She let out an audible sigh. Probably for the best. It was a little odd to walk around naked, she figured, especially if they weren’t alone. Now that she knew there were at least six, she assumed they weren’t alone. Aisha knew at least one other had a mate, wife, whatever.
Yeah. No. Aisha didn’t want another woman seeing him in all his glory. Because glorious it was.
Out through another doorway, he stopped and waited for her to follow.
“This is our briefing room, although for now we have made other uses of it.”
Two women sat on the floor in a pile of pillows.
Aisha slid behind Deo as they jumped up from their places.
“Oh my gosh, is this her?”
Deo smiled. “Yes, Maddie. This is my Aisha.”
Aisha caught her breath as Deo looked at her. The pride sparkling in his eyes eclipsed the lust that had filled them last night.
A woman came over and gave her a one-armed hug.
“Sorry. I know this is really strange. Like really strange. Good news though, you’ll see a lot of Lilly and me.”
A smaller woman waved, almost afraid to come from behind Maddie. Aisha had some memory of the girl and how afraid of everything she was, except with that other huge guy around.
“Sorry. I’m Maddie, like Deo said. This is Lilly.” She looked around Deo at Aisha. “Are you moving in now? Did you bring anything?”
The wheels began to turn. Lilly was with the other man she’d met at her office a week ago. But who was Maddie with? Deo would most definitely be able to please more than just Aisha, but that would not work for her. He was hers.
Her heart stopped. Or rather it probably didn’t, but she sure as hell thought the world had stopped. At what point exactly did she start to think of Deo as hers? Sure she’d told him what he wanted to hear during sex, because at that point literally he could have done anything, and she would have been fine with it. Literally anything.
But right now. Right now, this odd tightness in her chest at the thought he might want someone else made her stomach churn. She was jealous.
Oh, no. She wasn’t there yet. Was she? Maybe she was.
Maybe it was time to jump ship. Or maybe it was time for something else. Or, well, shit.
“Aisha? So are you? Moving in? Be prepared to be overprotected that’s for sure,” Maddie smiled.
“Um, Maddie, was it?” Aisha asked.
Maddie nodded. “I know Lilly is with that big guy that came to my lab, but I assume you have a mate as well the way you just said that?”
She grabbed Deo’s arm, as if that staked her claim. But, yeah. No one was touching him.
Wonderful first impression. Jealousy.
Crap on a cracker. She hadn’t been jealous of anyone since like the third grade when her crush preferred a normal girl who didn’t accidentally turn her pencil into a snake. To be fair, Aisha sort of preferred that too. Maybe that was why Tan had been an appealing agreement.
He was normal and safe, and she was trying to be normal. Most days. Unless it came to her research. That was how she seemed to get the need for magic out of her system, in her lab.
Maddie was practically bouncing. “Oh, my mate is Kal. I don’t know if you’ve met him.” She was quiet for a second.
“Yeah, no he says he hasn’t, but he’s coming now.”
Lilly peeked around Maddie and finally came into full view.
“You’re the scientist? Did you ever figure out my blood?” Lilly asked, wringing her hands.
The high of knowing Deo was not a man whore, or not trying to have his own little harem was a relief. What the hell would she have done had he wanted her to share? She’d have smacked someone, that’s what would have happened.
Oh, God. She was seriously beyond lust right now. She wanted him, like wanted him, wanted him. Like that whole word 'mine’ he’d said finally meant something to her. He was hers, just as she was his. No. Not yet. No wait. Maybe yes? Wow. This was confusing.
“Brother, I hear you finally brought your mate to meet us?”
Aisha turned to the voice behind her.
Deo did an odd handshake thing and then turned back to pull her forward.
Wow. Big. So big. Were they all this big? Damn their planet had a superpower breeding men.
“You must be Aisha. Deo has talked nonstop about you. We’ve been all hoping he would bring you by soon enough.”
