by Ella Zeiss
Anna had never seen her son so enraged.
Right after breakfast she had dropped the bombshell. Two completely stunned and distraught girls and one angry Erich were the result.
‘She’s one of us, Mama! She belongs to the family. You can’t just pack her off to strangers.’ When he realised that shouting was getting him nowhere, he lowered his voice plaintively.
‘They’re not strangers, it’s her aunt and uncle, her mother’s sister and husband. She was going to come and get Rita when her father died.’
‘Except that she never did.’ Erich’s jaw was working hard.
Anna gave Wilhelm a helpless look. She had obviously enormously underestimated the strength of her son’s feelings. She had assumed that he would give in to common sense and his parents’ wishes, just like he always did.
‘You are my family.’ Rita’s voice shook with tears. ‘I can hardly remember another mother apart from you. Why don’t you want me with you any more?’
The expression on her face nearly broke Anna’s heart. She ran over to the crying girl and hugged her tightly. ‘I don’t love you any less than Yvo or Erich,’ she said in a fierce whisper. ‘That’s not what this is about!’
‘What is it about then?’ It was Erich who wanted an explanation now.
Anna hesitated. ‘You all heard about what happened to Albert, didn’t you?’ she asked quietly at last.
‘Yes,’ Rita nodded.
‘At school some of the boys say he’s an enemy of the people,’ Yvo added. ‘But Richard said it’s not true. He isn’t, is he, Mama?’
Anna tried desperately to find the right words. How could she possibly explain this? The two girls were staring at her with wide eyes. She didn’t want to denounce a good and honest man, but she didn’t want to defend him either. If Yvo or Rita were to speak up for him in public or tell people that their parents didn’t approve of the GUGB’s actions, it would be an excellent excuse to take them in for questioning, or worse.
‘He definitely did something wrong,’ she said, finally wriggling out of the situation.
‘And what is that to do with us or Rita?’ Erich hadn’t given up yet.
Anna sighed. ‘I think Rita would be safer living with her aunt.’
‘But I didn’t do anything wrong!’
‘I know that, my darling, but your father didn’t either, remember?’ Anna asked gently.
Rita nodded slowly.
‘And when we were chased out of our house and sent here, we hadn’t done anything wrong either. Sometimes things just happen.’
‘Will we be sent away?’ Yvo was trying to sound brave but Anna could see the fear in her eyes. She didn’t know any other life but here. When they arrived in Komi, she was too small to remember what life had been before. Those first terrible years were hidden under a blanket of childhood forgetfulness. This was her home, the only one she knew.
‘I hope not.’
‘But you’re not sure?’
Anna tried to smile. ‘I’m probably worrying too much. Everything is bound to be all right, but I do think that Rita would be safer living with her aunt.’ She addressed the girl directly. ‘Tante Agnes has been looking forward to having you for such a long time, and you’ve got two cousins you hardly know.’
Rita gave Erich a look of despair. ‘But . . . but what happens if I don’t like it there? Can I come back?’ Tears kept on rolling down her face. ‘I don’t want to leave you.’
‘I completely understand, my darling. We will miss you terribly but we’ll write to each other lots, I promise.’
‘And I can come back if I don’t like it there?’ she insisted.
‘We’ll see,’ Anna said, avoiding a direct answer. ‘I hope you’ll be on your best behaviour and show your aunt what a fantastic girl you are.’
Rita swallowed. ‘When do I have to leave?’
Anna could hardly bear her silent despair and resignation. She forced herself to remember that this was all for Rita’s sake. ‘We haven’t discussed it yet. I’ll write to Agnes and tell her you’re ready to come and we’ll take it from there.’ She stroked her cheek, hoping to cheer her up. ‘You’ll like it, you’ll see.’
‘So it’s all decided then?’ Erich asked in icy tones.
‘Yes,’ Wilhelm said.
‘May I speak to you, Mama? Alone?’
