by Meghan Quinn
Quinn looked up at Landon and then at Cruz. “I like to think so,” she smiled.
Taking in her appearance, Cruz nodded in approval at her weight gain; she was looking damn fine.
“You’re looking good, Quinn,” Cruz admitted, while looking directly at her plump breasts.
Landon flicked Cruz’s forehead and said, “Eyes up, Cruz, or I’m going to have to beat the crap out of you.”
Cruz patted Landon’s cheek and said, “It’s cute that you still think you can take me. Keep wishing, Landon.” Cruz held his hand out, gesturing inside his house for his guests to come in.
They followed his direction and each took a seat in his living room, where his game was on pause.
“Sex life that bad that you have to busy yourself with video games?” Landon asked.
“I know you like to try to make yourself look better by knocking my sex life, but for your information, I fucked Willow twice today.”
Both Landon and Quinn’s eyes opened in shock at Cruz’s uncensored response.
“Seriously? That’s still going on?” Landon asked, a bit shocked, which grated on Cruz’s nerves.
Of course it was still going on, because Cruz and Willow were a good thing. And when a good thing worked, you didn’t mess with it. Cruz was actually to the point where he was considering asking Willow to be exclusive, something he’d never considered before. He was toying with the idea, not quite sure if he wanted to make the solid commitment or not. Right now, she was as good as it was going to get. There were other girls in his life that he could easily slam against a door and fuck, but they weren’t as tempting.
Thinking about it, he knew he was a couple of overnight stays from being a pussy-whipped mother fucker.
“Why are you so surprised?” Cruz asked, while turning off his TV.
“You two just aren’t relationship type people.”
“Did I say anything about a relationship?” Cruz replied casually, even though he was thinking that starting a relationship with the blonde and pink haired phenom might be something to really consider.
Quinn patted Landon’s leg and said, “He didn’t; he just said fucking.”
Landon laughed and said, “I guess he did.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on Quinn’s head, it was rather sickening.
“Alright, enough with the PDA, let’s get down to business. Grammys are a week away, we are expected to show, so how the hell are we going to make that happen with our lead singer gone AWOL and our bassist not speaking to his own damn brother?”
Guilt flashed through Quinn’s eyes as she thought about what Cruz asked. He knew it wasn’t all Quinn’s fault. Quinn and Grey’s break up had a lot to do with the both of them, and a little bit to do with Willow and her gorgeous tits. But what it really came down to was that Grey and Quinn just outgrew each other; it was obvious.
“And I don’t mean that to hurt your feelings,” Cruz added, while speaking directly to Quinn.
“I appreciate that, Cruz, but it is partially my fault. I was seeking comfort that night and I went to Landon. It was one of the best decisions of my life because little did I know that I was harboring feelings for this perfect man,” she looked up at him with adoration, making Cruz want to dry heave. She continued somberly, “but, I should have handled everything differently. I should have given our break-up some time. It wasn’t fair to Grey.”
Cruz nodded and then smiled, “Yeah, but instead you went and slutted it up; good job, Quinn.” Cruz knew that his conniving smile would stop the crunch of his facial bones under Landon’s fist at his comment, which it did because Cruz tailed his comment with a laugh.
“Thanks,” Quinn joked. “Really appreciate the love, Cruz.”
Glancing a peek over at Landon, Cruz could see him visibly relax, sensing Quinn’s easygoing attitude, but Cruz wasn’t an idiot; he knew Landon was about to jump him and defend his lady’s honor. He was more pussy-whipped than Cruz had thought, but then again, they were in loooooove. Something Cruz really knew nothing about.
“Anytime, babe. So what do you think we should do?”
Quinn thought about it for a second and said, “Honestly, I don’t think Rook has gone far; I think he’s still alive, but he’s hiding out. The man is ashamed, upset, lost; I don’t think he would sacrifice himself if there is even the slightest chance that Maisy might come back to him. Maisy was his high, and no matter what happens, he will always chase that high. I think you need to look some more. As for Grey, he’s not going to listen to Landon right now. I think he needs some Cruz tough love.”
