by Ella Zeiss
He cleared his throat, unsure of how to attract their attention.
Surprised, one of them turned round. ‘What do you want, lad?’
Harri straightened his shoulders. It was now or never. ‘We need food – people are starving.’
The man scrutinised him. He could well imagine how he must look. Tall, bony and skinny. He had always been thin, but after the last couple of weeks, he resembled a skeleton. The clothes that had fitted properly before now hung off his emaciated body. Without braces, his trousers would probably be round his ankles. He looked back at the man without blinking.
‘There are too many mouths. We can’t feed you all,’ the man said in the end. At least he had enough decency to shrug his shoulders apologetically. ‘We were supposed to reach our destination ages ago,’ he added more quietly, and spat on the ground.
Harri stared at him in horror. That made sense. The journey had never been intended to take this long, so there were no provisions for all the people being resettled against their will. When the train was halted again and again to keep the tracks clear, the crossing that had been supposed to take no more than a week was becoming a never-ending odyssey.
Harri looked at the settlement ahead and saw a herd of grazing sheep. There would be food there – milk and meat at least. Perhaps even a warm pot of soup.
‘You don’t have to feed us all,’ he said in a calm voice. ‘Just give us the possibility to feed ourselves.’
‘What do you mean?’ The men had a glint of interest in their eyes all of a sudden.
‘Maybe someone in the village would be willing to let us swap something for food,’ Harri said quickly. An inner instinct told him that it wouldn’t be wise to mention money.
The two travellers who had been standing a little apart came over, looking interested. ‘We could go and ask,’ one of them suggested cautiously.
‘No,’ the guard said, shaking his head. ‘You’re not allowed to leave the train, but we could go for you.’ He winked at his comrade slyly.
Harri knew what that meant. They would swap or sell any food they could buy in the village for extortionate prices, but it was better than nothing.
‘Now get back in.’ The soldier nodded to the wagon door with his head.
Obediently Harri and the other two men got in. He heard the door being locked behind him and overheard the soldiers outside discussing who should stay with the train and who should go to the village. At last one of them disappeared out of sight, probably walking down the side of the train to the engine.
Because he had nothing else to do, Harri stayed by the door and stared out across the endless plains. He had to admit he was getting used to the view. The steppe had something calming about it, something almost sublime. The view seemed to clear his mind and open his heart. Even the air smelled different here from what he was used to – fresher and more fragrant. He’d had no idea such vast spaces existed, uninhabited except by nomads or huge herds of saiga – the local antelopes.
It took a while before he spotted half a dozen men walking over to the settlement with large buckets in their hands.
Harri went back to his family and stroked Emma’s sunken cheek in relief. Tonight she would get something to eat at last.
The journey took another ten days but at least they were able to purchase food every now and again – a bowl of soup or a couple of small Kazakh flatbreads, still smelling of the sheep fat they had been baked in. It wasn’t much and the rates were extortionate, but it was enough to survive on until at last they reached their final destination – Timofehevka in the northern part of Central Kazakhstan.
Harri could scarcely believe it when the order came to disembark. The prospect of finally being able to escape from the cramped space of the carriage and move about freely was the pinnacle of happiness, as far as he was concerned. Feeling curious and excited at the same time, he leapt off the train to help Mutter and his sister climb out.
The cold wind whistled in his ears and he quickly fastened his coat. It was obvious that they were halfway through October already. Harri looked around, alert. It looked as though the whole place had been built very recently in the middle of the steppe, although perhaps built wasn’t quite the right word – the settlement was still under construction.
The new arrivals were accommodated in an unfinished building. A sign at the door indicated it would be a school when it was finished. It was damp and smelled of cement and fresh mortar, but it had an intact roof and could protect them from the wind.
Once again, everyone started looking for a good place to settle down and make themselves comfortable, spreading out blankets on the ground. Harri looked around in a daze. This was it?
He could see the same sense of disenchantment on the faces of his mother and sister, the same bitterness and despair. They had been made to give up everything for this? The house he and Vater had refurbished and improved with their own hands?
All around him, the people closed their eyes in despair or buried their faces in their hands, no longer even complaining about their suffering. Only the small children ran around the corridors laughing, glad there was enough room to move at last.
Harri dropped heavily to the ground beside his sister.
‘What happens now, Mutter?’ she asked, saying aloud the thoughts that were occupying his mind too.
‘I have no idea.’ Mutter tried to put on a brave smile, but she couldn’t hide how much the past days had consumed her strength and her will to survive. ‘I assume they’ll tell us tomorrow.’
‘I’ll go and see if I can find some water,’ Harri said, rising to his feet. He hated sitting around doing nothing, just waiting for fate to intervene. He was going to use the time available to get some idea of his new surroundings if he could.
Chapter 24
They were woken at dawn the next day after an uncomfortable night. More soldiers arrived with long lists and divided the people up into groups again. It looked as if only about a third of the new resettlers were going to actually stay in Timofehevka; the rest were to be divided among the surrounding villages. When their name was called, Harri and his family joined the group of people who were due to move on again. He didn’t mind. It didn’t make much difference where they ended up, as far as he was concerned.