‘Of course.’ Surprised, Anna followed him into the other room. This considered determination was a side of him she hadn’t seen before. He was turning into a man. ‘What is it?’ she asked as she closed the door behind her.
‘If Rita goes, I’m going too.’
She had been afraid that this was what he’d say. ‘You know that’s not possible.’
‘You can’t force me to stay here.’ Tears shone in his eyes.
Anna took a deep breath. ‘Erich, think about it. Where would you live? What would you do there?’
He paused. ‘I could stay with Rita’s aunt,’ he said stubbornly at last.
‘You’re a stranger as far as she’s concerned. Why should she take you in and feed you? I couldn’t and wouldn’t ask such a thing.’
‘I can work.’
‘Doing what? Do you really want to work yourself to death from morning to night out in the fields or in one of the sawmills? Is that why you were the best in your class when you finished school – to simply throw away your future now?’
Looking uncertain suddenly, Erich stared at his mother. ‘Rita is my future,’ he stammered. ‘I . . . I love her,’ he whispered desperately. It was clear how hard it was for him to admit this.
‘I know, sweetheart.’ Anna smiled at him, full of empathy.
‘You know and you’re still sending her away? Why?’
‘Because she will be safer. I didn’t want to say anything in front of the girls, but you’re old enough to know. People are being arrested again, disappearing simply for saying the wrong thing – or for no reason at all. A single accusation can be enough. Your father and I both have very visible positions. A lot of eyes are on us.’
‘So what? It was all right up until now.’
Anna sighed. ‘Believe me, this decision was hard for us both, but we think it’s for the best – best for Rita. I don’t want to be responsible again if something happens to her.’
‘And what about Yvo and me?’
‘You are our children. You belong with us, and there isn’t anyone who could take care of you apart from us.’
‘I don’t know how I’ll manage, not being able to see her every day.’ His chin was quivering as he tried to hold back his tears.
Anna hid a smile. She had completely forgotten how utterly overwhelming first love could be. ‘It’s not forever.’
Erich’s face brightened.
‘Once you have completed your apprenticeship, I won’t stop you. If you really want, you can look for work closer to Rita. They need good technicians everywhere.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes,’ she said, stroking his cheek. Already the thought of having to say goodbye to him was agonising, but it was his life, his happiness. He had a right to it.
‘Three years and not a day longer,’ Erich said, and at last he smiled. ‘We’ll manage somehow.’
Chapter 13
‘There’s a letter from Tante Agnes.’ Sadly Rita held out the envelope.
As planned, she had sent a letter to the Ukraine and then several letters had gone back and forth to make sure that Rita’s move would go as smoothly as possible. Anna would have liked Rita to switch schools at the beginning of the autumn term, but had always known they weren’t going to manage that. Now it was almost February and they couldn’t delay Rita’s departure much longer.
Secretly she kept asking herself if she hadn’t perhaps been too hasty. Her fears had come to nothing so far. She and her family had been left in peace. There had been no consequences from Wilhelm’s refusal to cooperate with the secret police.
But when she reminded herself of Albert’s fate she knew she’d
made the right decision. He had been imprisoned for ten years, and Agnes was really looking forward to having her niece live with her. Erich and Rita seemed to have grudgingly accepted their fate. Anna assumed that Erich had finally confessed his true feelings to Rita and promised to follow her as soon as possible. They went everywhere together hand in hand, and she’d even caught them stealing a kiss once.
Maybe the separation would even be good for them. They were both, especially Rita, far too young for a relationship.
‘What does it say?’ Impatiently Rita waited for Anna to open the envelope.
Anna opened the letter and quickly scanned the contents. ‘Everything is ready. Your aunt has talked to the school. You will be able to move during the spring holidays.’
Rita had been keeping up a brave face over the past few weeks but it started to collapse now. ‘Can’t I stay after all?’
Anna sighed. She’d had enough of all these discussions and her own doubts. She had hoped that everything would calm down once all the decisions had been made, but she had been wrong.
‘Can’t I?’ Full of hope, Rita looked at her, obviously encouraged because of her silence.
