Karen glared at him. “Mention her again and I’m going for another five miles…uphill.”
Zach lifted his hands in surrender. “Did I say something?”
She moved closer to the oversize pond and sat on a fallen log. He parked himself beside her and picked up a handful of rocks from the forest floor. He tossed one into the water and watched the ripples flow from the center of impact. After a few pebbles made it to the water, Karen picked up her own and joined him.
She grunted with a particularly forceful throw and Zach decided it was time for a diversion. Whatever weighed on her mind was getting worse and not better.
“When we were kids,” he started, “my friends and I would sneak up here to fish.”
After a couple more tossed pebbles, she asked. “Why did you have to sneak?”
“Old man Beacon didn’t like kids in his pond. He’d stock it every few years but wanted the bounty all to himself.”
“Seems like a long way to walk for an old guy.”
“That’s what we’d thought until he came at us with a shotgun.”
Karen’s horrified expression made him laugh.
“He’d fire a round in the air and we’d shit ourselves getting away. I’d lay money on finding all our old fishing poles in his barn.”
“The burned-down barn?”
Zach tossed another rock. “You heard about that?”
“Judy’s my history teacher for Hilton.”
Zach wanted to ask what Mike had told her about the town, but mentioning the man who drove her on her aimless walk would rank up there with bringing up crazy Aunt Belle.
“After Beacon died, a few of my friends and I came up here and toasted the old man.”
“Toasted the man who came at you with a shotgun? I’m surprised he didn’t get arrested.”
“He was harmless. Probably laughed when he collected our fishing poles and the buckets of fish we’d caught.” He scratched the stubble of his beard. “Come to think about it, we were never run off until after we’d spent half the day here and had a crap-load of fish.”
Karen smiled now, and the effect on her face was this side of magical. “Sneaky bastard.”
“Smart.”
“Too bad he’s not around for that affair.”
Zach laughed at that.
This time when Karen laughed, her smile grew and she winced. She brought her fingertips to her lips and that’s when he noticed the swelling.
He couldn’t stop his hand from reaching toward her and touching. She lowered her eyes and didn’t look at him as his thumb lightly swept over her lips.
His heart rate sped up again, only now it was with a strong desire to lay a fist into his brother’s face.
“He should never have kissed you like that.”
Karen easily backed away from his hand but kept silent.
Although Karen didn’t seem like a woman who would put up with abuse, Zach had to ask. “Has he done that before?”
She shook her head. “No. And he won’t be given a chance to do it again.” Her words were bitter and full of anger.
What does that mean? It killed him not to ask.
Karen changed the subject. “Did you ever bring girls up here and give Beacon something interesting to watch?”
“Oh, no…Hilton’s inspiration point is up by my family’s cabin.”
She stood and grabbed a handful of rocks. Leaning over, she attempted to skip a rock over the flat surface of the water only to see it fall into the pond without a bounce.
“Isn’t the cabin several miles away?” The next rock she skipped bounced once.
“Far enough away to not get caught.”
“Is there such a place in this town?” The next three rocks dropped into the water.
Zach stood up behind her. He took her hand in his and slowly guided her in the right motion to skip the rock. “It’s in the wrist.”
He demonstrated and skipped it four times before it gave up and fell in.
Karen tried again, failed. Zach placed one hand on her shoulder, the other on her arm. Her next attempt skipped the rock three times.
He kept a hand on her shoulder, unable to move away as she skipped a few more.
She straightened her spine and he expected her to move away. Instead, she leaned back into his arms and sighed.
He held her and they both stared out over the water in silence.
Zach looked down when her hand reached up to caress his arm. The simple touch spoke volumes.
He placed his lips next to her head and indulged in the peachy smell of her hair. He closed his eyes and savored the moment.
“If I turned around right now,” she whispered, “I’d want you to kiss me.”
Zach forgot to breathe. His arms tightened around her as he soaked her in. Her honesty humbled him. “I’d want to taste you, too.”
Instead of acting, they stood there and enjoyed their embrace.
When Karen moved away, Zach let her.
Chapter Twelve
The house was quiet when Zach walked her up to the steps.
“Looks like everyone is still at the park.”
“Sunday dinners go well into the night,” Zach explained.
The walk back from Beacon’s pond wasn’t nearly as intense as walking toward it. Karen and Zach had come to a strange understanding. The attraction was there, but neither of them planned to act on it. Yet she knew, without a doubt, that if she needed him, he’d be there. She wanted to cry when she realized that Michael used to be that for her.
Her hike to Beacon’s pond reminded her of a different time in her life. Where the murky waters of reality darkened her life and made her question everything. If Michael hadn’t been a friend to her, she would have used every means necessary to bring him to his knees for what he’d pulled at the park. But because she knew, on a deeper level than most, that he acted out of fear, she allowed him his indiscretion. Not that he wouldn’t pay for his abuse, he would. But she didn’t feel he needed to give up everything.
If he did it twice, however…he wouldn’t do it twice. Karen was certain of it.
“Are you going to be all right?” Zach asked.