As soon as everyone had been allocated to a group, they set off. About twenty people left together with Harri and his family. They had been assigned two horse-drawn carts to carry their luggage, with the smallest children set on top. Everyone else had to travel on foot.
It was a long and strenuous walk and Harri soon started wondering what their destination was going to be like. As far as he could see, there was nothing anywhere apart from the lonesome dusty track winding its way through the grassland plains like an endless snake.
When it got too dark to see the road, the two horsemen accompanying them lit torches. One of them rode at the front of the group while the other brought up the rear.
The exhausted people dragged themselves on more and more slowly. Now the women and older children were taking it in turns to sit up on the carts and rest for a while.
When at last Harri felt as if he could go not one single step further, the lights of a settlement appeared in the distance. The guards led them to two small, dark houses. ‘We’re here!’ one of the men announced, sounding relieved. ‘You can stay here. Tomorrow morning you must report to the director of the sovkhoz.’ They then rode off to find themselves a place to stay for the night.
The new arrivals stood around at a loss for a moment before starting to unload their belongings off the carts and finally dividing themselves between the two houses.
In the darkness, illuminated only by the light of the moon, Harri couldn’t really tell how well the buildings were equipped. There was an unheated hallway leading to a smallish main room, which at least had a stove beside the door although it wasn’t lit. There was a small table next to the window and two beds along the walls, as he noticed when he bumped into one of them. He pu
t his suitcase on it straight away. Two beds for ten people – you didn’t need to be good at maths to know that wasn’t enough, but at least Mutter and Emma would be a little more comfortable tonight.
The other bed was left without debate for a woman with two small children. Harri wrapped himself in his blanket and lay down on the floor next to a family of four with two teenage boys. Soon enough, exhaustion overcame him and he fell asleep.
The following morning they headed off with mixed feelings to the administration office of the sovkhoz. The more Harri saw of his new surroundings, the more his hope of being allowed to go back to school disappeared. He knew he’d been very lucky to be allowed to attend the tenth grade; most schools didn’t even offer an eighth or ninth grade.
Their meeting with the director of the farm only confirmed his fears. Emma would be allowed to finish the seventh grade in the school in the neighbouring village, but he was assigned to work in the stables with immediate effect while his mother would do her part in the corn warehouse from now on.
‘You can carry on living in the house where you are,’ the director told them, as though this were a special favour.
‘But there isn’t enough room for all of us!’ Mutter protested. ‘Ten people, three families, in the smallest of rooms with just two beds and one table!’
The man frowned. He obviously wasn’t used to complaints. ‘It isn’t forever,’ he said nonetheless to pacify her. ‘One brigade is already building new houses. There are many more resettlers coming in over the next few months.’
Mutter nodded. The prospect that their living conditions might improve at some point seemed to calm her down a little.
‘Right then.’ The director smiled, looking pleased, and checked his papers. ‘You can use today to settle in. Tomorrow morning you report to your place of work at eight o’clock.’ That was all. They were dismissed.
‘I am so sorry,’ Mutter said quietly as they headed back to the house.
‘What about?’
‘Because you can’t go back to school.’
Harri shrugged to hide how much he really cared. ‘It’s just postponed, not cancelled,’ he answered lightly.
She squeezed his arm tenderly. ‘You’ll make it in the end,’ she said, sounding certain. ‘I know you will.’
‘Thank you, Mutter.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Let’s try and find something to eat. I’m starving.’
There was a wonderful smell of fried eggs coming out of the house they were passing. Harri could hear his stomach rumbling loudly. Impulsively, Mutter opened the garden gate, walked up the steps and knocked on the front door. Her arrival startled several chickens that ran away clucking loudly.
It took a while for an elderly woman to open the door. Harri noticed two small children with dark hair standing behind her.
‘Can I help?’ The woman dried off her hands on her apron.
‘If you might?’ Mutter smiled in a friendly way. ‘We’re new here – we arrived yesterday. My children are hungry.’ She pointed to Harri and his sister, who were waiting for her beyond the garden gate. ‘Perhaps you could sell us some eggs? And a pound of flour?’
The woman studied her intently, taking note of their once-good though now dusty and creased clothing, their upright bearing and neatly combed hair, then she nodded. ‘Wait here,’ she said, disappearing into the house and closing the door behind her. She soon returned with five eggs and a little packet of folded newspaper. Looking very pleased, Mutter handed her some coins and took the things. ‘Goodbye and thank you!’ she called.
She came back to Harri and Emma beaming. ‘We’ll have a feast in a minute,’ she promised.
While Mutter cracked the eggs into a pan and whisked in some flour, Harri lit the stove and soon the room was lovely and warm. Emma did her best to stow their belongings so they would take up as little room as possible and yet be easy to reach.
Once the oven was hot enough, Mutter put a separate pan on the stove, melted a spoonful of lard she had brought from home, and poured some of the batter into it. Harri was certain he had never smelled anything as delicious as these hastily improvised pancakes.
