by Ella Zeiss
The choice of wares on offer really was very limited. A few winter coats hung on a rail, all the same gloomy shade of grey. They were fufaikas, the wadded jackets so typical of this area. On a shelf above, Anna saw hats with earflaps that could be folded down, also in the same shade of grey. Then she found some warm winter boots in a corner and felt on cloud nine, despite everything looking so ugly. Her family would not have to freeze after all.
With Lena in her wake, Anna went over to the coats and was terribly disappointed. They only had men’s sizes. She held one up to check. Erich would be drowned in one of these, but it was better than nothing and would have to do. Anna took a closer look at the seams. Maybe it wasn’t totally hopeless. She could turn up the hem and take the sides in a bit, surely. The boots were a different story; they were at least a handbreadth too big for her son. And the girls would have to do without any proper winter clothes at all.
She exchanged an unhappy look with Lena. ‘Do you have anything for children?’ Lena asked the shopkeeper hopefully, who was sitting at the counter looking very bored.
‘No.’
Anna saw a man’s coat hanging on a hook behind her. It really did seem to be the only type of coat available in the whole of the North.
In a corner of the shop, Anna took out her scissors and carefully unpicked the hem of her own coat, removing the sewn-in money while pretending to look at pots and pans on display. Holding the money in her hand gave her a sense of security. Her shopping spree would cost about half of it, and she desperately hoped she would be able to use the rest to buy things for Rita and Yvo.
Happy with what she had found so far, she took two coats, two hats and two pairs of boots over to the counter. Lena followed her with similar items. Anna would have liked to buy a further pair of boots, but there were none left. She and Lena had practically bought out the shop.
‘The next delivery should be in about three weeks’ time,’ the storekeeper told them when they asked.
Before they left the store, the two women came across some stationery items and bought the notebooks and pencils their children needed for school.
When they stepped outside, huge flakes of snow whirled around them in the wind, making Anna shiver again. Without thinking about it, she took off her own coat and put on one of the winter coats instead. It felt heavy on her shoulders and was far too big, but it was wonderfully warm. Anna smiled and put on an ushanka – one of the hats with earflaps – as well. ‘Well, how do I look?’ she asked, turning to Lena with a laugh.
‘Warm,’ was all the other woman said in serious tones before following her example.
Anna carefully folded up her own coat and put it in the bottom of the large rucksack she had brought along for all the goods they were hoping to buy. She had taken out all the money but the family jewellery was still sewn into it. Finally she put the other things on top.
Lena rolled up everything she had bought and stuck it under her arm as she didn’t have a bag. ‘Let’s head back,’ she said.
Anna hesitated and eyed the houses scattered around them. Where should she try her luck? Just then, one of the front doors swung open and two children aged about eight and ten ran outside laughing. They grabbed a sledge which was lying in the front garden and pulled it behind them as they ran along the road.
Anna made up her mind and headed towards the door, which had just closed behind the two children.
‘What are you doing?’
‘I bet their mother knows where we can get children’s clothes.’ She ran up the few steps and knocked boldly on the front door.
A woman looked out and eyed her unexpected visitors sceptically.
‘Please excuse the disturbance,’ Anna said in formal Russian. ‘We’re new in the area and are looking for children’s clothing.’
‘Have you come to beg?’ The woman made a sour face. ‘We have nothing to give you.’
‘Not at all! We’re happy to pay or swap. Unfortunately, the store,’ she said, pointing in the rough direction of the shop, ‘has nothing.’
‘Of course it hasn’t,’ the woman huffed, but then she looked more friendly all of a sudden. ‘The only thing that counts round here are men who can fell trees. You won’t find anything in that shop for women or children.’
‘Perhaps you might have a few old things that don’t fit your children any more?’ Lena added hopefully.
The woman considered this. ‘What do you need?’
‘My girls are three and six, and my son is eight,’ Anna explained.
‘Mine are ten, seven and two,’ Lena added.
