by J. S. Scott
Finally, she simply said, “Thank you.”
“For what?” Kade asked, confused.
Asha wasn’t sure she could really explain, wasn’t sure exactly how to express the way she felt. “For making me feel like a desirable woman,” she answered simply. How long had she felt broken and defective because her female organs were incapable of producing a child? “I don’t feel so damaged anymore.”
Kade’s arms tightened around her reflexively. “If you think you’re damaged, you should see my fucked-up leg,” he grumbled.
“You should see my screwed-up lady parts,” she retorted lightly, trying to make fun of herself to take Kade’s mind off his injury. Honestly, she’d never seen her damaged parts. She just knew she was internally flawed.
“If that’s an invitation, I’d be more than happy to see them,” Kade’s sexy baritone voice offered hopefully. “They all felt perfect to me, but I’d love to do a closer examination.”
Realizing exactly what she’d said to distract him, Asha laughed delightedly, beginning to feel a feminine power that she’d never experienced before. Her laughter ended in a short cough, a little residual effect of her illness.
“Dammit. I forgot that you’re still sick,” Kade said as though he were irritated with himself.
“I’m fine,” she told him adamantly.
Kade lifted her gently from the counter, letting her slide down his body before she found her feet. “You’ll rest before we eat dinner,” he replied anxiously, righting her clothes before taking her hand and tugging her gently to lead her out of the kitchen.
Asha barely had time to scoop up her purse and bag before she followed him.
“I can find a place to stay, Kade. You don’t have to put me up while I’m working,” Asha said nervously.
The hair at back of Kade’s neck stood on end. The thought of Asha wandering around Tampa, looking for a place to stay, while still not fully recovered from her pneumonia, made him want to throw her over his shoulder and deposit her in his bed with him there to watch over her. There was no fucking way she was leaving his house right now. Finding out she had been abused by her asshole of an ex-husband had nearly made him come unglued. “You’re staying,” he answered simply. “And you’re not a damn employee. You’re a guest.”
Kade passed his own bedroom regrettably, leading her to the room across from his and opening the door. It was only room he’d skipped on their tour. He smiled as he entered, knowing immediately that Mia and Maddie had been here. It was the only room in his entire house liberally splashed with color. “Your room,” he told Asha, completely certain he was going to be hard every single night knowing she was sleeping across the hall from him. He was used to her draping her sweet body over his, seeking him out in her sleep. Fuck! He was going to miss that. But he needed to stop pushing her, needed to let her get used to him and his world. Stubbornly, he wanted her to come to him, want him. Having her here would be both heaven and hell, but after finding out about her abuse, he needed to stifle his caveman instincts.
Her mouth dropped open as she moved slowly forward, her eyes darting around the room. “It’s beautiful,” she said reverently as her hand smoothed over the colorful quilt on the king-sized bed.
Mia and Maddie had outdone themselves. Bright pictures and wall-hangings decorated the walls, and the quilt she was stroking had every color of the rainbow bursting from the material. Kade opened the closet, already knowing what he would find. He’d asked Mia and Maddie to fix up his guest room and make it as happy and colorful as possible. Giving them Asha’s size from her spare clothing, he’d also requested that they stock her some clothes. Judging by the full closet, they’d taken his request seriously. “Mia and Maddie got you some clothes.”
Asha turned and looked at the closet, coming up beside him to finger the materials. “Which ones?” she asked cautiously.
“All of them are yours. I let my sister and Maddie pick them out. I just told them you like colorful things.”
“Why would they do this?” Asha said uncomfortably, holding her buttonless shirt closed with her hand.
“I’ve seen them. I’ve played with them. I’ve had my mouth on them, which was one of the most amazing moments of my life. You don’t have to hide your breasts from me,” he told her, amused.
