I bet he would if he could. I’ve known him for what feels like forever. Longer than Em and I have been friends. We grew up together in this neighborhood and he chose me as his best friend. When Em came along, I chose her. We all three chose each other.
So why does he want to get away from her?
“Are you two in a fight or something?” I ask. When he frowns at me, I clarify, “You and Em.”
“She’s being weird. I think it’s that Ryan guy.” Dustin scowls. “I don’t like him.”
“Why not?” Unease slips down my spine. I don’t particularly like Ryan either. He’s funny and awful and sexy and arrogant, yet…I’m drawn to him.
It makes no sense.
“He’s a know-it-all. Thinks pretty highly of himself. You can just tell. I’m sure once school starts he’ll ditch us all for the popular crowd.”
“Dustin. My friend. My love. We are the popular crowd,” I tell him in all seriousness, then shove his shoulder, which is pointless. The boy has muscles. He’s lean and fast, with the body of an athlete. He’s become well known because of his basketball skills and while we’re not total losers, we’re not super-popular either. “Seriously, why would he ditch us?”
“He’s a jock. Played football at his old school. He just started going to practice here.” He grimaces. “I hear he’s good.”
Of course he plays football. Of course he’s good at it. He seems untouchable. He’ll start school and see all the other girls there and forget all about us…
Ryan will become a football god and break Em’s heart. I’ll console her with ice cream and ’90s movie night and everything will be right in our world. Dustin will want to hang out with us and we’ll get drunk on his dad’s liquor stash because his parents are never home on a Friday night. They always go out.
It’ll be like old times.
“Let’s get out of here.” He leans in to kiss me again and I dodge him, leaping to my feet and waving a hand at the oversized T-shirt I’m wearing.
“I need to change.” I point at him. “So do you.”
“I think I have another T-shirt around here somewhere since you’re wearing mine.” He glances at the mess surrounding us and makes a face before looking at me. “We’ll need to help her with this, huh.”
“You know it.”
Dustin sighs. Runs a hand through his dark hair and messes it up thoroughly. He looks cute like that. For one quick moment, I can forget all about my worry and imagine what it would be like if we were really together.
It would be…nice. I have no doubt Dustin would make a great boyfriend. He’s attentive. Caring. Good-looking. A great kisser. Smart. Funny. He makes me laugh.
I want that. I want him.
I’m just having a hard time telling him.
“We should wait for her,” I suggest, my voice quiet. “We can change while we wait and then all three of us can go to breakfast. Then we’ll come back and clean up the house.”
“Good idea. I guess.” He smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “You always have good ideas, Livvy.”
That’s not really true.
But I’m not going to correct him.
We end up at a breakfast house not far from our neighborhood, a place I remember going to all the time when I was a kid and my parents and I were still a happy little family unit. We’d go every Saturday morning and I always got the chocolate chip pancakes since they came with a whipped cream face and a cherry nose.
But that was kid’s stuff. My past life. I’m different now. Since coming home I feel different and I think a lot of it has to do with what happened last night. Between Em and I. Dustin and I.
Even Ryan and I.
If my best friend ever found out how Ryan touched me, what he said to me…
I think she’d hate me forever.
Em’s so focused on her phone she doesn’t realize the waitress is waiting for her order after Dustin and I already gave ours. I kick her under the table and she glares as I flick my head toward the waitress.
“Oh.” Em sits up straighter and sets her phone on the table. “What did you get?” she asks me.
“Bacon, eggs and hash browns. Sourdough toast,” I tell her.
“I’ll have the French toast.” Em smiles at the waitress as she hands over the menu.
“Bacon or sausage?”
“Sausage.”
“Didn’t you get enough sausage last night?” Dustin asks, his tone completely innocent.
Em narrows her eyes and we all forget about the waitress as she huffs away. “You’re disgusting.”
“Seriously, Em,” I say quietly, gaining her attention. “What happened with you and Ryan?”
