She had begun to drift off to sleep when she heard a sound near the back of the apartment. Soon she felt a pair of soft hands on her breasts, and was not startled at all. She knew it was Karla. She felt Karla’s fingernails on her nipples. Stephanie didn’t move. She couldn’t move. Suddenly she felt her best friend’s lips on her abdomen, kissing all the roundness and stretch marks and other imperfections that always embarrassed her when men did the very same thing. She felt herself take off her own underwear, and felt Karla kiss her pussy so tenderly that tears filled her eyes. Tears, because she knew Karla loved her, had loved her since they were seven years old. Had loved her fat, had loved her skinny, had loved her when she was unemployed and had loved her when she was director of her division. Her best friend, and now her lover. Happened all the time between men and women. The man comforts her through everything, just like this. No matter what man rejected her, Karla always comforted her, consoled her, even now, through this current breakup with Sam after two years. While thinking of all these things, Stephanie opened her legs as wide as she could, arching her pelvis up and crying out. Karla continued to kiss her over and over, moving her hands against her skin and opening her, touching her and licking her damp bush like she had the night before.
Stephanie knew Karla was a lesbian. Karla had come out of the closet when they were 19 and in college. It had not impacted their relationship very much at the time. Karla still enjoyed looking at men and admiring them with her eyes. That was as far as it went now. It was just one more thing Stephanie knew about Karla, like the fact that she loved sushi and hated jazz music. Karla had never made any advances to her…or at least she didn’t think she had. Had she? When Stephanie’s relationships with men went awry, Karla was always there to be comforting without bashing the guy, or men in general for that matter. Didn’t she?
Last night when Karla came over, she had thrown her arms around Stephanie, who was standing in the middle of the kitchen, crying so heavily she was unable to speak. Karla led Stephanie to the kitchen table, where they sat down. Karla hadn’t come to the house unprepared, and quick as a flash she had prepared a huge pitcher of rum punch. Pouring a healthy glass for herself and one for Stephanie, Karla listened, managing to decipher Stephanie’s comments between heaving sobs. They drank for a couple of hours as Stephanie talked about Sam, what had gone wrong this time, why it had happened, and so on. Karla listened intently, occasionally reaching across the table to wipe Stephanie’s tears with a tissue.
Stephanie and Sam had been arguing for a few weeks on and off, and finally, they had agreed to end it. It still hurt though. For Stephanie, it was another failed relationship. Another man who didn’t want her anymore. Another example of her inability to keep a man and finally settle down. Another rejection of her love, her heart, of everything she’d given Sam during their two years together. More proof that she wasn’t worthy of love, affection, loyalty or honesty. More proof that she was undesirable. Karla had stroked Stephanie’s hair and rubbed her cheek. She refuted every harsh thing Stephanie said about herself, telling Steph she was an incredible human being and that Sam was a fool. Stephanie talked with Karla and drank into the night while they consumed two pitchers of the extra strong rum punch. By 3 a.m. Stephanie started to wonder why Sam couldn’t be more like Karla…more loving, more affectionate, more considerate. Karla had so many good qualities, Stephanie thought. She was wonderful. She was perfect. The drunken thoughts made Stephanie smile at her friend…a wide, sexy smile.
Stephanie felt Karla take her hand and kiss it. Stephanie looked into her friend’s eyes, trying to make her brain move past the rum. All she could think about was how much she loved her friend. Karla took Stephanie’s hand, stood her up and stood with her, and cautiously, Karla kissed Stephanie on the lips. Just a peck. Then another. Then a third. Stephanie found that she didn’t mind. She didn’t feel shocked or violated. She even felt the initial stirrings of desire within herself. Stephanie found herself leaning into Karla and responding to her kisses. She really liked the way Karla’s breasts touching hers felt
Karla’s touches became sexually driven, and her caresses of Stephanie’s face, hair, and shoulders led to her breasts. Her hands unbuttoned Stephanie’s blouse and reached past her bra, cupping her breasts in her hands as she looked deeply into Stephanie’s eyes. Stephanie looked down and saw the French manicured fingernails moving against her flesh, and she felt her pussy respond to the sight. Stephanie gingerly cupped Karla’s breasts with her hands in return, and heard Karla moan. Stephanie was shocked. She didn’t know she could make a woman feel that way. Sound that way. She reached underneath her sweatshirt and began squeezing them in her hands and began putting them in her mouth, first one and then the other. Karla knelt down to give Stephanie’s breasts her undivided attention, placing one in her mouth, and then the other. When Stephanie looked down to watch her, she noticed that her breasts were smeared with lipstick.
