by Sienna Snow
“Are you okay, Jacinta?” Kevin came closer to me and placed a gentle hand on my waist as he turned his gaze in the direction I was looking.
I nodded. “They were meant for this.”
Kevin kissed the side of my head. “Yes, they were. No matter what Ashur says, he’s not an asshole. Both Ashur and Veer know how to make everyone around them comfortable. They know who they are and don’t pretend to be someone else. That’s what’s made them so popular.”
“Unlike us, who have to play certain roles.” I was still so angry at myself for aligning with Edgar.
At least I’d learned my lesson and now picked my alliances more carefully.
“They’re going to win. I know it.” I leaned into Kevin, needing to feel his support.
“It’s still too early to know who the leader is for sure, but I agree with you.” Kevin ushered me toward a group of GOP constituents.
As I moved into the crowd, my gaze caught Veer’s. My heart roared in my ears, and painful sadness engulfed my stomach.
Veer stared at me in that deep, penetrating way that made me feel like he could see to the core of my soul.
The weeks we’d been apart felt like years, and all I wanted was to walk up to him and hug him, to make sure he was okay. But I didn’t have the right. I never had, especially not in public.
A painful reminder of another poor decision I’d made.
“I’d suggest you stop looking at him as if he were your lost, stolen puppy, or you’re going to add fuel to the rumors and pictures,” Kevin said.
My lips trembled, and I nodded. As I glanced away, I noticed Tara and Ashur follow Veer’s gaze. Tara placed a hand on Veer’s upper arm and then said something. Veer shook his head and turned to face the group around him.
A crushing weight bore down on my chest. It would never be the same between any of us. I’d known it when we parted in New York, but now as two people on opposing political sides, it felt like a giant gulf was between us.
“Let’s go, Kev. We only have to be here for another hour, and then we can leave.”
Before we could take a step, Kathy and Christopher approached us.
“Jacinta. It’s so good to see you,” Kathy said and kissed both my cheeks. “You look absolutely beautiful tonight. Is that another of Shawna Martinez’s designs?”
I smiled. “Yes, it is.”
Kevin stood stiffly next to me and stared at Chris, who was doing the same in return.
I decided to break the tension and leaned into Chris to give him a hug. “How are you, Chris?”
His attention moved to me, and he lifted a brow, asking me without words if I’d talked with Kevin. I gave a slight shake of my head. “I’m good. Kathy wanted to show her support for you and Mrs. Edgar. So, we decided to attend.”
“How are you, Kevin?” Kathy asked him. “I miss seeing you. Promise me the next time you’re in New York you’ll come to see me.”
“I promise.” Kevin took her hand and brought her in for a light hug. That was when he noticed her finger was missing an engagement ring.
She caught his observation and smiled. “It’s exactly what you’re thinking, Kev. And I believe you and Christopher need to have a conversation.”
Kevin shook his head and pulled out of Kathy’s hold and then slipped his arm around me, squeezing my waist tight.
“I wish it were that simple. Some hurts are hard to get over. If you’ll excuse us? We have to greet the first lady.” Kevin ushered me away before anyone could say another word.
Five hours later, Kevin handed me a cup of tea and sat down next to me on the steps along the back patio of my DC townhouse.
“There’s something I want to talk to you about.” I leaned my head against his shoulder.
“If it’s about Chris, then save it. He told me where we stood months ago. I refuse to be a consolation.”
I ignored his snarky comment. “He came to see me today at the capitol.”
“I know. He left a message saying he spoke with you.”
I looked up at him and frowned. “Then why the fuck are you sitting here with me and not at the hotel with him?”
“Because I made a promise to you.” He lifted my left hand and played with the diamond on my finger.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it. If you said you wanted to be with Chris, I’d break the engagement without question. So, cut the crap.”
Kevin winced. “What do you want me to say, Jaci? That I don’t trust he’s telling the truth? Or that I don’t believe he will ever come out? His family doesn’t even know. I refuse to live a life where I take all the risks and he doesn’t.”
“He told them,” I interjected.
“What?”
I guessed Chris left that part out of his messages to Kevin.
“You heard me. Chris’s parents know. Kathy has always known. Now it’s up to you.”
“Well, fuck.” He scratched agitated fingers through his hair, and then looked at me.
Indecision warred on his face. He was one of the best men I had ever encountered. I knew what he was truly worried about now: me. Somehow, I had to convince him that I’d be just fine.
“Jaci, what are we going to do? People are expecting a big white wedding a few weeks after the election.”
“You could always use the pictures Decker and Edgar released as the excuse you need to break things off. I can handle the backlash.”
In the grand scheme of things, most people had forgotten about the pictures. In the timeframe of pollical scandals, it was a small blip. Americans were more focused on the presidential election than some pictures of a past relationship between two Texas politicians. Hell, a romance movie channel had decided to write a “based on true events” script about two politicians who fell in love. I wouldn’t fool myself and think my colleagues had refrained from talking about me behind my back, but that was a small price to pay.