Asha’s face flushed from his comment, but she didn’t acknowledge it. “I can’t accept these. Every one of these is designer labeled. My whole wardrobe has never been worth what one single shirt in this collection costs,” Asha told him adamantly, looking up at him with a frown. “Why would someone I don’t know buy me clothes?”
Her brow crinkled when she was upset, making Kade want to smooth it out with his fingers and lips. “Because I asked them to do it and they wanted to do it. You don’t like the outfits?”
“They’re beautiful, but I can’t accept. You’ve done far too much for me, and you already gave me gifts.”
“Yeah, you can. They were a gift from your sister. And there isn’t a limit on giving gifts.” The stubborn woman needed clothes, and she was taking them.
“I don’t have a sister,” Asha answered warily.
“You do have a sister and a brother. And these are just clothes. It’s not a big deal. If it makes you feel any better, Maddie married one of the richest men in the world, Sam Hudson. She wanted to do this for you.” Kade knew Asha already knew the details about her probable siblings, but she obviously wasn’t ready to accept the reality. He didn’t have a doubt in his mind that she was related to Max and Maddie. Her mother had the same maiden name, and Asha had showed him a photo of her mother with her natural father, a picture that showed an older, but very similar, version of the photo that Max had of his natural mother, Alice. “Why is it so hard to accept that Max and Maddie are your sister and brother? I know it’s a shock. Maddie was surprised to find Max. But she was happy.”
Asha’s eyes started to water, and she turned her back on him and sat gingerly on the bed. “I’ve never had family. My foster parents fed me and clothed me, but I was never really one of them. They took me in before they had two children of their own. I never really belonged, and I felt the distance. It’s hard to explain without sounding like I’m feeling sorry for myself. I’m grateful to them. But I was never really part of the family.” Tears flowed down her cheeks, her eyes guarded. “I’m afraid, scared to believe in something that might not be true. What if I love them and they don’t love me back? What if I’m not really their sister?”
Kade’s chest tightened as he looked at Asha, small and vulnerable, yet strong enough to walk away from a relationship with nothing in order to save herself and her sanity. Had anyone ever cared about her unconditionally, just because she was an incredible woman? “You are their sister. And they’ll love you back.” How could they not? “Trust me,” he asked her huskily, knowing trust probably wouldn’t come easy for her, but he wanted it pretty damn desperately. In fact, he was beginning to covet it more than anything else he’d ever wanted.
Asha crossed her legs on the bed, her bare feet peeking out from under her jean-clad legs. She looked up at him wistfully. “Even if we are related, we’re so different. They’re incredibly wealthy and I’m used to being poor. They’re American and I’m Indian—”
“You’re American, too,” Kade growled, annoyed that Asha saw herself as “less than” compared to her siblings. “And even if you weren’t, it wouldn’t matter.”
“We were raised in different cultures. And they both look like our mother,” Asha answered quietly.
“Maddie was a foster child, passed around from family to family, none of them giving a shit about her. She worked her ass off to get through medical school, and she had no family either until Max found her.” Kade sat down on the bed and pulled Asha into his lap. “She’s excited about having a sister. And so is Max.”
“Poor Maddie,” Asha whispered sympathetically. “Is sh
e really happy now? Is Max?”
Kade’s lips turned up in a small smile as he looked at Asha’s troubled expression, touched by how quickly Asha could feel remorse about Maddie’s earlier circumstances. She had a huge heart, just like Maddie. She was more like her sister than she knew. He’d told her everything about Max and Mia’s life, including the torture Max had suffered when Mia had disappeared for two years and was assumed dead. He’d seen the same sweet concern when he’d told her about that horrible time in all their lives.
“They’re both ecstatically happy,” Kade assured her, stroking the silky hair from Asha’s face. “They each married their soul mate. But neither one of them exactly had it easy. And they aren’t so different from you. Their difficulties were just different. They never really had family either, Asha. Give them a chance.”
Give me a chance, too.
Kade knew he was far from being emotionally healthy, but damned if he didn’t feel like being with Asha was healing some of his emotional wounds from his past.
