Still, I wish I had time to think this through properly. But I can feel the weight of his gaze like a mountain on my shoulders, compelling me to choose, and fast.
“I have a job here,” I say. I’ve already made my decision, but I want him to know the price I’ve paid each time he has inserted himself into my life. The first time, he left me with a baby and I had to leave my home, my job, and my friends. “I like my house. I even planted a freaking lemon tree in the back. Know why? I liked thinking the tree would be as old as my baby, and that someday we could make lemonade together from the tree, and I’d be able to say it was his tree.”
“His?” he asks, ignoring everything else I just said as he grips my forearm. “It’s a boy?”
“N-no. I mean. It might be. The doctor said I needed to wait until around twenty weeks before she’d check.”
He loosens his grip. “Listen,” he says in a firm voice. “I don’t care how it happens, but you’re getting in my car and you’re coming back to the city with me. I’ll throw you over my shoulder and carry you there if I have to. Carefully,” he adds, eying my stomach.
I chew my lip, looking toward the bathroom where Jess is probably replaying her embarrassment over and over again. “What about my sister?” I ask. “What’s to stop them from kidnapping her when they don’t find me?”
“What do you mean?” he asks. “As far as they know, your dad completely refused to cooperate.”
“Wait,” I say, holding up a hand. “My dad said he never heard a thing about any kidnapping until I told him myself. You talked to him?”
Enzo narrows his eyes, but nods. “I talked to him briefly. It was before I let you go.”
I frown, confused. “My dad said no one from your family ever made a demand out of him.”
“Because I didn’t make any demands,” Enzo says. I just apologized for the scare.
I watch him closely, not sure I completely believe him. I can feel the sense of urgency coming off him like waves, though, and I know he’s not in the mood to linger here and explain everything to me.
“Okay. Fine. I’ll come with you, but you’re bringing my sister too, until I know she’s safe.”
12
Enzo
Neela sits in my private rooms on the third floor of The Spot with a steaming cup of tea between her small hands. Her sister is taking a shower, and my crew should be arriving any minute. It’s around dinner time, but Neela doesn’t seem to be thinking of food yet.
“Chase and Luke will be here soon,” I say, rummaging through my cabinets for something to offer her. I eventually find a package of crackers, but she shakes her head. I set it down in front of her anyway. “Keeping you safe isn’t going to do any good if you starve yourself. Besides, you’re eating for two now.”
“I know that,” she says, surprising me with the sour tone of her voice.
“Listen to me,” I say, reaching to squeeze her hand. She lets me hold it, looking up at me with her large doe eyes that bring up every protective instinct in me. “I did what I said I would last time, didn’t I? I found a way to let you go, to start fresh. I’m going to keep you safe this time, too.”
“By locking me away in this fancy cage again?” she asks.
“What?” I ask, frowning. “You’re not my hostage, Neela.”
She looks startled by that. “So I could just get up and walk out of here and you’d let me?”
“I would, but I’d make sure I was with you and ideally some of my men were, too.”
She deflates a little. “I’m not a hostage then. Just a dog with a short leash.” She sighs and gives me a little squeeze on my hand. “I’m sorry. I know you’ve been good to me in your own way. It’s just kind of hard to get over… all the rest.”
I nod. I understand, even if I don’t like what she’s saying. Part of me imagined taking her back here and picking up where we left off. Though, to be honest, I’m not even sure where that was.
“Then maybe I can make it up to you,” I say, an idea occurring to me. “I’ll take you out tonight after the guys leave.”
“Is that a good idea? You said I shouldn’t be seen in public.”
“It just so happens that the fourth floor here would give you the perfect excuse to wear a mask.”
She raises an eyebrow, clearly dubious, but interested.
“It’s a private part of the club. For members who are interested in BDSM,” I say carefully, watching her expression for a reaction.
“So… you’re really into that?” she says shaking her head. “I’m sorry. Even if I felt like we were… there, together, I don’t think getting whipped and tied up would be good for the baby.”