She’d survived her parents. She could do this. “I’ll be fine.”
He held out his hand.
She looked at it, not sure what he wanted.
“Your phone.”
She fished it out of her back pocket and handed it to him. He punched in his number and handed it back to her.
“I’m never more than ten miles away.”
A strange laugh escaped her. “This is such a freaking small town.”
He laughed with her. “Yeah. It is.”
Laughter faded and she gave him a wistful grin. “Thanks for keeping me from getting lost.”
He tucked his hands in his pockets. “You’re welcome.”
Then, like a schoolgirl, she turned and walked into a parental house and closed the door. She leaned against it for several minutes before she worked her way upstairs.
She fell back onto the bed she’d been sharing with Michael for the last few days and draped an arm over her eyes.
Her mind drifted, probably because of the stress of the day, to her parents.
The pain she’d tried hard to forget for years bubbled to the surface and threatened tears. She’d be damned if she’d allow one more wasted tear on them.
Her mother had abandoned her when she needed her most.
If it wasn’t for her Aunt Edie, Karen would have gone the way of many homeless teens.
Michael and his millions were her ticket to helping others, but she wasn’t willing to sell herself out to obtain them.
In her back pocket, she felt her phone buzz. She’d considered ignoring it, but looked to see who called.
There were three missed calls from Michael with messages. She didn’t bother listening to what he had to say.
Then there was a text from Judy.
Where are u?
She didn’t need the entire Gardner family search
ing the small streets of Hilton looking for her. Karen tapped her chin, then texted.
Have a splitting headache. At the house.
She waited until the next buzz.
You’re FOS. Mike is frantic. Did u fight?
Judy might be several years younger than Karen, but damn if she wasn’t in tune with life.
U R right. Tell your brother to screw off.
Karen hit Send as she picked herself off the bed and walked down to the kitchen. She found a bottle of wine and pulled the cork before the buzz came in from Michael’s sister.
Ohhh, someone’s sleeping on the couch tonight!
Karen saluted Judy in an empty kitchen. “Good idea, sister.”
Karen sent one last text.
Xoxo
She sat on the sofa and waited for Michael. Because blood was thicker than water Judy would tell Michael that she was at the house, and if he held any remorse, he’d show up as fast as his feet could carry him.
When the door swung open ten minutes later, Karen kept her eyes focused on the ridiculous crocheted plant hanger that went out of style sometime in the seventies.
Michael approached her with slow steps. He sat on the coffee table in front of her when she refused to meet his gaze.
“I’m so sorry.”
She blinked. Debated what she’d say to him. Because she did love him as a friend and felt he’d violated that friendship with his own drama, she told him something she’d never uttered to another human being.
“When I was thirteen my father stepped into my room one night and kissed me as no father should ever kiss his daughter.”
Michael’s eyes grew wide. His skin paled.
“I pushed him away but he came back and forced himself on me again. When I told my mother, she called me a liar. The day after I told her, they both left. I sat in the house for almost a week before I realized they weren’t coming back.”
She refused to cry.
She met Michael’s gaze. “You crossed that line today, Michael.”
There was no reason to sugarcoat his actions, and she needed to make him understand the intensity of her feelings so he wouldn’t ever feel he had the right to do this again.
“I’m so sorry, Karen.”
He rested his forehead on her knee, but otherwise didn’t touch her.
“If you want to be my friend when this is all over, you’ll listen and agree to what I’m going to say.”
He looked up and waited.
“From today on you will not kiss me. Not touch me in any intimate way. As far as the world is concerned our irreconcilable differences began today.”
He swallowed with a nod. “I can live with that.”
She sipped her wine, set the glass to the side.
Outside she noticed the lights of cars pulling into the drive. The last thing she wanted tonight was to deal with any of the Gardner clan.
She stood and started toward the stairs. When Michael followed, she shot him a look.
“Not sure where you’re going, buddy. That couch looks mighty comfortable.”
That stopped him in his tracks.
Zach walked to the park before jumping into his truck and driving home. He was twisted in so many knots he didn’t know which way was up.
Loyalty to his brother hung over him like a suffocating blanket, and his attraction to Karen threatened to undo him every time they were in the same room. Not that he needed her to confirm what he’d already felt coming from her, but now that Karen had brought to words her desires, Zach wouldn’t be able to pretend their chemistry wasn’t there.
He was seriously screwed.
What had Karen meant when she said that Mike wouldn’t have the opportunity to hurt her again? There had been one warning bell after the other going off in Zach’s head since his trip to California. It was as if he was looking at one of those pictures within a picture and not seeing the intended image. If only he could sweep away all the garbage and peer inside Karen, he could determine what was going on.
Two blocks from his single-story two-bedroom home, he noticed Tracey’s car parked outside his driveway.
Once again, with his attention focused on Karen, he’d forgotten all about Tracey. What a bastard he turned out to be. His temples started to throb when he realized it was time to end things with her. She deserved someone’s full attention, not his half-assed consideration.
Tracey sat on one of the deck chairs on his front porch.
