“This is all my fault. I’ll leave. Oh, poor Rumble did he suffer? I couldn’t bear it if he suffered because of me.” Her shoulders drooped and her hands started to shake.
“It’s not your fault. You can’t put this on yourself. Andy was after Rumble from the very beginning.” He stepped away from Cooper and Belle and slowly walked toward Anora. He opened his arms, and when she stepped into them, it made his hurt a little less. She’d endured much more in her life. He rubbed his hands up and down her back pulling her tight against him. “There’s nothing we can do about it today. Besides I heard there is a great meal to be had.” Stepping back, he lifted her chin with his finger until he could look into her eyes. “Really it’s not your fault. I don’t want to hear about you leaving anymore today.”
Her smile didn’t reach her eyes as she nodded and turned around. She walked back to the kitchen.
“She’ll be just fine,” Belle said. “Let’s just try to have a good Christmas.”
Cooper smiled. “Worth a try. Is it too early for a shot of whiskey? I could really use one.”
“I hear you.” Maverick nodded. “I guess we should wait until after breakfast, though.”
Breakfast was awkward. Everyone tried to act cheery, but he was worried about Anora. Her face was pasty white, and the ends of her mouth were turned down. He’d wanted to make it a good Christmas for her, but Andy had still been able to get to her and ruin it.
“I hope we get snow,” she said.
Bite your tongue,” Maverick told her.
“I want to be able to stand outside while the snow falls. My parents acted as though I was sickly and didn’t want me to leave the house all winter.”
“We’ll get a bit. When? I just don’t know but when it does you are welcome to it. Right, Cooper?”
“She’s welcome to help feed the horses when it snows. It’s a big pain in the rear end.”
Maverick smiled at Cooper’s politeness. “No one likes a pain in the rear that’s for sure.”
“I know it’s not snowing but, Anora would you like to take a walk with me?”
She hesitated and then nodded. “I’d like that.”
“Don’t you two worry. I got kitchen duty today and Cooper can help me.” Everyone glanced at Cooper for his reaction to Belle’s announcement.
“Sure, sounds like something I’d enjoy.” His eyes twinkled as he shook his head.
“Come on, Anora. Let’s get out while the going is good.”
Belle laughed. “You mean before Cooper hurts himself.”
Maverick stood and pulled Anora’s chair out for her. “See you two in a while.”
“Where are we going? Anora asked when they stepped outside.
“In the opposite direction of the barn. The vet is sending out a team to remove Rumble, and I just can’t be there. I wanted this day to be perfect for you, and now it’s ruined. I don’t feel like pretending to smile for Belle’s sake. I know you understand.”
“I do. I’m so sorry about Rumble, and I wish there were something I could do. I know it’s not on me, but I feel like it’s my fault. I have a feeling no matter where I go, Andy will try to find me. I know Rumble was a valuable horse. Will it be bad for your ranch?”
“It’s a setback for sure, but we’ll get through. I must admit I had high hopes for the offspring of that horse. He’s heavily insured, but it’s not much consolation. But I always try to land on my feet. I just want to know who did it and how they got on the property.” They walked for a while through a big pasture.
“Then why aren’t you looking at the recordings from your security system?”
“I didn’t think it fitting, it being a holiday and all.”
“Maverick, let’s get back and start looking. I don’t think any of us feel very cheery anyway.”
Maverick smiled and leaned down. He kissed her cheek and took her hand. “You’re right. I won’t be able to rest until we find out who did it.”
They quickly walked back, went inside and headed for the den. Cooper was already at the computer. “I figured you wouldn’t be gone long. Belle is bringing in some coffee. We figured we might as well look for the culprit. I can only pretend merriness for so long.”
“Us too.” Maverick pulled two chairs next to Cooper and gestured for her to sit in the middle one. “How far did you get?”
“Just started. I promised Belle I’d wait until she made a new pot of coffee.”
“And the wait ends,” Belle said as she put a tray laden with coffee and cups onto the desk. “Hope you saved me a seat.”