I chuckle. “It sounds like you know about as much of BDSM as you do the mafia.”
She gives me a glare for that. One I probably deserve.
“It’s not necessarily about sex. It can be, obviously, but there’s nothing stopping us from spending some time together on the fourth floor tonight. There’s good food. Drinks. And if you’re really not into the whole scene, it’ll at least be amusing to watch what goes on.”
Neela chews her lip. She’s tempted. I can tell, but she’s debating it in her head, probably trying to figure out if I’m telling her the truth about not expecting sex.
I’m even a little surprised to realize that I don’t. Of course, if she enjoys the atmosphere and things develop in that direction, I doubt I’d be able to control the fire of desire that is roaring in me to devour her again. At the same time, I’d be happy to have an opportunity to prove to her I’m not the beast my reputation suggests, and I’d feel better knowing she wasn’t just trapped in these rooms until I can fix things.
“I’ll think about it,” she says finally.
I grin. “That’s all I ask.”
Luke and Chase arrive a little while later with my little brothers, and Jess watches them all walk in with a look of stunned silence. It’s almost humorous, because I can imagine how they must all seem to her. The gathering makes for an impressive sight. Luke has his shaved head and the star tattoos at his temples, with dark, arched eyebrows. Chase, as usual, looks like he would fit in a boy band more than in our crew, but he at least has a few tattoos to take some of the softness out of his look. Then there’s my brothers. Angelo is tall and imposing, broad and strong with hard eyes and a short beard. Gino wears a more amused expression, but shares the same build all the men in my family have. Angelo looks like he might punch you for trying to make a joke, and Gino looks like he’d crack a smile. Beyond that, my two brothers could almost pass for twins.
The notable absence is Niko, who probably knows I’d damn-near kill him if he showed his face here.
“We haven’t properly met,” Gino says, extending a hand to Neela. He flashes her an easy smile with twinkling eyes that make me want to backhand him. If I didn’t know my brother well enough to know he’d never try to work a girl of mine away from me, I’d probably do it, too. “I’m Gino,” he says.
“Nice to meet you,” Neela says a little sheepishly.
Angelo just flicks two fingers away from his temple toward her in a lazy salute. “Angelo,” he says deeply.
Luke and Chase introduce themselves to Jess, who still looks like a deer in the headlights.
Half an hour later, Gino and Angelo have finished cooking a pasta dish big enough for everyone.
“So,” Neela asks me as we sit down with our plates at the table while everyone else finds themselves a spot and falls into easy, casual conversation. “Your brothers can cook something like this and all you could manage were some stale crackers and a cup of tea?”
“The crackers were stale?” I ask.
She gives me a dry look.
I grin a little. “I make a mean peanut butter and jelly, and I can grill meat, but that’s about it. I guess the cooking gene skipped me over.”
“Maybe I’m spending my time with the wrong brother,” she jokes after taking a bite of the food.
“Careful,” I say. “You
give me a reason to get competitive and you won’t stand a chance.”
She laughs. It’s a good sound, and even though I haven’t told her just how serious the rift in my family has grown because of all of this, it’s a good moment. A good night. I’m surrounded by the men who are still loyal to me. We’re eating good food. The city stands proud just outside the window and lights the river that runs through downtown. Meanwhile, Luke already has some sappy movie playing on the TV, but hardly anyone is paying attention to it.
I’m more than a little surprised to see Angelo sitting beside Jess, barely touching his food because he’s talking so much.
After dinner, everyone ends up gathered around the kitchen, driven together by an instinctive sense that we need to think of some sort of plan.
“Girls,” I say to Neela and her sister. “It might be best if you give us some time alone to talk about this.”
Jess starts to move toward the bedroom, but Neela just plants her fists on her hips. “We’re in this up to our necks already. You can at least keep us in the loop.”
Gino purses his lips in surprised approval of her spunk, and I can’t fault her reasoning, so I nod my ascent. “It’s worse than we thought,” I say.
