Shit, shit, shit! Oh God. I knew Hannah suspected she’d been killed, but at the back of my mind I always thought that maybe, just maybe, she got away and vanished, so they couldn’t find her.
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“No,” he says, looking right at me in a way that makes my chest clench. “It was theirs. It was the Rubens who lured their daughter home with the promise of forgiveness and then let the Banes clan kill her. I blame Banes and every son that animal has. Mostly I blame your father, Julia, because the truth is, I’d had more than one meeting with the male to get him to help me get things to change, and he refused.”
This time when our eyes meet I don’t see sorrow or guilt or even the softness that I’ve glimpsed in him, for me. I see hatred.
Pure hatred.
“Blain, surely—”
“Do you want to know what your father told me the day I petitioned him to overthrow the Banes mating claim for Jessa?” he asks softly.
“What?” I ask huskily, my throat tight when he sneers at me, as if he associates me with my dad’s decisions.
“He said that elite females are free to make their own choices. That if Jessa wanted to marry money so much, it was all on her. He refused to listen to my pleas about the dangers, sent me away with the advice that the next time I fall in love with a female I should choose one who wanted more than money.”
“Oh no.”
God, I can hardly believe it, and yet I know it’s true because my dad has a hard-line attitude towards elite anybody after the attempted impeachment they tried on him. If you can even call it that. Basically, they all formed one council unit and tried to enforce a pack vote to make Dad step down.
After that, Dad was all out of love for those folks—even after Mom told him that not all elite are the same. Hell, my own mother is from that background, and she isn’t anything like those females. Most days.
“Oh yes. So you see, they all could have done something, myself included, and yet Jessa died, horribly, while everyone just went on with life.”
Including him, I think, watching him down his drink and pour another. Blain feels guilty and what I think is that he’s punishing himself as much as he wants to punish the others. I think it hurts to know that he was helpless and that all of this is him trying to kill himself as much as hurt those involved. Dad included.
Not that I blame him. Part of the reason I got angry with Dad is because I agree with Cass and Blain that my father needs to revise his leadership skills from the last few years. We are all one pack, one people, and he shouldn’t treat one class differently because of the past.
“I think…I agree with you on that, though to be honest, honey, I don’t think getting revenge will change a thing until you grieve Jessa.”
Jesus, it sucks to say that, as if I need one more thing getting in the way of us mating and being happy. On top of all that, I still have the specter of him being arrested hanging over our heads, and let’s not forget that in reality, we’re not exactly love birds here.
Sure, the guy is sweet-ish, but he’s more morose than anything else most days, and that is just not me.
Blain blinks, obviously stunned by what I just said and throws his head back to laugh, hard. And for a long time. Yay! I’m comic relief now.
Oh chill! He’s just trying to unwind after that long-ass, boring, so not a love story.
Don’t you sleep, female?!
With three little demons dancing on my bladder? Pshaw! If I fall asleep, my mate will be floating in seconds. I’m uncomfortable, talk to me.
I’m having a heart to heart with my male, Hannah. Can this wait?
Jesus, fine! Be selfish. I’ll just listen.
She grumps constantly while I wait and wait and wait for Blain to stop laughing and then purse my lips to stop myself from cursing him.
“That was not very nice.”
“Give me a break, malina. Grieve? It was years ago, and besides, what will that help? The only thing I have is the vow I made years ago to exact revenge in her honor, and that is what I’ll do.”
Someone call Liam Nieson! This male is off the hook.
I ignore that comment, promising myself I’ll laugh later because she’s nuts. And hilarious.
“Revenge? On whom? The Banes? Rubens? Dad? What then, Blain? What about afterwards when the pack is left without an Alpha, and you’re either dead or in a cell? What then, because I can tell you that I don’t think I want to see you hurt here, and I sure as shit don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life,” I tell him honestly, knowing that I will never mate another male.
Not knowing what I know now, which is that Blain is mine. He’s perfect for me in all his mean, grumpy, morose ways. He’s sweet, and he can be a perfect mate. If he wants to be.
“I won’t—”
“Get caught? You think so, but I know Logan and Jock, and they’ll carry out their duty. That duty is currently to investigate the last few years of your life. All those past lays you spoke of? That’s the least of your worries!” I yell, rising to storm to the window and stare out at nothing.
I hear Blain sigh and stand to come to me, his arms circling my waist as his chin comes down on my head. I know he doesn’t want to argue with me. I mean, I still feel like scrambled eggs on the side walk, but he’s not exactly giving me hope here.
Maybe it’s time that I did the hope stuff, just jumped into this without holding back no matter what he throws at me. It’s scary as hell, but I can do it.
You do it, girl!
“I want a mating, a real one where I get to love my male and be happy every day, no matter what life throws at me because I know I’ll have him to protect me. I want young running around the house, and I want to know that if my son turns fourteen and has an early shift that you’ll be here to comfort him and help guide him through it. I want to know that my daughters will have a father who will love them no matter what they do or how many mistakes they make. Mostly, I just want to know that I can have all of those things. With you,” I say softly, ignoring Hannah’s gasp of horror and feminist rantings.