Lipstick was all over her skin. Bronze colored lipstick. On the hard nipples, on the swell and curve of them, all over both of them. She loved it. The sight filled her with desire and the space between her legs began to ache and contract. As she watched her girlfriend lapping at her like a hungry baby, Stephanie reached for Karla’s hands, stood her up, and led her to the bedroom. There they undressed completely and slid into the bed together.
Stephanie wasn’t sure what to do next once they got in bed. She was a little surprised that she didn’t feel more uncomfortable. She attributed that to the length of time she’d known Karla. They had certainly shared beds in the past, even undressed, but never as lovers. Stephanie wasn’t sure how she’d feel about kissing a woman, in spite of what had just transpired. They lay there for a long time, face to face, looking at each other as the streetlight outside peeped in at them through the window, casting the only light in the room. As they moved closer toward one another, Stephanie felt a knot start to grow in her stomach, and when Karla’s lips finally reached hers, she took a deep breath. She found the kiss strangely exciting, even when Karla’s tongue entered her mouth. Her mouth fell open, inviting her best friend to probe more deeply. For the longest time they just kissed, exploring each other’s lips. Then Stephanie reached over to pull Karla closer to her. She placed a finger at the entrance to Karla’s pussy as their lips met again, and opened her eyes to see her best friend’s face. Karla moaned again, and Stephanie felt the lightning bolt of arousal move through her body. Stephanie began moving her finger back and forth while they kissed. She could actually feel Karla getting wetter, and Karla began to move her hips back and forth. Stephanie was amazed at how turned on Karla was by what she was doing. It made Stephanie want to please her even more, so she moved down between her legs, and thinking of every thing she had ever wanted done to her when it came to cunnilingus, stuck her tongue inside Karla as far as it would go. The response she got absolutely enthralled her.
They spent the rest of the night in bed together, getting to know the last few things about each other that last 18 years of friendship hadn’t taught them. Stephanie found out that Karla liked to have her ears licked. Karla found out that Stephanie liked to have her butt massaged. Stephanie discovered just how much she could really come from being kissed and being eaten out. Karla found out how soft her best friend’s skin was all over, and about the little mole on her left upper thigh. They both found out how much they both enjoyed being nibbled. By the time the sun started to come up, they were entangled between each other’s legs, rubbing their pussies against each other, each feeling and feeding the other’s clit with her clit. They kissed and touched and held each other, climaxing over and over and over. Finally, they slept, sweaty and satisfied.
Stephanie opened her legs wider still to her best friend’s tongue. After a few minutes Karla sat up and placed her index finger inside Stephanie, then put the finger to Stephanie’s mouth. She rubbed Stephanie’s lips with her finger saying, “See how good you taste?”
Stephanie licked the finger offered to her and had
to agree. Karla smiled, and reached down to kiss her for a long, lingering moment. Then she got up, saying, “I’ll go finish dinner.”
Stephanie retrieved her underwear, and stood up to put them back on. She looked back at the couch and noticed the wet spot they had left. She smiled at it. Stephanie followed Karla into the kitchen, where she was at the stove stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce. Stephanie came up behind her and dipped two fingers into the sauce. She lifted Karla’s skirt, smeared the sauce all over her ass, and licked it off. She fingered Karla as she ate the sauce, and they both moved to the kitchen floor, dinner forgotten.
*
For the rest of the weekend, Stephanie and Karla were together. They went grocery shopping, and stopped by Karla’s house to pick up a few things, including one oversized strap-on dildo. Stephanie turned off the ringer of her phone at home, and turned off her cell phone. Neither checked their emails. They bought several bottles of wine and a couple bottles of rum. They rented a few movies as well. They cooked and ate and drank. They made love over and over again, straight through until Sunday evening, when it started to rain.