Anora couldn’t help but laugh at Belle’s raised eyebrows.
“I’ll set it up so we can see it on the big screen,” Cooper offered.
“Great idea!” Belle gave him a sweet smile. It warmed Anora to see her friend and Cooper interact. Just like a healthy relationship was supposed to be.
They all got up and sat in the leather chairs angled toward the big screen television. Her body warmed when Maverick took the seat next to hers. Her emotions were all over the place. Guilt, shame, attraction, and despite what happened to Rumble, she still felt safe. But it was just for today. Tomorrow she’d be back at her place. She couldn’t bring more danger to her friends. It wasn’t fair. Not fair at all.
“Okay everyone keep your eyes peeled.” Maverick sat with his elbows on his knees, leaning forward. They watched for a long while and then it happened. Dinner time was when the culprit snuck into the barn, but he didn’t stay long before he left.
“Do you think he came back later? If he put the poison in the feed, Rumble would have been sick last night,” Cooper commented, shaking his head.
“Let’s keep watching,” Belle said.
It took forever and it became boring, but they had to know. Finally, as most of the daylight was done, they saw the man again. This time, he had a backpack.
“How’d he know what feed to put it in?” Anora frowned.
“I have different bins for different horses. They each get different supplements depending on their needs. The bins are all labeled.” Maverick jumped up. “Let’s go get that bin before it disappears.”
She stayed behind, telling them she was tired. Truthfully, she wanted to be alone. Maverick and Belle and been nothing but kind to her and all she brought them was trouble. Christmas was ruined and there was no way to salvage it. There’d been enough fake cheerfulness for one day. She didn’t belong here anymore than she belonged with her parents. She wasn’t ready for friends. It was too hard. All she seemed to do was disappoint people and she couldn’t take it. Not again. She couldn’t run away like a coward, the whole mess was her fault.
She quietly put the presents she’d brought for Maverick and Belle under the tree and stared at the twinkling lights and beautiful ornaments. It was the type of tree one would see in a magazine. It hurt to know she dimmed the holiday for everyone. Slowly she turned and walked up the stairs, into her room and sat in the chair next to the big window facing the front of the house.
Her heart squeezed painfully as she gazed outside. Maverick played it off but losing Rumble was a bigger deal than he made it out to be. She should have stayed with her parents. She shook her head. There was no way she could have stayed any longer. What she should have done was sold her house and relocated to a new town where no one knew her. Her selfishness caused Rumble’s death. She just had to have Maverick’s arms around her one more time. Well, she got what she came for. Tears poured down her face. She hadn’t planned on the heartache of leaving him.
They had told her in therapy not to be surprised if she avoided relationships or any type of physical contact. She’d taken it to heart. She never wanted a man to touch her again, until now, until Maverick. Sure, she felt safe, but she also loved him. Funny he was such a big, powerfully built man, but he didn’t scare her in the least. She didn’t prepare herself for this much hurt.
They left the barn, bin in hand and headed back to the house. She closed her eyes, praying they didn’t come look
ing for her. She just hoped they liked her presents. A beautiful scarf for Belle and riding gloves for Maverick. She heard voices, but they faded as they went into the library.
She got up and slipped into the bed. If she were sleeping, she wouldn’t feel the pain.
Maverick hesitated before he lightly knocked on Anora’s door. Hearing nothing, he peered in. She lay on the bed, her back to him, and he had the distinct feeling she wasn’t asleep. He whispered her name, but she didn’t answer.
Chapter Seven
Maverick stared out the kitchen window. He’d just said goodbye to Belle, and it always tore a piece of his heart out every time she left. She wore the new scarf Anora had left under the tree for her. It had been a busy morning. He talked with the sheriff and showed him the footage. The sheriff knew who it was and left to go pick him up. It was a man named Timmy Roberts. According to the sheriff, he was a drinking buddy of Andy’s. Figured.