The men already know what I’m talking about. When I called them to come for dinner, I gave them all a brief idea of what we were up against. Making sure everyone has a full belly before we talk business is one family tradition started by my father that I still consider sacred, but the time for casual talk is over.
“My father is using this as an excuse for a power grab. He’s drawing a line in the sand. My side, or his.”
“Shit,” says Angelo. “It’s a war, then.”
Luke nods. “Old fucks against the young guys.”
Chase is frowning. “You really think your own father would let it come to that?”
Gino makes a dismissive sound. “If it meant he could be the undisputed top shit again? Yeah. He’d gun us down in a heartbeat.”
“This is so cool,” says Jess, almost under her breath but unfortunately loud enough for everyone to hear.
Neela slaps her shoulder and gives her a stern look, to which Jess lowers her eyes and blushes a deep red.
“I don’t think it’s going to come to anyone getting gunned down,” I say. “He’d settle for a clean split, if it was an option. He could keep his men and we’d keep ours. There’s enough legal heat on his ass as it is without a bunch of dead bodies showing up on his doorstep.”
Chase nods. “I think you’re right.”
“Too bad,” Luke muses. “I’ve got a couple old scores I wouldn’t mind settling with a little bit of hot lead.”
“No,” I snap. “No one does shit without my permission. Unless one of his men has a fucking gun to your head, you don’t do shit. Understand? Even then, shoot the fucker in the knees. Anything lethal is a last resort. If we push it too far, this will be a war. Right now it’s a stalemate, and he wants us to make the first wrong move, and we’re not going to do that.”
“You sure?” Angelo asks. He and Gino are some of the only people I’d allow to question me without bristling. “Could be our chance to break free of the old man’s chains. War could be just the thing we need.”
I shake my head, looking at Neela and then to her belly. “Too dangerous. We’re not going to let it come to that. Does everyone understand?”
They all nod.
No one says it, but they all know the truth. It came this far because I refuse to let anything happen to Neela. The rift that has been down the center of the Luciani family for years now finally split open. People might lose their lives over this, but I can’t let any of that stand in my way. The only thing that matters is protecting Neela and our baby. The only thing.
13
Neela
I look in the mirror at myself and bite my lip. Before knowing Enzo, I’d never had much occasion to think of myself as sexy. But when I see myself in a sleek black dress with silver, glittery trim, and with all but my mouth and chin covered by a masquerade mask, I can’t help imagining how he’d see me. I can already picture how his hungry eyes will roam my body, settling on my cleavage and my ass, where he’ll likely notice I’m wearing a thong from the lack of panty lines.
I’m not even wearing a bra. I still haven’t decided if I’m going to be that bold, but when I’m locked away in this club, it feels like I can step back into that other woman I was my first night with Enzo. The material of my dress is dark enough that it’s not scandalously obvious I’m braless, yet I still get butterflies when I think about walking out of my room like this.
I’m thankful we had a chance to talk to my dad this time, but Jess and I decided it would be best if he didn’t know the full truth, for now, at least. We told him we were going to have a girl’s week out of town with some of our girlfriends and that we should be gone about a week. The plan is to re-evaluate whether we should keep him in the dark if we’re still caught up in this after a week has gone by.
I can hardly believe I’m back here, either.
After Enzo let me go, my time in this room started to take on a nostalgic, magical luster. As crazy as it sounds, I couldn’t stop looking back on it all with a hopeless sense of longing. For once, there had been excitement in my life. The kind of man I’d only daydreamed about was infatuated with me, and he was dragging me deeper into a life that felt more real and intense than my humdrum existence. Then, in the blink of an eye, it was over.
I was back to explaining why the parvo vaccine is important to dog owners and the smell of hospital-grade disinfectant in the morning and dirty scrubs at the end of the day that were sometimes spattered with blood. Everything felt gray and drained of life after being with him.
