by K. E. Young
I thought about his words as I reviewed how the non-dragonlords had treated me and something clicked. "So, it isn't just that my opinion doesn't count, it's that I'm not seen, not heard. They ignore me because they don't acknowledge women at all… unless they want something from them. Women are still silent and covered here, but the silencing and covers are a trick of the mind instead of outwardly observed."
His gaze gave me nothing of what was going on in his head. After a long moment, he nodded with a rueful expression. "Yes. It is one of my least favorite aspects of Therys. I try to teach the boys women are people too but I don't know if it does any good. One reason the Dogaren would rather trade with Marin is that Dartha allows women so much freedom. It's not too surprising. On Dartha's southern border is Akkad, which is a matriarchy. Besides, we've always been allies of Drakken."
I looked at him askance. "I imagine the alliance gives you a bulwark against the Dogaren and Marin." My eyes dropped back to the map and I sighed. "I guess that explains why Asag was so irritated at me when I spoke to him. I should have kept my mouth shut." My stepfather would have fit in here like one born to the place.
From the corner of my eye, I could see Hegall's lips curled in a wry smile. "It's likely. The mindset is less pronounced among the lower strata of society but I don't think that will help you much here in the palace."
So, this world wasn't as different from my own as I hoped. Back home they talked a lot about how women were equal to men but I had seen precious little of it in my life. Aside from my father, men had always forced me into the role they wanted of me. My stepfather had used me as his personal whore and punching bag after my mother died. The foster families had insisted I toe the line or be punished, guilty until proven innocent. Carlos… I didn't want to remember what Carlos had done.
I wasn't a fighter. All I knew was how to keep my head down. I had survived worse things than most people ever see. I could survive this too.
Hegall gave me a reading list before he left, assuring me all the books on the list were here in the palace library. Finally! I could get started on learning how this world works… Perhaps I could look at magic too. I was a fast reader so I wouldn't have a problem finishing the reading Hegall assigned long before his next visit in two days.
Kaio: 11th of Harvest, 3837
Kaio was standing at the window when the tutor entered. "How did your first lesson with Lady Sara go?"
Hegall breezed across the room and flopped into the chair Kaio had placed for him in expectation. "Superb. She's intelligent, thoughtful, and extensively educated even by Darthan standards. There is a great deal going on in that pretty head of hers. She had already analyzed and understood the Therysi mindset in detail not just in general. As far as I can tell, she simply wanted confirmation."
Kaio glanced at him askance, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Still sorry I asked you to come to Therys?"
Hegall belted out a laugh. "You know, I'm not sure. I wish you had come up with a different cover story than drunkard though. Using flis as a perfume is tiresome. It itches and I can't stand the smell of the stuff anymore." He sobered. "I have to admit, it's nice to do something that could make the Bane of the Blue Sea… better. I have a strong urge to beat the snot out a few of those boys though. Insufferable little hab-thals."
Kaio snickered. "Somehow, I don't think Lady Sara will be a problem in that regard. As for the other… Therys won't be the Bane of the Blue Sea for much longer if we have any say in the matter. Dragos is losing patience."
Hegall nodded. "True. Good luck with that. You'll need it." He chuckled. "I have set her a test based on what you told me about her time in Dragos' private library. Reading sections from about twenty books scattered all over the palace library. We'll see how much of it she can complete before our next lesson. None of my current students could finish it, even the scholarly ones."
Hegall's eyes narrowed in thought. "There is something odd about her though. She's too… wary. I don't think she trusts anyone. There is so much going on in her head and you'll never know what most of it is. To be honest, she rather reminds me of Dragos, watching everything, seeing everything, and not saying a word."
Hegall ran his hand through his untidy mop of hair. "Oh, and that meekness of hers? I'm sorry, but I can't tell if it's an act or not. If it is an act, then she's had a lot of practice at it. Despite that, I don't think her world is much like Therys. Her answers to my questions point to a culture that has more in common with Dartha or Direnis.
