Finally, Brian got it together, “Brigitte this is Téa’s best friend, and one of my dearest friends, Jessica Ramsey.”
Brigitte left Brian’s side and walked closer to Jessie. In a sing-song voice, Brigitte’s feigned enthusiasm was just a bit over the top “Oh my goodness! So you’re Jessie. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you from Téa and Brian. I’m glad we’re finally getting a chance to meet. I wasn’t sure if we ever would.”
Jessie did her best to smile especially since, the green-eyed jealously monster was making an appearance.
Were Brigitte’s eyes violet? This was just too much. Jessie hated to admit it, but if she were a man, she’d be attracted to Brigitte, too. She hated feeling insecure and did her best to cover it up. “I’m glad to finally meet you, too.”
She couldn’t resist comparing herself to her. Thank god she’d gone to visit a stylist and gotten her hair relaxed specifically for this trip. Her hair was normally in a curly ponytail hidden underneath a hat, so at least her hair wasn’t a complete mess. But Brigitte’s raven tresses were long and silky and more than likely styled by top professionals. As a matter of a fact, her mane was so gorgeous she could have starred in a hair commercial….and probably had.
Just about an hour ago, Jessie had been trying to decide between yoga pants and sweatpants. Brigitte stood before her wearing something that looked like it was from the runways of Milan.
Despite all of that, Jessie did feel slightly triumphant when comparing their bodies. Brigitte was tall and slender where Jessie was tall but more athletic and had more meat on her bones. At least Brian would have something to hold on to.
Brigitte reached out to shake Jessie’s hand. They were super soft and perfectly manicured. Jessie couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a mani-pedi. As Jessie studied Brigitte’s face, her perfectly sculpted eyebrows, and ridiculously long lashes, she was surprised that when her eyes met Brigitte’s, there was simmering anger held within them.
“You and Brian are up late. Where are Michael and Téa?”
Brian went from being surprised to see Brigitte to slightly aggravated with her. She should not have shown up at his house unannounced and the irritation was evident in his voice, “Téa and Michael just went up to bed. I didn’t have a chance to call you today because I had a lot on my plate.”
Brigitte went back toward Brian and put her arms around his neck, “Well, you seemed to have found enough time to spend with your friends.”
Apparently, the green-eyed monster didn’t just stop off to visit Jessie. He seemed to also make a pit stop with Brigitte, too.
Jessie decided that she hated Brigitte. “It’s getting late. It’s been a long day so I’m going to head upstairs to bed. It was nice to meet you.”
Brigitte seemed genuinely surprised and all false pretenses of being glad to meet Jessie evaporated. “You’re sleeping here?”
Brian, sounding frustrated, answered for Jessie, “Yes, she has one of the spare bedrooms upstairs.” He turned to Jessie, “Jessie…I….we’ll talk later ok.”
That was her signal to leave. Jessie gave him a half-smile and walked out of the room.
*****
Brian was on his second brandy since Jessie left to go back to her room. He knew he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to visit with Brigitte so he’d cut it short. Of course she wasn’t happy about it, and he had to make all kinds of promises to call tomorrow.
More than anything he couldn’t get his mind off of what happened between him and Jessie. One minute they were sitting on the couch reading lines, and the next minute he was about to make love to her.
Is that what she wanted? Is that what he wanted? Brian looked up at the direction of Jessie’s bedroom. Should he go to her? What would happen if he did?
If he were honest, he wanted her, there was no doubt about that. But, it was Jessie! One of the best things about their friendship was that he could be himself. Brian had to be “on” all the time even in his private moments. The only person he knew he could truly be unguarded with was Michael. That was until he met Jessie and Téa. They were two of the most genuine people he knew.
Brian could tell Jessie anything and not worry about it being ‘leaked’ to the tabloids. The best part about her was the he didn’t need to perform when they were together. Living in a world that was so cut-throat and where everything was pretend, it meant a lot to have such an honest relationship.
There weren’t any expectations or pressures; they just simply enjoyed each other’s company. He didn’t want that to change. He needed for it not to change. Sex always complicates everything. He wasn’t going to lose her friendship because they had a moment and got caught up in the script. What was Brian thinking? Jessie was the sensible one. She probably was already regretting the mistake they’d made tonight. He had hopes that they’d laugh and talk about it tomorrow.
Chapter 12
Jessie awakened early the next morning after a fitful night of sleep. She tossed and turned waiting and hoping that Brian would come to her. She decided to just get up and out of bed. It was obvious she wasn’t going to get anymore sleep. Maybe an extra vigorous workout would give her some clarity and diminish the anxiety swimming around her mind.
She put on her running clothes. Jessie quietly left the house but didn’t notice the paparazzi hiding in the bushes.
Fifteen minutes into her run, her mind couldn’t stop replaying what happened between her and Brian. She tried to remember when her feelings for him had changed from friend to something else. She couldn’t put her finger on it. As much as she denied it maybe it was because deep down she’d always been attracted to him; however, he’d never shown the least bit of romantic interest.
