“Will they?”
The girls were all younger than Fannie was. They didn’t believe in the project the way she did. They weren’t beholden to Connie the way she was. If Connie had to sell her property, Fannie would lose more than a friend. She’d lose the job she loved. Riding and training horses was more than a childish pastime. It was what Fannie wanted to do for the rest of her life.
Fannie’s Amish upbringing put her squarely at odds with her dream. Although some unmarried Amish women ran their own businesses, it wasn’t common. Some worked for English employers but only until they chose to be baptized. Most worked in their family’s businesses. Her parents and the bishop wouldn’t approve of her riding once she was baptized, she was sure of that. Unless she chose to give up her Amish faith, it was unlikely she could follow her dream.
Could she leave behind all she had been raised to believe in? She wasn’t ready to make that decision. Not yet.
“I think the team will do fine,” Connie said, but she didn’t sound sure.
Fannie pushed her uncertainty aside to concentrate on her friend. “I wanted to do this for you. I owe you so much.”
Connie continued to brush her horse. “You have to get over thinking I did something special, Fannie. I didn’t.”
“You kept me from making the biggest mistake of my life. That was something special.”
“It was your love of horses that led you to make the right decision. I only wish those other young people had made the same choice.”
“So do I.” Fannie cringed inwardly as she thought about the night that had ended so tragically less than two months after her seventeenth birthday.
“Have you settled on the number of patterns the girls will perform?” Connie clearly wanted to change the subject, and Fannie let her.
“Not yet, but I will before I leave. Have you had any inquiries from the ad you ran on the Horse and Tack website?”
“Lowball bids, nothing serious. Maybe I’m just a poor marketer. These horses should sell themselves. If I had the money, I’d have a professional video made. That might do the trick.”
“My father says the Englisch want an angle, a story. A good horse for sale isn’t enough. It has to be an Amish-raised and Amish-trained horse. That’s okay for him, but it doesn’t help you.”
“I can always say raised near the Amish and trained as the Amish would, but that lacks punch even if it is accurate.”
Fannie shook her head and realized her kapp was missing. Mamm would be upset with her for losing another one. She pulled a white handkerchief from her pocket. She always carried two for just this reason. She folded it into a triangle and tied it at the nape of her neck.
A woman should cover her head when she prayed, and Fannie was in serious need of prayers. She couldn’t believe it was part of God’s plan for her to abandon her friend and to leave her beloved horses behind. “It amazes me how the Englisch think anything Amish must be better. We are the same as everyone else.”
“You’re right. There are good, hardworking people everywhere. If only hard work were enough to keep this place going. I’m glad my father isn’t here to see how I’ve run it into the ground.”
“You took care of your father as well as any daughter could. It wasn’t possible to grow the business while he was so ill. You had a mountain of your father’s medical bills to pay and you have done that. You will get this place back to the way it was and even better.”
Fannie followed Connie’s gaze as she glanced around the farm. Only four of the twelve stalls in the long, narrow barn were being used by boarders. The barn was beginning to show signs of wear and tear. The red paint was faded and peeling in places. Cobwebs hung from the rafters. A soggy spot at the end of the alley showed where the roof leaked, but all the Haflinger horses in the paddock and pasture were well cared for, with shining coats that gleamed golden brown in the sunshine. Connie took excellent care of her animals.
Attached to the barn was an indoor riding area where Connie’s nine-year-old daughter, Zoe, was practicing her trick-riding moves on her Haflinger mare. Connie had once crisscrossed the United States performing at rodeos and equestrian events as a trick rider herself. She paused in her work to watch her daughter.
“I have got to make a go here, Fannie. I have to leave my daughter something besides tarnished belt buckles, fading ribbons and debts. I don’t want to sell any of this land. My father made me promise that I wouldn’t and I want to honor his wishes. After I’m gone, Zoe will be free to sell or stay. That will be my gift to her. A woman should be able to choose her own path in life.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more.”
Connie shot her a puzzled glance. “Strange words coming from an Amish lass. I thought an Amish woman’s goal in life was to be a wife and a mother.”
“It is for most of the women, but I can’t imagine being so tied down. I certainly don’t want to marry and give some oaf the right to boss me around.” To give up riding horses was like asking her to give up part of her soul.
“Does that mean you are thinking about leaving the Amish? I know some young people do, but won’t you be shunned if you decide to leave?”
“My church believes each person must make that choice. If I leave before I am baptized into the faith, I won’t be punished, but I know my parents won’t allow me to continue staying at home. If I do decide not to be baptized, I was hoping I could work for you full-time and get my own place someday.”
“If your plan with the drill team works out, I sure would consider taking you on full-time. I’ve never seen anyone as good with horses as you are. But don’t give up on the idea of marriage. I can’t see you settling for an oaf. It will take a special fellow to get harnessed to you, but I think he exists and I can’t wait to meet him.”
“I don’t think he exists and I’m sure not going to waste my time looking for him.”