“I’m not going to put you through the wringer any more than you already have.”
I set my cup on the step and wrapped my arms around his waist. “You could always come out. Wasn’t the stress of hiding your relationship the reason you and Chris broke up? Now there is nothing to stop you from being together.”
“It could cost you, in the future. You know some dipshit will spin it that being with you turned me gay.” He shook his head. “We have to face it—some people are born assholes.”
“You do know I’ll support you no matter what you decide? I want you to be happy. You deserve it.”
He remained quiet, lost in his thoughts.
After a few moments, he kissed the top of my head and then threaded his fingers through mine. “I’ve never had a breakup where I knew without a doubt that my ex would be a genuine friend for the rest of my life.”
“Back at you.”
A light entered his eyes, something that hadn’t been there a few minutes ago.
“Now, we have to fix things with our significant others.”
“There is hope for you, love. Not me. I’ve accepted it. I can’t have the White House and the man. It’s not in the cards.”
“Who says? That man loves you. It’s in his eyes. Don’t let him go.”
“It’s too late for us, no matter what I want.”
“And people say I’m stubborn.”
“Whatever. I’m going to head to bed.” I released Kevin’s hand and stood.
“I think I’m going to sit out here for a little longer. Maybe make a call or two.”
I smiled. “Love you, Kev. Make sure Chris grovels a little before you give in.”
“You know I will.”
I turned, climbed the steps, and went inside to my cold, empty bed.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Senator Camden. We will start in ten minutes.”
I nodded and then looked at my reflection in the prep mirror as the makeup artist placed the finishing touches on my face.
It had been exactly thirty days since Kevin and I decided we couldn’t do the prete
nd-couple thing. What surprised me most was the relief I felt. Kevin deserved to live a life he chose instead of one orchestrated for him. Hell, both of us did. Thankfully, our breakup was drowned out by the chaos of election campaigning, nationally and in my state of Texas.
Neither Kevin nor Chris had officially come out, outside of telling their families. For Kevin, the discussion had gone better than expected but not as great as he’d hoped. Kevin was asked to step down from his family’s oil business due to him not sharing the company’s values. Thankfully, his parents hadn’t completely disowned him.
Chris on the other hand, was no longer considered a member of the Robinson family. His parents viewed him as an abomination and wanted nothing to do with him. It broke my heart to think of the pain he must have felt. At least, in the end Kevin and Chris were finally together.
They’d made a handful of public appearances, where a few old-school conservatives had raised their eyebrows, but no one had made any underhanded comments. Well, not to their faces anyway.
My life, on the other hand, was a routine in monotony and self-pity. At least, I had the No Bride Initiative to keep me busy. The first lady and Tara had become the face of the organization, and I assisted in whatever capacity I could between my duties to my constituents and committees.
Work had become the saving grace to keep me from thinking about how lonely my life had become. The only joy I’d had in the last few weeks was when I had the chance to visit Samina, Devin, and my gorgeous nephew in Seattle. Sam was almost ready to deliver a little girl and had decided to limit travel to DC for a while. Spending time with family lessened the loneliness.
I knew I had to start dating again. Sam and Kevin nagged me enough, but I wasn’t ready. Plus, seeing Kevin genuinely happy for the first time in years made me realize what a phenomenal mistake I’d made by putting my career and ambition before everything.
I closed my eyes for a brief second, picturing beautiful amber ones gazing at me.
Veer, I miss you so much. Maybe one day we’ll find our way back to each other.
I knew my thoughts were wishful thinking, but I needed something to hold on to.
“Senator, we’re ready.”
I stood, letting the stylist take the smock covering my clothes, and walked toward the soundstage, taking my seat next to Candice McDavers. She was an ultraconservative radio and television personality in Texas, who had no qualms about getting down to the nitty gritty. She had a reputation for ruffling feathers, especially with the good old boys of Southern politics, something I couldn’t help but love about her. She’d invited me to visit the next time I returned home to Austin and so I took her up on her offer. Today’s interview would be the perfect stage to discuss the highlights of the No Bride Initiative. With any luck, she wouldn’t question me about the election or the pictures.
Who was I kidding? Those would be the first things she asked about.
The stage signal turned from red to green, indicating we were on air.
“Senator Camden, thanks for joining us today. Before we discuss your work with No Bride, I wanted to start with your opinion on last night’s third presidential debate. The polls show Ashur Kumar as the clear winner against President Henry Edgar and Democrat Baron Johnson. What are your thoughts?”
And I was right. Candace knew a story and I’d given the media plenty to chew over.
“It is hard to have an unbiased opinion when two of the men are friends of mine.”
I could almost hear Samina chanting “Liar, Liar” in my ear.
“You’re referring to the president and Mr. Kumar?”
