“Then that’s what you will do. I’m sure someone will help.”
“Maybe.”
“Don’t give up before you have tried to find someone. Have faith. If you don’t mind me asking, why are you so beholden to Connie? What has she done to earn such loyalty? Besides selling you that pretty mare.”
Fannie stared at the creek without answering him. He waited quietly, hoping she would trust him enough to share what was clearly a deeply personal story.
She tossed a piece of bark from the log into the creek and watched it swirl away. “A couple of months after my seventeenth birthday, I went to stay with my cousin over by Walnut Grove. Maddy and I were the same age and as close as sisters. We got along so well because we were so much alike.”
“She had the same red hair and hot temper?”
Fannie smiled sadly. “Exactly. We could quarrel one minute like a pair of spitting cats and be laughing and hugging the next.”
“She sounds like a wunderbar goot friend.”
“She was.” Fannie closed her eyes.
“Was?” he prompted, guessing the answer.
“She died.”
“I’m sorry.” The Amish didn’t often speak of the dead so he didn’t press for more details.
“It was Gott’s will. Maddy was determined to try everything during her rumspringa.” Fannie grew quiet and pensive, staring into the water.
“By everything, I take it you mean things you didn’t want to try. Drinking? Drugs?” She nodded yes to each.
He stripped the leaves from a willow branch and let them fall into the water. “Rumspringa can be a difficult time for some. My brother Luke got into drugs during his running-around time. It took prison and the mercy of Gott to bring him to his senses, but not until my family had suffered greatly. My mother said it was Gott’s test of our faith in Him.”
“I remember how upset your mother was. I can’t count the number of times I saw her crying in my mother’s arms.”
He looked at Fannie in surprise. “I didn’t realize that. She always seemed so strong to me. So unwavering in her faith.”
“My father says strength isn’t about standing up to adversity with faith as a shield. It’s about being brought painfully low but rising again, each and every time, with renewed faith in Gott’s plan for our eternal salvation. Our reward is not on this Earth.”
“Wise words.”
She nodded. “Maddy had a boyfriend. An Amish fellow from a neighboring town who often borrowed a car. At night, Albert would stop at the end of the lane and honk his horn, the signal for us to slip out and go riding around. We went to dances and movies. Sometimes we didn’t come home until dawn.”
“That’s not unusual. I’ve come in at first light myself, once in a while. You still haven’t told me how Connie fits in all this.”
“The county fair was on and I wanted to go. Maddy thought it would be a dull time, but she went with me because her boyfriend was busy. Connie was at the fair showing several of her stallions. My father had purchased Trinket for me a few months earlier, so Connie and I already knew each other. She invited us to stop by the horse barn that evening and have supper with her and Zoe in their camper. When we arrived, we could hear loud music from a party going on at the other end of the barn. Connie was busy cooking, but I noticed one of her horses was kicking at his belly.”
“Not a good sign for any horse. Colic?”
Fannie nodded. “Maddy wandered down to the party as Connie and I took a closer look at the horse. Maddy came back all excited and said we had to go. Security was making the noisemakers leave. She knew the kids at the party and they were taking a van to another friend’s house. I knew Connie would be busy treating her horse, so I started to go with Maddy. Connie stopped me. She said the young men in the group had been drinking heavily all evening and it wasn’t safe to go with them. Maddy went anyway.”
“You didn’t?”
“I almost did, but Connie said her horse needed to be walked and she didn’t want to leave Zoe alone in the camper at night, so I stayed. Maddy and her friends were all killed that night when the drunk driver tried to beat a train at the crossing. I would have died, too, if Connie hadn’t stopped me.”
“Gott was great and merciful to place her there, but you chose to stay and help someone in need.”
“That’s what Connie says.”
“I understand now why you feel you must repay her kindness.” He hesitated a moment, but decided to share his story, too.
“Walter is the catcher on our team. He dreams of playing major-league ball. And he works toward that goal every chance he gets. The night we were fighting a barn fire over at Silas Mast’s place, I got into a tight spot. My coat somehow got hooked and I couldn’t get loose. A burning beam was about to come down where I was standing. I couldn’t get out of the way. Walter saw what was happening. He pulled his gloves off to free my coat just as the beam fell. He knocked it aside with his bare hands. His dreams of a ball career could have ended then and there. Thankfully, his burns were only minor.”
“Is that why you’re determined to get your team into the state tournament?”
“It’s a big part of my reason. He’s an excellent player and he deserves to be seen by the pro scouts that will be at the state invitational. And I like to play ball, too. It will be a win-win if we get there.” He decided not to share his own desire to pitch in front of pro ball scouts. For some reason, it didn’t seem to be the right time.
“I pray you succeed in helping Walter.”
“As I pray you succeed in helping Connie.”
“And I’m not sure how I’m going to do that if we have to give up our drill team.”
“Surely one of the parents will take over. The girls know how important this is to you.”
