Rory leaned forward and used his finger to make her look at him. “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
“I was just stating the facts.”
“I see.” He glanced up as the song changed. “It’s thinned out a little now. Would ye like to dance?”
“Do you think my things will be okay?”
“We’ll stay back here. Make sure no one messes with them.”
Rory stood and held out his hand for her. She took it, and he pulled her up and tugged her to him. He wrapped one arm around her waist and the other around her shoulders.
“I think you just wanted to hug me.” She smiled as she put her arms around his neck.
He shrugged. “I’ve got no comeback.”
They swayed to the music the length of the song. The next song that played was way too fast, so they took their seat again.
“Are ye hungry?” he asked.
“Yeah, but it’s really kinda loud in here.”
“Let’s get somethin’ to go. I’ve got a place that should be much quieter than this.”
“Okay.”
CHAPTER 22
Rory took a deep breath of the cool night air. “This is much better.”
Paige finished off her fries and nodded. “Much, much better. My ears are still ringing.”
“I liked the dancin’. That was fun.”
“It was, but this park is nice. Plus, the clouds have dissipated. It’s a really nice night, other than the whole “need a coat or you’ll freeze to death” part. I think the tip of my nose is frozen.”
The new moon made him thankful for the lampposts in the park. He could see her cute little button nose and the tip of it looking like Rudolph. He wasn’t sure what was going on with him. He’d planned on keeping his cool. Then they got to the pub, and he was sitting next to her. Without warning, his mouth took the lead, and he was saying anything and everything like he’d lost his filter.
“It does look a bit red. Do ye want to go to the house?” he asked.
She sniffed and stuck her face in her coat, leaving only her eyes above the collar. “No.” It came out muffled.
“It is a nice night, but ye dinnae have to freeze, ye know.”
“I know, but…”
He narrowed his eyes. If she was thinking the same thing he was, then she didn’t want the night to end either. Rory leaned over, circled his arms around her waist, and pulled her close. “I don’t want the night to end either.”
“No, I really don’t,” she said and dropped the collar of her coat. “Let me go throw this trash away, and I’ll come back.”
“I can do that.”
“I know, but I’ll do it.”
Paige gathered up their empty containers and dumped them in a trash bin a few feet away. When she returned, she sat on the tabletop, looking down at him with her hands stuffed in her pockets. “So, did you and Alana ever come to Edinburgh?”
The knife wedged between his ribs. “No,” he whispered.
“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. Tell me good stories about her.”
Rory looked up. “Why do ye want to know about her?”
“I like you, and I figure since she’s part of you, maybe I’d have liked her too.”
His jaw dropped. No other woman had ever said anything like that to him before. “She was good on a horse. We’d take rides in Rosegail Bridge, disappear for hours. She loved decoratin’. I dinnae know how she did it, but she could take a room and turn it into somethin’ magical.”
Paige smiled. “She’s the one who decorated your flat, isn’t she?”
“Aye.” The lump in his throat was making it difficult to speak.
“I figured. The house here doesn’t have that feel to it. She was very good at making a room feel warm and cozy.”
Rory nodded. His chest tightened. Talking about Alana was hard. Not that he didn’t love her or want to remember her, but talking about her and using past tense made the loss of her hit home every time. Plus, it made moving on impossible.
Paige leaned down and cupped his cheek. “It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to grieve for someone long after they’re gone. It’s okay to still love her and to continue to hold her in your heart.”
His heart was killing him. “But I’m supposed to move on. How can I do that when I’m holdin’ on to her with two hands and a white-knuckled grip?”
“You can move on and still love someone. What would you have done if, for some reason, you had broken up after high school?”
“I’d have always loved her. She was my first everythin’, but I’d have gone on.”
“Okay. And the only difference here is that you didn’t get a choice about losing her, but you get a choice to love her and still live your life. You get to remember all the good things about her. I wish I had that. Tyler took things from me and never even looked back. At least you know she died loving you.”
He nodded as he looked down. Paige was right. If he and Alana had broken up, he’d have moved on. Yes, he’d planned a life with her, but he’d done that long before asking her to marry him. What did asking her to marry him change other than making a promise to love her in sickness and in health? And he hadn’t been given that chance. Yes, he loved her. Yes, he’d probably die loving her. But he didn’t have walk through life like a zombie. He could live and still keep her memory close to his heart. “Thank ye for that.”
“I really didn’t do anything.”
Rory looked up and locked eyes with her. “Aye, ye did. I thought I had to wash my hands of Alana to move on, but I dinnae. I can love her, remember her, and live my life without feelin’ guilty.”
Paige sat up and tilted her head. “Why would you feel guilty?”
He didn’t understand the question. “Because if I really loved her, I’d continue to hold on to her. I’d grieve the rest of my life.”
“No, you loved her. You’ve grieved for her. Now, you can hold on to her like a balloon. You can hold on to the memory without the weight.”
“I’m glad I asked ye out again.”
“I am too. Although, I’m still wondering if this was a mistake.”
He blinked. “Why?”