Anna hesitated.
The next moment the door opened.
‘Erich?’ Anna uttered in surprise when her son walked in instead of her husband. ‘Has something happened? You’re early.’
‘A lesson was cancelled,’ he said happily. ‘Where’s Papa?’ he added as he looked round the kitchen.
‘He’ll be here any minute. Wash your hands and get changed while the girls and I set the table.’
A quarter of an hour later everything was ready for dinner but Wilhelm still hadn’t shown up. Anna started to feel uneasy and did her best to ignore it.
‘Let’s eat before everything gets cold,’ she told the children, who were waiting around the table. ‘Papa has to work late tonight.’
It wasn’t the first time that Wilhelm had stayed at the sawmill until dinner time, but Anna grew more and more nervous with every minute that passed without him arriving home. The sound of the large kitchen clock ticking seemed uncannily loud now, the movement of the small hand almost menacing. To distract herself, Anna tidied up the kitchen as soon as they were finished, but there wasn’t much to do, unfortunately. Once she’d wiped the kitchen table for the third time, she could stand it no longer.
‘Erich, keep an eye on the girls. I’ll be back in a minute.’
‘Where are you going?’
Yvo looked up from the book she was trying to read. The children could all too easily sense Anna’s tension.
‘I just need to check on something.’
‘You want to know what’s keeping Papa.’ It wasn’t a question. ‘Can’t I do that for you?’ Erich offered. ‘It’s cold outside and dark as well.’
‘Thank you, dear, but I’ll manage.’ Hastily she put on her warm outdoor clothes and wrapped a woollen scarf around her head and mouth. She waved goodbye to the children and slipped out the door.
The snow crunched beneath her feet. The street was totally deserted. No one went out at this time of evening without good reason. Most of the window shutters were already closed to keep the warmth in.
Luckily the moon shone bright in the pitch-black sky and the stars glittered like frosty diamonds. Usually Anna enjoyed this sight – this far north, the sky was very different to what she had been familiar with in the Crimea – but tonight she was simply glad there was enough light for her to see the path ahead. Despite her padded trousers and her heavy felt boots, she could feel the cold climbing up her legs and she quickened her step.
When she arrived at the sawmill she was completely out of breath. It stood there all quiet and dark and empty in front of her – there wasn’t a soul to be seen apart from the night watchman.
The forlorn hope Anna had been clinging to vanished. Wilhelm had not been held up at the office. She could feel herself start to panic.
This couldn’t . . . mustn’t be happening.
Willi could have gone home with a comrade – maybe they were having a beer in the clubhouse – but she knew he would never do such a thing without letting her know beforehand. Stiffly she walked up to the night watchman’s hut and knocked cautiously.
The guard opened the window crossly. ‘What do you want?’
‘Excuse me,’ Anna said, removing the scarf from her face and smiling. ‘Is there anyone still at the mill? I’m looking for my husband.’
‘I’m sorry.’ He shook his head. She could hear the mix of curiosity and pity in his voice. Anna had a fair idea of how pathetic she must seem. ‘I’ve just come back from my rounds. Everything is dark.’
‘Thank you,’ she mumbled weakly.
‘No problem.’ He shrugged his shoulders apologetically and closed the window again.
Anna couldn’t move, unsure of what to do. Should she go back home? Willi might be back by now. Or perhaps he’d taken another way home and they had managed to miss each other? How she wished to believe all the possibilities running through her mind, but she couldn’t.
What could she do now?
Boris Alexeyevich! Suddenly she remembered him. Wilhelm’s superior had invited them to his home last year. If anyone knew what had happened to her husband, it was him.
Anna set off at speed. Boris Alexeyevich had been allocated one of the new modern apartments that had been erected at the edge of the settlement. The three-storey building contained twelve such apartments, for Party officials and comrades in important positions only. One day, so they were told, all Soviet citizens would live in comfortable living quarters, but that was still a long way off.
