"Guess what, Richard, I'm forty fucking years old too, and I've never been in a relationship either. But at least I had the balls to tell you what I want in life and who I want it with." Tears start to fall her face now. Fuck. "I laid my heart out to you today and you walked all over it. I'm not some charity case. I can take care of myself." She jerks the suitcase off the bed and walks toward the door but I move to stand in her way. "Richard, please move away from the door."
"I can't do that."
"Why, it's not like you want me here."
"That's a bunch of bullshit, and you know it." I yell. Fuck, what am I doing? I never raise my voice, I feel like my guts are being shredded.
There's fear in her face at my outburst. I lower my voice and take a deep breath. "Please, Nicole, there's a battle going on in my head, and I have to straighten it out before I say those words, just give me a little time. Please."
"Fine, Richard, take all the time you need, but until then I will be in the other room.
"Nicole."
"No, Richard! You need to make up your mind! You don't need me in the same bed to cause you more confusion, so please let me by."
I drop my head and concede. "Okay." As she passes by her scent hits me, and it feels like an arrow has just ripped through my heart.
It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon and Beckett called to tell me that the girls can go back home. He wasn't too happy with the idea either, but Mitchell said that since he's put a security system in the house he didn't see why they couldn't go home. So reluctantly, I put Nicole’s suitcase in the Rover, kissed her on the cheek, and watched her drive away.
We only talked a couple times this week. She has been working countless hours to make up for the doctor's appointments she has been taking Sophia to. I didn't make plans with Nicole and I need to figure my fucking life out.
I'm sitting in my office Friday evening staring at the wall wondering how I fucked things up so bad when there is a knock at the door. Beckett sticks his head in and asks to come in. He takes a seat giving me an unusual look then says, "I was just about to leave the office when I received a call from Mitchell. Brad has applied for a gun permit."
"Then I'll see if I can take Nicole out of town for a while. We need some one-on-one time."
"I have to convince Harlow to move in with me this weekend and I know she won't like it, but this will be one of the battles I will win."
I leave the office not knowing if Nicole is even going to be home, but I'll sit and wait if I have to.
Beckett gets to Nicole's house a little after me; he had picked Harlow up from the bakery and brought her home to get her things. She opens the door to let us inside, Harlow says hello and gives me a hug, then walks back to the bedrooms, probably stopping by Nicole's room to talk to her first. "How did she take the news?" I ask.
"Hard. We had a disagreement over her moving in with me, and she demanded more details. I relented, knowing it would be the only way I could coerce her. After I relayed the facts to her, she fainted. She finally realizes how serious this is. She’s been a nervous mess since leaving the bakery and even got sick on the way here. How about Nicole?"
"She was pissed. Not that we didn't enjoy our time together when she stayed the week with me, but she feels that if she is going live with me then she wants it on her own terms. She feels forced into it. I hope this can be settled in the next two weeks. I'm sorry I am leaving you with this."
"Richard, this isn't your fight, so don't worry about it."
"But it is...I don't want anything to happen to Nicole, she's...I'm...God, Beckett, I don't know what I am."
"Yes you do, you're just afraid to say it. You love her, and you will do anything in your power to protect her. Believe me I know. I suffer from the same illness." Beckett slaps me on the shoulder and laughs. "Funny how a couple months ago you thought you were too old for this. Now look at you."
I look at him wide eyed as the blood drains from my face. "You really think that? You think this is love?"
"I know it is, I can recognize the symptoms. You know you're with the right person when no matter how bad things get, you would still rather be with them than anywhere else," he says. "Being in love is one of the most exciting and terrifying moments of your existence. It's scary because it's completely out of your control. The heart wants what the heart wants."
"God, I never thought I would feel this way, Beckett. After my parents had died, I wanted to curl up and die too. Then I met you, I could tell your life had been rough, you had no self-esteem, and I felt like I had to help you. You gave me something to live for when all I wanted to do was vanish. You taught me what is important. Then you brought me someone to love. Beckett..." I pull him to me, hugging him, "I love you, Beckett, I know I haven't told you enough, I guess I felt you knew that already. But I do, and I should have said it more. Thank you for everything you've done for me and taught me. I thought I was the one saving you and in all actuality, you're the one that saved me." I pat him on the back before letting him go. When I do, he looks at my tear-filled eyes.
