by Eva Chase
But then, in the middle of trying to plan our first trip to really meet, it had all fallen apart.
“There was some other girl, wasn’t there?” she’d said over Skype, what seemed like out of the blue. “You said you’ve never really had a girlfriend before, but there was someone.”
“What?” I’d said, but even in my confusion my mind had leapt to Rose. It just did. Even years after she’d left. I didn’t know what had happened to her. None of my internet searching had reassured me she was okay. Of course I couldn’t completely let her go.
But I hadn’t lied. Rose hadn’t been my girlfriend. Not even close.
“There are those things you never quite talk about,” Marian had said. “I can see you stopping yourself and editing stuff out. It’s not like I mind if you’ve been with other people before. I have. I just want to know you’re being honest with me.”
“I am,” I’d said. “There’s nothing important. Some of the stuff from when I was younger, it’s just… complicated.”
“Too complicated to tell me about?”
“I guess there are just secrets I don’t feel are mine to share,” I’d said, which had felt like a weak excuse even as it came out of my mouth.
“Secrets you’re keeping for a girl you don’t see anymore?” Her expression had shuttered. “Or do you still see her?”
“No,” I’d protested. “I haven’t seen her in years—”
And just like that I’d admitted it.
It might not have mattered. Maybe I could have figured out a way around that admission. But something in my face or my body language must have given me away. Marian had watched me and asked, ever so carefully, “And if she came back, would you still be talking to me?”
The correct answer, clearly, would have been an instant, “Yes, of course, don’t even worry about it.” The problem was, it wasn’t all that clear to me. I liked Marian a lot, yeah, but part of my heart was still tied up in the girl who was woven all through my childhood and early teen memories, the girl who’d be a woman now. So I’d hesitated.
We hadn’t broken up right then, but I knew that was what had done it. The conversation about meeting up had faltered. A few days later, Marian had emailed me to say she didn’t think we wanted the same things. And I hadn’t even blamed her for it.
Lying here now, staring at the metal etching, resolve balled in my stomach. I’d never let go of Rose, had I? Not really. Not even when I’d had another girl right in front of me. Not until she’d been reaching out to me.
What was wrong with me? The girl I’d never stopped caring about was back, and I might as well have slapped her in the face two days ago.
If I lost her, it might be my fault this time.
No. Screw all those stupid insecurities. If she didn’t feel that way about me, she didn’t feel it. But she had to at least know how much she meant to me.
I sat up and reached for my phone.
Chapter Nineteen
Rose
The moment after Dad left the house, a porter in tow with his luggage, a quiet descended in the hall. The three of us who’d come to see him off didn’t seem to know what to say to each other all of a sudden.
Derek ran his hand over his ash blond hair. “Well, I have a property to gather some details on for work, but I expect that’ll only take a couple hours, if you wanted to do something later this afternoon.” He gave me a gently questioning look.
Mouldy cinders, I had to offer something. “Maybe we could…” What to suggest that didn’t make me cringe? I’d have offered a stroll into town, but then we might run into one or more of the guys, and I couldn’t be sure how I’d handle myself then. Or how they’d handle themselves, if it happened to be, say, Damon. Derek and I had already taken so many turns through the garden he probably had every flower memorized. The thought of being confined in a car with him had me suppressing a shudder.
Oh! “You mentioned that concert recording you wanted to show me,” I said. “We could dust off the DVD player.” And watching TV meant I could do more observing him and less trying to think of things to say.
“Sounds like a plan,” Derek said. He leaned in to give me a kiss, so abruptly and so unexpectedly my head flinched to the side. His lips brushed my cheek.
I blushed with a flip of my heart that wasn’t at all pleasant. I had to make some appearance of still seeing him as my consort-to-be, or he or Celestine or both of them would realize something was very wrong.
“Sorry,” I said with a quick smile. “My nerves are all over the place this morning. Didn’t see that coming.”
Derek chuckled as if it didn’t matter. I offered my lips to him, and he gave them a peck that didn’t provoke too much of a cringe. For the first time in my life I was grateful that my stepmother was around, so he didn’t go for anything more.
Celestine had stepped to the side to watch Dad’s car leave for the airport through the big picture window in the living room. As Derek ambled off, I edged closer to her. If Master Courtland had discovered the attempted robbery, I had to think he’d have told her. Did she know yet? Did she suspect it’d been me? I’d been careful sneaking out yesterday evening, but I couldn’t assume I was safe.
I waited until the car was out of sight before I opened my mouth. My stepmother turned in the same moment and startled as if she’d forgotten I was there. “Rosalind,” she said with a twitch of her hand over her glossy bob. “I’m sure we’ll get along until he returns.”
As if you could call what we did at any time “getting along.” She did seem to have a bit of an agitated air about her. I cleared my throat. “I was just wondering, do you know if Master Cortland will be back today? I was thinking it’d be a nice day for a walk over there if he’s home.”
Did her eyes widen slightly at that question or was I just imagining it? Her lips pressed flat, but that was pretty much Celestine’s standard expression.
“I don’t keep that close accounting of his schedule,” she said. “I only heard he was going to be away for some time. You could always call the house and see, you know.”