She remains silent, her phone buzzing and she picks it up, types out a quick text.
“We’re all friends here,” Dustin says when she still hasn’t answered. “We used to tell each other everything.”
The look she sends both of us is full of irritation. And…hurt? “Funny, how some of us are still keeping secrets.”
Dustin tilts his head so he’s staring at the table, like he can’t face her. I remain still, fighting the war inside me. I forgot to mention to Dustin that I told Em about us. I hope he won’t be mad.
Her expression turns incredulous. “So you two are really together now? After everything we’ve been through?”
“No,” I say just as Dustin says, “Yes.”
Our heads swivel in tandem as we both stare at each other. It’s his turn to have eyes full of hurt. I didn’t mean to deny we’re together, but we’re not really together. We haven’t made it official.
Yet.
“Which is it then?” Em’s tone is snide. “Are you with Liv or not, Dustin?”
I frown, my gaze going to her. Why does she sound…jealous? And why are we having this very personal conversation in the middle of a crowded restaurant?
“Keep your voice down, Em. Jesus,” Dustin says.
“I deserve to know the truth.” Em lifts her chin, her expression completely unreadable. “I’m the one who’s going to get left out of this special little relationship if you two turn into boyfriend and girlfriend, so at least tell me what’s going on.”
“You kind of sound like a jealous bitch,” Dustin mutters.
“I don’t have any reason to be jealous.” Em’s brows shoot up. “Do I, Dustin?”
“Oh my God, what is wrong with you two?” I glare at the both of them. “Stop fighting. What happened is no big deal.”
“Maybe to you,” Dustin retorts.
“Dustin, come on.” I reach out, touch his hand, but he snatches it away like I’m made of fire and I just burned him. “I don’t want to fight.”
“I don’t either,” he says, though he won’t look at me.
“You two lovebirds are gag-inducing.” I watch as Em picks up her phone and starts texting once more. She can feel my gaze on her and finally glances up, her expression daring me to defy her I guess. “What? You talk in code and kept your so-called relationship a secret. I’m out of the loop yet again. I always am when it comes to you two.”
“Em.”
She’s focused on her phone once again, her teeth sinking into her lower lip like she’s trying to contain a smile from spreading across her face. All around us regular life is happening. Families crowded into booths, their kids babbling nonsense. I hear a baby cry, an older woman laugh uproariously, a waitress asking someone if they want more coffee. I look around, the tension at our table palpable in this sea of normalcy, and I hate it.
I want normalcy. Crave it.
“We’re going to help you clean up the house after breakfast,” I tell Em, desperate to change the subject. “When are your parents back?”
“Tomorrow night.” She sighs and grabs her coffee, taking a big gulp. “They’re going to kill me.”
“No, they won’t. They won’t even know you had anyone over,” I say firmly, gently nudging Dustin’s side with my elbow. “Right D?”
“Right.” He nods. Doesn’t
look at either of us. He’s still upset with me, I suppose, studying his phone, his brows furrowed, his other hand clutched around the sweating plastic cup from Starbucks he picked up on our way to the restaurant. They let him come in with the Frappuccino when I told him they’d probably make him throw it away.
The triumphant smile he’d given me when he’d strutted into the restaurant had been…cute. Sweet. Made me smile in return and laugh.
None of us are smiling or laughing right now. And it sucks.
“Hey.”
A familiar voice makes all three of us lift our heads to find Ryan standing in front of our table. He’s got a giant grin on his face, his golden brown hair damp, and he’s wearing a white T-shirt and black basketball shorts. His gaze meets mine and darkens the slightest bit as he drinks me in.
I feel that look all the way down to my toes.
“Ryan!” Em leaps from her seat and wraps him up in a full-body hug. He returns it, one hand briefly skimming her butt as he kisses her cheek before she takes his hand and pulls him into the booth with her. “I invited him to breakfast. Hope you don’t mind,” she tells us, her tone defiant. As if she wants us to tell her we absolutely one hundred percent do mind.