I stay completely still, not daring to move when Blain stiffens and it takes everything I have inside me not to pull away and give in to the anxiety that I feel when he remains silent for so long it hurts to even breathe.
“I don’t know what to say to that,” he admits.
I close my eyes, not wanting to give freedom to the tears that gather there, and clear my throat when a lump forms there.
“I guess that’s answer enough then.”
“Malina, I—”
“Don’t. I understand why you’re so angry, Blain. Trust me, after the last few days I totally get what it feels like for an ‘elite’ to walk into a store and not be wanted. I get it. I just…I didn’t think that things would be over before they began.”
He pulls me back into his chest and leans closer to press his face into my throat, the feel of his lips pressing there causing goose bumps to shiver under my skin.
I want to just relax back and take what I can get and say screw the rest of it, but I can’t. I need a commitment because I know about the banishment that will happen if Blain is taken from me, and it’s a sad fact that that isn’t even my biggest problem with it. It would be losing Blain.
Seems you never even had him.
This thought is mine since Hannah has withdrawn and left me alone. How much does it suck that I feel heartbroken so soon into this?
“Baby, don’t. Don’t say that before things happen. Let’s just be together and give this a go.”
“I can’t just forget that—”
“I’m not asking you to, Jules. I’m asking you to try with me. I’m not good at this love shit, I’ll be the first to admit it, but I want to at least try. You think I don’t want this with you? You’re mine. I blooded you, and I damn well intend to mate you the first fucking chance I get. That being said, I need you to trust in me and choose me.”
“I have. Don’t you understand that?
I chose you the minute I ignored my father and claimed you in the waiting room of the clinic! This isn’t something I can change, and even if I could, I don’t want to. I like you and your crazy-ass mother! I don’t want to see you hurt!” I cry out, gasping when he spins me and shoves his hands into my hair to hold me still.
The kiss he gives me is weird and hot and intimate, and I don’t even care that half my teeth are only just coming out of my gums. I kiss him back and grab onto him, wanting to cling when he pulls away and looks down at me with lust-filled eyes.
“I will give you all of those things, malina, I swear it. All I ask is that you trust me.”
It’s the hardest thing I have ever done in my life to look up at him and give in, knowing that I am destined to be hurt.
“Okay.”
Chapter Fourteen
Jules
I step beneath the shower spray and hum a tune, giggling when I whistle and it comes out normal because I woke up around seven and my teeth were in full force.
Yay! I have teeth.
I grab the shampoo and wash my hair while singing an off-key rendition of Queen, my favorite oldie band, though Lord above knows my mom would slaughter me if she ever heard me refer to them that way.
I’m so intent on shaking my groove thang, I scream blue murder when arms wrap around me and yank me back.
“You’ve got absolutely no talent for singing, female,” Blain drawls, laughing when I gasp and try to cover my bits. “So shy, malina. After I ate out your—”
“Blain!” I wheeze, my chest puffing with gulps of air when he pulls my body against his and leans down to lick my neck, his mouth sucking at the skin strongly enough that I know I will have a bruise there later.
“But it’s true, baby. I devoured every inch of that slice, and here you are fretting about your breasts that are…phenomenal,” he says, shoving my hands away to cup them.
I moan, forgetting that I should be horrified and embarrassed, and lean back against him, my ass cradled against a part of him that feels very big. Oh God, it is big, I think, recalling the size of the shaft he made me ride just a few mornings ago.
“Wha…what are you doing?” I squeak, my voice ending on a moan when he pinches my nipples hard and tightens his palms on my breasts.
“Mating my female, what does it look like?” he muses, growling a protest when I turn, forcing his hands to drop from my breasts.
“Mate? As in…” I gulp, my eyes blinking away water that keeps falling to plaster my hair to my head.
Blain bites his lip to hide a grin, but he totally ruins the effort when he barks out a laugh and shakes his head with a smile of disbelief.
“Babe, what did you think would happen after I blooded you?” he asks, his hands going down to my ass to cup the globes.
I moan when he pulls them apart and slides his fingers through my slit from the back, teasing me where I ache so much I am always wet for him. I’m still in heat, even more so now that I’ve healed and the hours have all caught up with me.
It hurts inside, like fingers of fire lancing me, and yet it’s good too because I can feel the need pulsing inside.
I want him. God, how I want him. Inside me. Filling me so full this ache will dissipate and only leave behind the feel of him.
Maybe we’re not perfect together, not as most pairs are, but to me he still is and probably will always be the only male I want. I sigh when he pierces a finger inside me, the tip stopping to scrape at my hymen where my innocence awaits him.
The touch is not altogether pleasant because it tingles with a throbbing ache, but it brings with it some pleasure that has my body releasing yet more moisture.
“You’re always wet. I smell it whenever you’re near, and it drives me crazy. I remember the taste of you, the way you felt inside when I had my hands and cock on you, and it’s been torture waiting for you to decide,” he says and growls, leaning down to devastate me with a bone-melting kiss.
I taste his tongue against mine and duel with it, my desperate need going molten when he pulls his fingers back and pushes in again, always stopping right at that point of no return.