“Right,” I said, with an apologetic dip of my head. “I’ll do that.”
Except I absolutely definitely wouldn’t.
“What now?” Philomena murmured, appearing next to me as I headed up the stairs. “Shall we tie them to chairs and interrogate them with hot pokers?”
“Have you been getting caught up in stories that aren’t yours?” I asked. “Where did that come from?”
She grinned. “Oh, it’s just something my older brother used to threaten me with when I was getting up to a little too much secret mischief. He was just joking. At least, I think he was…”
“Well, I think going straight to physical torture might be a little extreme.” And also it wasn’t as if I could have gotten a direct advantage over Celestine while she had her magic and my spark was dim. I bit my lip.
In the upstairs hall, Meredith was just ducking into her office. Without really knowing what I intended to do, I meandered over.
I stopped in the doorway, watching our estate manager as she gestured at one of her filing cabinets. A drawer slid open and a folder jumped out. “There you are,” she murmured, grabbing it.
She bent over the papers, her pale hair drifting across her smooth face. A lump rose in my throat. Meredith had been the closest thing I’d had to a mother most of my childhood. I couldn’t even remember my birth mother, who’d been taken by a sudden and aggressive cancer when I was a toddler. But she was still my father and stepmother’s employee. What could I tell her that would make this whole conspiracy sound believable?
She turned and raised her eyebrows at the sight of me. “You’ll give me a heart attack, standing there so quiet, Rose,” she said with a little laugh.
“Sorry,” I said. “I was just wondering…” Could I ask if she’d noticed Celestine and Derek talking at all when I wasn’t around? No, that might sound as if I suspected them of some kind of intimate dalliance. I restrained a shudder a
t the thought. Maybe I could ask about Derek’s activities as if I were trying to arrange some romantic surprise for him?
Before I could decide, the floorboards creaked down the hall. I glanced over. Celestine had just come up the stairs. Our gazes locked, and then hers slid from me to the room I was standing outside of. A prickle ran down my back.
I couldn’t ask anything with my stepmother watching.
“Never mind,” I said to Meredith. “I think I’ve remembered on my own.”
I headed for my bedroom as if the answer to my question was there. As soon as I’d closed the door behind me, I let out my breath.
“Maybe the guys have thought of something,” I said to Philomena. Not that it seemed very likely. If I couldn’t solve this witching problem, how could they, so far outside it?
“Or maybe you just want to talk to them more than anyone here. That’s all right. I don’t blame you.” Phil gave me a playful smirk.
I wrinkled my nose at her, but she wasn’t entirely wrong. When I dug the prepaid phone out from its hiding place, my spirits leapt at the sight of a text alert on the screen.
It was Kyler, and not news, just checking in. You’ve been quiet for a bit. Everything all right over there?
He’d sent it to me directly instead of in a group conversation with the other guys. I wasn’t sure what to make of that. I wasn’t sure what to make of his reaction to me the last time I’d seen him in general. He’d acted like he couldn’t stand to hug me. I’d thought…
Well, obviously whatever I’d thought, I’d been getting away from myself. It wasn’t as if I needed all the guys to be head over heels for me. It wasn’t as if I even knew what I could do about the three who seemed to return at least some of my feelings. But Ky’s response had still stung.
Laying low, watching for any chance to gather more info, I wrote back. Sorry for the silence.
His text had been from late last night, but he answered mine immediately. Don’t worry about it! Now I’ve got my peace of mind. He added a winking emoji. There was a pause, and then the app showed him typing again. A new message popped up a minute later. Actually, can we talk? In person, ideally? I can come to you.
My breath caught. Okay, I said. Tomorrow morning, by the pond again? Around 10am? Derek was meant to drive out to see one of the properties he was considering pitching then, so at least I wouldn’t have to worry about making excuses to him. Although… Unless you have to work.
My schedule is flexible! Ky wrote back at once. 10am tomorrow it is.
I took a roundabout route to the pond, in case my stepmother or the staff happened to notice me heading into the woods. During the walk there, I didn’t hear anything but the usual whisperings of the forest.
The air was dry and the sun beaming this morning, but last night’s rain had left the ground between the trees squishy. I trod carefully as I approached the pond. If I ended up sinking up to my ankles in mud, that would prompt some questions.
I heard Kyler before I saw him. A periodic plinking as he tossed pebbles into the pond. When I emerged from the trees, he was leaning against the boulder with a handful of stones. He shot me a smile and threw another, making a face as it hit the surface and promptly sunk.
“There’s a whole formula for it, you know,” he said brightly. “Skipping stones? The best velocity and trajectory and— I could tell you all that. But I can’t seem to follow it well enough to make the damn things actually skip.”
“Well, when it’s your arm, there’s muscle control involved, right?” I said. “I don’t know how you’d even judge exactly how fast you’re moving. Obviously what you need to do is invent a machine with the process fully automated.”
His smile came back, stretching into a grin. “And what a great contribution to society that would be.” He dropped the rest of the pebbles, brushed his hands together, and straightened up. “Rose,” he said. He looked at the ground and then back at me. Something in his gaze made my heart thump. He opened his mouth, hesitated again, and then simply said, “Oh, fuck it.”