Cruz nodded his head and smiled. “I love handing out tough love; it’s one of my favorite things.”
“Yes, we know,” Landon added, sarcastically. “Do you want me to go look for Rook in his old neighborhood, maybe ask some of his old neighbors if they’ve seen him? I honestly wouldn’t know where else he would go. I talked to Pete and he said Rook hasn’t used his credit cards in months.”
“How would Pete know that?” Cruz asked.
“After the first almost overdose with Rook, when we started our first tour, Pete was signed on as a partial conservator for Rook, to keep him in check and accountable. I asked Pete to check Rook’s bank information and nothing is gone. He hasn’t touched it since the tour. His bike is still parked at the label’s house, meaning he didn’t drive off anywhere.”
“See,” Quinn chimed in. “He has to be somewhere close; we’re just not looking hard enough.”
“What are we supposed to do? Knock on every drug addict’s door and ask if they’ve seen Rook? That seems like a terrible idea,” Cruz said.
“Don’t worry about Rook. I’ll take care of him. You take care of Grey.”
Eying Landon suspiciously, Cruz said, “Why does it seem like I’m doing your dirty work for you?”
“Because you are,” Landon laughed, while looking around. “Damn, you’re an awful host. Is there something to drink around here? I mean, your place is great and all, but a little refreshment would be nice.”
Cruz leaned back and said, “The fridge is not going to walk to you, bud. Might as well get up and get us all drinks.”
“You’re an ass,” Landon said, as he shook his head and got up off the couch.
“Works every time,” Cruz joked to Quinn, as he crossed his hands and placed them behind his head.
Trying to get Grey to talk to him was going to be a challenge, but he was pretty sure he could manage it. If Grey didn’t want to talk, then Cruz would just use his best tactic, being annoying. There was only so much one could take, and with the knowledge that Mama Cross was on board any plan that would get her sons back together, Cruz was confident in his future efforts.
**Grey**
Why Grey continued to read Landon’s diary over and over again was beyond him, besides the fact that he found it completely fascinating that his brother could write such prolific things about a girl he was never actually with.
The passion and need in Landon’s writing was almost heartbreaking to Grey, to know that his brother had such strong feelings for a girl that was in Grey’s life was almost too much to handle, especially since all Grey wanted to do was hate his brother.
“Honey, someone is here to see you,” Grey’s mom called up the stairs.
Who the hell was coming to visit him? If it was Landon, Grey was about to pull the most asinine and childlike hissy fit anyone had ever seen. Reluctantly, Grey got off his bed and headed downstairs, just hoping that it was anyone but Landon.
When he hit the bottom of the stairs, he swore to himself when he saw the snarky grin of Cruz Romero staring back at him. Scratch that, he would probably rather speak to Landon, because he knew by the look on Cruz’s face that he was about to give Grey one hell of a time.
“Hey, baby cakes, I’ve missed you,” he said with that stupid grin.
“What do you want?” Grey practically hissed, while he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Grey, don’t you talk to our guest like that,”
his mom chastised him.
“Yeah, I’m a guest,” Cruz said, as he nuzzled up next to Cruz’s mom, who patted him on the shoulder.
“Would you like some lemonade, sweetie?” she asked Cruz.
“Gosh, lemonade would be delightful, Mrs. Cross. Thank you.”
“Of course,” she patted his cheek and said, “Have a seat. I’ll be right back.”
“Mind if we sit outside?” Cruz asked. “I just can’t get enough of that view of the valley.”
“By all means. I’ll be sure to bring out some homemade cookies too.”
“You are just the perfect host, Mrs. Cross,” Cruz said, making her blush as he walked out the sliding glass door with Grey.
Once they sat down, Grey asked, “Are you done kissing my mom’s ass?”
“Kissing her ass?” Cruz asked in confusion. “I don’t remember my lips on that perfectly round butt, but I can arrange it if you would like.”
