It is not the crown she mourns. Your Grace.
ROGER
Yes, of course—forgive me, how terrible of me—I did not—
WISDOM
Please, think not another moment of it. You of all people should know the pain of losing a family member.
ROGER
That I do, Princess. That I do...
They stroll, though Roger takes pains to keep his distance from the terrace edge. Wisdom, on the other hand, leans far over the balustrade, oblivious to his blanching.
WISDOM
I used to dance on this, you know. When I was young.
ROGER
You did not!
WISDOM
It gave Teddy fits, so of course I had to.
She hoists herself up to sit on the rail. ROGER gasps and shields his eyes.
ROGER
You are made of stronger stock than I, Princess Wisdom. I could not imagine...
WISDOM
Please, call me Dizzy. Everyone does. It suits me, really, far more than Wisdom. Never was a child less aptly named...
ROGER
I'm sure you're wise.
WISDOM
I'm sure I'm not. I'll tell you what I am: I am bored.
She leaps off the rail and takes Roger's arm. They resume their stroll.
ROGER
My company offers so little? "The Duke of Tedium" you must call me behind my back...
WISDOM
You know I do not. This fete has been the highlight of the season for me. Truly.
ROGER
Good heavens, I did not realize ...
WISDOM
I have never once left the borders of Montagne! Is that not shocking? I yearn to see the world, and all I see is this. It is so mind-numbingly, wearingly dull.
ROGER
Perhaps you should recommence dancing on the balustrade. 'Twould take your mind from your pain, I am sure.
WISDOM
I would in a heartbeat, you may be certain, were I not convinced they would strangle me forthwith.
She gestures to the circle of crowned adults at the far side of the terrace. Even now several women surreptitiously observe them.
Roger, however, has eyes only for Wisdom. As the setting sun highlights her fair features, he studies her with unprecedented interest. A smile plays at his lips.
ROGER
I fancy you'd attempt it for a wager.
Wisdom turns to him, laughing.
WISDOM
A wager? Of what? One of those bits of land you're forever accumulating for your family? Oh, behold, we are blessed! The terrace was built for this very moment!
ROGER
So that you and I might converse so intimately?
WISDOM
Your flirtation is more craft than art, my dear Grace. No, I speak of the sunset. Here we stand at the sole location in the chateau whence it may be observed. My wise great great aunt Sophia—in whose honor I was so unsuccessfully named—erected the terrace for this very purpose. Though it was not finished until many years after her passing, I fear.
ROGER
Oh. How nice ... But I should like to return to our wager.
WISDOM
Really, Farina, I cannot—much as I desire to do so—dance upon this rail. I should give my dear grandmama apoplexy.
ROGER
Even for my hand in marriage?
Wisdom stiffens. The man appears dead serious. She swallows.
WISDOM
What have I to offer you, my Grace? I have no throne, no land ... You have far too much ambition to wed a title.
ROGER
I do not choose to wed a title, Princess. I choose to wed a brave and witty and pretty young woman. Not a family in the world would not benefit from that triad.
WISDOM
I ... I see...
ROGER
I cannot offer you a kingdom, nor a castle such as this. But I promise you a life of travel, in my lands and throughout the empire. And I swear it will not be dull.
He sinks to one knee and takes her hand.
ROGER (cont'd)
I vow on my name and my honor, Princess Wisdom of Montagne, to provide you—in its myriad and splendid forms—the blessing of excitement.
Wisdom, bathed in the golden sunset, studies him and slowly sinks to her knees as well.
