Eight
Sleep eluded him. Guilt haunted him.
Respecting her command that he not go to her room, Shain stayed in his, drowning in regret, her words resounding in his head.
It couldn’t have been easy to admit she’d given up. But ultimately, she did so to give him a chance to love someone who wouldn’t damn his life forever. Kimber assumed—hoped even—that he would let her go, because he would think she was happy with her mate. She’d hoped he’d move on and love again, attempted to achieve what he’d never be able to.
A board squeaked in front of his door. He shot up. Was it Kimber?
“Shain. I’m going for a run.”
Her voice came through strong, clear. Angry. So were her steps down the stairs.
He had some talking to do of his own now. He scrambled out of bed, his foot catching in the sheet. “Wait, Kimber!”
The second he groped the door open, the front door slammed.
Hours later, she hadn’t returned. Anxious, he paced the living room.
Clouds thickened, the wind gusted, but the woods and its natural sounds were silent.
The storm gathered strength with every passing minute, soaring its cloak over the land to cascade relentless snow and ice for what they predicted would last at least two days.
She shouldn’t be out this long, no matter how mad at me she is.
He leaned his hands on the kitchen windowsill, watching for any sign of Kimber.
With a curse, he put on his jacket and sunglasses and went outside, following her tracks from the cabin through the woods.
Would he even recognize her? It’d been a long time since he’d witnessed Kimber as a wolf.
To see the woman he loved in her animal form brought awe and wonder, even to a man of the underworld who’d seen many things of awe and wonder. Kimber explained to him that her wolf’s instincts pushed out her human thoughts, but that recognition would remain. She’d always know who he was by his scent, and would be able to interpret emotions, gestures, and tone of voice.
Gods, what if something happened to her? What if the Glaciers…?
“Kimber,” he cried, his voice echoing, sending crows on branches to flight.
He waited, scanning the area, and called for her again.
Nothing.
Deeper into the woods he went, sinking to his haunches when he saw paw prints turn toward the lake. He touched them, exhaling in sorrow, then made his way to the dock, the north wind whipping across the open space.
Then, to his relief, across the lake was Kimber staring at him. Just as stunning as wolf as she was a woman, with a light gray coat that could also be viewed as lilac, white paws, a white snout. An incredible sight for anyone to lay eyes upon.
He came to the edge of the dock. “Kimber. Please. Come home.”
She took a small step, then turned her head to glance, coming back to stare at him again.
If she didn’t come to him, he would go to her. Maybe that was what she wanted. He jumped down on the ice and started to walk, when he heard the unmistakable crack under his feet.
He looked down. “Fuck.”
Kimber started to jog toward him.
When he saw the jagged crack zigzag toward her like an evil entity, he raised his gaze, eyes wide. “Don’t! Stop!”
The ice snapped and sank around her. Kimber halted with a whine. She scrambled to stay on the surface, but to his utter horror, was pulled in.
No! He tore off his coat.
A vampire could withstand freezing temperatures, but a shifter was as vulnerable as any hot-blooded animal.
Sprinting across the treacherous ice, he slid to his knees to the edge and reached in, grasping water. “Kimber!”
He went in. Despite his immunity, the frigid water hit him with breathtaking force. Opening his eyes, he found her a few feet down and caught her leg. She fought hard to swim, scratching a paw down his cheek as he tried to hold her by her midsection and force her up. Just when she broke the surface, more chunks of ice fell on him, getting in his way. Shain didn’t need to breathe under here, but she did.
He shoved her with all his strength and threw her above.
Spraying out water as he surfaced, he groped for purchase, finding the ice too broken to pull himself out. The dock… He went underwater and swam beneath the jagged formations of ice to find the place where the ice had cracked beneath his feet. With punch upward, he broke out, and used the dock’s ladder to climb out.
Kimber lay prone by the bank as he grabbed his jacket and scrambled to get to her.
Why wasn’t she getting up?
He dropped to his knees at her side. “Kimber?”
Her heartbeat was rapid, but she whined, hurt, though he couldn’t tell where.
He covered her with his jacket, then picked her up, the wind coming full force now with ice and snow at an angle. He plodded through the forest back to the cabin as quickly as his legs would allow, his soaked jeans hardening from the wind.
“You’re going to be okay,” he declared, the biting breeze whipping his face. “I have you. We’re almost there.”
As soon as he got her inside, he set her down in front of the fireplace. He replaced his coat with dry blankets and flung wood into the hearth to start a fire. He retrieved towels from the bathroom to dry and warm her more, but she didn’t open her eyes.
By the gods, what else could he do?
He tore off his clothes and shoes then went to the bathroom for a towel. He glanced in the mirror at the scratches from her paw, feathering his fingertips over them; they were already healing. If they left a scar, he wouldn’t even care. He yanked on a pair of sweatpants and rushed back to the living room, kneeling beside her.
Her breathing had steadied and he checked for any wounds. None he could feel or see. Partially comforted, he covered her back up with the blanket. Once she was okay, she’d shift to her human form.
Gods. He’d almost lost her. A tremor ran through him.