“Seriously, lay the fuck off,” Grey huffed out, as he leaned back in his chair. “Just say what you need to say and get out of here. I’m really not in the mood to deal with you right now.”
“You know, that really hurts my feelings, Grey. I made the drive all the way out here; the least you can do is give my dick a tap hello.”
Grey flipped him off just as his mom walked outside with a trey of lemonade and cookies.
“Grey, I will not have you flipping our guest off; you apologize to Cruz right now.”
Good fuck, his mom was really starting to irritate him.
“Sorry,” he mumbled under his breath, about to take a cookie, but his mom swatted his hand and shook her finger at him.
“Say it louder, Grey.”
Using all the energy in his body not to roll his eyes, Grey cleared his throat and said, “Sorry for flipping you off, Cruz.”
The shit eating grin on Cruz’s face was going to be Grey’s undoing. His patience was wearing very thin, and at the rate he was going, if he didn’t pull things together, he was going to be apologizing to Cruz for days after his foot met Cruz’s ass and his mom was an eyewitness to it.
“So much better. Okay, you boys play nice. You let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Cross.”
She waved her hand in the air, as if saying it was nothing, and then said, “Anything for my boys.” Then she took off and left them their privacy.
Forgetting any type of manners, Cruz leaned over the tray, grabbed a cookie and shoved it down his throat. Grey watched as the man barely chewed, swallowed, and then reached for another.
“Your mom makes the best cookies,” Cruz said, while crumbs flew out of his mouth.
“You’re a fucking pig,” Grey said, as he brushed crumbs off of his shirt.
“Hey, will you bend over for a second. There’s a stick up your ass that I want to beat you over the head with.”
Growing more and more irritated by the minute, Grey said, “Just tell me why you’re here.”
“Why else would I be here? You need to come back to the band and stop hiding out like a little twat nugget.”
“I’m not a twat nugget,” Grey defended, sounding like an idiot.
“Yes, you are. Okay, your brother stole your girl, boo fucking hoo. Write a song about it and move on. Pull a Taylor Swift on her and make us some millions. If anything, you should really be thanking Quinn and Landon, because they just gave you ammunition for a chart topper.”
Surprisingly, Cruz was right. Ever since Grey got off the bus, his writing had been non-stop and he wasn’t much of a writer to begin with. But all the emotions he was feeling from Quinn and Landon, and then the whole Willow situation, had him hiding away in his room and writing every damn emotion he was feeling.
“It’s not that easy, I just can’t go back to how things used to be.”
“I’m not asking you to go back to how things used to be. They’ll never be like that, but you can at least come back and give Landon the cold shoulder in the studio. The guy needs to feel uncomfortable.”
“Because that’s really mature.”
“More mature than hanging out with mommy dearest and getting fat on her cookies.”
“I’m not getting fat,” Grey said, as he sat up straighter, making Cruz laugh.
“Fuck, this is more fun than I thought it was going to be.”
“Sometimes, I really just want to jam my foot in your mouth,” Grey said, as he took a gulp of his lemonade.
“Nah, you don’t want to do that, you’re more of an ass man.”
“Are you just here to irritate me?” Grey asked.
“No, we need you, man,” Cruz said, growing serious. “The Grammys are in a week, and we want to show up as a band. It’s the first time we’ve been nominated, and we need to soak up every moment of it. It’s something to be proud of.”
Even though it felt like his life was falling fast down a dark abyss, when his mom told him Shattered Souls was nominated for two Grammys, Grey nearly lost it with excitement. The one thing he wanted at that moment was to be with his boys celebrating, but instead, they were all doing their own things, going their own ways.
Grey nodded and said, “Is everyone going to be there?”
Cruz paused as Grey saw slight panic cross Cruz’s features, an emotion he didn’t show very often, which surprised Grey. Most of the time, Cruz was calm and collected, but Grey could sense the nervousness in his answer.
“We can’t find Rook anywhere.”
“What?” Grey asked in disbelief.
They couldn’t find Rook? Was he really that out of the loop that he didn’t know that one of his bandmates, one of this closest friends and brothers was missing?
