by D. M. Turner
She still gave no indication she understood, though amber eyes followed his every move.
Ian frowned. He might have to explain the danger to the rest of the pack. If any of them came upon her in this state, they could get seriously injured, or worse. He had hoped to be able to keep Sophia’s secrets to the few who knew them. That might not be possible.
Anxiety tore through every muscle. He certainly wouldn’t like it if someone revealed his secrets to others. They were his to share, no one else’s. She wasn’t bound to respond favorably to him sharing hers. What else could he do? He had to keep the pack safe, first and foremost. Worst case scenario, she’d be so horrified at the others knowing about her weakness that she’d leave.
His wolf snarled.
Ian scooped the she-wolf into his arms and carried her to the living room to lay her on the thick rug in front of the fireplace. Then he lay beside her, his face near hers, his hand on her head and neck, so she’d know he was close even with her eyes closed. Keep her calm. Panic won’t help matters.
Of course, that meant he needed to quiet his own agitation. She’d smell his fear. Lord, give us wisdom. Help me be calm, for her if for no other reason.
Warmth and peace swept through him.
He took a deep breath and smiled. Thank you, Lord.
Tension bled off of her as his fear subsided. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and drifted to sleep.
Ian closed his eyes to rest with her.
* * *
At some point, Sophia was vaguely, distantly aware of Ian holding her upright and pouring broth into her mouth, bit by bit, careful not to choke her. If she got too close, the pain intensified, so she let the wolf shield her.
Awareness came and went, darkness giving relief from pain and fear. Always, Ian was close. He wouldn’t let anyone hurt her.
* * *
A hand on his shoulder pulled Ian awake. He rolled into a sit, keeping himself between Sophia and his friend. Brett wouldn’t hurt her, but he couldn’t be sure her wolf would extend the same courtesy to the pack enforcer if she had regained mobility while they slept.
“The kill is out back.”
“What’d you bring?”
“A bull elk. Big boy, too.” Brett grinned, pride flashing in his eyes. “Nobody got hurt but the prey.”
“Well done.” Ian smiled and glanced at Sophia.
Amber eyes watched Brett with only mild suspicion. She made no aggressive moves.
“Alright, Sophia. Time to eat.” He got to his feet, watching to see if she would follow suit.
Her head moved fruitlessly on the rug, but her legs didn’t budge.
Ian frowned. She’s getting worse instead of better. He knelt to pick her up.
“What’s going on? She was doing great until this morning. Wasn’t she?” Brett followed him out the back door. “She shouldn’t have gone downhill so fast after only one day without food.”
“I wish I understood it. If Jeremy was here, he might be able to give us a better idea of what she’s going through.”
“Hopefully he and Annie will get away from the clinic earlier than planned.”
Would be nice, but he wasn’t counting on it or waiting. Jeremy had said to get food into her. That’s exactly what Ian intended to do. As he laid her gently on the ground near the elk carcass, her nose twitched, and her eyes brightened with interest. She extended her nose toward it but made no apparent effort to rise.
Next hurdle. How to feed her when she couldn’t even hold her head up.
“Keep an eye on her for a minute.” Ian jogged to the house, leaving Brett with Sophia.
He remained inside only as long as it took to strip and Shift then trotted back outside.
Brett knelt close to Sophia, his head down and eyes focused on the ground.
She was quiet, and her gaze on him lacked hostility.
He glanced sideways at Ian. “She’s really touchy right now.”
Ian stared at him. Did Brett really not understand why Sophia would be on edge?
His friend nodded. “I’m sure I’d feel the same way if I was incapacitated in the presence of wolves I wasn’t sure about.”
True enough. Most of them would.
Ian brushed past Brett, pausing a moment to stick his cold, wet nose in his friend’s ear.
“Ew.” The man grimaced and ducked his head.
Laughing canine-style, Ian went to the carcass and began ripping it into bite-size chunks that could be swallowed with little effort, starting with outer flesh and working his way to the liver. He fed it, piece-by-piece, to Sophia until she turned her nose away.
She closed her eyes.
That’s it. Rest. Let the food heal your body. He nuzzled her and stretched out against her back, curving his neck around her to lay his head next to hers.