The only concrete reminder I had that it wasn’t all just a dream was the baby growing in my belly. His baby. It was a little part of him that he’d left with me, a part I could hold on to and love, like a small, perfect bridge between our worlds that I’d never cross, but could look over when I felt sad or missed him.
Now that I’m back? I’m more and more certain I don’t want this to go away again. I selfishly want to dive back in, to suck in so much of the air here that my lungs nearly burst, until I’m full of it and sick on the sweet excitement of his world.
I put a hand to my stomach and wince a little, because I know the time for being selfish is behind me. Maybe four months ago I would’ve. I would have tossed aside every last reservation and dove into his arms when he came back. I wouldn’t have cared if it was dangerous anymore. I’d have considered it a paltry price to pay for letting him bring that color and excitement back into my life. Only now I have a baby to protect, and nothing is so simple.
That’s why I’m not giving in by going on this little date tonight. I’m going with him because it will be fun and it’s harmless, but I’m not making any kind of commitment.
I’m just… giving him a chance to earn a right to be a part of our baby’s life. He might not think it fair that he has to earn a right into his own child’s life, but if he was honest with himself, he’d know why. I need to be sure this life of violence isn’t going to trickle into my baby’s life. If he can convince me of that, then maybe there’s a future for us.
Enzo’s waiting for me outside my room wearing a black suit, a dark gray undershirt, and a black tie. I suck in an involuntary breath at the sight of how striking he looks. He’s the type of man that can make even the most crisp and expensive suit look casual and comfortable. I can see a hint of his tattoos creeping up from beneath his collar and on the backs of his hands, as well.
He grins when he sees me, his eyes doing exactly what I thought they would. “You look fucking incredible,” he says.
“You look nice too,” I say, ignoring Jess, who is looking at me with a crooked smile from the kitchen.
Part of Enzo’s jacket is folded over slightly, so I reach out and straighten his lapel. His eyes fall to where my hand touches him, the backs of my fingers brushing his skin.
There’s a look in his eyes that tells me exactly what kind of thoughts are going through his mind, and I’d be lying if I said they weren’t in mine, as well.
“You sure I won’t look strange wearing a mask into the club?” I ask.
“I’m sure. Doms have all kinds of ways to enjoy their submissives, and wearing a mask would hardly be the most unusual.”
Jess makes a small choking sound. Even though I know having her brought here was the only way to keep her safe, I’m suddenly wishing I had left her behind so she wouldn’t be a witness to him implying he’s my dominant and I’m his submissive.
“Not a word,” I say through tight lips.
She holds back a laugh, but nods her head.
“Can we go?” I ask.
Enzo leads me out into the club. I feel anonymous with the masquerade mask on and I feel sexy at his side. Despite my insistence that I wasn’t agreeing to anything beyond a night out, Enzo still splays his hand across the small of my back protectively.
He watches the room around us as we move toward the staircase. We pass through shoulder-to-shoulder crowds that gyrate with the beat of the music, dancing and drinking.
We reach a staircase and travel up two flights of stairs to a thick, unmarked door.
I give Enzo a curious look. “This is kind of creepy,” I say.
He gives me the flicker of a smile. “It’s part of the charm.”
He leads me through the door and closes it behind us, which muffles the sounds of the club below surprisingly well, until I can only hear the music if I concentrate. We’re in a narrow hallway now with padded velvet walls that are a deep scarlet color.
I let him take me down the hall and to the right, where we find another door and a man who stands guard. He gives Enzo a slight nod before opening the door and letting us inside.
A different kind of music fills the air in here. It’s soft but driving in a way that’s easy to tune out, but I have no doubt the persistent, pulsing beat has a way of sinking into the subconscious. The first thing I notice are the sections of glass outcroppings built out of the walls. We’re in what seems to be a main lobby area with a few rooms that branch off, but all along the walls here, three-sided glass rooms jut out, and several are occupied.
Hate at First Sight Page 44