Words. She needed to speak words. What kind of words? She was super smart and yet at this moment freaking out about her feelings took over all logic.
“Hi. Yes.” Those were words that answered some questions. Maybe not his questions, but someone’s somewhere.
She watched as Kal sidestepped her and embraced Maddie.
Aisha’s eyes took it all in. The way he held her, kissed her, cared for her.
“Brother, I hear we have another female to liven the place up?”
Another man, this one familiar. Why did he look so much more scary here, when he was smiling?
“I’m Eadric. Do you remember me?”
A nod was all she managed.
Her lungs hurt. She couldn’t get a deep breath. She was supposed to see a lab. And a ship. Not suddenly figure out her entire world made sense, and she was supposed to give everything up for this man.
Looking up, he caught her eyes at the same time. Like he knew her already.
“Brothers? Maddie, Lilly. Please excuse me as I give Aisha the remaining tour.”
No one protested or seemed to notice her gasping.
She couldn’t get a deep breath. What was wrong with her? As they walked she finally got relief, only for her lungs to protest again.
Holding her hand to her heart she felt the darn thing beating like a determined little drummer. Only hers was trying to beat its way out of her chest.
“Aisha. Calm yourself. Are you okay?”
She started to nod, only to turn the motion into a shake.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her words winded.
“Come, let me help you.”
He lifted her and quickened his pace down a long hallway.
She didn’t care where they went. She couldn’t protest, anyway. This was a panic attack. It finally dawned on her. She had them under control. Aisha had been fine for like a month or two. No, she hadn’t. She’d simply learned to turn off the part of her that felt just like she did growing up when she scared human kids or was rejected by magical kids.
No.
Right now she didn’t recognize this world, her world, and it scared her. She wasn’t a robot. She couldn’t pretend anymore. But that also meant she had to realize something else. Could she? Could she risk having someone else to lose? Someone she could love?
A swoosh sound brought her down from the spiral of panic. Deo walked into a darkened space. As he put her down on a soft surface, Aisha realized it was a bed.
“Is this your room?”
Aisha held her hand to her chest as she tried to focus on breathing.
A light turned on, revealing Deo by a side table.
“Aisha, would you tell me what’s wrong?”
Breathing. That’s what was wrong. She couldn’t get in enough air. Her chest burned and her heart raced. She couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.
“I’m just panicking. That’s all.”
He took a seat next to her.
“Panicking over what?” he asked.
Aisha didn’t know where to start.
“Everything. Your brothers and their mates. They looked so happy,” she said.
Happy was an understatement. The moment Eadric had entered the room, Lilly changed. She looked as if the world was right, finally. She was changed from even the last time Aisha had seen her, terrified in a chair. Even then, Eadric had been the one to calm her.
None of that was really the issue, though.
The issue was that she was falling for Deo. She wanted what those two women had. No, she wanted what Deo and she were only just starting to have. But h
ow did she tell him she was falling for him? She wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready to be claimed, or mated, or whatever. She wasn’t ready to abandon her life goal. She wasn’t ready to let go of the feeling she was finally onto something.
But everything she thought she might be onto was a dead end. Always. Deo though, he was something else. She’d never felt this way before. She tried to slow her breathing and thought about the way her body seemed to find a new calm whenever he touched her. The way everything seemed to melt away into the background when he looked at her. She focused on the way her body woke up, feeling something and everything whenever he kissed her.
He shifted on the bed. Taking her face in-between his hand, he held her attention.
“I cannot fix what I don’t know, Aisha. Tell me and I will fix it.”
10
A rock sat in the pit of Deo’s stomach. If his mate was not happy, he couldn’t be. He didn’t need to be connected to her to know that there was some kind of war within her and he wasn’t allowed to fix it.
He growled.
Why wouldn’t she let him? This is what mates did. This is what he did. He fixed.
“Aisha. Let me help you.”
She closed her eyes for a moment. He could feel the tick of every passing second.
