by Roger Hurn
Roop shrugged. ‘Well, me of course, but no one else as far as I know.’
I glowered at Roop, but he was finally becoming immune to intimidation.
‘Look, I’m a timid man. I’m not a gangster. If Mr Goodah sinks, I sink with him so I needed his plan to succeed just as much as he did.’ He gazed at me with eyes that were brimming with tears. ‘Trust me, Mr Kyd, I am not the one doing the betraying.’
Funnily enough, I believed him.
Chapter Ten
I was sitting in the back of DK’s Merc, with DK and a suitcase. We weren’t going off on a romantic holiday together, although as the suitcase contained a million quid in £50 notes, I figured I could have forced myself to enjoy it if we did. No, it was the ransom money and we were heading back down to Weybridge.
You see, straight after I’d finished dealing with Roop, I’d got a call on my mobile from DK telling me the kidnappers had been back in touch about where and how to make the drop. I tried to tell him what I’d found out, but he cut the connection as soon as he’d had his say.
Anyway, his driver picked me up from Rotherhithe and took me to DK’s place in Chislehurst, a swanky gaff overlooking the golf course. But I didn’t even get as far as the front door because, as soon as the car pulled up on the drive, DK came bustling out with the suitcase and we were off.
‘Right ho, Ryan, I can see you’re bursting to tell me all about your sleuthing, so what have you found out? It had better be good because I am feeling extremely aggrieved that a bunch of ne’er-do-wells are having a laugh at my considerable expense, and I am not a likeable chap when I’m feeling aggrieved.’ He smiled at me, but I felt the temperature in the car drop to minus zero.
‘Do you want the good news or the bad news?’
‘Don’t fuck with me, Ryan, just tell it straight.’
The Raj relic persona had vanished and the temperature dropped even lower. I wished I was wearing my thermals, but I wasn’t. ‘OK, I’m pretty sure that Rakesh and Garjan are the kidnappers.’
DK didn’t even blink. ‘How so?’
‘Because I found out who hired the car the kidnappers used and it was signed out to a Mr Rakesh Kapoor. Now, I have no idea how many Rakesh Kapoor’s there are in London, but I’m prepared to bet folding money that the only one renting this particular motor was your cousin. And, using my powers of deduction, I think it’s fair to assume that the guy in the hoodie and the scream mask was his brother Garjan.’
DK looked as if his face was carved out of granite. ‘But surely Aisha would have recognised them?’
I shrugged. ‘Not necessarily. Garjan was wearing a hood, gloves and a face mask and Rakesh probably had a mask and hood on as well. It’s a pretty generic look. They could have been any street hoodlums and it did all happen really fast.’
To my complete amazement, DK burst out laughing.
‘I see you’ve started with the good news, Ryan. Excellent. Excellent.’
I did a double take. ‘What’s good about the fact that your cousins have kidnapped their brother’s bride-to-be and are trying to con you out of a million smackers?’
DK dabbed at his mouth with a monogrammed handkerchief. ‘Because it shows that the brothers Grimm have finally shown some initiative. I thought they were good for nothing, spoiled idlers who couldn’t find their bums with both hands in broad daylight, but it seems I have misjudged them.’ He chuckled again. ‘Perhaps I’ll be able to find them both a place in my organisation after all.’ He beamed at me and it was like the sun coming out. ‘Auntie-ji will be so pleased.’
I shook my head in disbelief. I was amazed at his reaction. If any of my admittedly deadbeat relations had tried to rip me off big time then I’d have given them hell, but then I’m just an ordinary bloke, not a crime lord of Punjabi heritage with “fingers in many pies”. I guess those guys do things differently where family is concerned.
‘Now tell me the good news.’
‘Well, your pal Danvir is in serious financial schtuk and he needs you to make the bad guys go away.’
DK frowned. ‘This is not news of any description.’
‘No, but it may surprise you to know that a couple of weeks ago, Danny boy organised a heist on a jewellery firm in downtown Jaipur and his crew legged it with upwards of a million pounds worth of the aforementioned gems.’ DK’s eyebrows shot up his forehead like a pair of startled caterpillars. I savoured the moment before continuing. ‘And here’s the best bit – cousin Meena the blushing bride, was flying to his rescue with a fortune in hookey diamonds in her stomach. That’s why he was bricking it when she got snatched. He didn’t want the kidnappers getting their paws on the stones.’