On Sunday night, Stephanie was looking out of her bedroom window, listening to the rainfall. She could hear Karla putting the dishes away in the kitchen. She had to say something. This was just too much too soon. Stephanie had never thought she was a lesbian, had never had a lesbian experience until now. She had never thought Karla’s was interested in her in that way. Karla was her best friend, and more importantly, Karla would have told her. Karla would have said something if she had been interested in her. Or would she have? Of course she would have…Karla would never take advantage of Stephanie’s vulnerable emotional state to win her over.
As for herself, she had certainly never been interested in Karla…or was that even true? Had she been secretly lusting after her friend? Had she been putting out lesbian vibes all these years? There was just much to think about, and she hadn’t had a chance to think at all over the weekend. She’d mostly had chances to fuck Karla. And it had been the best sex of her life. They dived right into each other as if they had been doing it forever.
The two times Karla had fucked Stephanie with the strap-on, the sensation had taken some getting used to, but not in the way Stephanie thought it would. Stephanie had to get used to feeling so turned on and so electrified. The feeling of being penetrated and touching a woman’s breasts pleased her immeasurably. It fascinated and transfixed her, and as Karla fucked her and touched her all the sensations assaulting her made her climax the most intense one she could remember. She was aroused in a more intense way that was different from the way she felt with men and she liked it a lot. It did something to her deep inside. Her whole body felt like it had been heated after years of being cold. Stephanie found the greatest turn on was the look on Karla’s face as Karla did it to her. Karla was moving it in and out, playing with her breasts, playing with her clit, reaching down to lick and bite her, penetrating her faster and deeper, playing with her own pussy and making every one of her nerve endings come alive. Stephanie got so excited she started licking her own nipples, looking up at Karla, sticking her tongue out at her, hardening and moistening herself for her new lover as Karla looked down and called out Stephanie’s name. Karla got so excited when she saw this she began grinding slower and deeper into Stephanie. Stephanie held one breast to her own mouth and took the other hand and fucked Karla with two of her fingers. They both grew wetter and wetter and called to each other as they came.
At that moment she felt a kiss on the back of her neck. Stephanie noticed she had lit candles in the bedroom. Stephanie turned around and Karla kissed her lips as she sat down on the bed. Stephanie looked at her, tears forming in her eyes.
Karla sighed, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.”
A pause. “Are you angry with me?” Karla asked.
“No!” Stephanie said emphatically. “I love you too. Always have. Since second grade.”
Karla nodded. “I know.”
A long, awkward period of silence.
“What do you want from me?” Karla asked.
Stephanie was taken aback. “What do I want?” she repeated. “This was your idea!”
“My idea?”
“Well…you started it.”
Karla took a deep breath. “I think I had a little help with that, Stephanie. And I think you liked it. A lot. Come on now.”
Stephanie couldn’t lie. Her pussy would not allow it. “It felt great,” she admitted, her courage starting to fail. “And you do turn me on…touching you…and…just…I don’t know.”
Silence again.
“I feel like you opened something up in me,” she managed finally.
Karla smiled. “I just…felt like you wanted me that way—that you needed me that way. Was I wrong?”
Stephanie looked into her friend’s eyes. “Once I touched you, I couldn’t believe how…how turned on you got. It turned me on too.”
Silence again.
“Do we go back to being just friends now?” Stephanie timidly asked.
Karla shook her head. “Well, sex changes things. It changes things between male and female friends. Why wouldn’t it change things between us? How do you uncross a boundary once it’s been crossed?”
Stephanie knew Karla was right. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute. Why wouldn’t it change things? She thought again about other situations where best male and female friends crossed the platonic line. It often made things weird, and always made things different. Sometimes the friendships didn’t survive. On the other hand, sometimes best friends made the best lovers, and eventually the best spouses. But was she supposed to marry Karla?
“Now I don’t know…what I am…how I feel…how do I…” Stephanie stammered.