The woman nodded slowly. ‘Wait here,’ she said at last, then disappeared into the house and shut the door firmly behind her.
It was a long time before she reappeared, but at least she brought two coats and two pairs of warm boots with her. ‘I haven’t got anything for the little ones or for the eldest ones – my children need those clothes themselves – but these could fit your six- and seven-year-olds.’
The two women took a close look at the clothes she had fetched. Anna was certain that the smaller coat would fit Rita. It was worn and would need to be mended in a couple of places, but it was probably the best she could hope for under the circumstances. ‘How much?’ she offered.
‘Three roubles?’ the woman said, trying to size her up.
‘Two fifty and one more for the boots,’ Anna bargained, and the woman nodded after hesitating briefly. Anna waited for her companion to finish bargaining with the woman too, before asking, ‘Where might we find things for the little ones?’
‘It’s market day on Saturday. They sell clothes and furs you could use for something. You can also buy milk and cheese there. The shop only sells the absolute essentials.’
Anna nodded gratefully. ‘One last question: do you know anyone who might need some needlework doing?’
‘What sort of needlework?’
‘All kinds – shirts, dresses, sheets. Maybe you need something yourself?’
The woman laughed. ‘Not us, I’m afraid. Do I look like I’d need a fancy dress? And I sew most of our clothes myself.’
Anna fought back her disappointment. She had been expecting this sort of answer after all.
The woman looked thoughtful, then said, ‘You could try your luck at the house of Nikolai Stepanovich. He’s the Commander of the new camp and his wife is a teacher. They only moved here from Kiev a couple of years ago and some people say they’re missing the high life in the big city. Maybe you’ll be more successful there. She’s usually in school at this time, although she seems to have been feeling off colour this morning.’
‘Where can I find the house?’
‘Just a bit farther down the road. You can’t miss it. Apart from the council offices, it’s the only building made of brick.’
‘Thank you.’
‘And good luck.’ The woman gave a short wave before disappearing back inside her house.
Pleased with themselves, Anna and Lena walked down the road in the direction indicated. The woman was right. The Commander’s house couldn’t be missed. This time Anna knocked more gently. She didn’t want to risk annoying anyone, especially if this other woman wasn’t feeling well, but her business was legitimate and she was only asking after all.
The door was opened by an attractive woman in her mid-thirties. Anna saw at once why she was feeling under the weather. She must be at least eight months pregnant, by the size of her belly.
‘Yes?’ she asked, breathing a little heavily. Presumably she had been lying down, but she sounded friendly enough.
Anna began her little speech. ‘Please excuse the disturbance. I wanted to ask if you might have any needlework you need doing? I’m a good seamstress.’
The Commander’s wife looked at her doubtfully. ‘Are you new here? I’ve never seen you before.’
‘Yes, we live over at the camp.’
‘Oh,’ the woman said. A look of sadness flitted across her face for a moment before she pulled herself together.
‘So, what can you sew?’
‘Practically anything if I have the right material. I can also darn clothes or let them out.’ Anna pointed at the dress which was straining across the woman’s belly.
‘My husband knows you?’ She seemed fearful of being too gullible and getting tricked by a swindler who would disappear with her clothes, never to be seen again.
‘Yes, my name is Anna Scholz. You can ask him about me. We came yesterday on the train from the Crimea, along with about one hundred and twenty other resettlers.’ She couldn’t quite hide the bitterness she felt when she said that word.
The woman eventually nodded. ‘You can mend some of my eldest son’s clothes to start with. Bring them back when you’re done and we’ll take it from there.’
Anna nodded, delighted, and the woman went back into the house. A short while later she returned with a small bundle of clothes. ‘I didn’t find the time to do this myself,’ she said apologetically.
Gratefully Anna took the things. ‘I could probably give them to my son Erich the day after tomorrow. He’ll be attending the school here.’