‘Mmm, that smells good!’ Richard, the only man amongst them, stepped into the house together with his wife and two boys. Holding up a milk can for everyone to see, he said happily, ‘Maybe we can stretch the batter with this.’
‘Of course we can,’ Mutter said, holding out the bowl of batter, and he poured in a good dose of milk, then she stirred in some more flour until the batter had the right consistency.
‘Go and wash your hands,’ Richard’s wife Jakobine told the children.
Harri followed the two boys outside and helped them pull the full bucket out of the well, the whole time scratching his head. How he would love to be able to wash off the dirt from the past few weeks, along with whatever parasites he had managed to acquire on the way.
The following morning Harri headed out to the stables feeling somewhat nervous. He had never had much to do with horses and didn’t know how to handle them properly. He’d driven a horse and cart a couple of times under his father’s supervision but that was all.
At least the stables were easy to find. Harri looked around the big courtyard lined on each side with horse stalls, feeling unsure of himself. A couple of youths had already started grooming and harnessing the horses. He wished he knew what he was supposed to do.
‘Are you the new lad?’ A man came over and looked him up and down.
‘Yes, I’m Harri,’ he said by way of introduction.
‘Good, then I’ll show you the ropes.’ The man walked off and Harri did his best to keep up. ‘It’s your job to collect hay on the steppe. You unload it over there and then head off again.’ He pointed to a large barn. ‘Two loads a day are the norm. Some of the lads manage three.’ He pointed to a couple of strong-looking young men, each busily harnessing a magnificent horse to a cart. ‘Any questions?’
‘Which horse can I take?’
The man grinned. ‘I don’t expect you’ll have a lot of choice.’ Harri followed his gaze. He was right, there was just one horse left standing in its stall. ‘Fat Maya’s a little slow, but she’s probably just right for you. You don’t look as if you could cope with a more moody beast just yet.’
Harri didn’t answer but instead tried to watch how the others were putting their horses and carts together. He didn’t want to suffer the embarrassment of not even being able to do that properly. The foreman already didn’t seem to think much of him.
‘There’s a free cart over there, and there should be a pitchfork on top. Have fun.’ The man strode away, whistling loudly.
Harri walked determinedly towards fat Maya. He could feel the eyes of the other boys on his back, watching him, interested to see how he would get on. Gritting his teeth, he opened the stable door. The horse snorted gently as he approached but showed no signs of moving.
Harri reached out and took hold of the bridle, pulling gently. Nothing happened. He pulled a bit harder.
The boys in the yard laughed and turned back to their own animals, clicking their tongues to signal for them to move.
‘Come on now,’ Harri pleaded with the mare through his teeth, pulling with a little more force. She shook her head and unwillingly put one foot forward.
‘Good girl,’ he said, and led her awkwardly out of the stall.
Without having to be told, she walked on until she was standing in the right position in front of the cart. She seemed to know what would happen next.
Harri sighed with relief. Quickly he buckled up her harness, praying it would hold, then climbed onto the driver’s seat, picked up the reins and clicked his tongue.
Fat Maya set off slowly. As soon as he left the yard, Harri looked around, hoping to see the other boys, but they were already gone. He swore under his breath and turned right, heading away from the residential part of the settlement. He sincerely hoped he’d come across the others out in the open space of the steppe.
Soon Har
ri had left the cultivated fields behind, jolting along the bumpy track, keeping the banks of the fields in view on either side of the lane. The dry grass was nearly waist-high. At last he spotted a trail that must have been made by the other carts, or at least he hoped it wasn’t from some tractor or other vehicle.
He hesitated for a moment but then determinedly drove the cart down the trail. Why hadn’t the other boys bothered to wait for him? Why hadn’t he asked someone the way? The loss of face wouldn’t have been any worse than if he spent half a day getting lost in the wilderness and then returned home with an empty cart.
But he knew why he hadn’t asked. He wanted to prove to these country lads that he was as good as they were. It was the only way to gain their respect. There weren’t many opportunities to make a first impression, and if that was bad it would take ages to get over it.
He reached a ridge and was relieved to see he had picked the right route after all. In the dip behind the hill, he could see the others gathering the dry hay and loading it onto their carts.
As fast as fat Maya could manage, he drove down the hill towards them and was greeted with whoops of laughter.
‘So you made it in the end,’ one of them said as a friendly jibe.
Harri shrugged and got to work. His cart was only half-full when the other two headed back again but he didn’t mind. He knew he would fulfil his quota. He could always work through the lunch break if needed.
While tossing the grass onto the cart with the pitchfork, he secretly watched the other boys. Most of them weren’t any faster or more adept than he was. Their main advantage was that they were good at dealing with horses, but he would quickly learn how to do that too.
He warmed up as he worked, and folded his jacket and placed it carefully on the back of the seat. Someone started a song and Harri joined in with all his heart. The other boys exchanged amused glances and then grinned at him in a friendly way. Harri smiled back, pleased. Most of them seemed to accept him the way he was.
