by Ella Zeiss
But she didn’t want to complain. Wilhelm had been allowed to keep this house after all, together with a few acres of land. Other people had far less and struggled to pay the horrendous taxes that had been imposed on them all. Anna shuddered. Difficult times were heading their way. She didn’t doubt that the Soviet Government would persist until no one had anything left. The once fertile fields would yield no food if there was no one to look after them.
‘What will happen to her?’
Anna’s eyes followed her husband’s gaze. Rita was sitting bolt upright at the kitchen table. She hadn’t noticed the cup of fresh milk Erich had put in front of her. Anna watched as her son cautiously laid his hand on Rita’s shoulder, trying to relieve her silent sorrow, and her heart swelled with pride. He’d never taken any note of the little girl before, but now he was looking after her with such kindness.
‘Before she died, Berta gave me the address of her sister Agnes near Vinnytsia – in case of emergency, you know.’ Her voice shook and Wilhelm stroked her back to comfort her. ‘I’ll write to her to come and fetch the child.’ She gave her husband a questioning look. ‘Until then perhaps she could stay with us?’
He nodded.
‘Thank you.’ She gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. ‘You should get cleaned up. Dinner will be ready soon.’
It was starting to get dark by the time the children were all tucked up in bed. Although Rita appeared to be quite calm, she started to panic as soon as Anna left the children’s bedroom. Anna had no choice but to sit with the girl until she finally fell asleep.
Tired as she was, Anna joined Wilhelm in the kitchen and poured herself a cup of tea.
‘What happened to Friedrich is just the beginning,’ her husband said darkly.
She shivered and buried her head in his arms.
He laughed, apologising. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you, but you know how things are – first they take the pastor, then the teachers, and then anyone with the slightest bit of influence.’
‘God will look after us,’ Anna said firmly.
Wilhelm snorted humourlessly. ‘Isn’t that what Friedrich thought too?’
Before Anna could answer there was a sudden knock on the door. She leapt to her feet and stared at her husband with wide-open eyes.
The men from the security commission almost always came at night, when everyone was asleep, to make sure that no one got away. Friedrich had been an exception. Presumably they had wanted everyone to see what they did to traitors.
Wilhelm shook his head slowly. ‘I didn’t hear an engine.’
‘It’s me, Hilde Pfeiffer,’ a flat voice sounded through the door.
Anna checked through the window before opening the door and letting the woman in.
‘Oh my goodness, Anna – what happened to Friedrich is so terrible,’ Hilde said, hugging her tightly.
Quietly Anna hugged her back. She and Hilde used to be friends, they’d been inseparable once, but then slowly and surely they’d grown apart, and today she had stood up for Rita on her own.
‘How is the little one doing?’
Anna shrugged. ‘As well as can be expected. It’s not easy for her.’
‘Of course not,’ Hilde said, nodding sadly, ‘and I’m afraid this is just the beginning.’
‘That’s what I said too.’ Wilhelm passed her a cup of tea, which she gladly took.
‘We’re leaving,’ Hilde said quietly.
‘Leaving? Where?’ Anna looked at her friend in surprise.
‘Samuel’s brother owns a small farm in Armavir; it’s still relatively quiet there. Everything has been organised for weeks. I was reluctant to go – I couldn’t bear to leave all this behind, everything we’ve built up here, but I don’t think we have a choice any more.’ Tears filled her eyes and she blinked them bravely away.
Anna nodded. Hilde’s husband Samuel was a teacher in the village. His position could be their downfall at any moment. No amount of property was worth losing your life over.
‘When . . .?’ Anna cleared her throat. ‘When are you planning to leave?’
‘Tomorrow night. I’ve come to say goodbye.’ Hilde’s voice broke. She looked at her friend beseechingly. ‘You should go too.’
‘Where to?’ There was a hint of bitterness in Wilhelm’s voice, and Anna couldn’t blame him. His elder brothers, and in fact the whole family, were gone – they had emigrated to foreign lands to escape the chaos created by the Russian Revolution. He was the only one left behind, the youngest son, meant to hold the fort and keep an eye on things until the family could return, something that would never happen now. And she was an only child. Her parents had died years ago and the large farm she had grown up on had been confiscated during the Great War. She still had a bunch of cousins, but they weren’t close and none of them would want to take them in at short notice. No matter where they went, they’d be on their own.
‘And now Rita is here too,’ Anna said with a shrug. ‘We’ll have to stay at least until Agnes can come and get her.’
Hilde looked at her sadly. ‘So this is goodbye then.’
‘It seems so.’ Anna tried to give her a brave smile, although the tears were rolling down her cheeks. ‘Look after yourselves, OK?’ She hugged her friend tightly.
‘We will. You too. And when everything is over, we’ll meet again.’
‘Of course we will,’ Anna said, sounding far more certain than she felt.
Hilde nodded. They both knew how unlikely that was.
Chapter 2
‘When is Erich coming home?’ Rita’s anxious voice disturbed Anna’s concentration. Her hand slipped on the wheel of the Singer sewing machine and the thread broke.
Reluctantly she looked up at the uneasy child standing next to her.
‘Where is Erich?’ the girl asked again.