Glancing at his watch, he shook his head. He couldn’t wait all day for Anora to wake up. He grabbed the new gloves she gave him and went to the front hall. Grabbing his coat and hat he left. She’d be up when he got back. Maybe she had more nightmares last night. Shrugging he went out into the cold. He’d been more than a little disappointed she’d gone to her room early yesterday. She didn’t even get to celebrate with them. She’d find plenty of leftovers in the fridge.
He and Cooper would be busy looking up bloodlines of horses. He wouldn’t find one as great as Rumble, but he needed to start searching. He had a ranch to keep building. Walking into the barn he smiled. He’d certainly come a long way from the red, rotted, wooden structure they used to call a barn. He put every penny he had into a stud with impressive bloodlines. It was a huge gamble. There was never a guarantee what type of offspring the stud would throw. He’d been lucky and his risk paid off.
Now he could afford better horses and… He sighed. Rumble was more than an investment to him. They’d bonded and he loved Rumble. He didn’t protect his friend and it hurt. What if he failed to protect Anora? He’d concluded last night that her happiness mattered to him. It mattered too much, but there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. He was hooked. Unfortunately, she didn’t want a man in her life. It was a bit hard to swallow.
He wanted to be able to take her into his arms and kiss her. He wanted to smile into her eyes and know she felt the same way. She wasn’t whole, he understood, but he couldn’t help but dream things could be different.
“Morning, Maverick!” Cooper called out. “I’ve been researching, and I think we have more than a few possible horses to choose from.” Cooper frowned. “I always feel a bit down whenever Belle leaves too.”
He nodded. His mind hadn’t been on Belle, but Cooper didn’t need to know it. “She’ll be back.”
“I have coffee at my house and the list of horses if you’d like to join me.”
Maverick nodded, and off they went.
It was childish and cowardly, but she had to leave. Her body was on overload. Her emotions were a mess, and she didn’t want Maverick to see her so unsure of herself. Now she sat on the front porch, bag in hand, waiting for Cindy to come get her. Cindy was a good friend. She didn’t ask any questions she just said she was on her way. Saying thank you and goodbye was the right thing to do. Her hands shook just thinking about it. Maverick had become too important to her and she needed independence. She’d promised herself she’d never love a man, and she’d broken her promise.
She took a deep breath hoping Cindy arrived before Maverick came home. She prayed it was an out of sight out of mind type of thing. She’d live in her house for a bit and then decide what to do. Hopefully, the sheriff had picked up Timmy by now. She’d recognized him on the video. He’d been a mean sadistic man who laughed when Andy hit her. Somehow it hadn’t occurred to her any of Andy’s friends would stand by him after they learned he kidnapped her.
The sheriff had left over an hour ago. She watched from the window in her room. She watched Belle leave too with a giant lump in her throat. Why couldn’t she be more like Belle? She was brave and carefree. She had her whole life ahead of her and probably a wonderful future with Cooper. Anora felt so old in comparison.
She stood as Cindy’s truck approached and hurried into the passenger side. It wasn’t until they were on the road driving away from Maverick that she finally took a deep breath.
“You have misery written on your face, Anora. What in the world happened?” Cindy asked.
“I fell in love with Maverick.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“For me it is. I have too much baggage to ever be in a healthy relationship. I’m not normal anymore.”
“Oh, honey, I like you just the way you are. You have such inner strength and I admire you. You’ve been through hell, and yet you are still a sweet person. If Maverick doesn’t return your feelings, it’s his loss. There will be someone for you one day. Don’t you worry.” She reached out and patted Anora’s hand.
Anora nodded, trying not to cry. “It’s just so hard. I’ll be fine.”
“Of course, you will.” Cindy stopped the truck in front of Anora’s house. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay with me?”
“Thanks for asking but I think I need to be alone.” She leaned over and hugged Cindy and got out of the truck. She hadn’t been much for initiating hugs. It felt nice.