* * *
Aware of odd movement in Sophia’s body against his, Ian raised his head and studied her. Her breath came in irregular, short bursts. That was new. He climbed to all four feet and nuzzled her nose. What was wrong? Was she having another seizure of some kind? Trouble with her lungs?
Brett launched out of one of the Adirondack chairs and crossed the distance to kneel beside her, a heavy frown furrowing his brow.
The wolf shuddered and went still.
Ian nuzzled her head and grunted. Nothing. He glanced at his friend, who leaned over and laid a hand on her chest. Then his gaze rose to Ian. The grief-stricken helplessness in his eyes caused Ian to catch his breath.
“There’s no heartbeat, and she’s not breathing. She’s dead, Ian.”
No, she can’t be. Ian pawed her neck. Come on, Sophia. You came back to life before. You can do it again. Come on….
An eternity (that actually lasted no more than a few seconds) later, Sophia gasped and began breathing again.
Brett’s eyes widened, and he looked at Ian. “Is that what happened the day she came?”
Ian dipped his chin once in a brief nod.
“That’s just plain freaky.”
After a few moments, amber eyes opened and peered up at Brett. There was no obvious suspicion or distrust in them. She made no sound to indicate alarm, fear, or annoyance. Her scent remained clear of any strong emotions.
Ian grunted softly.
She shifted her head on the ground to look at him. Intelligence shone bright and clear in her eyes. Sophia was in charge.
He nuzzled her head. She responded by rolling into a Sphinx position and nosing him back.
“How’s our patient?” Jeremy’s voice drew all three gazes, one human, two wolf. He lowered his gaze to the deck as he came toward them then hopped to the ground a few feet away.
“Better, I think.” Brett got to his feet and stepped back to make room for the doctor. “She spooked us a bit ago. Did that dying thing again.”
Sophia glanced at him, cocked her head, and then looked at Ian again. He nodded.
Jeremy knelt beside her and grabbed the stethoscope still draped around his neck. “May I listen?”
The she-wolf sat up and waited patiently while he listened to her heart. He nodded and dropped the instrument around his neck again then pulled a pen light from a breast pocket, clicked it on, and shined it in one eye and then the other.
She growled softly and snapped her teeth halfheartedly without any intent to harm.
“Sorry. I should’ve warned you I intended to do that.” He glanced over his shoulder at Brett. “What all happened this time?”
“I asked Donna, since I left with the others on a hunt right after I hung up talking to you. Sophia went into the Shift uncontrolled again, from the looks of it. Once in wolf form, she’d lost control of her limbs. They moved but were uncoordinated. Ian moved her to the living room and rested with her until we got back with the elk. By then, he’d had time to get broth in her. When she woke up, she couldn’t move her legs at all. Ian carried her out here, Shifted, and fed her. She went to sleep and rested for a while. Then she started gasping like she couldn’t br
eath. Moments after that, she stopped breathing altogether, and her heart stopped.”
“How long did that last?”
“About twenty, maybe thirty, seconds.” Brett frowned. “Any thoughts what might’ve happened this time?”
“If I had to guess, based on the symptoms you shared, I’d say her nervous system rebooted.”
His scowl deepened. “Rebooted? She’s not a computer.”
“The brain is the most technologically advanced computer ever. Man can’t even come close to matching God’s design.” Jeremy shrugged. “It sounds to me like her nervous system hit reset.”
“Thank the Lord it restarted, if that’s the case. Could something like that happen again?”
“I hope not, but until she’s fully recovered, it’s possible.”
“How will we know she’s fully recovered?”
“Her weight will return to normal. That’s our best indicator.” He laid a gentle hand on Sophia’s shoulder. “Until all the internal damage is healed, muscle re-development will be stilted.” A faint smile curved his lips. “One thing about us werewolves. Our bodies know how to focus healing energy where it’s most needed to preserve life.”
Like many of them, Jeremy had adapted to life as a wolf but never fully embraced it, especially not the way his mate or Tommy had. Annie and the boy could be an example to all of them. They’d actually made peace with the wolf. Ian still hadn’t managed that in over a hundred and fifty years.