“This is the busiest time of year for our families. I’m not sure any of them will think they have the time to spare. I am almost ashamed to ask. Connie isn’t one of us.”
“Can’t you practice somewhere besides her farm?”
“If I can’t find someone to lead us, I’m not sure what the point will be. I doubt the parents who went to the bishop will allow their girls to travel to other fairs and shows with only Connie and me to chaperone them. I simply have to find someone.”
“You will,” he said to encourage her. “I have faith in you.”
“I hope it isn’t misplaced.”
“Look on the bright side. The bishop didn’t take us to task for faking our courtship.”
A fleeting smile brightened her face for a moment. “True, but if he had seen the look of panic in your eyes, the cat would have been out of the bag for sure.”
He swiped his hand across his brow. “I felt like a five-year-old getting caught with my hand in the cookie jar.”
She laughed out loud. “I imagine you got caught doing something sly almost as much as I did.”
“That’s the bare truth. Hey, do you remember the time your mother caught us throwing tomatoes against the back of your house?”
“You were throwing them. I was watching.”
“You threw some. Fess up.”
“Nary a one against the house. I simply fetched them from the garden and handed them to you.”
“If I remember correctly, you started throwing them at me. What made you so mad?”
“You said I couldn’t hit the house because I threw like a girl. I wanted you to take that back, so I showed you exactly how hard I could throw.”
He laughed. “We had some good times in our younger days.”
“We did.” She smiled and looked down, a pretty blush making pink patches on her cheeks.
When they weren’t squabbling, Noah was surprised at how easy it was to talk to Fannie. Her story about her cousin moved him deeply. He understood how strong the bonds of fri
endship could be, even with an outsider. A week ago he wouldn’t have believed it was possible, but he had come to like Fannie a lot. Did she feel the same?
“Sometimes I forget I’m not really courting you.”
He held his breath, waiting for her response.
She rose to her feet but she wouldn’t look at him. “I always remember it isn’t real. Don’t worry. Before the end of the summer you will be free again.”
He reached for her hand. “Fannie—”
She brushed at the backside of her skirt and started walking. “We should get back to the others. It’s getting late. We want our folks to think we slipped away for some time together, but we don’t want them to come looking for us.”
He had his answer. Fannie wasn’t willing to turn their game into the real thing. He should accept that.
But he didn’t want to.
* * *
Keep walking. Don’t look back. Don’t ask him if he is being serious. I know he is only kidding. He’ll turn it into a joke and I’ll start crying.
It was only because her emotions were already raw from recounting a painful time in her life. She wouldn’t cry because she liked him far more than she should.
As she came out of the trees, Fannie saw the families were gathered at the tables, waiting for the bishop to lead them in a blessing. A wave of heat crept up her face when she realized everyone was looking her way.
She took a deep breath and kept moving. Were her parents convinced that she and Noah were serious about each other? Convinced enough to take Betsy to the bus station tomorrow? She prayed they were, but realized it might have all been for nothing if she couldn’t convince someone to become the team’s chaperone.
She took a seat beside her sister at the end of one table. “What’s wrong?” Betsy asked.
“Nothing.”
“Did you and Noah have your first fight?”
“We’ve had more than one already.”
Betsy folded her hands together. “Don’t tell Mamm until after I leave tomorrow, please.”
“I won’t. It’s the bishop who has dampened my mood.”
“What’s he done?”
“He told me I have to give up my drill team if I can’t find an adult to chaperone us. Can you think of anyone who might do it?”
“Daed might.”
“The bishop already asked him and he said no.”
“Maybe Timothy Bowman would. There isn’t any school over the summer. He likes helping kids.”
Fannie looked down the table toward the newlyweds. “Nee, for I heard Mamm say they’ll be leaving on their wedding trip after the school frolic.”
“Okay, I’m out of ideas. Maybe it’s for the best. It will give you more time to spend with Noah.”
That was exactly what she didn’t need. It was becoming more difficult to hide how much she liked him. It was easier to pretend she didn’t and that she didn’t care what he thought of her.
Betsy leaned in close. “Is he a good kisser? I’ve always suspected he would be.”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Not good, then. Too bad. Maybe he’ll get better with practice. Hiram has improved with my coaching.”
“Betsy, stop talking and eat your lunch before I pour a glass of this lemonade over your head.”
Betsy giggled. “What would your beau think of such poor behavior?”
Fannie glanced down the table and saw Noah watching her. “He’d be glad it wasn’t his head.”
Chapter Seven
“You haven’t said how things are going between you and Fannie. Someone told me the two of you aren’t getting along.” Noah’s mother tried to sound casually interested, but he knew better. She was dying to know every detail of what had taken place while he and Fannie had been out of sight at the picnic the day before. She glanced briefly in his direction and then resumed making sandwiches at the kitchen counter.
“Who said such a thing?” he asked.
“Someone. Is that true?”