“Well,” said Karla. “Maybe we could try…”
Stephanie cut her off. “Try what? Try to be together? We can’t do that! I’m not a lesbian!”
Karla looked at her rather skeptically.
“And I’d be on the rebound from Sam. I’m an emotional wreck right now.”
“I know you are. I think that’s the only thing I do know right now.”
Stephanie squinted at Karla. “Did you seduce me last night? Did you know I would be upset and needy and you could just come over and make my favorite rum punch and…and…turn me out?” She couldn’t believe she had said it until after she heard the words in the air.
“Did I what?”
“Did you seduce me?”
Karla stood up. “Did you use me to make yourself feel better? Oh, Karla loves me. Karla is good to me. Karla comforts me. Karla will put on a strap on and give me a high hard one and make me feel better.”
Now Stephanie stood, placing her hands on her hips. “Excuse me?”
“Come on Steph. You’ve always drowned your sorrows in orgasms. Whenever you’re upset about something you go fuck somebody to make yourself feel better. Cum is your pain reliever of choice. Maybe I was the only thing available last night. It was pretty late by the time you decided you needed to feel better.”
“What!”
“Give me a break. You know exactly how you looked at me. I certainly know a “come fuck
me look” on a woman’s face when I see it. “
Stephanie took a step back, reeling from Karla’s words. Her voice was quiet now. “Even if I do what you just said…if you know…you didn’t have to take advantage of that weakness. If I looked at you that way…”
“And I can’t believe that’s what you think I did. That I seduced you”
The silence returned. Karla walked out of the room.
Stephanie plopped back down on the bed, exhausted. She looked back out the window. She heard Karla gathering together her things in the bathroom.
Stephanie turned back around when Karla came into the room and sat back down on the bed. Stephanie took Karla’s face into her hands, and began kissing her lips, trying to make amends. This is exactly how I try to make up
with my lovers, she thought to herself. Stephanie put her arms around her and held her tight. She felt her friend’s breasts against hers. She kissed her for all that it was worth, and felt herself getting wet. Stephanie began licking and kissing Karla’s ears. Then a beeping sound made them both jump.
“It’s my cell,” Stephanie explained. “I turned it back on earlier.”
Releasing each other, Karla watched as Stephanie picked up the phone from the dresser. She had a text message from Sam. She scrolled down to read it.
“Miss u bad. Sorry. Can we try? Call me,” she read aloud.
Stephanie looked at the screen of her phone for a long moment. Then she turned it off and put it back up on the dresser. Without a word, she sat back down on the bed next to Karla. Leaning over, she kissed her friend’s left ear, and as she did, whispered one word into it.
“Stay.”
Karla looked at her, eyebrow raised.
“Maybe I am a ‘try’ sexual, and I just want to try everything,” Stephanie joked.
“It’s not funny Steph.”
A pause. “Yeah, I know.”.
“I don’t want to be some kind of sexual science project.”
Stephanie was taken aback. “Is that what you think I’m thinking?”
Silence again. Then Karla said, “You know, we really fucked up last night.”
In unison, they lay back on the bed next to each other, not touching.
After a long time, Karla stood up. She went into the hallway where she had left her packed bag, and picked it up. Stephanie did not move as Karla walked downstairs and out into the night.
Footsie
To Cortez
I’ve been a psychologist for many years, and there are still things about the brain that amaze me, especially when it comes to human memory. It fascinates me that more often than not, it is the little things that trigger memories. Tiny details that are almost unnoticeable are the ones that open the floodgates of total recall. Most people don’t realize that the sense that most strongly causes us to recall memories is the sense of smell. No matter if it’s a good memory, or a bad one. I find this particularly true when it comes to remembering people that are no longer present in our lives. The big parts of them may eventually fade into a fuzzy haze, but the little pieces tend to remain sharp and crystal clear, like pieces of shattered glass. Things like the way he would sigh after he kissed you, or the way she would reach for your hand when you looked sad. The importance of little things became especially clear to me when he left and I was alone in our house permanently.
Lipstick and Other Stories Page 5