“I feel this pull toward you. You’re right. I don’t know how to say no to it. I want to be near you. But there is the other part of me. The side of me that can’t let go of my pain. The fact so many others have to lose someone. But as a shifter, I’m sure you don’t get that. I’ve studied some of their blood and I can’t figure out why you are immune to so much.”
Deo heard her words. If he could stop the world from suffering, he would. Wouldn’t anyone with a heart? He wished he could find the secret. All the innocent lives lost in senseless wars, all playing on the frailty of this species. It was all too much to understand the why. Aisha needed to understand that maybe, at some point, it wasn’t her destiny to find all the answers.
“Aisha. It’s not all on you to save everyone from pain. You can’t. If Earth is anything like the many other planets in the universe, hundreds and sometimes thousands are trying to find the answer and cures to things that plague their populations. Sometimes you can’t and sometimes all you can do is contribute. Offer. Maybe you’ve stumbled onto something that someone else could use?”
Deo released her face as her eyes watered.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
He ran his tongue over his teeth. This felt a lot like walking a very thin line over a pit of death. If he’d said something wrong, he didn’t mean to, but the way she glared at him said he’d done something far worse.
“I just meant that maybe it’s time for you to move on. Find a fresh perspective? I can offer-“
She cut him off. “You’re suggesting giving up years of research for what? To screw you? To sit and watch movies all day while you go out and do what? What do those women do all day? Anything?”
Yup. He’d fucked this up. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was merely offering to help you, perhaps offer some new resources that my planet has. One of my brothers is more the scientist and could-”
“I’ve listened to what I can and can’t do my entire life. I’ve been told what I am and am not. Don’t. Just don’t tell me.”
Deo removed himself from the bed and stood.
That wasn’t what he had been trying to do. He thought he was being supportive. Deo had meant that the world wasn’t sitting on her shoulders, because he knew that feeling. He knew what going into battle felt like and knowing the second a warrior was down, and their life would depend on his speed and accuracy. And at that moment it felt like the world did indeed rest on his shoulders.
“Aisha, that was not what I meant.”
He paced the room. He’d seen today going very differently.
“I am not telling you what to do.” Only, maybe he had. He was getting a little desperate to earn her trust. He was also starting to struggle against his dragon. Every time she was near his skin rippled with the dragon's need for her. Desperation wasn’t a good look for him. He needed to claim her, or at least get a taste of her again. His resolve faltering. A lot.
“What do you want from me? I would give you anything to make you happy,” he asked.
She looked up at him. “I want to go home.”
He wouldn’t allow her to see the hurt, but the stabbing within his chest was almost enough to have him down on his knees.
No. This was not what he had wanted. Somehow, though, he felt like if he didn’t return her home, the trust he was working so hard to gain would be lost for good.
“Yes. Of course. I’ll take you home.”
He held his hand out and was relieved when she took it. Perhaps this was a slight hiccup, like Kal and the chicken incident, or Eadric and the antidote. Or like when he first met Aisha and asked her for help, and he had to do everything he could to not mark her then. For him, he’d been pining away for his mate since he’d first caught her scent mixed with that of chemicals of her lab. But for her, a witch or human, she was only starting to feel the effects of finding her mate.
He could and would ensure that she trusted him, even if that took a few more days. He hoped.
Guiding her out of the ship, he continued to glance back. She wouldn’t look up. She fidgeted, chewed her lip, and at one point wiped away what he assumed were tears.
His tongue a sandpaper desert every time he thought to speak. He’d even reached out to his brothers who sent back little help, more confusion, and sadness. Not a single fucking male in his life knew what to say to fix anything with these females.
Great.
As they left the ship he stopped. “Aisha, I would never keep you from your work. Whatever you need or want, I will make sure you get.” He gave a gentle tug and when she didn’t protest, he wrapped her in his arms. “I just need you. I will wait if that is what you need. I just need you.”