“No, of course we don’t,” I say, my voice a little too high. A little too bright.
Dustin says nothing at all.
The plan after breakfast was for us to head back over to Em’s house in Dustin’s Jeep so we could start the cleanup process. But Ryan’s thrown a wrench into the mix, since Em wants to ride with him. Meaning she’s forcing me to have to ride with Dustin.
Alone.
Which is good, because I need to clear the air and apologize for denying that we’re together. Maybe that’ll give him the opportunity to ask me to be his girlfriend and I’ll say yes. Right?
Right?
It’s what I want. I know it’s what I want. Though once we agree we’re dating, that’ll change our entire relationship.
“You have a phone charger in your car, right?” Em asks Ryan as we stand in the parking lot.
“Nope.” He shrugs. “Why, you need one?”
Em nods, glancing over at Dustin. “I know you have one.”
“I do,” he agrees, his expression reluctant. Like he doesn’t want to deal with Em.
Not that I can blame him.
“Then I guess we’ll all three ride back together and you can follow us, Ryan,” Em says.
His expression turns into mock pouting. He even purses his lips, which is, like, the cutest thing ever. “Maybe I don’t want to ride alone.”
“Aw.” Em wraps her arms around his middle and squeezes him. “It’s only a five-minute ride.”
“I know.” His pout vanishes and his gaze clashes with mine. “Maybe Livvy can ride with me.”
“Oh, I don’t think…” I start, but Em cuts me off as she pulls away from Ryan.
“Perfect! And I can ride with Dustin and charge my phone.” She sends me a meaningful look before she glances at her phone, but now it’s her turn to pout. “Damn it. It just died.”
That meaningful look means she’s going to talk to him about me. My stomach immediately starts twisting in knots, making me regret I ate so much at breakfast.
“Come on. Let’s go,” Dustin says, glaring at me as he grabs hold of Em’s hand and drags her to his car.
Leaving Ryan and I standing in the parking lot together.
“You look scared,” he says the moment they’re out of earshot.
Ugh. I hate how he does this sort of thing. “You don’t scare me.”
He starts walking toward me, his body brushing against mine as he passes. “Maybe I should,” he murmurs. “Come on.”
I turn and follow after him, surprised when he whips out a keyless remote and hits the button, a brand-new white BMW’s taillights flashing when it unlocks. The car is so new it doesn’t even have plates yet.
And it’s gorgeous.
Expensive.
“This is yours?” I ask as he opens the passenger-side door for me.
Ryan waves a gallant hand toward the open door. “No. I’m stealing it.” He rolls his eyes as I draw closer. “Yeah, it’s mine. Get in.”
I climb inside, overwhelmed by that new car smell. The black leather seats are butter-soft, the scent strong and rich as it envelops me, and my mouth goes dry when he slides into the driver’s seat, his hands reaching for the steering wheel.
Who knew a guy climbing into his car could be so sexy?
“This is really nice,” I say as I lean forward and run my hand over the dash.
“It’s all right.” He starts the car, the engine rumbling to life, and I lean back, trying my best to discreetly watch him as he drives.
He moves with a confidence I’ve never seen in any guy I know before. Like he’s in full command of the car, the space, the parking lot, the road. It all belongs to him and we’re just lucky enough to get to cruise along for the ride.
My gaze drops to the cup holders in the center console and I spot the iPhone charger cord resting there. “You lied,” I say incredulously.
He sends me a confused look. “What about?”
“You have a charger.” I hold it up, let the white cord dangle from my fingers.
Ryan’s face breaks out into a devastating grin. “So I did. Anything to get you alone with me in my car.”
I drop the cord back into the cup holder and turn away from him, my mind swirling. I can’t believe he lied to Em.
I also can’t believe he wanted to get me alone.
“You didn’t want to ride with me,” he says once he navigates out of the parking lot.
“It’s not that, it’s just…” I watch him, unsure of what to say next.