I gasp, shocked when he scrapes against something deep inside me, and scream when he applies pressure, rubbing in fast circles while his thumb grinds into my clit.
“Blain.”
“You’re so good, bria. I can’t wait to get inside this tight, wet tunnel and fuck you till you come all over me.”
“Do it. Please,” I beg, my sex clenching around his fingers when he removes them.
I groan, protesting the action, and he leans down to kiss me again before lifting me in his arms and turning the water off. Once we’re out, he towels us both off quickly and then pins me to the wall, his cock digging into my slit while he feasts on my mouth.
I move, needing friction against my clit, and hum in pleasure when he complies, sliding himself between my lips and controlling my lips to slide me on and off him.
We don’t stop kissing and the double stimulation sends my arousal higher, taking me to a place where all I can do is feel and want and cry out when I need more.
“Sssh, just feel it. Let it take you, and come on me, bria. I want you all over me before I slide into that tight channel.”
I obey simply because I don’t have a choice and feel my climax build with every slide against my flesh. His shaft is wet with me, gleaming when I look down to watch him pulling me over his erection, my sex slipping all over him before he snarls and concentrates the movement with my clit bumping against the crown over and over until all I can do is throw my head back and scream.
Rapture slams me, explodes through every cell of my body before twisting into a tight knot low in my abdomen and forcing a scream of pain from me.
Heat. Heat fills me, and now instead of wanting, I need him with a desperation that I can’t describe. I hurt, even as I come, because he isn’t inside me, filling me like I need him to.
“Oh God, oh pleeeease! It hurts, Blain. I…I need you!” I yell, gasping when he snarls and stalks for the bed where he throws me down and pulls me to the edge, pushing my thighs open roughly.
“This will hurt a little. The pre-cum I shoot into you should ease you, but it still stings a little.”
I would be jealous that he knows that. Hell, I am, but every thought I have evaporates when I feel him press the head of his cock to my entrance and push in.
He gets in a few inches and stills, his face set in a mask of pain before he snarls and tightens his hands on my thighs. I feel his fluids fill me in short bursts, the wet heat pulsing into me to both sooth and thrill my muscles.
It feels like we stay that way forever, me writhing while he holds me still and forces me to be patient.
I can’t! Oh God, it feels so good, and yet it isn’t nearly enough, I think, ignoring the burn when he presses forward a little more, accustoming me to his thickness.
I feel him everywhere, like a battering ram that is opening me up, but the pain is nothing compared to what it feels like having him fill me finally. I need more, and he must sense that because he stares down at me through glowing blue eyes and bites into his lip before slamming into me in one long thrust.
Pain blooms when he pierces my hymen but fades fast, disappearing on the heels of a bliss that I can’t explain but to say I feel complete. Blain stills once he’s in, his body shaking with the force of his control, as he pulses out more pre-cum and waits for me to adjust.
“Sweet God in heaven. You’re so tight it hurts me, baby. Fuuuuck, don’t tighten or I’ll come right this minute.”
I want him to. I know on an instinctive level that if he comes, I’ll stop burning inside where my womb is on fire with lust. I want it all. I want to be filled so deeply I smell of him.
Blain snarls and I realize I’ve been screaming every word out loud when he presses my legs back to my ears, comes over me ,and takes me so hard I throw my head back and scream out an orgasm.
The pleasure is a hard explosion that only g
ets better when I feel him sink his teeth into me and come.
# # # #
Blain
The climax that tears through me when I put the biting claim to my female is so intense I feel my toes curl and every part of my body go tight and stiff as it pours through me. I come and come, the flow of seed never ending when she yells out my name, mine, and convulses again.
I smell her heat, the cream between her legs and sense the calming of her fever when her body finally stops and she sags beneath me. The last shot drains me so much I groan when my balls cramp, the fuckers trying to give her more of what I have to give.
“Christ,” I mutter, swallowing a curse when little contractions flow over my still erect cock and suck at the oversensitive crown.
I pull out—not because I want to—but because I can’t stop myself, and I lower my head to lick her, the age old shifter tradition of healing the innocent forcing my instinct into gear.
Jules moans, jerking when I push my tongue deep, my growl of satisfaction when I taste only her reaffirming my belief that I shot deep and none of me will pour out.
The tang of her juices and the slight coppery taste of her blood fills my senses, and I lick until I scent her healing before sliding into bed beside her and pulling her into my side.
She comes easily, blinking up at me sleepily when I kiss her mouth one last time and try to convince myself my dick isn’t hard again. She needs to rest, no matter that I’m hard again.
I can deal with it; it’s just a shifter male thing, always being hard around a Fated mate. Besides, I’m pretty sure if I come again, my balls may explode.
“Blain?”
“Yes, bria?” I murmur when she snuggles closer and kisses my chest.
“Thank you for honoring me, my male.”
My throat is thick as I swallow and kiss her forehead before clearing my throat and sighing with repletion.
“Thank you for having me, my female. Thank you for giving me your innocence.”
I hear her hum before her breaths even out and she sleeps beside me peacefully.
Mine.
Greyriver Shifters Page 108