“Yes, both are strong men who made valid points. They both represent the conservative values our nation needs.” I paused, knowing what I said next would ruffle a few feathers. I was finished playing a game where pompous assholes threatened me into falling in line. “However, I must agree with the polls. The president missed opportunity after opportunity to show how he will refocus his agenda to one that would benefit most Americans, if not all. Instead of turning around the negative views of his presidency, he emphasized why the majority of Americans disapprove of his performance in the White House.”
A flash of surprise crossed Candice’s face. The public still thought the president favored me, and not throwing my complete support behind him wouldn’t go unnoticed by her or the audience.
Candice recovered quickly and then asked, “Could you give the audience an example?”
I nodded. “On the issue of veterans’ benefits. By personally attacking a decorated war veteran like Kumar on his service record, the president missed a chance to show the voters he understood the sacrifice the men and women of the military make every day. He was so focused on tearing Ashur Kumar’s reputation that he never answered the question about what he would do to improve the benefits crisis plaguing the military health care system. His stance made him look as if he couldn’t relate.”
“So, what you’re saying is that since the president has never experienced combat, he shouldn’t have an opinion?”
I wanted to glare, but I kept calm. “No, I’m saying that as the leader of our military, he needed to show his support for those who have put their lives on the line instead of criticizing them.”
A roar of applause broke out.
“Would your passionate response be due to the fact you are working with the future Mrs. Kumar on the No Bride Initiative?”
“My work with Tara Zain has the full support of the first lady. It is a bipartisan project that seeks to end child enslavement and the practice of child brides. My work with Tara has nothing to do with American politics and everything to do with saving lives.”
“I agree. That is, after all, why you are with us today. Let’s discuss the details of what has become the first lady’s pet project.”
I almost sighed in relief. The last thing I wanted to do was talk Ashur, because I knew, without a doubt, it would lead to questions about the pictures of Veer and me.
It took another fifteen minutes of discussion before the inevitable question arose. I knew better than to hope I’d escaped the inquiry into my relationship with Veer.
“I can’t end this without discussing the pictures of you and Governor Veer George.”
My hands shook slightly before I wrestled them under control. Candice watched me, analyzing every microscopic detail about me.
“With the recent end of your engagement, many of us are curious if your relationship with the governor was the cause and if you two are a couple or just friends?”
I squared my shoulders and stared into the camera pointed in my direction. “Governor George was not the reason Kevin and I decided marriage wasn’t best for us. Our reasons for breaking up are private, and we remain the closest of friends.”
“What about the governor? What is the status of your relationship? The pictures posted a few weeks ago say you are more than friends.”
“Those were private moments leaked by people who are intimidated by a woman in power. I’m not ashamed to admit Veer George and I had an intimate relationship in the past. What better person to fall in love with than someone who is your best friend?”
“Does that mean you two are a couple?”
I shook my head, and I kept my face emotionless, holding in tears and the pain as I’d trained myself to do over the past few weeks. “We parted ways to pursue our different ambitions.”
Her eyes softened, telling me she saw past the polished image I displayed. This reporter was a barracuda who wasn’t easy on anyone. I guessed she felt sorry for me.
“Some would say you have the same ones—after all, he is the vice-presidential candidate.”
“I won’t deny that my goal is to one day hold the highest office in the country, but it’s not my time. I’m a junior senator who is barely thirty-two. In a few more years, I’ll be ready.”
“Thank you, Senator Camden. Please come back again.”
Once we were given the signal that we were off air, I stood, letting the
production assistant take off my microphone, and then I moved toward Trisha, who waited for me off set.
“Senator Camden.”
I turned.
“Can I ask you one last question, off the record?”
I nodded and braced myself for whatever Candice was about to ask. Anything off the record would mean it was something personal. At this point, I was too raw to hide anything.
Candice remained quiet for a second and then asked, “You are poised to be the frontrunner for your party in four years, no matter who wins this year’s election. Would you give it up if he asked you to?”
We both knew the “he” she referred to was Veer.
“Yes,” I answered, not thinking twice that nosy media personnel surrounded me. It wasn’t as if it would make a difference. Then I added, “But he would never ask me to do that. He’s too good of a man to make me pick him over my dreams.”
Veer and I were over. I’d accepted the fact my ambition had ruined what we had. I knew it was time to move on.
She responded with another question, but I’d started walking.
“Let’s meet tomorrow morning. I’m exhausted and want a night alone,” I said to Trisha as I approached her.
With a nod and a weary smile, she gave me my handbag. She’d watched the interview and understood the hole I’d created. No doubt party leaders were going to ream me as soon as they heard what I’d said. I’d all but endorsed Ashur’s ticket.
At this point, I couldn’t give a damn what anyone thought. Ashur and Veer were men of integrity who’d done more for our country as children of immigrants than those whose families had lived in the US for generations.
I took the elevator down and stepped out the doors before they could completely open. The cool breeze mixed with the light fall heat and clung to my sensitive skin, giving slight ease to the turmoil churning inside my being. However, with each step I took toward my car, the weight of my loss weighed down on my shoulders. By the time I entered the limousine, I was on the verge of sobbing.