Paige leaned down until she was inches from him. The intensity in her eyes held him in a trance. “Because I’ve started something with you, and the idea of ending it bothers me. I came here to sightsee and watch my sister get married. You’ve added something to my itinerary I wasn’t planning on. If Angus is half the man you are, my sister is marrying a flat-out wonderful man. I want to hate him for moving my sister to this country, and I’m losing the ability to do that.”
Rory’s heart pounded. Her lips were so close to his. All he’d have to do was lean forward. He hadn’t kissed a woman since Alana. Each time he’d tried, he’d pulled back and left with nothing but heartache. But the only ache he had at the moment was the one wanting to kiss Paige.
“I’d really like to kiss you,” Paige whispered, “but I’m—”
Rory took the moment and kissed her. Her lips were soft and cool as he brushed his lips against hers. At first, he thought maybe he’d taken more than he should, but then she wrapped her arms around his neck.
He tugged her to him, and she was sitting on his lap. Her hands slid up his neck and into his hair. The way she was kissing him back made him glad he was sitting down. Stopping was not on his mind until she broke the kiss and pressed her forehead to his.
Shallow breaths hit his cheeks. “I think maybe we crossed a line tonight.”
“Ye think so.” His breathing wasn’t any less erratic than hers.
She moaned softly. “Yeah, but…” Her lips grazed his cheek, down to his jawline, and over to his mouth.
He held her tightly against him. They’d crossed a line. He knew it. She was adamant about not moving to Scotland. He couldn’t leave his family. What was he doing? He was the one that had said they should take things slowly, and now he was wondering if he’d made a mistake too.
> She pulled away again. “This is a mistake.” The words came out just above a whisper.
“Then maybe we should stop.”
“We should.”
Before he could release her, she kissed him again. “Last one.” Gasping for air, she rested her cheek against his.
“I certainly hope nae,” he said, just as breathless.
Paige leaned back and ran her fingers across his lips. “We should probably get back to the house.”
“Do I get to kiss ye goodnight at the door?”
“We shouldn’t, but yes, you can,” she whispered.
CHAPTER 23
P aige closed her eyes as she stepped into the bedroom and shut the door. Rory had kissed her enough for a few years’ worth of goodnights. She covered her lips with her hand. The feel of his lips, the nearness of him—she could melt through the floor just thinking about him. Her heart was still beating erratically, and the light feeling she’d had through the night continued to bubble inside her.
The lamp flicked on, and Penelope and Sarah sat with their backs against the wall, giving her Cheshire grins in pajamas and holding pillows as they both giggled like high school girls. Paige rolled her eyes. Great. She inwardly groaned.
“That must have been some date.”
“Uh…” More like the best date ever.
Sarah giggled and looked at Penelope. “Oh, yeah it was.”
“It was a mistake.” A huge honkin’ horrible mistake. Because now she knew what it was like to kiss him, and she didn’t want to stop.
Penelope’s eyebrows lifted. “Based on that satisfied look, I’d say it wasn’t a mistake.”
“I kissed him. I kissed him and crossed a line, and now I can’t take it back.”
“You kissed him?”
“Well, he kissed me, and then I kissed him, and then I kissed him again. He was sitting there, looking at me with those amber eyes, and he was inches away. And…next thing I know, we’re kissing.”
Penelope scooted to the edge of her bed as Paige sat on the edge of hers. “And why is it such a bad thing? I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and you look at him the same way.”
“It’s a horrible thing. I’m not moving to Scotland. I’m not. I can’t. I won’t.”
Sarah narrowed her eyes. “Why?”
Why? “Because my home is in Florida. My life is in Florida.”
Penelope shared a look with Sarah.
“What?” asked Paige.
“You are terrified. You’re using moving as an excuse to keep him at arm’s length. You see potential here, and instead of embracing it, you’re doing your best to run,” Penelope said.
Paige stood. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Sarah and I have a business together. Unlike you, I can’t just sell my business. Remember? I have to work for a living because I was stupid enough to fall in love in the first place. And, yeah, I’ve decided to let it go, but that doesn’t mean I’m stupid enough to do it again.”
“But—”
“I’m sweaty, sticky, and tired. I’m going to go take a bath, and then I’m going to sleep. And I’m not talking about this anymore. Got it?”
“Paige…” Sarah scooted to the edge of the bed next to Penelope.
“No. Done. You two got it? You want me to stay for this wedding? This is the end of this discussion. Tomorrow, I’m putting an end to whatever this thing is with Rory, and I’m going back to sightseeing and attending a wedding.” Paige jerked her coat off and walked out of the room.
With the bathroom door locked behind her, she collapsed onto the side of the tub and started the water. As soon as the first drop fell, the tears poured down her cheeks. She put her head in her hands, and her whole body trembled.
It was for the best. She’d rip that bandage off and suffer through the rest of her stay in Scotland. That would be the fair thing to do. The right thing to do. For him and for her. She knew starting something with him was wrong. She’d felt it all the way to her core.
