by Jen L. Grey
Hitting the unlock button, I make my way over to the vehicle. I open the door and slide. This car is nicer than what my parents even drove. It has dark leather seats and is all high end and automated. I thought old people weren't techy. Who knew?
I put the car in reverse and back out using the amazing camera. This car could almost freaking drive itself. I pull out of the driveway and head for home.
Somehow, I make it without falling asleep. I'm not sure how, but at this point I must be working on autopilot.
When I walk in the door, I find Charlie pacing in my living room. His blond hair is in disarray and his face is lined.
His head turns my direction and his eyes go to my arm that is injured and my torn shirt. "Are you okay?"
Shit, I was hoping to clean up before he saw me. "Yeah, I've just had a very long day."
"So, I've heard." His tone is a little cold, but he takes my arm and inspects it. "Rumor has it that you went to Hell today."
"Yeah, I'm sorry. It just happened." I don't feel like having this conversation right now. I'm tired and hungry. "Luke sprung it on me."
"Did Becca help you?" He lets my arm go and walks into the kitchen getting into the pantry. He pulls out a first aid kit and begins looking through it.
"No, she didn't." I walk into the kitchen with him and wash my hands. "It was someone else." I go the pantry and grab a handful of granola bars.
He grabs some alcohol swabs and comes over to me. "This is going to burn." He rubs it on me, and he’s right, it does hurt like hell.
"If it wasn't her, who took you?" He continues working on my arm.
Ugh, I don't want to be a prick right now, but I don't want to talk about it. "Can we talk about this in the morning? I really just want to take a shower and go to bed. I'm exhausted."
Silence descends over us for the next few minutes while I finish eating my food and he cleans my scratches. When he's done, I grab a bottle of water and drain it. "I'm going to jump in the shower."
"Okay, I'll go get ready for bed." He walks away toward my bedroom.
I grab his arm. "Look, I know you're upset with me tonight, so you don't have to stay."
His eyes meet mine for a moment and he lets out a shaky breath. He reaches out and touches my cheek with the palm of his hand. "There is nowhere else I want to be, even when I'm upset with you. I'm staying. I love you."
My heart melts and I smile. "I love you too and thank you. I want you here."
I rush off and take a quick shower and then crawl into bed next to Charlie. Tonight, I avoided a difficult conversation with him, and I have no clue how to get to the flame. I'm just hoping tomorrow brings everything together.
16
If I had hoped to wake up refreshed with a bunch of answers, I was overly optimistic. My power is still depleted from yesterday and my body hurts from all the Hell I have been put through. I'm unable to hold back my snort at that thought. For once, that is a true statement.
Charlie turns away from the stove and looks at me with furrowed eyebrows. "Are you okay?"
That's a fair question. I'm sitting at the table laughing at myself. These are the first words he's spoken to me this morning. It's been chilly between us even after his declaration last night. I have a feeling we are about to have a deep conversation or huge argument. I'm not sure which one, but either way, I'm not looking forward to it. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"If you say so." He turns back around and focuses on the eggs and sausage he's cooking.
My stomach grumbles at those smells as well as the yeasty smell coming from the oven. He's making biscuits. I do have to give him credit; despite being angry, he got up to make breakfast for me. I'm not sure I would return the favor if the shoe were on the other foot.
He pulls plates out of the cabinets, and then gets the biscuits out of the oven. Laying some paper towels on a plate, he places the sausage on it and turns to me. "It's ready. Let's eat up so we can talk."
If that's not an appetite killer, I don't know what is. "Okay, great." I try to force a smile, but I'm sure it comes off flat. "Thanks for breakfast."
"No problem." His face is indifferent, but his tone is a little gruff. "I figured, after all your escapades yesterday, you would need a good breakfast. Especially since you only had granola bars last night."
I'm pretty sure that's code for eat up. You're going to need it for our talk. Not wanting to upset him any more than I already have, I get up and pile the eggs and sausage on top of two biscuits. I should be too anxious to eat, but right now my stomach is growling so hard, I'm surprised the floor isn't shaking.