"Unlike our world, hers has no magic and their medicine and sciences are more highly developed than ours. I won't need to teach her anything in those subjects aside from the plants and animals here. In fact, I suspect she could teach the scholars a thing or two." He gave a brief laugh and shook his head before continuing. "She spent a couple minutes explaining how the striped rock of the cliff forms." His expression sobered. "Makes sense I suppose. Without magic to help make lives better, you would have to focus on what you have."
"No magic? At all?" It surprised him. He hadn't known it was possible. He knew the various havens had differing levels of magic, but he had never heard of one with no magic at all.
Hegall's knee bounced as it always seemed to do when he was thinking. "None. They have legends about it but it was so long ago I suspect it's a carryover from your original homeland."
Kaio ruminated on all Hegall had said. If her world didn't have magic then it was unlikely she had the ability to use it. "Perhaps so. It would make sense for the Goddess to bring one who had different skills and knowledge to call on." His voice was quiet, speaking more to himself than to Hegall. He shook himself and moved on to the rest of the tutor's report. He hadn't decided yet if he could trust her.
It was too bad about the magic though.
Sara: 11th of Harvest, 3837
I spent the remaining hours until lunch in the library. My first task had been to evaluate it the way I had Dragos' library. To my dismay, I found it had no organization at all. I was tempted to put it into order but didn't want to overstep. Besides, it would be a huge job and take days, or even weeks to accomplish and I had a deadline to meet.
After an hour and a half of searching, I found all of the books on Hegall's list and sat down with them at a table under the windows. A quick check showed that while the reading list seemed extensive, it wasn't as bad as I had thought. It came to about a hundred and fifty pages. I could get through it in a few hours. I had always learned best by reading. I ought to finish by bedtime.
That would leave me all day tomorrow to read ahead and see what I could find out about magic.
A maid hunted me down just before lunch. As with the previous day, she led me to the dining hall and pointed me to the same seat I used the previous day.
Scary seated himself next to me again. This time instead of ignoring me, in a gruff voice he said, "I'm Torabreth Girru. Dragos told me I should stop frightening you. Sorry. I won't hurt you." With that, he turned back to his plate and ignored me for the remainder of the meal.
I had mixed feelings. Finding Nemo's 'Fish are friends, not food' played through my head but the lizard brain was still yelling 'Predator — Run!' I knew exactly how Nemo's dad felt now.
After lunch, I found my way back to the library again.
I had almost finished the reading Hegall had assigned when a crowd of women fluttered in like a flock of colorful birds, the soothing silence of the library shattered by their giggling chatter. The look on the face of the one in charge made the skin of my scalp tighten. I had seen the same look on the face of the alpha in every clique of popular girls in high school. She was looking to score points. I stood and stepped away from the chair in case I had to run.
Her voice was syrupy as she said, "Ah, here she is. The famous Nakairu. Hello Nakairu. Do you have a proper name? Are you reading, or looking at the pictures?"
Rudeness would gain me nothing. Nor would keeping silent. "My name is Sara and I'm trying to finish the reading assigned
by my tutor."
Her smile was venomous. "Trying? It's not going well then. Perhaps he hasn't realized you… can't."
Stay calm and don't give her anything. "Actually, I was finishing when you… interrupted."
Her lips pursed before her bright smile re-established itself. "I wanted to warn you. The dragonlords have made a mistake. Again. You're supposed to sit with the other women. The men are angry you're being given preference over them."
Ah, the good old pecking order, I could use that one too. "Perhaps. Perhaps not. Either way, it isn't for any of us to say. I sit where the High-Lord orders me to."
Her eyes narrowed. "We'll see what happens, won't we?" She flashed her venomous smile again and swept out, her retinue right behind her.