With two strides of his long legs he’d crossed the ground between us and brought his hands to my face. His kiss was determined but careful, as if to give me room to move away if I didn’t want it.
But I did. A giddy joy rushed through my body. I leaned into him and kissed him back, hard, my pent-up desire bubbling up. My spark sprang to life in an instant.
Ky tipped his head to end the kiss, but he stayed where he was, his hands framing my face, his hot breath tickling over my tender lips. “Rose,” he said again, like a prayer.
Giddiness was still tickling through me alongside the flicker of my spark. “Is that what you came here to tell me?” I said with a smile.
Kyler chuckled roughly. “I was worried, after the other day— I didn’t want you to think— I didn’t mean to push you away.”
“You did kind of give the impression you needed more distance,” I said.
“I know. I assumed, after how quickly you left that night at my apartment—and, I mean, when you have the other guys…”
An ache surrounded my heart. “I didn’t leave that night because of you. I thought I was still going to marry my fiancé then. I was upset with myself for forgetting that promise, for giving in to my feelings.”
“So you do have feelings?” Ky said, his tone turning playful. “For me? Because I definitely have a lot when it comes to you.”
A laugh slipped out of me. “So many I don’t know what to do with them, Ky.” My mind turned over the words he’d said a moment ago. When you have the other guys… My throat tightened. He knew, then. “Does it bother you that it’s not just you?”
He shook his head. “Why wouldn’t you want any of them? All of them? Doesn’t matter to me, as long as you know I’m here for you too.”
“You don’t think it’s strange? I don’t know if I could ever just decide between you.” I paused. “I wouldn’t want to.”
“It’s always been all of us,” Ky said. “That’s how we’re at our best. Maybe it makes more sense like this.”
My thoughts drifted to those images I’d seen carved inside the stone tower. The witches with their multiple consorts. Maybe it hadn’t been strange to some distant ancestors of mine either.
But those consorts would still have been witching men, wouldn’t they?
The tension in my throat came back. I wanted to burrow my head in the crook of Ky’s neck and drown myself in the musky, minty smell of his skin, but that wouldn’t change what was true.
“I don’t think I can have any of you, though.”
He pulled back a little farther so he could more easily meet my eyes. “Why not? You said before that this marriage isn’t so easy to get out of—what’s really going on, Rose?”
My instinct was to deflect and change the subject, like I’d always had to when we got close to any witching subject. I stopped myself before those words could come out.
I’d told Seth. I’d shown Seth. Maybe not in extended detail, but enough. The guys all knew at least a little.
Ever since I was a little girl, my father, Meredith, every tutor had drilled into me that a witch never showed her magic, never talked about her magic, with the unsparked. But my guys were more than that.
“Kiss me again,” I said, “and I’ll show you.”
Ky looked a little puzzled, but not enough to stop him from lowering his mouth to mine. I tipped my head, my lips sliding against his, the shiver of that pleasure racing down into my chest and making that glimmer of a spark flare a little brighter.
When Ky drew back, I curved my arm, summoning up that hint of power. Then I twisted my wrist and cupped my fingers. One of the pebbles he’d gathered lifted off the ground and flew into my hand.
Ky’s eyebrows rose. He stared at the pebble on my palm and then at me. A grin broke across his face. “Amazing,” he said.
His appreciation emboldened me. “I’ll be able to do a whole lot more than fling around stones,” I said. “But only… I’ll l
ose every chance I have of coming into my power if I don’t take a consort in the proper ceremony by the time I’m twenty-five. Which is two months from now. And I need a consort who comes from a family line that shares that kind of power.”
Ky was silent for a moment. I could almost see his thoughts darting by behind his curious eyes. He knew how to put the pieces he had together.
“I helped you do that somehow,” he said, motioning to the pebble. “Like this consort of yours would? But I’m not—I’m just ordinary.”
“You,” I said firmly, “are anything but ordinary. But you’re not… You’re not my kind.”
“Are you sure that’s what you need?” Ky asked. “If it could work a little bit with someone like me…”
“I don’t know,” I said. “But that’s what I’ve always been taught. And if I ignore what I thought I knew, and it turns out I’m wrong… There’ll be no way to get back my magic.”
Chapter Twenty
Rose
Dad’s library had at least thirty volumes on witching history and folklore. Not one of them contained any mention of a witch taking an unsparked partner as consort. Or taking more than one consort at the same time.
I frowned as I slid the last one back into the shelf.
“You know I hold books in high esteem,” Philomena said, strolling around the bookcases. “But not everything can be found in one.”
“It doesn’t make any sense,” I said. “If it ever happened, you’d think someone would have told a story about it.”
“Hmm.” Phil fluttered her fan. “It depends on who was writing up those stories, and how much they wanted anyone to know, don’t you think? That’s your specialty, isn’t it—organizing and archiving? Choices are made, and not always by people who want the full story told. It horrifies me sometimes, the amount of truth that was written out of the texts of my time.”