Rauth, my god of strength, hear me. Heal her, help her, wake her. Please. I beg of you. Reveal your price, I’ll pay it.
The storm raged on earnestly now, the snowy ice pelting the windows and depressing the trees. Would the god answer his prayer? Was he even being heard? Feeling helpless and alone, Shain sat in the chair and watched over Kimber for hours.
When she lifted her head and started to get up, shaking her body and stretching, he jerked to attention, relief pouring through him. He thanked the vampire god of strength as she made a circle on the blankets, then plopped down, staring into the fire.
He stayed up with her until he could stay awake no more, drifting off to sleep an hour past what would’ve been sunrise if the storm hadn’t continued to blessedly block the sun. When he jerked himself awake later on, he saw she wasn’t in her spot.
Kimber was gone.
Had she shifted and gone up to her room?
He found it empty. Coming back down, sorrow squeezed his heart when he found Kimber had simply moved to sit on the bay window facing the backyard, still in wolf form.
Why wasn’t she changing back?
“Kimber,” he said gently. “Please. I know I’ve hurt you. You can’t fathom how sorry I am, how much I love you, that I understand everything now. Please know I’ll express both in every way I when you’re ready.”
She looked at him, stared a moment, then rested her head on her paws with a whine.
Two full days passed.
Shain was at a loss. To his knowledge, she’d never stayed in wolf form this long.
He didn’t know what to do or what would bring her out of it. He gave her water, fed her, stroked her. He constantly told her he loved her, apologized over and over, telling her he wanted to her to scream at him, tell him how awful he’d been.
Nothing changed.
Not until he heard the knock on his door did he realize the storm was long gone and the sun had returned, along with a face he didn’t expect to see.
Zander Kane.
The suspicion in the alpha’s face was unmistakable. “What’s going on? Did Kimber change her mind?”
“Hello to you, too. What are you doing here, Kane?”
“Er, I called a few times.”
“The landlines are down. My cell phone is somewhere at the bottom of a lake.” Had Zander not been a friend, Shain would’ve been more concerned about why he was at his door. “Come in.” He shut the door behind him. “What do you mean, did she change her mind?”
Zander paused in the entryway, assessing the cabin like a detective. “Well… She called me, asking if she could join my pack in Louisiana. I told her I’d pick her up on Sunday, but the roads were blocked.”
Shain’s dejection deepened and widened at hearing this news. She called for Zander to take her away with him? “She probably would have met you. If it were not for this…” He gestured for the alpha to take a look on the rug.
Slowly, Zander walked around the sectional.
Kimber looked up at the newcomer, but only rested her head back on her paws, disinterested.
Brows drawn, he sank to his haunches, studying her. “I see.”
“She’s been like this for three days.”
The alpha looked up at him. “Three? Did something happen?”
“She went for a run, was gone for hours. I found her at the lake, and when she tried to cross it, the ice cracked and she fell in. I managed to get her out. But she’s been like that ever since.”
The look on Zander’s face didn’t bolster Shain’s hope. He traced his hand down her head and back. When she started to growl, he stopped. “I don’t feel any injuries. Sometimes if we’re really hurt, we can’t shift back until we’re at full strength, and we heal fast. It takes a lot to injure us. Thankfully, we’re more resilient than the average wolf. There must be something else wrong.”
“Like what?” Shain asked, his desperation clear.
Zander stood, then met his gaze. “I don’t know, Trevyn. Physically, she’s fine.”
“Then what else could prevent her from shifting?”
The alpha frowned. “Nothing. She must not want to. Have you let her outside?”
“No. There was the storm, but now… I’m afraid she won’t come back.”
“Does she have a reason not to?” Zander accused.
Shain hung his head, swallowing, but not responding.
“The tension between you two was palpable that night. I asked her what was wrong, and she said you hadn’t forgiven her.”
Shain briefly closed his eyes at his previous behavior. “I have. I’ve told her a dozen times since her accident.”
“Why didn’t you tell her before then?”
“Because, damn it, I just couldn’t make it easy on her.” He turned around, seeing his grave error. “Things happened fast. I couldn’t forgive her on the spot.”
“You didn’t have to. But you could’ve at least told her you needed time or some shit. Not treated her hot and cold. I heard you two that night Marex and I were here. Unfortunately, I was wide awake. She was making love. You were taking what you needed to feel secure.”
Shain flinched. “I know.” He charged around the alpha, talking down to Kimber. “I know that! So change back and yell at me, baby. Please.”
Kimber raised her eyes to his.
“Gods, Kane. What are my options? I’ll do anything.”
“I can try something. I’ll shift and try to communicate with her.”
“I thought your kind couldn’t have human thoughts when you transform.”
“We can’t speak, no, but we’re instinctual, can read signals.”
Whatever it took. “Okay. Do it.”
“Open the door. We’ll have to go outside.”
Shain looked at him, nearly refusing, but he had no choice.
Zander read his thoughts. “You have to trust me. And her.”
Shain reluctantly nodded, then went the door and turned his back while Zander undressed.
Moments later, he looked out of the corner of eye to see Zander in wolf form, black and much larger than Kimber. Reluctantly, he opened the door. Zander barked once, then went out. Kimber got up and followed him.