Wilhelm’s superior was a friendly, well-educated man who never sacrificed his humanity for the sake of his duties to the Party. He would want to help her.
Anna’s heart was beating in her mouth with all the worry and exertion as she finally reached the large building. Quickly she checked all the names on the letter boxes to be sure she had found the right building and then hurried in.
The pale light of an electric bulb lit up the staircase. Anna stopped, feeling intimidated. There was no such luxury as electric lighting in their part of the settlement, far from it. Only the school and factories had electricity – people’s homes had to do without.
She felt out of place here all of a sudden. If her suspicions were right and her husband really had been arrested, what was the chance of a respected member of the Party risking his position in order to help? And anyway, it was late.
She had been about to knock on the door but lowered her hand. How would he react to her intrusion?
Anna leaned back against the wall and tried to concentrate. Maybe she had nothing to lose after all, and she wouldn’t be able to stand a night without knowing. She would only plague herself with questions, trying to imagine what they were accusing him of and if she would ever see him again.
The sound of her knocking on the dark wooden door echoed through the empty stairwell.
It took a few moments before the door was opened. Boris Alexeyevich gazed at her in surprise, but then obviously recognised her.
‘Comrade Scholz, am I right? You’re the wife of Wilhelm Danilovich.’
‘Yes, that’s right.’ Anna nodded but didn’t dare say anything else. She was sure the other inhabitants could hear their voices clearly.
‘Come in, please.’ Politely Boris Alexeyevich stepped aside to allow her to enter.
‘Please forgive me for calling so late.’
‘It’s no problem whatsoever,’ he assured her, and led the way into the cosy little kitchen. ‘Can I get you a cup of tea?’
‘Yes, please.’ Anna removed her hat, coat and gloves and gratefully wrapped her freezing fingers around the warm cup he passed to her.
‘Now, how can I help you?’
Anna hesitated. She could hear the sound of children’s voices coming from the neighbouring room.
‘Don’t let them disturb you,’ he said, smiling. ‘My wife is just putting o
ur children to bed. You know all about that, I’m sure.’
The sense of a happy family was a painful reminder to Anna of the present threat to her own happiness. ‘Do you know what happened to Wilhelm?’ she asked without further ado.
‘Yes, I do.’ He rubbed his chin pensively, then put his hands on the table and looked at Anna seriously. ‘He was arrested this afternoon and taken to the office of the secret police for questioning.’
‘What does he stand accused of?’
‘There was an anonymous tip-off that he’s been spreading Fascist propaganda and anti-Soviet criticism.’
‘That’s not true! He would never do such a thing!’ Anna gasped in despair.
‘I know that, Comrade.’ Boris Alexeyevich smiled at her sadly. ‘Your husband is a wise man.’
Anna didn’t know what to say. Did he mean that Wilhelm was too clever to reveal his true feelings? ‘He is a loyal Soviet citizen,’ she insisted.
‘I know,’ he said, dismissing the idea. ‘But this is not about whether I believe you. There have been more and more anonymous tip-offs recently, so I hear, and unfortunately some don’t quite match up to the truth. Some people seem a bit overzealous or perhaps have their own interests at heart, meaning there is an official hearing following every report to ensure that our excellent Party legal system is not misused for personal gain.’
Anna could barely disguise her emotions. The system was under constant abuse and yet no one was interested. ‘What will happen to Wilhelm?’
‘I’ll be honest with you, Comrade. I have a lot of respect for your husband. He is a very able and reliable colleague. I do believe him to be innocent, although he has ignored my advice to apply for Party membership so far. In any case, tomorrow I want to find out exactly what he’s supposed to have said or done, where and when. Perhaps it will be possible to disprove the charges made against him.’
Tears of gratitude welled up in Anna’s eyes and she grasped his hand, overwhelmed. ‘You would do that?’
‘I will try but I’m afraid I can’t promise anything.’
She swallowed and wiped her cheeks. ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’
‘Go home, Comrade. Your children are waiting for you, aren’t they? I will let you know if I manage to achieve anything.’