DK was all smiles again. ‘Ah, Ryan, your news just gets better and better. My money is as safe as houses, my two cousins are made of the right stuff and now I have the prospect of helping myself to a king’s ransom in jewels! How right I was to employ you.’ He patted my knee gently. ‘Never fear, my friend, you shall be well rewarded for your efforts on my behalf.’
That sounded good to me, but there’s an old saying about never counting your chickens before they hatch. It’s not wrong.
Chapter Eleven
We walked into the living room at Aunt Shukla’s house and DK treated everyone to his brightest smile.
‘Relax everybody, here comes cousin DK with the readies to redeem our lovely Meena.’ He put the suitcase down, put the palms of his hands together and bowed to his aunt. ‘Just as I promised I would Auntie-ji.’ She beamed at him.
Then DK winked at Vikram, ‘Sorry to be the bearer of unwelcome tidings cousin Vik, but your marriage is now firmly back on the agenda so we’ll be having no more cold feet from you thank you.’
Vikram scowled but said nothing. His mother glared at him and pursed her lips and looked like she’d just bitten on a lemon dipped in acid.
‘This boy will be the death of me, Deepak,’ she said.
I doubted that. I reckoned it was more likely to be the other way round, but that was Vik’s problem. I’d kept schtum about his deal with the professor, so my conscience was clear.
Danvir, on the other hand, looked like a man with a very guilty conscience. His face was pale and sweaty and he looked as if was going to throw up at any second.
‘Dan my old friend, you seem glum and yet here I am racing to the rescue of your niece. Why the long face? Could it be that you’ve had a phone call from that little weasel you call a PA?’
Danvir didn’t answer but his shoulders slumped.
‘Ah, I can see that you have.’ DK grinned maliciously. ‘You see Ryan is a far better detective than you gave him credit for. He’s not a clown at all. You underestimated him, but then it seems to me your judgement is flawed in so many areas. Luckily mine is not.’
DK’s voice was as sharp as a whip and Danvir sat there with his head bowed.
‘But don’t fret old chum, we can still come to a satisfactory arrangement – though I fancy it will be more satisfactory for me than for you.’ DK sighed. ‘But then beggars can hardly be choosers, can they?’
Danvir was squirming on his chair and the atmosphere in the room was as tense as a nun in a brothel, but then Garjan piped up.
‘Talking of satisfactory arrangements, we need to go through the details of how we are going to hand the money over to the kidnappers.’
DK turned to look at him.
‘How very true, Gari, and how thoughtful of you to remind us of our primary purpose here tonight.’
He turned back to his aunt and put his palms together in a gesture of respect. ‘If you will excuse us Auntie-ji, I will take Gari, Rak, Vik, Dan and Ryan out into the kitchen to discuss what must be done.’
Aunt Shukla nodded her agreement, but Aisha butted in. ‘Oh come on Deepak, please can we have a peak at the million pounds? I’ve never seen a million pounds before. On the movies they always bring it in a briefcase, but you’ve got a whole suitcase! Is it really filled to the brim with cash?’
She sound
ed very girly and excited. DK smiled indulgently at her.
‘Well, you should never believe what you see in the movies, Aish. They always get things wrong. I’m afraid a million pounds takes up too much space to fit into a briefcase. I’ve got it all in fifty pound notes and even then I had a struggle to put it in this old case of mine. It must weigh at least twenty kilos!’
Aisha gasped. ‘Oh pretty please can I see it?’
‘No, Aisha, this is a serious matter and not some silly game. Your cousin has more important things to do than pander to your whims.’
DK gave a throaty chuckle. ‘Oh I think I can spare a minute or two for my favourite cousin.’
He bent down, unlocked the case and pulled the lid back like a magician pulling a rabbit out of a hat. We couldn’t help ourselves, everyone, including Aunt Shukla, all craned forward to gawp at the rows of fifties sitting there.
‘Oh wow, that’s like totally amazing.’ Aisha was glowing with excitement. I caught myself thinking, stuff the money, she looks like a million dollars, but then I cringed at how corny that sounded, even to me.