"Save some eggs for me." He chuckles as he waits for me to move.
It's his bad for letting me go first. I head back over to the table and plop in my seat. I struggle but am able to wait for him before I tear into my food.
We sit in silence while we eat our breakfast. He doesn't eat much, but I scarf down the food. My arms are sore, but it doesn't stop me from inhaling what's in front of me. As soon as I chew the last bite of my food, Charlie clears his throat.
He takes a sip of water and then sits it on the table. "I'm sorry. I can't wait any longer." He runs a hand through his hair. "How could you leave me behind again?"
This I wasn't expecting. I was banking on him being angry, not hurt. "It just kind of happened. Luke called me over there and had someone lined up to reap and bring back."
"Are you serious?" His drops his hands and his eyes widen. "He reaped someone and brought them back. Why?"
"So I could have a realm jumper to get me to Hell." Yeah, I was shocked there too, dear. "That's what I'm getting at. It wasn't like it was planned out on my end. It just happened."
"You could have called me ... something." He jerks his hand in the air and shakes his head. "I'm tired of sitting here helpless."
"I get it, but I don't even know if you could have made it there." I stand and rub my arms. "It was different and overwhelming. I'm not sure a normal reaper could have survived. I can't risk you, no matter the consequences."
"Do you not think the other night doesn't change everything?" He stands and his breathing quickens. "That was us agreeing to go all in together. Not you running off and doing your own thing and coming back to me when you're done."
"It wasn't like that..." I raise both hands but stop. Hurt is clear in his eyes. Whether I meant to or not, the damage is done.
"It never is, Christina." He turns away and paces around the coffee table. "When are you going to really let me in? When are you going to stop shutting me out? I thought when you got back from whatever soul-searching journey you went on things would change between us for the better."
Shit, I've messed up big time. I take a step toward him. "It has changed."
He throws both hands in front of his face. "Has it? Because as far as I can tell, you left me again and trusted some random stranger more than me to go to Hell with you."
"You're right." I take a few steps back to give him more space. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"What?" His mouth drops open and he lowers his hands.
"That's not what I meant to make you feel, but I understand where you're coming from." What would I do if he went off to Hell and left me behind? I'd be going out of my mind with worry. "I've been really inconsiderate, and I promise to do better going forward."
A small smile spreads across his face. "You're supposed to be more difficult. I haven't gotten through half my other examples yet."
Wow, how self-absorbed have I been? "Please, proceed. You're right. This is a partnership and I'm all in. Tell me."
He walks over to me and tugs me to him. His lips meet mine and his tongue demands entrance.
My hands wrap around his neck and make their way into his hair as I fall into the kiss.
Pulling me closer, he deepens the kiss then pulls back. "I'm done. That's all I need to hear."
When he lets me go a little, my power depletes even further causing me to lose my balance. I stumble to the left and he ti
ghtens his hold on me.
"Hey, what's wrong?" His brushes my hair away from my face and stares right at me.
"Ever since last night after fighting the angel and demon, my power has been low, and it hasn't bounced back." I lick my lips and hope he won't get upset again. We had just gotten past him getting upset over yesterday, the last thing I want to do is cause him to get angry again. But I can't lie to him.
"Ugh, see that's why I should have been with you." He kisses my lips again and helps me to the couch. "You need to take it easy today." He grabs his cell phone and unlocks it. "I'll call work and tell them I can't make it in."
No, he can't do that. He can't afford to miss work. "No, I'll be okay." I grab his hand and smile. "You need the money. The only thing I may do is go to the grocery store."
"Are you sure?" He looks down at me and grimaces. "I hate to leave you again after yesterday and how you're feeling now."
I lean down and press my lips against his. "No, it's fine. I promise." Him staying here with me isn't going to fix the issue any way.
"Fine, but you promise to call me if you begin feeling worse?" He raises an eyebrow and holds my gaze.