Anna glanced at the large clock on the wall. Rita was right. Her son was normally back by now. Since the Pfeiffers had gone, the children had to go to school in the next village. If they were lucky someone would offer them a ride on their cart, otherwise they had to walk all the way.
‘He’s bound to be home soon,’ Anna said reassuringly. It was too early to start worrying.
Rita nodded and went over to the window to wait for Erich like she usually did every day.
Anna looked thoughtfully at the girl. She was far too quiet and earnest for her age. Hardly surprising, of course, considering the traumatic experiences she’d been through. Somehow she seemed to feel more secure when Erich was around. She liked to play with Yvo as well, but was always tense unless Erich was there – she obviously thought he could protect her.
Anna sighed. If only things were that simple, but she was glad if her son was able to help the girl cope during these difficult times. It was still rare for Rita to smile, but at least her pillow was no longer soaked with tears every morning when she woke up.
‘Tante Anna, there are people going into our house!’ Rita’s nose was practically glued to the pane. ‘What are they doing?’
Anna stepped behind her and looked out of the window. A fully laden horse-drawn cart was standing in front of the pretty house which had been Father Friedrich’s home. Two men and a woman were busy unloading things from the cart and carrying them into the house.
‘They’re moving in,’ she said, unable to hide the disgust in her voice.
‘But it’s our house.’ Rita stared up at her, looking confused.
‘Not any more, I’m afraid,’ Anna said quietly. That was how things were these days. You could build your own home and cherish it dearly, but you were likely to lose it at any moment if the Party decided to give it to someone who deserved a favour one way or another.
‘They’re not Germans, are they?’
‘No.’ It was frightening to think that even small children could tell the difference. Voices surged in through the open window. ‘If the language is anything to go by, they must be Russian.’
Anna knew they would need to be doubly caref
ul until they found out why the family had been granted the privilege of moving into the pastor’s house.
‘Oh, look – there’s Erich!’ Anna was only too glad to divert Rita’s attention to something more pleasant.
‘Erich!’ The little girl beamed and ran outside.
Smiling to herself, Anna watched her son ruffle up his foster-sister’s hair in the nicest possible way to hide her fondness for him from his friends. He waved goodbye to the boys who lived farther down the road and then let Rita drag him into the house.
As he came in, Anna planted a kiss on his forehead, which he immediately wiped away.
‘Why are you so late?’ she asked as he went over to the basin to wash his hands.
‘Daniel wasn’t at school today, but nobody would tell us why. So Johann, Heinrich and I ran all the way to his house after school to see what was wrong.’
‘Did you find out anything?’
‘Nothing,’ he said with a shrug. ‘No one was there. The door was locked and when we looked through the windows we saw that everything was messed up inside.’ He lowered his voice and glanced over at Rita, who was trying to turn the picture book Yvo was holding the right way round. ‘Like what they did to her place, you know?’
Anna shuddered. She could easily imagine what must have happened. It was a bad sign if things like this were going on all over the place. She was frightened for her children. Everything was too close to home for comfort. She looked at her son seriously. ‘Erich, promise me you won’t go poking around again, and don’t do anything else either! You mustn’t ever sound as if you’re complaining or criticising anything. Understand?’
‘Yes, Mama,’ he said, although he didn’t sound particularly convinced.
‘This is important, Erich.’
‘But Daniel and his parents didn’t do anything wrong, and they got taken anyway.’
‘I know,’ she said, hugging him tightly. ‘I know.’
What else was she supposed to say? How could she ever explain the randomness and horror of the world without destroying all his hopes and dreams? She didn’t want her children to grow up dreading the future, but she was afraid there was nothing she could do about it.
‘Despicable swine!’ Wilhelm was close to shouting.
‘Not so loud!’ Anna whispered, frightened and huddling up to her husband. ‘You’ll wake the children, and I don’t want them to hear you saying things like that. They might repeat the words somewhere.’
‘How is anyone supposed to keep calm?’ Wilhelm asked, more quietly now, although he was just as agitated as before. ‘Not only have they been given Friedrich’s lovely house – no! Now we’ve got to feed them through the winter because the security commission has confiscated all of Friedrich’s stores and his seeds for next year.’
‘Listen,’ Anna persisted, ‘what good are a sack of grain or a few cabbages against the lives of your family? I mean it, Willi – be careful what you say.’ She straightened up on her elbow to see his face better. ‘Erich says the commission took the Sutters last night.’
‘I know.’ Wilhelm nodded bitterly. ‘They’re on their way to Siberia.’
‘All of them?’ Anna shivered. Daniel had two younger brothers.
‘All of them,’ Wilhelm said bleakly.
‘At least the children weren’t put into an orphanage.’
‘Not yet.’ He looked at her wearily. ‘To be honest, I don’t know what’s worse.’
‘It would have been better if Franz Sutter hadn’t given people a reason to doubt his loyalty to Mother Russia.’
Wilhelm snorted unhappily. ‘Do you really think that would have made a difference?’
‘I’m asking you to be careful, that’s all.’
Wilhelm sighed. ‘I promise.’ Pulling her towards him and kissing her softly, he said, ‘I’d never do anything to endanger you or the children.’