DK slammed the case shut and locked it again. Suddenly he was all business-like and no nonsense. ‘Right, you fellows, come with me.’
‘Whoa, hold up. What about me?’ Aisha sounded indignant.
‘Sorry, Aisha, but this is men’s business.’
Aisha’s dark eyes flashed and I thought she was going to make a fuss but her mother said, ‘Your cousin is correct, Aisha. We will let the men handle these things. Dealing with kidnappers is not something we women should concern ourselves with.’
Aisha chewed on her bottom lip, but I guess she knew better than to openly defy her mother. Yet DK tried to pour oil on troubled waters by saying, ‘Aisha, you can stay here and guard the case. If anyone comes and tries to take it, you holler and we menfolk will all come at a gallop!’ He winked at her and I winced and waited for the fireworks to start but, instead of going off on one, she beamed at him.
‘You got it, cuz.’
I was surprised at how easily she gave in. I thought at the very least she’d call DK a patronising sexist pig rather than simpering and batting her long lashes at him, but I had no time to dwell on it as DK marched out of the room and we all followed him.
Chapter Twelve
DK led us to the kitchen. Two of the hired help were sitting there drinking tea but DK clicked his fingers and they fled from the room.
‘Right, cuz, here’s how the kidnappers want it to go down.’ Rakesh sounded calm and confident. It didn’t last.
‘Shut your lying little mouth, Rakesh. I know you and Garjan are the kidnappers so don’t try and bullshit me.’
DK appeared to be incandescent with fury but, given what he’d said in the car, I knew it was all a bit of an act. The two boys didn’t though.
‘No, we’re not, on my mother’s head, we’re not!’
DK slapped him hard and spittle flew out of Rakesh’s mouth.
‘Liar! Ryan has you bang to rights.’
Tears and snot were streaming down Rakesh’s face. ‘He’s a lying son of a bitch.’
DK slapped him again but even harder. ‘You are trying my patience, cousin. Ryan knows better than to lie to me. He saw the CCTV of the kidnap and got the number plate of the car you hired. He traced it back to you.’
Rakesh shot one of those “if looks could kill” glances at his brother. ‘You wanker, you were supposed to cover up the number plate. Can’t you ever do anything right?’
Garjan’s expression was a weird mix of anger and terror. Then, suddenly, he bolted for the kitchen door and dived out into the garden. I tried to give chase but, since I’ve buggered up my knee, no one is going to mistake me for a greyhound. As it happened I didn’t need to put the afterburners on. When I got to the door and looked out I saw Garjan running away with DK’s skinhead driver in hot pursuit. There was only ever going to be one winner and it wasn’t Garjan. The Polish guy launched himself like a Rugby league forward at Garjan and flattened him.
‘Oh my goodness, that must hurt.’ DK was at my side and watching the spectacle of his cousin being trampled on by the massive Pole. ‘That’s enough, Tomasz. His mother will be cross with me if you break her boy, and that would never do.’
Tomasz yanked Garjan to his feet and dragged him back to the kitchen where he unceremoniously threw him against the wall. Garjan slid down it weeping like a baby.
DK settled himself down at the table and poured a cup of tea from the pot the two women had made. He sipped it and sighed. ‘You know my friends, I always find a good cuppa always makes everything seem so much better, don’t you agree?’
Nobody said a word. DK carefully placed his cup back on the saucer and then said, ‘So, which one of you had the bright idea of kidnapping Danvir’s niece? Or are you both claiming credit? Come on, don’t be shy, speak up.’
‘It wasn’t my idea,’ said Garjan.
‘Hey, don’t try and wriggle out of this, you twat. You couldn’t wait to get your hands on your share of the ransom money.’
‘No, I only wanted to help Vik. You wanted the money.’
Vikram’s jaw dropped open. ‘What do you mean, you only wanted to help me? I have absolutely no idea what you’re on about!’
‘Well, we all knew you didn’t want to get married to Meena ’cos you’re in love with a girl at your uni, so we thought if we kidnapped her and got a ransom we could give you a share of it and you and your girlfriend could run off and be together.’