"Of course, I promise." I tap him on the nose and grin. It's hard acting more chipper than I'm feeling, but I don't want him to realize how bad I'm feeling.
"All right." He sighs and heads to the door. He opens it and looks back one last time. "Tonight, I'm bringing home lasagna and garlic bread. Does that sound good?"
That jerk knows it's more than okay with me. It's one of my favorite meals. "I think I can manage it." I stick my tongue out at him.
He laughs. "Call me if you need me. I love you."
"I love you, too." It's still surreal saying those words to him, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
After blowing me a kiss, he shuts the door.
I let out a breath and stumble over to the bed. I lay face first and close my eyes. I thought after I ate breakfast, I'd feel better. That I was just low on energy, but that's not it. It's my power, it's draining me.
Maybe if I use it, it'll get better. Maybe like a rejuvenation of sorts. I imagine Beth's grave and remove the barriers. I haven't been there in a while. I tug myself towards it, but nothing happens. My power just sputters. What the hell? What is going on here?
There has to be something that can help. I try pushing forward and my power sputters to life. I imagine Beth's grave again and tug myself there and I drop. The trip there is faster than before, and I'm jarred back and forth. When I get to graveyard, I drop to the ground landing hard on my ass.
Even after I get there, the power is raging inside me. It's like I set it off and now I can't slow it down. I glance around and there isn't anyone there at this early hour. It's around eight in the morning. Remembering what Luke said when my power last thrummed like this, I release some of the power, letting the excess out. The ground rumbles and a tornado bellows just a few feet away.
After just a few minutes, my power begins to drop fast. Shit, I'm not going to get to visit Beth. If I do, I won't be able to transport back to the apartment. I imagine my apartment and tug myself fast. The ground shakes underneath me, but it disappears. This time the air contracts around me the entire way there almost as if it's closing in on me. When I get back, I land on my bed and my power sucks back inside me to where it's nothing inside my core.
What the hell did I just do? Maybe that wasn’t the smartest idea I’ve ever had. I hope to God I didn’t mess up Beth’s grave. How could I have been so stupid?
My stomach growls again and a sharp hunger pain hits me. How could I be this hungry again so fast? I drag myself out of bed and head to the kitchen. I open the pantry. It’s still bare; it’s been weeks since I’ve been to the store, so of course there isn’t anything. I should go and get out of the house. If I stay here, I’ll just drive myself insane anyway.
Still exhausted, I grab some yoga pants and a plain green t-shirt. I never dress up, but I want to dress even more comfortable than my norm today.
I head into the bathroom and brush my teeth and hair. When I glance in the mirror before heading out the door, I stop in my tracks. I barely recognize myself. My face is pale, and I have dark circles under my eyes.
It’s crazy, because I’ve never been one for makeup unless mom was yelling at me to wear it, but there is no way I can leave like this. I prowl through my cabinet and find some concealer and foundation that I apply, just needing to appear healthy. I don’t need anyone thinking I’m on drugs.
After a few minutes, I’m somewhat satisfied with my appearance, so I head out.
It's not long before I'm pulling up in my old car at the grocery store. I could have driven Luke's, but I didn't want to. It's not mine, and this one feels more like me. I need to get the other one back to him soon. I just need some time and distance for a little while first. Things seem to spiral out of control when I'm around them.
Once I shut the door, I lock it, and head inside. I grab a cart and work my way into the produce area. My feet get heavy and fatigue hits me even harder. I don't understand what's going on with me. It's almost as if my insides are short circuiting and it almost brings me to my knees. I grab onto the handle bars and use it to help support me.
A hand wraps around my waist and the stench of death and a chill settles in my bones. "I got you."
No way. I turn my head and find Luke staring right at me. What in the world is he doing here? "Uh ... thanks." I want to move away, but my legs are still Jell-O.
He frowns and takes in my appearance. "You aren't doing well at all. What are we doing to do about that?"