Queen of All the Heavens
A PLAY IN THREE ACTS
PENNED BY ANONYMOUS
The First Act
—unabridged and entire—
featuring a Cast of Characters,
as well as futuristic connections to learned
commentary by persons of interest
and discussion of the play's most mysterious and cunning
origins
***
CAST OF CHARACTERS, IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE:
Cuthbert, Prince Consort of Montagne >
Providence, Queen of Montagne >
Young Temperance, Princess Royal of Montagne, known as Teddy
Benevolence, Queen Mother of Montagne, known as Nonna Ben >
Temperance, Princess Royal of Montagne >
Wisdom, Princess of Montagne, known as Dizzy >
Roger, Duke of Farina >
Tavern Keeper, Frizzante Inn
Modesty, lady-in-waiting to Wisdom >
Patience, lady-in-waiting to Wisdom >
Wilhelmina, Dowager Duchess of Farina >
Fortitude, a serving maid, later lady-in-waiting to Wisdom >
Tips, a circus acrobat >
Rüdiger IV, Emperor of Lax >
Footman, Phraugheloch Palace
Act I, Scene i. Queen's suite, Chateau de Montagne.
Queen Providence abed, with Queen Mother Benevolence, Prince Cuthbert, and young Princess Temperance. Cuthbert is presented an infant.
CUTHBERT: Another daughter! 'Tis pure delight.
PROVIDENCE: She will, I am certain, display the benevolence of her grandmother and the temperance of her nearest kin. Shall we name her Wisdom?
CUTHBERT: The perfect virtue! You are too brilliant, my love. Perhaps one day she will even display a facility with mushrooms.
PROVIDENCE: We can only hope. Come, Teddy, and meet your new sister. My heart knows you two shall forever be the dearest of friends.
YOUNG TEMPERANCE: Will she be bound to crown as well?
PROVIDENCE: No, my sweet, the role of queen is yours alone.
BENEVOLENCE: Let me hold this gift. O! I must confess it: I sense the spark of magic within this life.
YOUNG TEMPERANCE: She has magic but no obligations? Then she is twice blessed and I am twice cursed. Not a minute old and already she bests me.
PROVIDENCE: The crown of queen is blessing, not curse—
YOUNG TEMPERANCE: So you say! But it is forced upon me.
PROVIDENCE: Mother—dear mother! Help! Our Nonna Ben convulses!
BENEVOLENCE: Behold the infant, one and all! This babe, too, shall reign as queen—but not in this world, or on it!
CUTHBERT: How speak you thus, belle-mere?
YOUNG TEMPERANCE: Are you ill? Will you die?
BENEVOLENCE: But wait, the moment passes ... Some queer force moved within me ... Never have I felt such power.
CUTHBERT: Was it fierce, this force? Should we fear for her life? For ours?
BENEVOLENCE: 'Twas not grave, O no, but rather the premonition of freedom unfettered and unbound ... Acclaim ... Accolades mysterious and bountiful ... But observe. The infant sleeps. For now, she knows only the peace that every baby should.
PROVIDENCE: O blessed child! What greatness awaits you?
YOUNG TEMPERANCE: And will you yet love me?
***
Act I, Scene ii. Terrace, Chateau de Montagne.
Night. Providence and Temperance stroll together.
PROVIDENCE: How fare you this fine evening?
TEMPERANCE: I am well, for solitude is blissful. Observe the agapanthus blooming; it has such stately beauty. Such quiet...
A whoop offstage. Benevolence and Wisdom enter riding brooms.They alight.
WISDOM: Our best flight yet, I daresay! Did not you see that owl's glare? We've speed he lacks—he doth resent us!
BENEVOLENCE: Good evening, both. I hope our transport did not jolt you. We witches cast our spells exclusively for good.
WISDOM [aside]: For good and for sport! Magic is the world's best pleasure.
TEMPERANCE: My heart beats yet in awful fright ... But I must be brave, or so it's told me.
PROVIDENCE: To fly, to soar—I must confess, I long to know that happiness.
WISDOM: If brooms held two, I'd take us both, for earthbound bliss is no match for flight.
TEMPERANCE: O Mother, no! Your hankering will harm you!
PROVIDENCE: Remember the first pony rides you girls enjoyed—a groom on either side to hold the bridle and protect you? 'Tis a pity there's no saddle here, nor groom to walk beside me.
WISDOM: Perhaps we'd serve ... Nonna Ben, think you the same?