“You shouldn’t listen to gossip.” He took the plate she handed him. It held a thick turkey sandwich and pickle spears. He was on his way to relieve his brother Samuel on the cultivator. The forecast promised rain and they were only half-done weeding the cornfields.
“It wasn’t gossip. I’m just curious about the two of you.”
“You haven’t been curious about the other girls I’ve dated in the past.”
“They haven’t been the daughter of my dear friend. I was curious about them, I just didn’t show it.”
“Fannie and I are getting to know each other. It’s too soon to tell if we’ll make a goot match. She’s got a short temper—that’s one drawback in her character.”
His mother turned back to the counter to prepare sandwiches for the rest of the men who would be in soon. “That’s just her young age. Her father has spoiled her and let her run wild too much. She will mature into a fine, demure woman, I’m sure of it.”
“Fannie and I are the same age, but you may be right. We’re too young to think about settling down. I think I should call it off with her.”
“I didn’t say that, and it’s past time you settled down. Your father and I have agreed you can continue with your ball playing this summer as Fannie and her family don’t seem to mind, but your rumspringa has gone on long enough.”
Of course he couldn’t get out of this so easily.
“What makes you believe Fannie will make me a good wife? Because you and her mother are best friends?”
She turned to smile at him. “Because you and Fannie have been friends for ages. Even as babies you played well together.”
“I don’t remember being friends with her. I remember squabbles and her kicking my shin a time or two.”
“You teased each other mercilessly as kinder, that’s true, but a boy doesn’t tease a girl he dislikes.”
“And a man doesn’t court a girl because he’s seeking a friend. He courts her because he’s searching for a woman to fall in love with.”
“To be in lieb is a wonderful, romantic thing, but love changes over time. Friendship, true friendship, endures. I love your father, but he is my best friend first.”
She turned back to the stove. “Besides, I see the way you and Fannie watch each other. Your eyes are always seeking her.”
He was surprised to realize she was right. He was always looking for Fannie these days. Was she out riding? Was she shopping at his mother’s store or working with her father’s horses? Was she avoiding him? “She is an unusual person. I’m never sure what she’ll do next.”
“Her mother tells me she has settled down and is helping with the household chores much more readily that she used to. I would say that is a goot sign.”
“Don’t read too much into that, Mamm.”
“If you say so. Your brother Luke tells me you have been trying to find a chaperone for Fannie’s riding club.”
“Without any success. I hope she has found someone. She has her heart set on preforming at the Horse Expo next month to help her friend showcase her Haflinger horses. I never asked, but how do you feel about Fannie’s project?”
“The girls are not baptized. It isn’t a very modest undertaking, but I have no objection to it. Children should have fun while they can. Adulthood comes all too quickly and childish things must be put aside.”
“I’m glad you don’t object.”
“What does Fannie think of your ball playing?”
“She doesn’t understand the game so she doesn’t have an opinion one way or the other. She knows it’s important to me, just as I know her riding is important to her.”
“She will soon find other things that are more important, like having children and making a home for her family.”
He tried to picture Fannie in a domestic role, but he couldn’t see it. That opinion he kept to himself. His mother wanted to believe they were made for each other and he didn’t want to shatter her hopes. At least not yet.
Shame rose in his chest as he realized he would have to one day—but not today.
“Have you heard when Timothy and Lillian are leaving on their wedding trip?” he asked, to change the subject.
“They have decided to postpone it until the spring.”
“Any reason?”
“Timothy says they want to spend more time with her family and he knows your father could use his help in the furniture shop this summer, since you haven’t been available.”
He pushed back his chair and swallowed the last bite of his sandwich. “Which is another way of telling me I’m slacking on my work. I’ll do better. I don’t have to see Fannie as much as I have been.”
“That was not my meaning and you know it.”
He laughed and kissed her cheek. “If Fannie were more like you, I’d marry her in a heartbeat.”
She gently pushed him away. “Get out of here and stop trying to flatter me. If she is the one Gott has chosen for you, I pity her.”
* * *
On the following Thursday, Noah drove his buggy to Connie’s farm hoping that Fannie had been able to find someone to supervise her group. She was alone in the riding arena, taking a Haflinger gelding over a set of low jumps set up along the perimeter. When she cleared the last jump, she turned toward Noah and rode over.
He reached over the railing to pat the horse’s neck. “I don’t see the others, so I take it you haven’t had any success in finding a chaperone.”
“I haven’t. Everyone I have talked to is either busy or they don’t approve of what we are doing. What harm is there in demonstrating our riding skills?” She sounded so dejected. It wasn’t like Fannie to admit defeat.
“I imagine some people see it as prideful.”
“It isn’t about us. It’s about the horses.”
“It’s about Connie’s horses and she is an outsider. Distrust of outsiders runs deep for many Amish. I’m sure some people believe she is exploiting their children for her own gain.”
Their Pretend Amish Courtship Page 8