“Hey?” he greeted her as he walked up his drive.
She said nothing, and gave a sad smile.
“I didn’t see you at the park.”
She looked beyond him and blinked a few times. “I was there. I saw you.”
“Why didn’t you…”
“Someone else had your complete attention, Zach.”
He wanted to play dumb but didn’t want to insult Tracey’s intelligence. “There was some family drama to deal with.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “You haven’t been the same since you went to California.”
Zach leaned against the pillar supporting the overhang on the porch and studied his shoes. “I’ve considered uprooting my life,” he told her. “Maybe moving out of Hilton.”
She paused then asked, “Does this have anything to do with her?”
He froze, not willing to admit to anyone his thoughts about Karen.
“I don’t know what game you’re playing, Zach. Or why you’ve picked your brother’s wife to play it with, but I do know you’re playing with fire.”
She was right, but he felt like a man stuck in quicksand who desperately reached for a faraway branch even though he knew his movements were going to hasten his death. The draw to Karen was that powerful. It defied reason and threatened everything he’d ever believed in.
“I’m not playing a game.” No. It was more like someone was playing a game with him. “I do know that I’ve not been fair to you.”
Tracey’s eyes met his and waited. She wasn’t going to make this easy on him, and why should she?
“I don’t think it’s been working with us for a while. I thought with time my feelings would deepen, but they haven’t.” That was the honest truth. With or without the presence of Karen, he and Tracey weren’t meant to be.
“So that’s it?”
Please don’t make this ugly.
“What do you want me to say?”
“Nearly a year of my life and you don’t have feelings for me?” Her tone grew short.
“I care for you, Tracey. Just not on the level I think I should.”
“Great.” She pushed off the chair and stood in front of him.
He glanced into her hurt eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Her jaw tightened. “I’d like to say something kind, like have a nice life, or it was fun while it lasted…but I don’t really have it in me.”
She marched across his yard, jumped in her car, and slammed the door before driving away.
He rubbed the tension from his forehead and opened his eyes to find his neighbor across the street staring at him.
Zach acknowledged him with a wave and ducked into his house for some much-needed peace and quiet.
Chapter Thirteen
Michael had seriously fucked up and deserved any possible rage Karen bestowed upon him. He didn’t think it was possible to act with such complete and utter neglect of another person’s feelings, but that was exactly what had happened.
Michael punched his pillow a few times, turned it over, and tried to get comfortable on the worn-out sofa his parents had purchased sometime in the 1980s.
When Karen had approached him in the park, he’d been on a reunion high with his old friends. Seeing the only lover he’d taken in Hilton in the mix added just the right amount of nostalgia to help him lower his guard. He never worried that Ryder would open his mouth about their sexuality. To do so would be to put a target on his back as well, and since he now taught at the high school, Michael knew there wasn’t a threat of his secret leakin
g.
Michael had felt like he was eighteen again. No stress of the studios breathing down his neck, no one telling him how he was supposed to act and when, and then Karen enlightened him on Aunt Belle’s observation.
He’d seen red. After all the trouble he’d gone through to keep his secret he wasn’t about to let the ramblings of his crazy aunt blow it. When he noticed several sets of eyes on him, he pulled Karen into his arms and kissed her. Fuck if he’d be found out by his own family. Fear of being found out and anger over his inability to control other people’s thoughts fueled his actions. When Karen pinched him and thrust herself from his arms something inside him died.
He knew he’d hurt her. Saw the raw pain in her eyes before she ran away.
He wanted to run after her but knew in doing so he’d just draw more attention to them. What could he say to her to make it OK? Nothing. He knew he’d crossed a line.
Michael replayed the scene in his head, tried to fix the outcome so that he didn’t come out to be such an ass. It didn’t work.
He was an ass.
Giving up on sleep, he sat up and rested his head in his hands.
Heavy footfalls walked down the old stairs in his childhood home. He didn’t need to turn to know who it was.
His father released a dramatic sigh as he stepped around the couch to take up space in what had always been his chair. After clicking the light to his side one time, the room took on a slight glow.
Michael wasn’t sure if there was a lecture in store, or painful silence. Perhaps both.
“I’ve tried getting your mother to replace that couch for twenty years,” Sawyer said as he placed both his hands over his overweight abdomen. He wasn’t obese by any means, but he’d always carried a good twenty extra pounds. When Michael was a kid, the weight intimidated him. Now it just looked unhealthy. “You know what she says to me when I suggest we go shopping?”
Michael shook his head.
“Says the couch is fine for sitting. Leaves a lot to be desired for sleeping, and I should work hard to avoid making her angry so I’m not forced to use it as a bed.”
Michael felt a smile on his lips despite the fact he didn’t deserve to grin. “Mom’s a smart woman.”
They sat in silence for a while, then Sawyer started talking. “When you, Zach, and Rena were still either in diapers or just in school, I spent more nights on that couch than I care to admit. Maybe it was the stress of taking care of little ones, or maybe I worked too much away from home, but I couldn’t go a month without visiting that spring in the middle.”
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