BENEVOLENCE: It might well work ... Sit here and I will guide you.
PROVIDENCE: I've always dreamed—now at last my dream comes true!
TEMPERANCE: Mama, I fear so much ... You and I lack magic blood and should not tempt what witches might.
WISDOM: I'll clasp th'broom here. Mama, look solely where you want to go. Whither your gaze, the broom doth follow.
BENEVOLENCE: It works! She rides!
PROVIDENCE: There's naught to fear! I'm full of joy! Behold the stars above me!
BENEVOLENCE: Do not look up!
WISDOM: The broom has strength—it pulls away! My grip is gone!
PROVIDENCE: Help me, please! I fly away—I'm o'er the cliffs—they drop so far; I can't see bottom! Help—I fall! I'm lost—I'm falling.
Providence plunges over the balustrade.
TEMPERANCE: She is dead, far below! Mama! I come—
BENEVOLENCE: No! Stay here! Don't draw attention! If the world learns that we fly on brooms...
WISDOM: Then witches burn, and all our country. Mama, in your memory I vow to spell no more. My magic dies within me.
BENEVOLENCE: And me as well. The queen is dead ... Long live our queen. I hail you.
Benevolence kneels to Temperance. Wisdom kneels to Benevolence.
TEMPERANCE: I can't be queen!
BENEVOLENCE: You are one. We're here to help, Wisdom and I; we'll never leave you, ever.
TEMPERANCE: I'm queen? O woe!
WISDOM: O woe, O woe ... I'm in Montagne forever?
***
Act I, Seene iii. Terrace, Chateau de Montagne.
An afternoon fete with musicians.
Enter Duke Roger of Farina and Queen Temperance of Montagne.
ROGER: This terrace is lovely, is it not? Your Majesty?
TEMPERANCE: Alas, my poor mother! She adored this terrace. My sister and I would play here and she, laughing, would applaud ... But that was before ... O woe!
ROGER: Take my handkerchief. Please, consider it a token of my affection... [Aside] I also mourn for my brother, but life must move past death.
TEMPERANCE: Were she alive, I would yet be cultivating herbaceous shrubberies ... Now I am obliged to rule, though the throne holds no magic for me.
ROGER [ aside]: How can I woo this Temperance? "Queen Melancholia" is a name more suitable.
TEMPERANCE: And, they say, I must take a husband.
ROGER: Surely some man would tolerate—er, desire you. I myself would delight... [Aside] No! I cannot speak the words! Rather bachelordom and my mother's wrath than this!
TEMPERANCE: Behold—a weed amongst the rhododendrons. I must attend to it...
Exit Temperance.
ROGER: What a miserable female! What a miserable day!
Enter Princess Wisdom of Montagne.
WISDOM: A miserable day indeed. Your Grace, do not look so abashed! I do not envy you the challenge of courting my sister; 'twould foil Cupid himself.
ROGER: Your High ness. The day grows brighter with your approach, and the very sun slows its descent to linger in your presence... [Aside] If Temperance is melancholia, then Wisdom represents happiness supreme.
WISDOM: Your flirtation is more craft than art—though I am flattered nonetheless. In return I shall tender a confidence: I used to dance upon this balustrade when I was young.
ROGER: Step back! You shall fall and perish!
WISDOM: Your Grace, you are as green as this leaf! I shan't perish: observe how far I lean over...
ROGER [aside]: Such courage! She has pluck enough for two. With her beside me...
WISDOM: I send this leaf on a great adventure. Fortunate leaf! How I envy you floating away ... O, I yearn to see the world, yet never once have I left Montagne. Is that not piteous?
ROGER: Piteous indeed, for the world has wonders past counting, and I'd delight in presenting them all to you. But please: I have too little valor. Step away from the precipice or I shall be ill.
WISDOM [aside]: "Too little valor"—this I hear too much! All these suitors full of fear. But this one states it at least. And he has a handsome face...
ROGER: Your Highness—I am overcome. I fall to one knee to beg your hand in marriage.