“If I’d had that attitude before I met Zack, I wouldn’t have Zoe now. It was a fair trade. Look at that girl go. She is fearless.” Maternal pride glowed on her face as she watched her daughter circling the arena on her horse.
“She’s really getting good,” Fannie said. Trick riding was something she had always wanted to try.
“Better than I was at her age. I shouldn’t encourage her, but I can’t help it. The girl is like a sponge. She soaks in everything I tell her. I guess I’m one of those mothers who relive their glory days through their kids.”
“Do you miss it?”
Connie paused in her work. “Sometimes I do, but that life is behind me along with my failed marriage to Zoe’s father. Dad’s illness was the excuse I used to come home, but that wasn’t the whole truth. I missed staying in one place. Zack was the one with a restless spirit. Besides, I didn’t want Zoe to grow up in a camper, always headed down the road to the next rodeo. I wanted her to have a home—a real home—and Dad gave us that.”
She cupped her hands around her mouth. “Point your toes down, Zoe. Keep those legs straight and arch your back more.”
“Like this?” Zoe shouted.
“That’s better. That’s a pretty good hippodrome stand.”
Zoe grinned and waved one hand in acknowledgment as she stood atop the back of a gently loping golden horse with a wide white blaze down its face.
“Zoe is going to miss you,” Connie said, turning back to Fannie.
“Don’t give up on me yet. I may still find a way to stay.” Fannie had no idea what that would be, but she wouldn’t stop trying.
Connie put down her brush and motioned toward a pitchfork leaning against the wall. “Good. Until then, you still have work to do. I don’t pay you much, but I expect you to earn it.”
Fannie laughed as she picked up the fork. “I would exercise your horses for free, but cleaning stalls will still cost you.”
Connie untied the lead r
opes of both horses. “I’ll put these two away. You start on stall five and work your way down. George should be here soon. That man is always late. I wish I hadn’t hired him.”
George was another part-time stable hand at the farm. Connie insisted she couldn’t afford full-time help, but in Fannie’s eyes, George wasn’t worth even part-time wages. He spent most of his time flirting with the girls in Fannie’s riding group—or any woman who came to the farm.
Connie motioned toward her daughter. “I’ll be back after I help Zoe with her technique. She’s getting flat-footed again and that’s dangerous, even on Misty.”
Fannie set to work in the stall Connie had indicated, but her mind wasn’t on the tasks before her. She still had to find a way to convince her parents that Betsy was the one they needed to send to Florida. No amount of pleading by her and her sister had changed their mother’s mind so far. Their father might be persuaded, but their mother was adamant.
If only Noah had agreed to her plan. She wanted to be angry with him, but she couldn’t. He was right. Her idea bordered on being dishonest, even if it was for a good cause. She didn’t want to be courted by anyone, but having Noah reject her outright was humiliating. She wasn’t that ugly, was she? There had been a time when she liked him—a lot. She tossed a forkful of straw into the wheelbarrow at her side.
She had liked being kissed by him, too. A lot. Jabbing the fork into the pile of dirty straw, she tried to forget about that night. She was the dummkopf for dumping her drink on him. He sure wouldn’t try that again.
“Fannie, can I talk to you?”
She shrieked and spun around at the sound of Noah’s voice, sending her forkful of dirty straw flying in his direction.
Chapter Three
Noah stared at the debris clinging to his navy blue ball-uniform pants and white socks. “Remind me to make sure you have empty hands before I speak to you in the future.”
He looked up to see Fannie’s shocked expression change to a guarded one. “Why are you here? Was there some insult you forgot to offer?”
“My first instinct is to say I’m saving one for another day, but I’m actually here to apologize and to hear you out.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Are you saying you’ll help me?”
He brushed down the front of his pants. Was he really going to go through with this? “Are you going to keep throwing things at me?”
“That was an accident.”
“Accidents seem to happen around you often.” At least, it seemed that way to him, as he’d been on the receiving end of them more than once.
She folded her arms over her chest. “I thought you were going to apologize.”
Time to get on with it. “Fannie, please accept my apology for calling you crazy.”
“All right. I forgive you.”
“Danki. Now it’s your turn.”
She thrust out her chin. “For what?”
“For calling me a dummkopf.”
“Lots of Amish folks have nicknames. That’s mine for you.”
He threw his hands in the air. “What am I even doing here?”
She reached out and caught hold of his arm. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me for calling you names. Will you help me?”
“I think a courtship—a pretend courtship—could be in my best interest as well as yours.”
She squealed. “Noah, I could hug you right now.”
He held out both hands. “Drop the pitchfork first.”
She laughed softly, a bright, happy sound he discovered he liked. Leaning the implement against the wall, she turned back to him. “What made you change your mind?”
“You were right about Mamm’s plans for my summer. How did you know?”
“Rebecca, Mary and Lillian were talking about it at the quilting bee last week.”