Vikram could not have been more shocked if Garjan had produced a rubber chicken from his fashionably low-slung jeans and whacked him round the head with it. ‘This is bullshit! I don’t have a girlfriend at uni or anywhere, OK? I’m fucking gay if you must know, that’s why I don’t want to get married. All right? Happy now?’
I had a sudden flash back to Vikram and Dr Hunter in the café and I wondered if money really was Hunter’s motive for helping Vikram, or if something far more personal was going on between them? Whatever it was, it didn’t matter to the outcome of the case, so it was none of my business and I let it go. Meanwhile, Vikram was clenching and unclenching his fists like a boxer ready to take on all comers. Garjan and Rakesh looked stunned, but DK just poured himself some more tea.
‘I don’t suppose there are any chocolate digestives are there?’
Nobody answered him. He took another sip of tea then sighed. ‘I don’t give a flying fig about your sexual preferences, Vikram, but if I say you’re getting married you are getting married. How you conduct yourself with your wife when you are behind closed doors is of no concern mine. But you will not embarrass me in public, is that understood!’
Vikram bared his teeth and red spots burned high on his suddenly pallid cheeks. When he spoke his voice was shaking. ‘Whatever you say, cousin.’
DK sucked on his teeth and stared at him for a long moment. Then he nodded and turned his attention back to the brothers Grimm.
‘What were you planning to do with Meena if your harebrained scheme had actually succeeded and you got the money?’
‘Let her go. It was never part of the plan to hurt her.’ Rakesh spoke in the soft, quiet voice of someone who knows he is in deep trouble, but is hoping that maybe, if he acts humble, he may just get out of it with his skin intact.
I figured it was time to take a hand. ‘So who else was in this with you? I mean, someone made the call when we were all here in the house to give you the ransom demand and to text you the photo of Meena. So who is it?’
The two boys exchanged a glance. Then Rakesh said, ‘You are so not going to like this, cuz.’
DK raised his eyebrows quizzically. ‘Really? Well, why don’t you tell me and then we’ll see.’
‘It was Aisha, your favourite cousin.’ Garjan spat the name out defiantly.
DK laughed. ‘Stop talking nonsense. As Ryan said, we were all together in the house when the call came in. I remember Aisha was so relieved when she saw the photo of Meena holding
up that newspaper. In fact, she was standing next to me and gave me a hug she was so delighted, so she can’t be your accomplice.’ I was about to speak but DK was in full flow. ‘Listen to me you idiots, I’m not cross with you. I’m delighted that you’ve shown some gumption at last. You can have a bright future working for me. Look, I need clever people from my own family in my organisation. I don’t have any sons of my own, but you boys can be the next best thing. So stop playing games now and tell me who your fucking accomplice really is.’
Garjan and Rakesh looked helplessly at each other so I cleared my throat and went for it. ‘I think they are telling you the truth, DK. Aisha wasn’t in the room when the call came in. Remember your auntie sent her to go and talk to Vikram after he made his speech about not wanting to get married?’ I glanced over at Vikram. ‘Did Aisha come and see you then?’
He shook his head. ‘No, she never came near me.’
I nodded. ‘Right, and she didn’t come back into the room until just after the picture of Meena pitched up on Rakesh’s mobile. It would have been a piece of cake for her to sneak back in when we were all crowded round Rakesh and his phone.’ I breathed in deeply and looked DK straight in the eye. I just hoped he wouldn’t shoot the messenger. ‘Sorry, DK, but these two herberts are telling you the truth.’
Chapter Thirteen
DK did not take the news well. He sat there like some large dark thundercloud that was about to burst into a furious lightning-filled storm of biblical proportions. But when he finally spoke he had himself under control. ‘What did Aisha hope to gain from this deception?
It was Rakesh who answered. ‘She and Meena had become Facebook friends, OK? Meena told her that it was obvious Vikram didn’t want to marry her and she definitely didn’t want to get married to Vik, so Aisha hatched up this plan that was a win-win situation for all concerned.’
Garjan butted in. ‘Yeah, that’s right. Aish said that Vik and his girlfriend could have two hundred grand to run off and she, Meena, me and Rakesh could split the rest and have two hundred grand each as well. She said you could afford it, DK, so it wasn’t like anybody was getting hurt or anything.’