The woman nodded. ‘That would do nicely,’ she said. ‘Goodbye.’ She smiled as she closed the door.
‘That went really well,’ Lena said happily.
‘Yes.’ Anna nodded. She could hardly believe her good luck.
Together they leaned into the wind, which was getting stronger, whipping icy flurries of snow into their faces.
‘We should get a move on,’ Lena said, looking worried.
‘Yes, we should.’ Anna didn’t want to get caught in a snowstorm either.
The two women made slow progress. For one thing, their coats seemed to grow heavier and heavier with every step they took, and then the freshly fallen snow made walking even more difficult. Soon they were sinking into the soft powdery white up to their shins, very relieved to be wearing their new boots, although Anna did worry hers might fly off her feet as they were far too big.
At the same time it was getting darker and darker even though it was still early afternoon. Thick clouds blocked out the pale sunlight that had been there before.
The straps of Anna’s rucksack cut into her shoulders despite the thick lined coat. It was so bad that she felt as if her burning muscles would tear any moment from the weight. She had just about decided she couldn’t manage another step when she saw the light of the watchtower ahead.
She gave a sob of relief and turned round to Lena, who was dragging herself along just behind her. ‘We’re almost there!’ Anna gasped, and the other woman nodded bravely.
As Anna moved forward again she saw a quick movement out of the corner of her eye, followed by a sharp cry.
Anna turned to see Lena lying flat on the ground, her face buried deep in the snow. Shocked, she ran back and crouched down beside her companion. Thankfully Lena could move and attempted to get to her feet. Anna pulled and tugged with all her might to help her stand up.
‘I trod on a stone or a branch and stumbled,’ Lena coughed, wiping the snow out of her face.
‘Did you hurt yourself?’
‘I don’t think so. I just twisted my ankle slightly.’ She put her weight on it and flinched in pain. ‘I’ll be OK,’ she insisted. ‘It’s not far now.’
Although she was completely exhausted, Anna offered a shoulder to lean on. Step by step they dragged on slowly. On reaching the wooden watchtower they stopped to catch their breath.
‘Hello!’ Anna knocked on the closed shutters. ‘We’re back.’
A man looked out and eyed the two women. ‘Did something happen?’ he asked when he saw Lena, who was leaning against the wall of the tower looking exhausted.
‘Yes, she fell and twisted her ankle.’
‘Do you need a hand?’
Surprised, Anna looked at the man, who had now stepped outside his warm room. ‘That would be very kind,’ she said. ‘Our hut is the one over there.’
The man put an arm round Lena’s middle and half dragged, half carried her to the building.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered when he set her down.
He nodded curtly and went back to the tower. Anna watched him, full of surprise. After everything they had experienced so far, she hadn’t expected any kind of humanity from the guards.
No sooner had she entered the hut than Yvo’s little form came hurtling towards her. ‘Mama! Our mama is back!’ Anna bent down and the small girl flung her arms round her neck, pressing her soft warm cheek against her mother’s freezing face.
Erich joined them and gently pulled his sister away before Anna could be bowled over by Yvo’s energy.
‘Where were you?’ he asked quietly. She could hear the reproach in his voice, the fear of being abandoned. ‘We were worried about you.’
Lovingly Anna stroked the hair out of her son’s eyes. ‘I bought you a coat. And boots. And an exercise book.’
He smiled. ‘Really?’
‘Yes. School starts tomorrow. You need to get organised.’
‘Thank you, Mama!’ He wanted to give her a hug, but she held him at arm’s length. ‘I’m covered in snow. I don’t want you to get soaked like your sister.’ She pointed to Yvo, who had been stood in front of the steaming stove by Maria so that the damp patches on her dress would dry more quickly. ‘Let me take my things off, then we’ll see if the new clothes I bought you fit.’
Anna had just taken care of the children and was about to help herself to a bowl of soup when loud voices outside made her stop in alarm. She wasn’t the only one. All heads turned to the door in a mixture of fear and anticipation, and everyone sighed in relief when it opened and the workforce stumbled in.