Paige peeled her clothes off and slipped into the tub. She didn’t know what she was thinking, agreeing to go on a date with him in the first place. Who was she kidding? It didn’t take a second to know what she’d been thinking. She’d been thinking he was adorable. Then she’d been thinking he was fun to be around. He made her laugh, and he made her feel alive. She liked his warmth and his comfort.
When he held her, she felt at home. There was a connection with him so strong it made her hurt to think of walking away. She wasn’t Penelope, though, uprooting herself and moving to a foreign country. Why? For a man?
Finished with her bath, she pulled on her robe and trudged back to the room. The lamplight was still on, but Sarah was gone, and Penelope was asleep facing the wall. Paige snuggled into her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin.
Penelope cleared her throat. “You know, I get being scared. I get the fear of leaving everything you’ve ever known behind. I understand it. Maybe instead of focusing on what you’d be leaving, maybe focus on what you’d be gaining. Even if a relationship with him didn’t work, we’ve got the potential to be a part of a great family. Nieces, nephews, aunts, and uncles…and all of them ready and willing to accept and love us.” The light clicked off. “I don’t know. I’m just thinking out loud. Just because I’m moving here doesn’t mean I’m not terrified. I love Angus, and I want to be with him. That part isn’t scary, but moving sure is. Sometimes, you just gotta have a little faith that things work out the way they’re supposed to.”
Paige squeezed her eyes shut and clamped her mouth. There weren’t enough sheep on the planet to count. Her mind was awhirl with thoughts and feelings about someone she’d just met.
She rolled onto her side and stared out at the pitch dark of the room. Her neat little life was coming undone, and so was she. Before she drifted off, she made herself a promise. She’d tell Rory they needed to stop. She’d spend the rest of the time keeping her distance and keeping them both from getting hurt, which was inevitable if they kept going.
It was the kind thing to do. But for who?
CHAPTER 24
Rory rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hand as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He’d tossed and turned, and now the little clock on his bedside read 4 a.m. Too early for him to be up, as evidenced by the burning in his eyes and the headache pulsing behind his forehead.
He pushed off the bed, went to the kitchen, and brewed himself some coffee. Mug in hand, he sat on the end of the couch and took a tentative sip. The little dribble of cream had cooled it just enough that he could drink it without scalding himself.
What had he been thinking? Kissing her? A woman dead set against moving to his country. He couldn’t move away. Not without abandoning his family. The farm needed him. Besides, he loved working the farm. There was a history there, and it wasn’t going to end because he got a wild hair and an ache for a woman.
His head throbbed even harder, and he pressed his palm to his forehead.
“Got a headache?” Paige asked.
He looked over to the stairway to find Paige with her hand on the wall, staring at him. She was wearing the same robe, but it was parted, revealing a faded U2 t-shirt and rolled-up pajama bottoms. Rory was pretty sure she could wear anything and make it look good.
“Aye. It’s bad.” He winced, placing his hand to his head again.
The cushion next to him moved, and Paige took his hand. “I bet it’s a stress headache. Unless you get migraines.”
“I dinnae typically have headaches.”
“Let me try something.” Paige pinched the webbing between his forefinger and thumb.
“Ouch.” He tried to shake his hand free.
“Give it a second,” she said with a chuckle.
The initial shock of pain turned into a weird relief. His eyes slid shut as he laid his head back against the couch. A few minutes later, the headache was gone. Without lifting his head or opening his eyes, he said, “It’s gone.”
“Pressu
re points can get rid of a headache pretty quick. Sometimes, you can rub the tip of your thumb, but I’ve found pinching that part of the hand works best for me.”
“Thank ye.”
Another shift, and when he opened his eyes, she was sitting cross-legged on the couch facing him. “You’re welcome. Wanna tell me what woke you up?”
“Restlessness. Plus, that headache.”
“That’ll do it.”
“Is that why yer up?” Her eyes looked about as red as his felt.
Paige looked down. “Rory, we need to stop. We’re going to end up hurting each other, and I don’t want that. I like you too much to want to hurt you. I can’t move here, and you can’t move to Florida. There’s no way for this to end but badly. You know it, and I know it.”
“We’ve gone on two dates. The first few dates are always butterflies and tingles. We could go on a few more and realize we’re not interested in each other like that.”
“I don’t think that would happen.” She said it so low he barely heard it.
“So ye think this has potential? Ye and me?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think. It only matters what is. We just need to put whatever this is in check and make it until Penelope’s wedding. Then things can go back to normal for both of us.”
“It does matter.”
“No, it doesnae.” As she went to move, Rory locked his fingers around her wrist. “What if I said I’d move to Florida?”
“No, you have family here. You have the farm. You can’t up and leave. You don’t want to leave. I know you well enough to know that.”
“But what if I could? What if I did?”
She shook her head vehemently. “No. I won’t even go there.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Are ye sure it’s about movin’, then? Or is this about bein’ afraid?”
“Afraid of what? I’ve moved on from Tyler.”
“Have ye? It’s easy to say ye’ve done somethin’ without backin’ it up with action.” He knew all too well the truth in that. How many times had he said he’d moved on? They’d been lies, mostly to himself.
Mending the Billionaire Scotsman: A Clean Scottish Romance Book Two Page 11