"Richard, I've always believed that we don't meet people by accident, they are meant to cross our paths for a reason, sometimes we know why, other times we don't. Our lives crossed and that's why we're here right now, the rest will continue to expose itself to us as time goes on."
"How did you get to be so wise at such a young age, Beckett?"
"I don't know if that's wisdom, but it's my belief I've learned to have, probably because of how I was raised and what I went through, I had to believe things were happening to me for a reason, and I held onto that belief. If I didn't think that way, I wouldn't have survived. That's why I know Harlow and I will be together, I have no doubt," he says with certainty.
The girls walk into the living room interrupting our conversation. I clear my throat and, look at Nicole with sweet knowing smile.
"Are you both ready?" he asks.
"Yes,” they reply. Beckett gives Nicole a hug and tells her to relax and enjoy herself. I grab her luggage and put it into the Rover as Beckett takes Harlow's and puts it in the Jeep. Nicole sets the alarm and locks the door as we leave our separate ways.
I've barely talked to Nicole about the vacation that I sprung on her, so I take her to my house since I couldn't get a flight today. We will leave tomorrow morning. I stop at a little Chinese restaurant, pick up dinner, and take it back to the house to eat. I would have taken her out to dinner, but I wanted to have a quiet place to talk.
We finish eating without any real conversation, I know she is still upset with me, and I don't blame her. We sit on the couch as I turn to look at her.
"Richard, I don't think it's a good idea that we leave town tomorrow with the way you feel about us."
"That's it, Nicole, I do feel, for the first time in over seven years I can finally feel, and it's all because of you. You've opened my eyes to love, something that has been locked away." I take her hands in mine as she tilts her head and gives me a quizzical look.
"What are you saying, Richard?"
"I'm saying that I've been a dumb bastard and couldn't admit to seeing or saying what I truly knew deep down inside of me. What I'm trying to say is that, yes, I want you to be the mommy to our babies Nicole. You are everything I've ever wanted in a woman, a wife. Will you marry me?" I pull my mother's engagement ring out of my pocket as I look into her stunned face. Her head has to be spinning and maybe this isn't the best time to ask her, but hell, why wait if I know what I want. Although it's my first chance at love, it's my second chance for my family.
My phone starts to vibrate, but I send the call to voicemail. It vibrates again. Does whoever is calling know that I am waiting for the answer to the most important question in the world? I send it again to voicemail. Nicole is about to answer me when a text floats across the screen. 9-1-1 Oh fuck.
You would think hospitals these days could make it a little more colorful and not so gloomy. The walls are so white and sterile. The lack of color makes me feel as if the walls are clos
ing in on me. I'm pacing the black and white tiled floors waiting for some news, answers, anything. Hushed voices from everyone huddled in a little cluster, their whispers echoing through the waiting room. FUCK! At least have music, anything to take my mind off what's going on.
Finally, after a couple of hours, a man comes out to us in a white lab coat. There is blood on the scrubs underneath and a band of sweat rimming his green surgical scrub cap.
"Mr. Dalton's family?" We all gather around the doctor.
He glares at us with a suspicious look. I speak for everyone. "We're his family." We have all been his family, in one way or another.
"Mr. Dalton has a head injury and he's lost a lot of blood. We ran a CAT scan that showed no bleeding on the brain and no skull fracture, but he did sustain quite a bad concussion. He's currently in a coma." Harlow gasps, her hand flying to her mouth and tears falling down her face. Nicole and I put our arms around her so she doesn't collapse.
"How long will he be in a coma for?” I ask.
"There is no set timeframe on something like this. It could be minutes, hours, or days. It's a way for the brain to heal. He also has several lacerations from hitting the glass. When he does wake up, more than likely he'll have quite a bad headache. So that being said, I'll allow you all in his room as long as it stays quiet. If it gets loud, I'll have to start limiting how many people can be back at a time."