Maybe I should have just stayed home.
17
Summing up all the strength I have, I take a step back and stand. "I'm fine. We don't have to do anything." I can't believe he's threatening me here in the middle of the store, but he is an Elder. He can pretty much do whatever he wants. He does make the rules around here.
A rare smile fills his face. "Did you think I was threatening, dear?" He steps closer to me and lowers his voice. "I mean I know what's wrong with you and how to fix it."
Of course, he freaking does. I'm the one out of the loop. "Which is?"
"I'll have to take you there." He glances around and then focuses back on me. "I need to pick one thing up, but then I can show you."
Great, I'm struggling to stand let alone stay here for any length of time. "I ... I don't think I can stay here much longer."
"Don't worry." He pushes the cart over to me. "It'll just take one minute. It's back here in the back. Then we can leave."
"You know what." I grab the handles once again for support and take a deep breath. If I move slow, I'm sure I've got this. "I'll stay here and wait for you."
"That's probably for the best. I'll be right back." He heads off toward the back.
It's stupid but I didn't notice until then there is someone standing in the back corner of the section standing behind a display. There is long, white blonde hair coming out of a hoodie, and they are looking away from me.
Luke walks right up to them and the person hands them something. It's small so I can't make out what it is. Luke takes it and places it some pocket inside his suit jacket. No words are exchanged, and he turns heading straight back to me. "Are you ready?"
I'm not sure what just went down, but right now I need his help. If he has the answer to what is going on, I need it. This is getting worse, not better. "As ready as I'll ever be."
"Then let's go get you feeling better." He holds out his arm to me.
Oh, no. There is no way I'm walking out of here arm in arm with him. "No, I got this." I steady myself and let the cart go. I'm sure someone will come by and get it. I didn't get to the first item to put in there.
Taking slow even steps, I follow him out to a Bentley. A driver gets out and opens the door for us. Whoa, I didn't expect this. I climb into the car and smile at him. "Thank you."
"My pleasure, ma'am." He nods and she shuts it and returns to the f
ront.
"See, my dear." Luke pats my arm and motions around me. "This is what you have to look forward to once you become one of us."
The thought hurts my stomach. I don't want all these fancy things. I've had them before and the people who value them don't tend to be nice or loyal. "So ... how's Dax?"
"That's interesting." He purses his lips and looks out the window. "You'd ask about him first instead of yourself."
Oh, my God. Did I do wrong by asking about someone else first? You'd think they would admire that since they are supposed to be advocates for our people. "I assumed I was getting taken care of." Dear God, these games make me sick. "Should I be worried you won't deliver?"
"Oh, my dear, that makes me so happy." He turns and his eyes are expressionless. "So, you're finally starting to trust me. I had expected you to be hesitant, so it took me off guard." He leans toward me and crosses his leg. "Dax is doing better. He'll be ready to head back down in just a couple of days. You, of course, saved him."
At least there is that. Dax did try to protect me down there even if it was for the council so I was happy to return the favor. "Okay, I'd like to check on him if he is still at the mansion."
"Sure, I need to drop off this item anyways." He pats his pocket and nods. "That will give you time for a quick visit."
"Wait. We're going there now?" He told me we were going to get help for me.
"Just for a minute to drop this off." He lets out a sigh and straightens high jacket. "Then I will take you to where I promised."
The mansion pulls up outside and the driver pulls in front.
Luke doesn’t wait for help and opens the door. He gets out and hurries to the door. “I’ll meet you back down by the door in ten minutes. You’ll find Dax in my office in the cot I reaped him in.”
Well, okay then. I follow his lead. For once, when I walk in the door a butler isn’t there to greet me. I’ll take that small blessing. They creep me out anyways. They have a knack of just showing up. I wonder if a witch put a spell on them or something.
As I make my way to the room, a cold shiver passes through me. I hold my arm out to the wall to support me as the coldness seems to attack my power. It encompasses it and tries to smother it.