That the three of his sisters-in-law were in on it didn’t surprise him. Wedded bliss was catching in his family. He started picking the loose straw from his socks. “What were you doing at the quilting bee?”
“Quilting. We were making a wedding gift for my cousin. Caring for horses isn’t all I know how to do.” She offered him a handkerchief from her pocket.
He used it to wipe his hands. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“I can cook, clean, sew and manage a house. I just prefer taking care of horses.”
“I don’t blame you. Mamm made all her sons learn to cook, in case we had to take care of ourselves again. I learned, but I never liked it. Actually, Timothy is a good cook. Samuel, Joshua and I can get by, but Luke can’t boil water.”
He was stalling, trying to decide if he was making the right decision. Going out with Fannie wouldn’t be that bad, would it? He liked horses almost as much as she did. That would give them something to talk about. How would she feel about his playing ball all summer? She said she wasn’t ready to settle down, and he believed her, but what if she changed her mind after going out with him? He didn’t mind teasing her, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings if she fell for him.
She tipped her head to the side. “When did you and your brothers have to take care of yourselves?”
He realized she didn’t know the story. He launched into it with relief. Anything to delay the moment.
“When I was two, my mother became very ill. So ill that my father feared for her life. The way she tells it, there was a terrible blizzard. Rather than risk taking all of us out in the storm, Daed left Samuel in charge, bundled my mother in all the quilts we could spare and set out for the doctor’s office in town. The doctor was able to get mother to the hospital, but the storm was so bad that Daed couldn’t get back. Samuel took care of us and all the farm animals for three days until the blizzard let up. All we had to eat for those three days was bread soaked in milk with honey, because Samuel didn’t know how to cook anything.”
“How old was he?”
“If I was two, he would have been ten.”
“By the time I was ten I could cook almost anything—fried chicken, baked ham.”
“How is your bread?”
She folded her arms over her chest. “I make goot bread.”
“And your cakes?”
“Light as a feather angel food, or do you prefer dense, gooey shoofly pie?”
“Shoofly, hands down. What about your egg noodles?”
“They could be better but they won’t choke you. Why all the questions about my cooking?”
He took a deep breath. “My daed always said a man should never date a woman he wouldn’t marry. I’ll never marry a bad cook, so I won’t date one.”
She clasped her hands together. “So you are going to walk out with me?”
He rubbed his damp palms on his pants. “I want you to know that I’ll be playing ball a lot this summer. You might miss some parties and such because I won’t be able to take you.”
“That’s okay. I’m not much of a party person. Besides, I’ll be busy with my equestrian team. But we will have to see each other often enough to convince my parents we are dating.”
“Okay. I guess I’m in.”
She jumped at him and gave him a quick hug before he could stop her. Then she flew out of the stall calling back, “I have to tell Connie.”
What had he gotten himself into? Would a summer of being paraded before unknown and hopeful women be worse than a summer of Fannie?
It would, because his parents would make sure he stopped playing ball. He couldn’t let that happen. His friends were depending on him and he needed to know if he was good enough to become a professional player. God would decide, but Noah knew he’d have to do the work.
Fannie rushed back into the stall a few seconds later. “Danki, Noah. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
“We are helping each other. I think.”
Moving to stand in front of him, she gazed into his eyes. “If you truly feel this is wrong, Noah, you shouldn’t do it. I’ll find another way.”
“It isn’t exactly honest, but we aren’t hurting anyone. I’ve walked out with a few girls and it never led to marriage. There’s no reason I can’t take you home from church a few times or to a party to see if we would suit.”
She drew back. “We won’t. I’m sure of it. You are not the man I want to marry.”
“Goot to know. I was worried.”
“Don’t be. By the end of August, I’ll be ready to take Betsy’s place in Florida if she wants to come home. You’re right, we aren’t hurting anyone. Betsy wants to go in my place. She is much better at caring for the elderly than I am, and our grandparents deserve the best.”
“I see your point there.”
“Do you? Connie does need my help, too. You can see that for yourself. This place will soon be on its last legs.”
“That’s no lie,” George Milton said from the doorway. A handsome man with dark hair and dark eyes, George was an English fellow a couple of years younger than Noah. Noah knew him only slightly.
“This is a private conversation, George.” Fannie leveled a sour look at him.
“Excuse me!” He rolled his eyes and walked on.
“You don’t care for him?” Noah asked. He didn’t, either.
“He is sloppy in his work. As I was saying, I’ll enjoy riding on the drill team enormously, I won’t lie about that, but I can and will be as much help to my mother as Betsy would be. Plus, I can still help my father with his horses. I’m willing to work hard and see that no one suffers because of this decision.”
Noah’s conscience pricked him. Fannie’s reasons for this pretend courtship were more selfless than his. He simply wanted to keep playing ball.
Her face brightened. “I won’t make demands on your time, Noah. If you happen to like one of the women coming to visit, I’ll step aside and give you free rein.”
Their Pretend Amish Courtship Page 3