"Thank you, doctor," I say.
"I'll show you back."
The doctor takes us through the secured double doors and back to Beckett's room. I have my arm around Harlow, supporting her so she doesn’t fall. We all walk into the long narrow room. Monitors line the wall and the ominous sounds of the little blips and beeps from the machines fill the room. Beckett has an IV in his arm and multiple wires leading from under his gown to several different machines that let us know he is still alive. The scent that's always the same in every hospital permeates the air. Harlow takes her place at the head of the bed, sitting in the chair with her legs beneath her, quite like a child would sit. She takes his hand in hers, leans in close to his ear and starts talking to him as tears stream down her face, her expression full of fear. Mitchell takes a box of tissues over to her and places it on the bed between her and Beckett.
She looks up at Mitchell through her damp lashes with a solemn, terrified look. "Is he going to be all right?" she asks him.
He gently rubs her back. "As long as I have known him, he's always been a fighter. Now that he's found you again, he'll do everything in his power to get back to you." That's true, he's always been a fighter. Look at the shit he went through as a child. He would do anything to get back to Harlow. I realize Nicole is at my side gently rubbing my back, and I now know what Beckett has with Harlow. Tears burn the back of my eyes as I try to blink them away.
I turn to Nicole and hold her face in my hands. "Thank you for being here for me, I love you, Nicole." I draw her face to mine as I gently kiss her beautiful pink pouty lips.
"Oh Richard, I love you too." She kisses me again as tears escape her eyes. I wipe them away and kiss her forehead.
Mitchell walks up to me. "I need to leave. Can you let me know if he wakes up tonight or if there are any changes?" He looks like shit. The color is drained from his face to the point of almost looking as if he's going to get sick.
"Of course. I probably won't leave until he wakes up."
"I figured that. I'll be back. I need to stay on top of this."
"Mitchell." I reach out and grab his shoulder as he turns to walk away. "Are you okay?"
He looks over his shoulder and says, "I don't know, Richard. I don't know if I ever will be. What I saw today..." I place my hand on his shoulder and look at him sympathetically.
"You know I'm here if you ever need anything. Anything at all. Remember that."
"Thanks, Richard. I appreciate it." I pat him on the back then he slips out the door.
Nicole walks over to me from where she is sitting. I don't even know how long we've been here. It has to be after midnight. "Richard, I'm going to head home, will you walk me out, please?
"Thank you, Nicole, no, I don't need anything other than Beckett to get better. Thank you for staying with me."
She comes close to my ear and whispers, "That's what fiancées do for the men they love, we stand by their sides."
I snap my head around, tears flood my eyes as the realization of her words echo in my head. She holds out her hand. I hadn't even realized my mother's ring was on her finger. My breath hitches and my heart swells as a mixture of shock, surprise, and love must show on my face. "God, Nicole, you have me speechless. Thank you! I will make this day up to ..."
Nicole places her luscious lips on mine silencing me. "I love you, Richard, let me know if there are any changes."
"I will. Oh, Nicole, honey."
She turns toward the door and stops. "Yes."
Standing, I walk over and give her the alarm code to my house. "Please stay at my place. I don't want you at your place alone until he's caught. There is a key on the key ring, and the garage door opener is built into the Rover. Make sure you close the garage door before you get out of the car. I feel bad about not taking you home."
"Your place is here with Beckett, I'm a big girl, I'll be alright. Is the itinerary out somewhere so I can cancel the trip?"
Dropping my head and shaking it, "Hell, I'm sorry, I forgot all about leaving tomorrow. Yes, it's on my desk. Thank you for doing that for me." Disappointment races across her face.
"We'll get away, but you need to be here, this is more important."
"Thank you, honey, I don't know what I did to get so lucky to have such a beautifully smart woman like you." I look at her plump full lips as she licks them.