She smiled gratefully and snuggled her head against his broad chest.
His regular breathing soon told her that he had fallen asleep, but she couldn’t rest. Again and again she was haunted by the scenes of horror that she had witnessed in the past – the dispossession of her parents, the famine that followed, the deportations. She had begun to hope that things were getting better with greater peace and stability in the country over the past few years, but now the horror was beginning all over again.
Anna closed her eyes and battled the fear that was threatening to overwhelm her. No amount of crying or pretending could help her now. No one could halt fate, but she would do everything in her power to arm herself against what was to come.
Nervously Anna paced up and down in the kitchen. Should she really do it? Or was she tempting fate if she started to make preparations to flee, planning a flight with no known destination? She wished she could talk to Wilhelm about it, but she knew that he wouldn’t take her fears seriously. He was never going to give up what he still owned of the family property, just to satisfy some whim of hers. If they decided to flee, they’d be left with nothing.
And even if he did agree, was this what she really wanted? Just before the beginning of winter, with three small children? And she still hadn’t heard from Berta’s sister. Friedrich’s death was more than four weeks ago and they were beginning to lose hope that Rita would be able to grow up with her aunt.
Slowly but surely Anna was starting to regard the little girl as part of her own family. With her quiet, cautious yet friendly being, Rita had stolen all their hearts.
Anna sighed. Maybe she was worrying about nothing. Maybe this storm would pass them by. They lived a simple, quiet life and Willi had promised he would be careful not to make any careless comments or actions, no matter how hard it was as the son of a rich landowner.
So far people had left them alone, and life had carried on after Friedrich’s death much as before. There were no protests, no outbursts of indignation. Everyone had ducked their heads and toed the line. The only difference was that they didn’t go to church on Sundays any more.
Under the Soviet regime, German churches were being closed everywhere and pastors forced to resign. There were rumours that soon the last German schools would be closed too, but at least no one could tell them what to do within their own four walls. As long as she was able, she would read to the children from the German Bible and make sure they didn’t forget their mother tongue.
Anna looked out of the window into the yard, where Yvo and Rita were chasing the chickens. Yvo’s unruly red hair shone in the sun as she struggled to catch one of the birds. A brief smile crossed Anna’s lips as she listened to her daughter’s carefree laughter, full of joy and happiness and with no sign of fear. She would do everything to keep it that way.
She’d made up her mind. She left the window and went through to the bedroom, where she took a deep breath and carefully drew the heavy curtains. Then she sat down and lifted the narrow rug next to the bed. Carefully she ran her fingers over the planks of wood until she found the right one and dislodged it. Below the plank was a small cavity from which she drew a wooden casket and an oblong package wrapped in cloth.
Carefully, reverently almost, she placed the two items on her bed and sat down beside them. Her heart contracted painfully as she touched the finely carved jewellery box that had once belonged to her mother. When she was a child, the things it contained had seemed like the most precious treasure in the world.
And in a way they were. Each piece held endless memories. Slowly Anna opened the lid and took out a pair of heavy silver earrings set with large garnets. How her mother had loved to wear them. These earrings and her grandmother’s gold wedding ring were the only things she owned that had once belonged to her parents. Her fingers closed around the delicate string of pearls that Wilhelm had given her on her wedding day. How young and optimistic they had been back then.
Last of all she took a pendant on a long chain out of the casket. It took her a moment to find the catch to open it. A miniature was hidden within each half of the locket, masterfully worked
paintings rather than portraits. Instead, one picture showed the magnificent cathedral in Regensburg, as Wilhelm had once told her. The other was a view across a most beautiful valley.
‘What’s that?’
Startled, Anna almost dropped the pendant. She hadn’t heard Rita coming into the room. The little girl looked over her shoulder, fascinated. Anna turned her head and let out a sigh of relief when she saw Yvo’s little figure running into the room. Her youngest child hardly ever let Rita out of her sight.
‘It’s a memory of the Alte Heimat – where our family came from a long time ago,’ she said in answer to Rita’s question, sighing when she saw the confusion on the girl’s face. ‘This necklace once belonged to Yvo’s great-great-great-grandmother. She brought it with her when she left Germany with her parents to start a new life here.’ When Wilhelm’s family had returned to their old country, his mother had given it to him as a keepsake.
‘The pictures are so pretty,’ Rita said.
‘Yes, they are, aren’t they?’ Anna shook her head, trying to block out her simple yearning for a safer life.
‘Can I have it?’ Yvo put out her hand for the pendant and Anna laughed as she gave it to her.
While her daughter was trying hard to pull the necklace over her head, Anna turned her attention to the bundle of cloth lying on the bed. She unwrapped it and six silver teaspoons and six pastry forks appeared, the only remnants of the family silver they had been able to save.
Her eyes searched the room. She could sew the jewellery into the hem of her coat, but what about the cutlery?
Her eyes fell on Yvo’s doll, sitting alone on a small chair in the corner of the room. It was a beautiful doll, made before the war. ‘Rita, will you bring her to me, please?’
The girl followed her gaze and obediently went over to fetch the doll.