‘You stay here,’ Anna ordered the children, and hurried over to Wilhelm, who had dropped onto the nearest bunk. Anna looked around but the bunk’s resident wasn’t anywhere to be seen so she sat down beside her husband. ‘How are you?’
He gave a snort and sat up slowly. ‘Tired, cold and hungry,’ he said, but managed to smile at her. ‘It’s going to be all right,’ he added, and rested his head against hers. ‘We finished earlier than usual because of the blizzard. Even the overseers finally had to admit that it was no use working when we were blinded by the snow. We’ll continue tomorrow morning.’
Anna kissed his grubby cheek. ‘I went to Luza today. I managed to get warm coats for myself, Erich and Rita. We’ll have to keep Yvo inside though for now, but I might be able to find something for her to wear at the market on Saturday if I’m lucky. And I managed to get some needlework. Who knows – maybe I’ll be able to get some more.’
Real admiration shone in Wilhelm’s eyes as he looked at his wife. ‘You amaze me. You do realise that, don’t you?’
She smiled. ‘We all have to do what we can. I’m just so grateful I didn’t have to go to the forest today.’
‘So am I,’ he said seriously. ‘So am I.’
‘Are you hungry? I’ve made more potato soup.’
He smiled. ‘That sounds wonderful.’
‘Well then, come on. Go and wash your hands and face, then you can eat.’
‘Wash? Where?’
‘There’s a bucket next to the fire. Just shovel in some fresh snow and warm it up. That seems to be how everyone does it. At least there’s no lack of water here, even if it’s in a different form.’
Wilhelm grinned. ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’
After their meal, Anna would have loved to curl up and get some sleep, but there was no time because she had to alter Erich’s fufaika first. She took out her sewing box and got her son to try on the coat, so she could pin up the hem. The other children thought he looked really funny in a coat that would have been too big even for his father, but he didn’t mind. He stood there as still as a statue while his mother sat beside him and measured him up.
Anna didn’t miss the envious, worried looks of the other parents, but there was nothing she could do about that.
‘You can take it off now,’ she told Erich after a while, then move
d closer to the oil lamp to get more light and carefully started to unpick the seams. She had decided not to make the coat too much smaller as her son was bound to start shooting up soon and she didn’t want to risk it not fitting him for long. Then, once all the necessary seams were undone and she had cut everything into shape, she sat down with a needle and thread and started to sew.
Working the needle through the thick material was really hard and she pricked a finger painfully more than once. It would have been far easier to use the sewing machine but she didn’t want to risk the needle getting stuck in the padded fabric or even breaking. She didn’t have many replacement needles with her and couldn’t imagine that she would be able to buy any in the store in Luza, and so she carried on, determinedly stitching with aching fingers and burning eyes, making doubly sure that each seam held tight.
At one point Maria joined her to keep her company. ‘Did you see Martha when she got in?’ she asked quietly.
‘No,’ Anna said, shaking her head slowly. She was ashamed to admit that with all her own worries she hadn’t looked out for the poor woman. ‘How is she?’
‘Worse for wear, I’m afraid. She was completely shattered from this one short day, and yet Albert told me that women are actually given easier work to do, like cutting off branches, gathering brushwood and that kind of thing. She just isn’t very strong at all and then there’s all the hunger and cold. I don’t think she’ll last long, and what will happen to the boy then?’ Maria’s voice faltered and Anna saw her wipe away a tear.
Anna knew it wasn’t just the pregnancy making Maria sensitive. She was just as deeply disturbed by Martha’s fate.
‘I don’t know,’ she said at last. ‘I really would like to help her, but I just don’t know how.’
Beside her Maria nodded sadly. The two women fell into an uncomfortable silence. It was an awful feeling to be at someone’s mercy. On the other hand, people had been helpful and kind today when she least expected it. Maybe all was not lost.