WISDOM: To see the world is the richest of offers! Yet you mock me, Your Grace. It is my older sister you desire, not me. Farina has far too much ambition to wed a princess in lieu of a queen.
ROGER: 'Tis true my mother sent me to garner a kingdom with my bride. But with brave Wisdom beside me, I know I shall sway her otherwise. My life rests on this moment. Say the word and I shall be the most blissful of men.
WISDOM: I cannot resist such promise ... Yes, Roger. Yes.
***
Act I, Seene iv. The forests of Pneu.
Wisdom enters.
WISDOM: Behold that flash of gold! A dragonfly much finer than any in Montagne. That cloud—knows it our staid chateau? Ha! It floats for me alone. I'm free!
Enter Benevolence carrying the cat Escoffier; also Lady Modesty, Lady Patience, and others walking beside the carriage.
MODESTY: My feet hurt so!
PATIENCE: My body aches! Bedbugs gnaw my tender skin—
MODESTY and PATIENCE: We itch!
BENEVOLENCE: Six days late for Phraugheloch's gates—this nuptial journey has been pure disaster.
WISDOM: Hear you not yon stormy brook? It sings its song so sweetly.
PATIENCE: These swollen streams have sunk our barge.
MODESTY: The flooding makes us walk, not ride.
WISDOM: Of course we must walk up the hills—our carriage horses struggle too with this ascent ... and lugging all your luggage.
BENEVOLENCE: My stomach aches, but more my heart: your timid sister rules alone.
WISDOM: Who cares? By which I mean to say: I crave adventure; she does not. Each situation suits the girl.
BENEVOLENCE: I dearly hope excitement shuns our Kingdom of Montagne.
WISDOM: Fear not; it always has before. Behold that bird, its plumage bright, a jewel among the flowers.
BENEVOLENCE: Let's hope your sister perseveres, and we as well, and feline.
***
Act I, Seene v. Interior, Frizzante T avern.
Morning. A great spread of food.
TAVERN KEEPER: It is the dream of my life to serve a queen—particularly one so receptive to the culinary arts! This meal shall be remembered forever...
Enter Benevolence carrying Escoffier, and Wisdom, Lady Modesty, Lady Patience, and others.
BENEVOLENCE: Good morn to you, my fine man. What glories have you prepared us? I vowed after last night's feast I should never eat again, yet my sable companion and I find ourselves ravenous once more.
TAVERN KEEPER: My chefs toiled through the night ... I have for you fine omelets, sweet pastries, and my personal masterpiece: oysters.
PATIENCE: Oysters! What a tremendous delicacy! O, they taste divine!
MODESTY: The crust so delicate—the interior so creamy ... I believe I shall h
ave four if it does not appear too greedy.
WISDOM [aside]: That is a spectacle well worth forgetting ... This roll is still warm. I am quite content with it alone for the moment.
TAVERN KEEPER: Your Majesty, you do not dine? Are the oysters not quite to your satisfaction?
BENEVOLENCE: My friend turns up his nose—this cat knows more of cookery than most men.
TAVERN KEEPER: These oysters arrived only this morning, packed in ice ... I could not resist their purchase, however dear, as I knew my guests deserved the best.
BENEVOLENCE: Of course you shall be justly compensated. But when traversing mountains, I prefer mountain fare. I recall a leg of lamb that left last night's table only half-consumed ... Wisdom! You cannot depart so soon! You have barely swallowed two mouthfuls!
WISDOM: There is a man outside juggling! That entertainment is all the nourishment I require.
Exit Wisdom.
BENEVOLENCE: His Grace will find it quite the chore to tame his feral bride ... Come, Escoffier, let us break our fast. Truly this meal will never be forgotten.
***
Act I, Seene vi, Interior, carriage,
Benevolence, Wisdom, Lady Modesty, Lady Patience, and others ride.
WISDOM [aside]: How dull this is to ride, not stroll.
MODESTY: How nice this is to ride at last. A carriage is for ladies.
Wisdom's Kiss Page 37