He sends me a quick look. “What?”
“You and Em.” I hesitate for a moment. “I know you’re together.”
“Just because we messed around last night doesn’t mean we’re together. It was nothing.”
“You shouldn’t flirt with me,” I remind him.
“What’s the big deal? It’s just a little harmless flirting between…friends.” His lips twitch in the corners and I know he wants to laugh.
The jerk.
“I’m not going to get into the middle of you two,” I say.
“There’s nothing to get in the middle of.”
I’m shocked. He has to be lying. Or he cares way less than Em does about what they’re doing. “So what are you two exactly?”
“Friends?” He sends me another cryptic look as he gently presses the brakes. We come to a stop at a streetlight, Dustin’s black Jeep is up ahead of us. “Isn’t that what you and Dustin are?”
“Well, yeah.” I shrug, not wanting to talk about what Dustin and I are.
“And you two messed around last night, right?”
God. Is he fishing for information or does he actually know? “Nothing happened,” I mumble, turning my face away so I can stare out the passenger-side window.
He chuckles. “Liar,” he murmurs just before I feel his fingers dance across the top of my thigh. I suck in a breath, my gaze meeting his once more, and he’s smiling, a freaking devil’s smile curving his lips. “You just don’t want to admit you got naked with Dustin.”
My mouth drops open. The way he describes things…it’s like he was actually there. Last night was the first time I actually got naked with Dustin. How does Ryan know this? Or is he just assuming?
“Your face says it all.” He squeezes my knee, his palm hot against my skin before he releases me. “How was it? Did he make you come?”
“Stop,” I gasp, blown away he would say these things. It was bad enough, what Dustin said to me last night. I’m not comfortable talking about this sort of stuff in the middle of the day in Ryan’s car, let alone last night after an intimate moment with Dustin.
“I’m guessing he didn’t.” Ryan shakes his head and hits the gas when the light turns green and the traffic starts to move. “Too bad. Sexual frustration is the worst.”
>
“Like you know anything about it,” I retort, crossing my arms in front of my chest like some sort of shield against his crazy questions and statements.
But it doesn’t work. They just keep coming.
“Oh, I know everything about it. I’m totally sexually frustrated right now. At this very moment.”
“Give me a break.” I roll my eyes.
“It’s true.” Ryan presses a button and the window slides down, letting in warm summer air. He looks over at me, the wind blowing his hair into his eyes. He looks gorgeous, those green eyes of his pinning me in place. “And it’s all because of you.”
“You are unreal.” I start to laugh, shaking my head. I don’t believe him. Not at all. He’s full of shit. Just saying things to try and get a rise out of me or something. “You were just with Em last night.”
“Yeah. So? I mean, it was great and all, but she’s not you.” The sly smile stretching his perfect lips makes me want to punch him.
I uncurl my arms and raise them in the air, like he just said the most ridiculous thing ever, which he did. “You’re insane.”
“For you.”
“You just met me.”
“Yeah, but the attraction was there from the very start.” He flicks on his blinker, turning right as he follows behind Dustin. “I shook your hand and I think you electrified me. Short-circuited my brain.”
“Shut. Up.”
“Dead serious.” A hesitation. “You didn’t feel it?” His voice softens and I look at him, hold my breath when he reaches out and yet again touches my thigh with gentle fingers. I jerk my leg away from his hand. “I did. I looked into your eyes and thought, ‘This girl is gorgeous. I want her.’ But then I saw you with Dustin and figured I didn’t have a chance.”
I’m breathless. Wordless. He can’t mean it.
“All I’ve heard from Em all summer is Livvy this and Livvy that. She puts you on a pedestal, you know. You’re her best friend.”
“She’s my best friend too,” I say quietly. “That’s why…”
“It was nothing.” He reaches out and squeezes my knee, and this time I don’t pull away. It’s like I can’t. “Trust me. Em knows what’s up. It’s a summer thing.”
Just Friends Page 5
