I can get.
Anger floods his face, and he pulls his hand back, strangling the steering wheel with his grip. I try and gather my thoughts as he drives us to his apartment. I can walk back to campus when we get there. I walk everywhere as it is. It’s not a big deal. All that matters is I put some distance between us. I thought when I gave myself to him, he was someone special.
Now I feel duped.
Remaining against the door, I do my best to get my erratic breathing and fear under control. He hasn’t hurt you yet. When we pull up to his house, I’m brought back to that night six weeks ago.
How kind he was.
How he offered me food and shelter.
How he held me after taking my virginity.
It seems like a lifetime ago now.
The sound of the car door opening and closing draws me back to the present, and I grab the door handle and shove it open. I have to get away. I jump from the truck, my feet landing harshly against the grass.
“What the hell are you doing?” he growls, and I shove against his chest as I come to stand. I’m frantic, looking for any exit I can find. He’s not going to hurt me or keep me captive. I refuse to be a victim ever again.
Shock overtakes his features, but as soon as he takes a step back, I dart around him and start running. My shoes slap against the sidewalk as I run, my lungs burning, my heart racing. Don’t look back, keep running.
Like a storm, Lex barrels down the sidewalk after me. Pumping my legs faster, I clench my fist, ready to punch him if he touches me. I make it to the edge of the sidewalk before one of his thick tree trunk arms circles my waist. Tugging me to his chest, he uses his other arm to trap me against him and lifts me in a bear hug, walking back toward his house.
“Let me go. I won’t be a victim. I won’t let you hurt me.” I start to cry, feeling the treacherous tears on my cheeks.
Lex easily unlocks the front door and carries me into the house, his breath not even labored with the effort. Then as fast as he grabbed me, he releases me. Landing on my feet, I wince at the impact as it vibrates through my legs.
Swallowing down my fear, I take a chance, looking up at him. His brows are drawn together, his handsome face filled with annoyance, that sharp jaw of his clenched tight. I’m tempted to touch it, but make a fist, digging my nails into the palm of my hand. Touching him will only encourage him to touch me, and that’s the last thing I want.
Preparing for him to start giving me every excuse under the sun, I’m shocked when he starts speaking.
Placing his hands on his hips, he looks down at me. �
��Why did you leave? I thought we had a good time, and then you just disappeared.”
“What?” I croak, completely taken back. I just saw him beating a man, and now he wants to talk about what we did, the night we shared, and how I left. Shaking my head, I will him and his question away.
“You heard me, Jude. Why did you leave? Where did you go?”
“N-no… I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to do this.” Wrapping my arms around myself, I sink down onto the sofa and bring my knees to my chest.
It was all a lie. Lex is just as bad as my father. He’s violent and mean. A fraud. He made me believe in some falsehood, made me believe he was a good person, but like all the others in my life, he’s evil on the inside and nice on the out.
Sinking down onto the couch beside me, he watches me with worry. “You remember my promise? How I told you I would keep you safe?”
I remember it well, and I reminded myself of it every single day. It’s what kept me going, it’s the reason I didn’t completely turn in on myself when my father beat me until I was nothing but a shell of myself after I returned home.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Jude. I’m not going to do anything. What you saw… it was a misunderstanding. It was…”
“I don’t care what it was. I don’t want to know. I just–I want you to let me go. You’re just like him. You pretend to be good, but you’re bad on the inside. You hurt people, and you’ll hurt me.”
“Bad? Hurt you? What the hell, Jude.” He seems shocked, like I’m accusing him of murder.
“There is blood on your hands. You’re violent, evil, and I don’t…” my voice cracks, and I don’t want him to know how heartbroken I am to discover he’s a fraud.
“You don’t what?” Lex asks through gritted teeth, his anger rising, his fist clenched tightly at his side. It’s only a matter of time before he raises a hand to me. I should be grateful it’s not a belt, or something else.
I bite the inside of my cheek, wondering if I should finish my sentence.
You’re stronger than this. Reminding myself that I can do this, I push through the fear pressing against me.