She said nothing as he backed away, tossing the pants aside and letting his dragon slowly surface.
This time he waited to shift until she was paying attention. Her eyes widened and sparkled in fascination.
Standing tall, he let his dragon take over, unfurling his wings as he stretched into the freedom.
Show off, Deo thought to his damn dragon. Sometimes it was much easier to let this dumb beast take over. He seemed to miss all the small subtleties and focus only on the tasks at hand.
His dragon turned toward Aisha. Her steps were slow, but less cautious than earlier. His dragon bowed toward her and extended his leg. She patted his neck and although Deo was less satisfied that she appeared to like this dragon better than his human form, she at least wasn’t running. Not that she could go far in the middle of nowhere.
Standing next to him, she laid her hand along his hide. His dragon’s chest rumbled in contentment.
If only life were always this easy.
Deo’s dragon craned his neck to the side; a reassuring snuff of the air all he could do.
The scent of sadness lingered as she climbed on and Deo didn’t even really understand what had happened. Of course he didn’t. But he would figure it out.
As she straddled his neck, the dragon wiggled his hide a bit to make sure she was secure, eliciting a slight laugh. Maybe all hope wasn’t lost.
Turning around, he took a few steps and pushed off, catching the wind with his wings.
All things wrong in the world, and at least he still had the freedom of the sky.
Nothing could be wrong up here. Or maybe it could, but not right now. Aisha was with him, safe, and the world faded away below them.
Closing his eyes, he wished he could communicate with her right now. Let her know that he would take away her pain if he could. He’d do anything to allow her peace.
Deo soared in and out of a few white puffs in the sky, gaining an extra giggle here and there. It wasn’t enough, nothing would be, not until she was safe in his arms forever.<
br />
A few minutes passed, the trip being much too quick as he circled her home, watching to make sure no one was on the street. Finding his opportunity, he quickly landed.
Aisha slid down, and he instantly shifted. He would not waste this moment. Every chance he had could be his last if he wasn’t careful. Nothing was certain, even if it should have been, even if the goddess deemed this to be, it still wasn’t certain.
“May I come in?” he asked.
She gave an audible sigh. “Can I just have some time?”
He nodded. Well, it was worth asking. “Of course. Would I be allowed to come back tonight?”
Her head tilted. “Uh. I mean, like a day of time? Come back tomorrow?”
Deo resisted the urge to rub the center of his chest, where his heart was currently being a baby and pumping pain through his body at the speed of lightning. He nodded. It wasn’t what he had wanted. He wanted to fall asleep with his Aisha pressed against him. He wanted to fall asleep next to his mate after he had kissed away the sadness and confusion surrounding her.
“Yes. Whatever you need. Please, before I go though. Tell me what’s wrong, mate? I would deny you nothing, you know that, right?”
Sucking on her bottom lip, she turned her eyes down.
“Honestly? I just don’t know if I’m ready for all this.”
She waved a hand between them.
The air was sucked out of his lungs. Ready for this? Did she mean that she was rejecting him? Was that even possible? No one had ever told him of an Amit warrior being rejected. What if she did? What then? Did he just wait for the dragon to overtake him?
Well, if he would cease to exist, what the hell did he have to lose. He moved forward and cupped the back of her head as he smashed his lips to hers.
This moment would remain his for eternity, even if he wasn’t who he was now. He tasted her, flicking his tongue against hers. Exhaustion hit him. As a fixer by nature, he always had the answers. He was tired though. Right now, he only wanted to feel. Perhaps he couldn’t fix her, convince her, or reason with her. He could give one last thing and that was himself.
If she didn’t want him for what he was, then at least he’d gone out knowing he’d done his best. Letting down his people, his brothers wasn’t ideal, but at least the others would find their mates. He was sure of it. They would pass on their bloodlines.
Dragon Wanted: A Dragon Shifter Fated Mates Novel (Space Dragons Seek Mates Book 3) Page 7