Zander returned later, but alone. Kimber was not with him.
Shain watched while the alpha transformed and walked to the front door.
He waited, searching.
Zander pulled up his jeans. “She went off on her own.”
Panicked, Shain went to charge out the door before Zander yanked him back.
“The sun, Trevyn!”
“I don’t give a fuck about the sun. Kimber!” he called.
His friend wisely pulled him inside roughly and slammed the door. “Do you think that’s what she wants? You burning to death? Jesus fucking Christ.” He yanked on his shirt. “She’s heartbroken. Give her some time.”
“Tell me something I can’t figure out for myself,” he shot back.
“I only know that she doesn’t feel loved. Or wanted. I tried to persuade her to come with me, just to see if that would encourage the change, but she refused.”
She didn’t feel loved? Shain raked both hands through his hair. Madness settling in. “I love her more than life. I’ve told her over and over. But it doesn’t matter what I say, does it? She can’t understand me.”
“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep trying.” Zander finished dressing. “I can’t stay, not that it would do any good if I did. This is between you and her.” He paused, trying his shoes. “Can I ask what happened to make her want to leave?”
Easy guess. “I—asked Gail, a human, to come over and to bring Kimber clothes. Unfortunately, I wasn’t here in time to give Kimber any heads up. She was upset when she found out how long Gail and I had known each other, assumed we had been lovers. She was wrong, but I don’t think she believed me. Gail and I said our goodbyes that night. She knew Kimber was the only one I’d ever love.”
Zander nodded thoughtfully. “Must have been the final straw. Then the next day she goes for a shift run, almost dies in the water, is in shock, but once she recovers, feels she has no reason to be human. That’s my best guess. Her wolf protecting her.” He came over to Shain and rested a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Look, I have to tell you… She can’t stay like this much longer or the wolf will take over. We’re constantly fighting our animal spirit to keep it from dominating us completely. If Kimber doesn’t change back soon, her human side will only get weaker. But, my friend, there is hope. She must still love you.”
Shain’s voice was hoarse as he asked, “How do you know that?”
“Because she’s coming back.”
He whipped around to see Kimber making her way around the trees and running over logs. When Zander opened the door, she came in.
“Or she just might want to get warm,” the alpha joked.
Shain sighed, overcome with relief.
Zander reached in his back pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. “Here. I also need to give this to you. I know you’ve been rejected by your own kind, but there are others who sympathize. There’s a vampire couple in Washington. I just spent a couple days with them. Fitz and Gaelen. They’re friends of the Daultons. Should you need or want to talk to them. They’re hoping you do. I think they’re feeling a little isolated themselves because, just like you, he’s an immortal forsaken.”
If he wanted anyone to talk to, it’d be his brother and parents, not strangers he knew nothing about. Being vampire didn’t automatically make them friends. Yet, to find people who didn’t judge would be refreshing. He took the paper and thanked the alpha.
“At least you don’t have to worry about her alpha coming for her.”
“What do you mean?”
“She didn’t tell you? Amos left for a bigger pack in Canada a few months ago. So you don’t have to worry about the likes of him coming for you again.”
“No, just the scarily obsessed omega.”
Zander departed with a look of pity.
Turning around, Shain
stared at Kimber, feeling as though his ardent speeches were not effective. “Are you hungry?” He went to the kitchen and set a raw steak on a plate.
She tentatively came over, sniffed it. When she started to eat, some of his anxiety lifted.
After sunset, he went for a walk to check the perimeter for any suspicious tracks and Kimber came with him. It was strangely consoling to have her beside him, even if in this form. He told her random things, like how he’d been secretly having the cabin built. How he almost burned the place to the ground before he’d even slept in it.
Then he told her how he met Gail, and once he found out she was underworld aware, asked for her vein in exchange for money. Gail was a widow, and like him, lonely, but never accepted payment. She brought him books from time to time and occasionally they talked over whiskey. Nothing more.
It was the most Shain had talked in a year, including the chats with Gail. He told Kimber that was what he should’ve done since the beginning: talked to her, been honest and open, asked about what she’d gone through after leaving him. Shame burned through him to realize he hadn’t tried to acknowledge her suffering, too, and he knew she had her share.
Back in the cabin, he made a bed for her in front of the fire, where she seemed to love it most, while he went to the room she’d been using the past week. The sheets still smelled of her. It was the first time he was able to fall asleep and stay asleep.
The day after was like the day before.
He let her out in the afternoon. She returned within an hour.
They went for a walk that night and he talked to her some more, telling her about his parents, how they were safe in Europe now, away from the harassment, and how his brother had apparently single-handedly exonerated Marex. He wished Aleck would call. The last time they spoke had ended bitterly…and yet Aleck continued to transfer money to Shain’s account. Had he ever even thanked his brother?
After a long shower, he shaved, ready to rid himself of the beard, knowing it’d make Kimber happy. He rubbed a hand down his freshly shaven face, feeling somewhat like his old self. In the past he shaved daily, especially since Kimber constantly gushed about his damned dimples.
Shain: Immortal Forsaken Series #6 (Paranormal Romance Novella) Page 11