She’s mine.
“Do you believe in soul mates, relationships like Maddie and Max have with Mia and Sam? Do you believe there’s one person in every life made just for you?” Asha asked softly.
A few weeks ago, Kade would have answered with a resounding “hell no.” He’d always been the first one to give Max and Sam hell for being so nauseatingly sappy about their wives. Now, he just didn’t know. He’d been mysteriously drawn to Asha even before he’d met her, through their game of cat and mouse, and then through her drawings. She was like a balm to his battered soul, a remedy for his loneliness. He’d never felt like that about a woman before, and it confounded him. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I do,” he answered as he looked down into her eyes, losing himself in the swirling, molten brown of her gaze. Every cell in his body was calling out for him to claim her as his, and he had to clench his fists behind her back and in her hair to keep from stripping her naked and showing her what it was like to be really wanted by a man so desperately that he had to have her. He wanted to show her what it was like to be respected and cherished.
He didn’t care if she was related to Maddie and Max.
And he couldn’t care less if she couldn’t conceive a child.
He just wanted…her. And he wanted to stake his claim on her so badly that his big body shuddered with need.
“I think so, too. But what happens if you never find that person?” she asked thoughtfully.
You’ve found him. You don’t need to keep looking. You belong with me.
“I think it just happens,” he answered aloud. “If you’re destined to be together, you find each other somehow.”
“My foster mother always told me I was too fanciful. My drawings, my reading, my mind always everywhere except on the practical things in life,” Asha said with a sigh. “I guess in some ways, I didn’t completely conform to being the practical Indian woman they wanted.”
“You don’t need to conform. You come from an Indian heritage, and you can be proud of that. Many Indians are kind people. But you’re also American. And the majority of American women don’t put up with a whole lot of shit.” He lay back on the bed and stretched out his legs, his right calf starting to ache. Catching her around the waist, he pulled her down against him, resting her head on his chest.
Her head popped back up and she looked at him excitedly. “Have you been to India?”
He nodded. “Several times. Harrison Corporation has business interests there.”
“What’s it like?” she asked wistfully. “Isn’t it strange that I was raised in the Indian culture, but I’ve never been there?”
“I’ll take you there one day. At least you can probably speak the language,” he answered jokingly.
“Only if we go to Andhra Pradesh or an area that speaks Telugu,” she answered thoughtfully. “My foster parents and ex-husband were all from there and spoke Telugu. I never learned much Hindi.”
“It always amazes me that two Indians can’t necessarily speak to each other because there are so many languages in India,” Kade answered.
Asha laid her head back down on Kade’s chest and started to fiddle with the buttons on his red shirt that was decorated with dancing banana characters. “I know women get beaten there too,” she said hesitantly. “I’ve been reading a lot about India when I get the chance. The domestic violence there is pretty bad. It’s almost as if it’s acceptable. Are most women treated badly there?”
“Hitting a woman is never acceptable for any reason,” Kade grumbled. “Men who beat women, American or Indian, are fucking cowards, too afraid to pick a fight with someone who might actually win and mess them up.” He sighed as he continued, “I wish I could tell you that things are great, but the domestic violence rate in India is high. I was there on business, and I never was totally immersed in the culture, but it’s still a patriarchal society and there’s a large percentage of men there who don’t value their women the way they should. And equal opportunity is definitely not there, even though there are laws to protect women now. They’re just basically not enforced. The younger generation is trying to bring about change, but it’s an uphill battle.”
“And divorce is still taboo,” she added wistfully.
Kade couldn’t lie. “For the most part…yeah. It’s not widely acceptable. But you aren’t in India, Asha.” Trying to change the subject, he asked curiously, “You’ve never told me why you still use your father’s last name? If you were married, didn’t you take on his last name?”
“My married name was Kota, but I took my father’s name back when I divorced Ravi. I guess it was my way of taking control of my own identity again.”