I pull her out into the hall. I don't want Harlow to have to witness us making out when Beckett is in a coma. "God Nicole, you make me crazy with your sexual innocence." I take her mouth in mine as a carnal rumble rattles my chest. My dick is instantly hard. "Fuck Nicole, you get me in more trouble," I say as I pull away. "Let me tell Harlow that I'm walking you to the car."
"I'll be okay."
"No, it's well after midnight, and I don't want you out there by yourself." I open the door and Harlow looks up at me. "I'll be right back, I'm going to walk Nicole out." Harlow just looks at me. Her face is grey and sullen as sadness clouds her features, tears still running down her tear-swollen eyes as she just nods at me.
"Do you need me to get you anything, coffee, water, juice?"
"No thank you, Richard."
"I'll be right back."
"Okay," she says as she wipes her nose.
When I get back to the room, I pull a couple of blankets, and pillows out of the closet, place the pillow on the bed in front of Harlow, and lay the blanket over her shoulders and back. "Thank you, Richard. I'm sorry about your vacation."
"I haven't had a vacation in eight years, a few more weeks won’t hurt anything,” I say as I give her a weak smile.
"Richard…" I look up at Harlow. "I can't lose him."
I walk back over to her. She stands as I get to her and she throws her arms around my neck and starts to sob, her tiny body trembling and quaking with every excruciating sob that escapes her lips. She sounds like a wounded animal.
"Shhh, it's okay, shhh, he's stronger than you think, there's no way he would leave you, not again. The devil himself wouldn't be strong enough to pull him away from you."
"But he was so weak before ..."
I pull away and look her in the eyes. "Have you not seen our boy lately? Everything he has done in his life has been for you. Don't doubt him, he will surprise you when you least expect it."
"Okay."
I take a tissue and wipe the makeup from under her eyes. "There, now lay your head down and get some rest."
"Thank you, Richard." I cover her back up and do the same when I get to my chair. It doesn't take long for me to drift off, but I never get that good REM sleep since the nurses come in every little
bit to take his vitals.
I don't know that Harlow got much sleep, I heard her crying throughout the night. I sit up stretching my neck from side to side trying to get the kinks out of it before using the restroom. I splash water on my stubbled face and rinse my mouth out with a sample of mouthwash setting on the shelf. Although I haven’t showered, I feel a little more human.
"I'm going to get some coffee, do you want some?" I ask Harlow, but she just shakes her head. Her eyes are so swollen I don't know how she can see out of them.
I walk into the patient kitchen area that houses the coffee, water, snacks, and a little refrigerator. I find a baggie in the cabinets, fill it with ice, and pour myself a cup of hot black sludge. I think I'll need it after the night I had. Back in the room, I hand the ice pack to Harlow. "Put it on your eyes, you wouldn't want Beckett to see you when you can't see him."
"Thank you, Richard."
She lays her head on the pillow placing the ice pack on her eyes, her crying has stopped at least for a while.
Nicole calls me to check on Beckett's condition. She's going to take the kids to the park at the zoo and have a picnic with them. Now that our vacation is on hold, we won't worry about Sophia and the children. Maybe when we do leave Harlow can check up on her.
"You love her don't you?"
The question pulls me back, I hadn't expected Harlow to speak, and it surprises me. I look at her pale face, her arms wrapped around herself as she rubs her eyes and yawns.
"You're going to marry her."
"Yes I do and yes I am, as soon as I can." I'm surprised that she even noticed with everything that was going on last night.
"How did you know?"
"I can see how you both light up when you're together. Even on the phone your face just beams. I've never seen her happier as I have seen since she met you. Thank you, she's needed someone for years, and from what Beckett has told me, so have you."
"Well, I've had other things on my mind, and to be honest, I didn't know what I was missing until Nicole. In fact, it was Beckett that finally talked me into the idea of seeing someone." I look into her face and a smile blooms across it with the mention of his name. She then looks down at Beckett's lifeless body, and the smile fades away as her eyes well up with tears once again. "Harlow, Beckett has worked too hard to leave you like this. So wipe the tears, he wouldn't want to see you like this." She nods her head and with a tissue wipes her tears away.
Never Expected Love Page 14