It suited Jessie to remain in the friend zone because of the fullness of the friendship. Brian offered support, encouragement, and everything you’d expect a partner to provide. Maybe the question she should be asking is not when she became attracted to him, but when did she decide she was ready to elevate the friendship to something more.
Who was she kidding? Brigitte had everything to do with this. Jessie was threatened by that relationship, and it had her acting out of character. Gray was right about her and men. She should have just tried to be honest and talk to Brian about her feelings. Instead, she tried to seduce one of her best friends knowing in the back of her mind that he was involved in a relationship. She should be ashamed of herself. He didn’t deserve that. He’d wanted her physically, but it was obvious from his reaction he was shocked, confused, and regretted it as soon as it happened.
Jessie felt sick to her stomach and abruptly stop running. She bent over to touch her knees and catch her breath. Not because she was winded but because she had just realized how important Brian had become in her life, and she’d just tried to manipulate him. Jessie inhaled deeply. She hoped she could make it up to him.
After looking at her watch she’d been gone over an hour. What happened to the time? She didn’t mean to run this far. It was time to head back. Jessie had gotten what she wanted out of this run—clarity. Sometimes she didn’t come to the conclusions she’d desired, but it always gave Jessie better direction. She would follow Brian’s lead. If he only wanted her as a friend, then she would bury her feelings and be the best friend she could be…and apologize.
*****
When Jessie arrived back to the house everyone was up. She just wanted to hide out in her room. It was childish and not an option, but she needed to give herself a little more time. A shower was a good excuse, and with all the sweat dripping from her body she definitely needed one. Of course, she ran into a well-rested and observant Téa as soon as she walked through the door.
“Hey, I was looking for you this morning. It took me a minute to figure out you were out running. I thought today was a yoga day? Anyway, was it a good run?”
“I like to switch it up every now and again. The flight was so long I just felt like a run, and it was a good one.”
“You…switch thi
ngs up? That’s a joke right? I’ve never met a more disciplined person in my life.”
“Téa, I’m super sweaty. I’m just going to head up and take a quick shower.” Jessie felt raw and not ready to discuss her emotions with anyone and started up the steps.
“Are you sure you’re ok? You tend to go running when you have something on your mind. I know today is the nine-year anniversary but you’ll get through it.”
Jessie stopped in mid-step and turned around with a horrified look on her face. She whispered, “I forgot.”
Téa’s eyes widened in surprise. “Jessie, I’m so sorry. It’s ok.”
Jessie hurried up the stairs with tears streaming down her face. How could she forget? What the hell was wrong with her? She passed Michael as she went into her room and closed the door. He saw the distress on her face. Téa was right on Jessie’s heels. She knocked on the door.
“Jessie, please let me inside.”
Jessie called out through the door, “I’m fine. I just need a shower. Give me twenty, and I’ll be down, ok?”
Reluctantly, Téa decided to give her some time alone. “Okay.”
Michael looked so confused, “Téa what’s wrong? Is she alright? Did you two fight?”
Téa pinched the bridge of her nose, “She’s fine, and no we didn’t fight. This is just a hard time of year for her. Can we talk about this later?”
Michael wanted to talk about it now but he’d learned by now that Téa wouldn’t do anything until she was ready to do it. So instead, he just pulled her into his arms and kissed her forehead. “Ok, we’ll talk later.”
They headed down the stairs while Jessie shed silent tears in private.
Several minutes later, Jessie was still leaning against the door for support because all of her energy was gone. How could she have forgotten? She whispered to her dead family, “I’m so sorry.” She’d never forgotten an anniversary before. The guilt was almost unbearable.
A half hour later, Jessie still hadn’t come down from the bedroom. Téa kept looking up at the stairs from the library waiting for Jessie to come down.
Brian walked into the library just as Michael was voicing his concern, “Ok, Téa, what the hell is going on? Your eyes have been glued to those stairs waiting for Jessie to come down, and she was clearly upset. Something is really off and I want to know what it is.”
Brian hoped that it wasn’t about last night. He would never purposely hurt Jessie. “Maybe, I should go talk to her.”
Michael caught the guilty look on his brother’s face.
Téa stood up, “No! I’m sorry Brian. I didn’t me to yell at you. It’s just that this time of year is really difficult for her. I’d hope time would heal her but…” her voice trailed off. I’m going to go up and check on her.
Chapter 13
Téa went up to check on Jessie and Michael closed the library door behind her. “Ok…What’s going on Brian? Last night when Téa and I walked in here I could tell something was up. Did you do something to Jessie?”
Brian couldn’t look Michael in the eyes and nervously rubbed his chin. “I…I…Didn’t mean to. I love her and would never do anything to hurt her.”
Michael cursed under his breath, “Did you come on to her? Damn it. Jessie is like a sister to Téa.”
“It’s not like you think. We were reading lines and she kissed me. Next thing I knew, one thing led to another. It came out of nowhere.”
“Jessie is not the kind of girl you can just sleep with and it doesn’t mean anything.”
“You don’t think I know that! I spent all night trying to sort this out in my mind. She’s special to me and like I’ve said, I would never do anything to hurt her.”