The house was incredibly quiet and after all her longing to be alone, it was a bit unsettling. She spent the next few days unpacking, doing laundry, scrubbing the kitchen and watching television. She patrolled the house checking windows and doors until she called herself crazy. Finally, she stood looking out her front window, watching the snow fall. Be careful what you wish for.
The phone rang, startling her and she nervously answered it. It was the sheriff assuring her they had Timmie Roberts in custody, and she was not to worry. She thanked him and chastised herself for hoping it was Maverick on the other end of the line.
Her heart dropped as she realized just how inept she really was. What did she know about men and relationships? Did she even know what love was? Maybe she was mistaking feeling safe with love. How did one know? In the end, it didn’t matter. Maverick had no real interest in her, he was just being nice. He lost his best horse because of her. She might as well admit he wouldn’t be contacting her again.
Grabbing a pad of paper and a pen, she sat at the cheap kitchen table intent on making a list of what she should do. A kind of map for her life. A job was a must, but would anyone hire her? She never had a job before, and she didn’t have many skills. She managed to get her GED this past year. Would that be enough to get her foot in the door? She wrote down want ads. Maybe she should get a dog for company. Dog was added to the list. Maybe it should be a wish list instead? She only had two things listed on her life list.
This wasn’t helping. She stood up, wadded up the paper and threw it across the room. The empty, quiet, lonely room. Finally, she grabbed her coat and went for a walk. Her body tensed as she walked past the first person. She expected a stare or a frown, but the person smiled instead. The next gentleman tipped his hat at her. People were being nice to her? She wasn’t some odd news story to them? Her brow furrowed as she tried to puzzle it out.
Ending up at the diner didn’t surprise her. It was beautifully decorated, and it exuded a happy vibe. She opened the door hearing the jingle of the bell above the door and waited. When she wasn’t whispered about, she sighed in relief and found a seat at the counter. Cindy smiled and poured her a cup of coffee.
“Glad to see you out and about.”
“It was too quiet at my house.”
“That happens. I’m glad my Peter was able to come home for the holidays. It made for a nice Christmas. How was yours?” Cindy leaned her hip against the counter.
“I suppose you heard about Rumble. It’s my fault, Cindy. I never meant to bring trouble to Maverick or Belle. I have a feeling Andy will always find some way to let me know he’s still alive. He�
��ll never set me free.”
“Awe, sugar, you are free. He has a long reach right now, and I’m as sorry as can be but it’s not your fault. Maverick and Belle know that. They care for you.”
She gave her a half smile. “That’s nice of you to say. I just don’t know anymore. I can’t trust my instincts, and I can’t stand for people to get close to me.”
“Even Belle? How about Maverick? I’ve hugged you a time or two.”
A warmth flowed through her. “You’re right. I guess I hadn’t noticed. I mean I realized Maverick hugged me.” Her face grew uncomfortably warm.
“See, your instincts are right. Maverick is one of the best men I know. He’s good people.”
“I ran out on him. The guilt of Rumble’s death sent me reeling. I just couldn’t face him. He took me in, treated me as part of the family and trouble followed me.”
“I doubt he sees it that way. I bet he doesn’t blame you at all. You are the sweetest young woman I know.” Her eyes widened and she smiled when she looked over Anora’s head. “Speak of the devil.”
Her heart sped up and her body went rigid. Dare she turn around? What would she say? Taking a deep breath, she turned around expecting to see a look of unpleasantness on his face. Instead, his gaze met hers and the look of concern he gave her bewildered her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked in a whisper.
“I came to see you, Anora. I wanted to be sure you were okay. You left without so much as a goodbye. I understand why but, darlin’, this is in no way your fault. Don’t take it to heart. There are crazy mean people in the world and, unfortunately, you got in the middle of one of the meanest I’ve ever met. I don’t blame you one bit. You are as much a victim as Rumble, and I’ll be darned if I let Andy get anywhere near you.”
She stood and turned to toward Maverick and found herself in the circle of his arms. She wanted him and the feeling stunned her. He was handsome, very handsome but…
Love Before Midnight Page 8