As the door closed behind them, I took a deep breath and let it out. The confrontation had gone better than I would have expected. Of course, I had experience with them. They had happened at every new school and foster home. I wasn't foolish enough to believe this was the end of it though. The best way to stay out of her crosshairs was to be so utterly unimportant she lost interest. Sitting at the high table wouldn't let that happen.
"So, the mouse has claws." The smooth burred voice was coming from behind me.
I whirled to see one of the dragonlords, the handsome one. How? I thought I would have noticed him coming in. Had I focused on the girls too much to notice? I could feel panic bubbling.
His frowned thoughtfully. "I don't quite know what to make of you. You're far more intelligent than that lot. Kali shouldn't make snide comments about being unable to read when she can't read herself. No. You aren't Ansoren. You aren't Therysi. What I don't understand is why you're pretending you are. Stop it. It doesn't suit you."
He stalked out without another word and I sank back into my chair, shaking.
Kaio: 11th of Harvest, 3837
The Nakairu had been in his thoughts far too often since her arrival. Hegall's written notes on her answers to his questions bore out his assertion that the world she came from did not subjugate women the way Therys did. So why was she playing the mouse?
When he had seen Kali and her sycophants headed towards the library, he had suspected what they were doing. He followed them in, cloaking himself with his magic. He was interested in seeing how Sara handled it, but he thought she would give in to Kali's bid for authority.
It didn't happen the way he expected.
Instead of cowering the way she did with everyone else, she stood tall and proud. She pointedly stepped away from obstacles, making it clear she would fight if they pushed her.
Her cool, bland calm armored her, giving their claws no purchase. Her measured responses making it clear to the ladies she wouldn't put up with their petty childishness.
The Sara he saw here wasn't the same one he saw presented to everyone else. Which of the two was the real Sara and which the mask?
Sara's final comment shattered Kali's bid and put her in her place. A quick survey of the expressions and body language of the others showed they were reassessing Kali's dominance. Kali would be far too busy defending her status to challenge Sara for a while. Kaio doubted she would try again with witnesses. Kali was greedy, not stupid.
Sara confused him. She was clearly better than any of these damned Ansoren nobles. Why was she pretending to be worthless? He growled in frustration as he stalked away.
He fleetingly wondered if she truly was almost done with Hegall's assignment.
Sara: 12th of Harvest thru 10th of Rains, 3837
The next day a stern old woman arrived to teach etiquette in the morning and a dance instructor in the afternoon. Neither was pleasant although for different reasons.
I learned the hard way that 'Dance' was not men and women dancing together. 'Dance' was women putting on displays for men's entertainment. The closest comparison I had was to belly dancing. I hated it. Being forced to do the one thing I least wanted to do was a slice of hell I was desperate to avoid. Unfortunately, I didn't have a choice in the matter.
The dance instructor was an obese, prissy man. He had two girls with him to play music. I tried my best to ignore their bruises. He carried a long slender cane and used it to prod me into proper position. When I failed to meet his exacting standards, He would give me a stinging smack leaving a welted stripe. The sole consolation was that he kept his actual hands to himself.
I was to have lessons with him every afternoon after lunch.
The etiquette mistress was a harsh and stern old woman named Grila. She was to teach me how to walk, how to talk, how to sit, how to eat, how to bow, how to address anyone (a good rule of thumb: don't), and above all, how to be silent. She punished inadequate efforts with a slap and harsh words.
My lessons with her weren't unpleasant because of the slaps and harsh words though. They were unpleasant because Grila smelled. Some days she smelled bad, other days she outright reeked. I never mentioned it and I was as polite to her as I could be, but I didn't enjoy it.
Despite that, her lessons were far less awful than the dancing lessons. I accepted her criticism quietly and before the first lesson was over, I had gained her grudging approval. She seemed to think that while my manners weren't quite right, I was at least well behaved.
After the first few lessons, I grew bold enough to ask what mannerisms were in use elsewhere. My etiquette lessons expanded at that point. Grila had traveled in her youth. She had been a paid mistress to a rich merchant. She had learned about the manners, customs, and etiquette used everywhere in the Blue Sea except Drakken.