“This didn’t just come from nowhere. If you can’t be honest with me at least be honest with yourself. I’ve seen how you look at her when you think no one is looking.”
Brian didn’t deny it.
“Do you want to explore something more with her?”
“I spent all night thinking about that. You know my circle of people I trust is very small. It consists basically of three people, you, Jessie, and Téa. If I tried to pursue something more and it didn’t work, my circle would get even smaller. I would never want to hurt or lose Jessie.”
“How do you know you would hurt her or that it wouldn’t work out? How do you know she’s not the one for you?”
“I’m not willing to risk it. I’m not even sure how she feels about last night. We haven’t talked about it yet. She could feel like it was a mistake. Then, there’s Brigitte. What? Do I just kick her to the curb? I genuinely care for her. She understands me and we’re good together.”
“It sounds like you’ve made your decision.”
“I have…Jessie is one of my best friends and I never intend to lose that friendship. I’ll always do anything to protect it.”
“I can’t say that I’m not sorry. I’ve always thought Jessie would be good for you. When she’s around you’re more…relaxed. She seems to help keep you grounded. But, if that’s your decision, I’ll respect it. I just want you to be happy, and if Brigitte does that for you, then I support that, too.”
“Thanks. I just hope everything is ok.”
While Michael and Brian were downstairs Téa was going to force Jessie to face her demons. She knocked on the door. There was no answer. She knocked again. Again, there was no answer. Luckily, when she turned the door knob it was unlocked.
“Jessie, it’s me, Téa.”
Jessie was lying on the bed with her hands behind her head staring up at the ceiling. Téa sat down on the bed next to her.
Jessie closed her eyes and the tears just started to stream down her face. Her voice was shaky, “Téa, I was so wrapped up in…in…the craziness that is my life…that I forgot. What kind of person would forget about them?”
“A person who has experienced an unimaginable tragedy but is trying to move on with her life. You didn’t forget them. Don’t you think you’ve served your penance? It’s been nine years, Jessie.”
“I’ve tried to let it go. I carry it with me every day and I can’t.”
“Something was so powerful it allowed you the space to let the guilt go, if only for just a minute. And guess what? It’s okay.”
Jessie sat up in the bed and covered her face with her hands, “You don’t understand, I shouldn’t be here. I should have died, too!”
Téa reached out and hugged her tightly as they cried together.
Jessie started talking as if the tragedy had just happened. “We were sleeping when the men came into our house. By the time we knew they were inside they’d already made it into the girls’ bedroom. I’m guessing they thought it was our room. We begged and pleaded for them not to hurt the girls. They kept asking for the Amuru. We didn’t even know what the Amuru was, but we would have given them anything.
I watched them kill my babies. I watched them Téa. There was so much blood. Antonio and I tried to stop them but we couldn’t. They shot me first in the chest barely missing my heart. But I saw them put a bullet right through Antonio’s eyes. They left both of us for dead.”
Téa was crying too, “I didn’t know you saw everything.”
“I saw everything. At some point I must have passed out because it wasn’t until I woke up in the hospital several days later that Kyoshe explained what happened. They took my life…my soul…and it was all because of a mistaken identity. They had the wrong house.”
Téa was in shock. Kyoshe is real? She’d thought he was a myth. “I’m so sorry, Jessie, but I thought Kyoshe was an urban legend? He really does exist?”
“Yes she’s real. After I got stronger, I found out all I could about the Amuru. With the help and training of Kyoshe, I found the men who killed my family and the men who ordered it. They now have no need for the Amuru. It sits on my desk.”
“I don’t understand...you didn’t allow those men to kill you that night, but you’ve allowed them to murder your spirit. I think that is worse, and I ca
n’t believe this is what Antonio would have wanted for you. He’d have wanted you to try to build a life, not live in some self-made purgatory simply because you didn’t die.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Isn’t it? Isn’t that why you keep everyone outside of MEGA-AX1 at a distance—even Michael and Brian?”
Jessie pulled back from her embrace and wiped away the tears with the back of her hands.
“What do you want me to do? I’m trying.”
“Try harder. You’ve got to figure out a way to let go of the pain, hurt, and guilt. I’ve known you for eight years and you only run yourself to the point of exhaustion when something is on your mind. Whatever it was allowed you a brief reprieve, but you’re fighting it. What was it?”
Jessie contemplated not telling Téa, but she was tired of holding everything inside. Since she was spilling her guts she might as well tell all.
“I tried to seduce Brian last night.”
Téa almost choked, “Say that again?”
“I tried to seduce Brian last night.”
“I heard you the first time. I knew it. My instincts usually don’t fail me. Jessie that’s wonderful. Were you successful?”
“No.”
“No? Why not?”
“You and Michael came home early. But, it was all for the best.”
“You haven’t been with anyone since Antonio, at least that you’ve mentioned, so Brian must be something special.”
“Téa, I tried to seduce him knowing he had a girlfriend. I mean it didn’t work, but after everyone had gone to bed I was still hoping he would come to me last night. He didn’t. Good thing one of us was thinking clearly because I’m not that kind of woman.”
MEGA-AX1 The Inferno Page 7