Kade actually liked the fact that she had taken her father’s name back and no longer carried the name of an asshole. “Will the butterfly ever escape from the cocoon?” he asked distractedly, his hand toying with the silky strands of her hair.
Her head came up and she gave him a shy grin. “It’s a process. Every time I feel like I’m progressing, I’ll make the wings emerge a little further.”
Kade felt his heart lighten at the sight of her smile. He decided that he wanted to see that happy expression on her face constantly, every hour, every minute of every day. She’d seen enough pain and conflict in her twenty-seven years of life. Asha was born to shine, and Kade wanted to make everything easier for her after the fucked-up deal she’d had. “When do you think that might happen?”
She grinned broader. “After that experience on the kitchen counter, I think I at least need to poke another tiny bit of the wing from the cocoon.”
Kade groaned inwardly, his swollen cock twitching with the desire to do some poking of its own. Her smile made his heart swell, and the fact that she was comfortable enough with him to mention that earth-shattering, intimate experience now without hesitation made him feel like they were caught up in their own little world.
She belongs with me.
Kade couldn’t stop the possessive, animalistic need to conquer her, to hold her so close she’d never go away. If she did, the light that she’d turned on inside him would die. Something was happening to him, something incredible. And he didn’t want the exhilarating feeling to end. Bit by bit, the darkness inside him was being chased away by Asha’s glowing presence.
With a mock growl, he flipped her over, pinning her body beneath his, and it felt fucking fantastic. Holding her arms captive over her head, he felt carnal satisfaction at having her exactly where he wanted her. “I’d be more than happy to go for making the butterfly emerge completely.” In fact, he was fairly certain he was going to go insane if he didn’t get inside her very soon. He wanted the damned butterfly spreading its wings to hurry up and fly.
Kade felt her body tremble beneath him, her expression part longing and part trepidation. He knew he was pushing her too hard, too fast, but he couldn’t seem to control the urge to take her. Watching her, a
nd feeling her climax beneath his fingers had been incredible, but he wanted to give her more, show her that a woman’s pleasure could be much more than tolerable. And selfishly, he just wanted her to want him.
Gritting his teeth with the pain of wanting to fuck her until she was screaming his name, he watched her face, waiting for a sign—any damn sign—that she wanted the same thing he did, felt the same way he was feeling.
“I’m here to do a job,” she said brokenly. “I can’t do this.”
“Fuck the job. This is about you and me. It’s never been about the job. You’re incredibly talented, and I wish you’d do your magic on every damn wall in this house, but it isn’t why I wanted you here,” he admitted, frustrated.
“You brought me here because of your sister and Max?” she asked, her voice resigned.
“I brought you here because I couldn’t let you go. It’s pretty simple. I just want you,” he said hoarsely, knowing he was giving her enough rope to hang him, but he didn’t give a shit. For once, control and keeping his emotions in check didn’t mean a goddamn thing to him. “I want to breathe in your scent, and I swear, from this day forward, the smell of jasmine will always make my cock hard enough to pound nails. I want to taste your orgasm on my tongue, make you come until you can’t think about anything but me. And I need to be inside you, fucking you until you don’t even know your own name.” Kade swallowed hard, and added, “Then I want you to sleep with me, and I want to keep you so close that you’ll never know another moment of wondering if anybody wants you—because I do, Asha. I want you enough to make up for every person in your life who didn’t.”
She looked at him, her open-mouthed expression completely stunned. “I’m nobody special. I don’t understand.”
Kade dropped his head to her shoulder with a groan, knowing he’d made a complete ass out of himself. “You are special. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
She yanked at her wrists, and Kade released her reluctantly. His mind and body were screaming at him to keep her, but she obviously didn’t understand how he felt. Hell, he didn’t even understand it himself. His feelings for her were out-of-control crazy, but he couldn’t help being a lunatic. His emotions were stronger than his common sense.