“Since when?” Grey asked.
“Since the tour ended. He’s gone completely off the grid. We can’t track him down. We’ve been trying for a while.”
“Have you checked his old house?” Grey asked, thinking that’s where Rook would go, especially if he was in a dark place after his dad died.
“Yeah, a couple of times, but he’s not in there. Landon is going back to his old neighborhood to ask around. We’re kind of running out of options.”
Grey’s heart rate started to pick up as he thought about Rook and what might have happened to him. Even though Cruz and Rook were closer, Grey felt like he was the keeper of Rook, making sure he was staying on track and keeping up with the rest of them. He always held Rook accountable for his actions, and even though they fought about them most of the time, Grey knew Rook appreciated it. Rook needed someone to hold him accountable, someone to watch over him because growing up, he never had that; he was never watched over…he was the one watching over everyone else.
“Let me find him,” Grey said, as his mind started wandering to different places where Rook could be hiding.
“Are you serious?” Cruz asked, almost in disbelief.
“Yeah, I think I can find him.”
“Does that mean you’re going to come to the Grammys?”
“Yes,” Grey said with a slight nod.
“Well, mother fucker, I did it,” Cruz praised himself, as he popped another cookie in his mouth. “The band is back! I knew I was good, but damn, I should win an award,” he fist pumped the air.
“Calm the hell down. Just give me some time, okay? I’m working through things, so don’t go shouting to the roof tops just yet. I need to find that forgiveness that’s needed in order to work with my brother again, and I’m having some difficulty doing so, but the Grammys are important. I owe it to you and the guys to be there.”
“You owe it to yourself,” Cruz pointed out. “You worked just as hard as us, man. We all deserve to be there.”
Grey nodded and said, “You’re right, we do.”
They sat in silence for a while, taking in the smog-filled skyline of Los Angeles and just basking in silence. Grey had to admit it…even though Cruz was a pain in the ass most of the time, it was nice to have him around. It was nice to have that comradery again. He missed
his guys, hell, he missed Landon. All he needed to do was just find the strength within him to let go and forgive. Like his mom said, forgiving was the hard part, but also incredibly liberating, and right now, he wanted nothing more than to have the dark shadow that was hovering over him lifted off his shoulders.
“Do you have a tux?” Cruz asked.
“Like hell I’m wearing a tux.”
“Well, it’s not like you have Quinn to dress you anymore,” Cruz said with a grin. Grey gave him a death glare and Cruz added, “Too soon?”
“Too fucking soon,” Grey responded, starting to feel sour again.
Cruz leaned over and punched Grey in the arm. “Loosen up, man. Joking about it is the best cure for getting over the loss of a good pussy.”
Gritting his teeth, Grey said, “It would probably be in your best interest if you leave now.”
“I gathered that,” Cruz laughed and got up. “In all seriousness, man, your brother is happy. You weren’t in love with Quinn anymore; we could all see it. Let them have this moment and you’ll have yours. The right person is out there for you; don’t let this minor setback bring you down. Quinn wasn’t made for you…she was just a stepping stone. Realize that and move the fuck along. There’s some fine ass girl out there just waiting to suck your dick every night.”
On those parting, and not so very eloquent words, Cruz took off before Grey could say back that the girl that was meant to be with him was currently sleeping in Cruz’s bed.
**Rook**
Journal Entry #169
The feeling of absolute hunger has stopped and numbness has taken over. I know I’ve lost some weight, I can see it in the way that my face looks sunken. To hide the weight loss from my therapist, I decided to grow a beard, making me look like a damn yeti. I think the beard is more disturbing than the sunken face.
Thanks to my push-up regimen every day, I am able to maintain muscle, but now I just look like an emaciated muscled moron. I just can’t seem to force myself to eat. I have a couple of saltines here, as well as some Cup of Soup packets. Apparently, my dad bought stock in that damn sodium rich entrée because there is an endless supply in the pantry. He either really liked the soup or he stole it, most likely the latter.