Drakken didn't welcome visitors.
She seemed to welcome the chance to revisit her glory days. Despite the smell and her sharp tongue, I grew almost fond of her.
I almost became comfortable with Hegall too. He spoke the same way my co-workers had back home. I was a person to him. However, the recurring scent of alcohol kept me from getting too comfortable. I could never forget how alcohol made men from my past unpredictable and violent.
I knew my lack of trust was an issue. Hegall hadn't hurt me, but I had little faith he wouldn't. My trust issues were long standing. I had good reasons though.
The next few weeks formed a pattern. I would wake up, have a roll with a cup of tea, and get dressed. Then I would have lessons in the morning alternating between Hegall and Grila. After lunch were the hated dance lessons. After dance lessons, I would return to my quarters to bathe and change, then back to the library until dinner.
I discovered a book called 'Ariset's Myths and Legends of the Blue Sea' and it quickly became my favorite. I loved the stories and Ariset had made note of those portions of the stories that were true. It even had stories about Therys. One, in particular, caught my attention, the story of the Mage-Pillar. A pillar of stone built into the Palace of the Mage-King who ruled the city-state long before it became Therys. The pillar anchored spells protecting the land. When the pillar cracked in a war, the spells broke and warped, corrupting the land. The legend stated that if the pillar were repaired, the land would heal.
It reminded me of the cracked pillar in the entrance hall and I wondered how much of the story was true. Ariset had noted that there was, in fact, a cracked pillar in the Mage-King palace Theryn later took as his own. He also pointed out that from records left by refugees of the war, it had happened at the end of the Accuser Wars. He couldn't say how much of the rest of the story was true. The library had no books about the Accuser Wars.
That the magical basis of the legend might be true weighed more here than it would back home. Magic was real here. It made me wonder how protections like the ones in the story might be designed.
The warm weather broke and turned to chill rain.
Meal times became less nerve-wracking through familiarity although they never became comfortable. Lord Torabreth continued his habit of frowning at me before ignoring me for the rest of the meal. As the weeks passed, the frown grew less pronounced though. Perhaps he got used to me.
The handsome Lord Shalatu c
ontinued his own habit of cropping up when I least expected him, always with criticism about my behavior or my manners. He hated my gowns too. The sole exception to his complaints about how ugly they were was the red. As a result, I wore it more often than I might have otherwise just to cut down on his barbs. Over time, the comments grew sharper and took their toll. I was never good enough, no matter how hard I tried to fit in.
The other dragonlords didn't appear pleased with his habit. They would frown at him when he did it. I even caught Lord Torabreth growling at him once after one of his stings.
I came to dread seeing him, yet I was of two minds. He was a mixed bag. I watched him with the other dragonlords. His quick smile, intelligence, and spirited humor made him a favored companion. I would have liked him if it weren't for his caustic side. He was the one dragonlord who didn't feel like a predator to me although he obviously did to others. I just wished he didn't find me so objectionable. On the plus side, somehow, I knew that the only thing I had to worry about from him were his words. On the minus side, it didn't matter that he wouldn't physically hurt me. He despised me and his tongue was sharp enough to cut diamonds.
Fortunately, Kali never came back for a rematch and about two weeks after her visit, I noticed the ladies orbited someone new. They were never nice, but they left me alone aside from snide comments in the hallways. The men I avoided whenever possible.
This time the problem wasn't my distrust of men because my distrust had ample fodder. The problem was their assumption that I would offer myself to them whenever they wished. They didn't like it when I said no. Some of them got upset about it so I directed them to Dragos. Most of them let it go at that point.
Lord Fanul didn't. It turned out he was the one who had complained I was at the high table rather than seated with the rest of the women. He looked nothing like Carlos, yet there was something in Fanul's expression that reminded me of him. He made my skin crawl.