Sophia stood and nosed the doctor’s cheek.
Jeremy chuckled. “You’re welcome, but I didn’t really do much this time.”
She turned and moved up beside Ian, nuzzling the side of his neck and leaning against him in a way that was both comforting and enticing. Did she have any idea how appealing that behavior was?
“Any idea why she lost control of the wolf again?”
“Not really. You’ll have to ask her. Maybe she has some thoughts on the matter.”
“We need to figure that out. She went after Donna this time.”
Sophia stiffened, raised her head, and stared at Brett. Then her head lowered until her nose almost touched the ground, and her tail tucked between her hocks. A soft whimper rose from her throat.
Brett shook his head. “No. You didn’t hurt her.”
Muscles released tension, and her head and tail returned to normal position. Then her head pivoted, and she studied the carcass. Her nose twitched and, much to Ian’s satisfaction, she proceeded to rip into it with new energy.
“We should keep an eye on her the next couple of days. Make sure she gets plenty to eat. All she wants preferably. And lots of rest.” Jeremy frowned. “I realize that’s asking a lot, considering what the pack faces, but we’ll all be here anyway, so we can keep an eye on her.”
Sophia glanced over her shoulder at him and snarled.
Brett chuckled. “I don’t think she much likes the idea of the whole pack playing babysitter.”
She snorted and went back to eating.
Ian shared amused looks with both men.
Chapter 25
After she’d filled her stomach, Sophia slipped quietly through the house to the guestroom, leaving Brett lounging in an Adirondack chair and Ian sitting on the deck near him. They’d watched her go, but neither followed. In her room, she Returned to human form. As she showered and dressed, Brett’s description of events replayed in her mind.
She’d actually tried to bite Donna. Dismissing the accusation was impossible since she’d been aware of what the wolf was doing, albeit distantly, and paid little attention to it. Like half-watching a movie from outside a drive-in theater.
Seated on the edge of the bed, Sophia stared at the shoes lying on the floor. One thing the day had made apparent—she was a threat to the pack. As long as those blackouts occurred, she could hurt or kill someone, especially since most of them had no idea what she was capable of. If they underestimated her or dismissed the danger she posed….
Tears filled her eyes.
A sharp tap-tap-tap on the door startled her.
She blinked back tears and reached for one of the shoes. “Come in.”
Ian pushed the door open enough to stick his head and one shoulder into the room, leaning against the doorframe. A broad half-smile brightened his face. “I wanted to see how you’re feeling.”
“Fine.” Sophia shrugged and focused on tying her shoe. “I shouldn’t need to eat again until tomorrow with how much I just ate, but hopefully I won’t collapse or do anything weird again.” Pull on the second shoe. Tie laces. Don’t look at him. “I’m sorry about this morning. I should’ve remembered to eat yesterday.”
“I should’ve reminded you.”
Her hackles rose. “I’m not your responsibility.”
Silence.
After several heartbeats, she straightened and glanced toward the door. He wouldn’t have left. She knew that with absolute certainty.
Ian watched her through narrow eyes. Then he fully entered the room, closed the door, turned, and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re trying to pick a fight. Why?”
“I’m not picking a fight. I’m merely stating a fact. I’m not your responsibility.”
“As my mate, your well-being falls on my shoulders as much as it does yours.”
Courage, girl. You have to do what’s right for all of them. Sophia stood and met his gaze. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“What?”
“Me being your mate.”
He scowled. “Why not?”
“Look at what happened today, Ian.”
“I have. What does it have to do with you marrying me?”
“I could’ve hurt Donna”—she shook her head—“and I wasn’t in control of it. Your pack doesn’t need an unstable wolf in their midst, particularly at the top. I’d never forgive myself if I hurt one of them.”
“Donna was never in any danger.”
“Because I was incapacitated.”
“No, because I was there to protect both of you, just like when you went after Brett.” Ian lowered his hands to his sides and closed the distance between them. “As alpha, that’s my job. To protect all the members of my pack.”
“You shouldn’t have to protect them from your own mate.” She turned away. “I should go as soon as Brimfield is done.”
“Go where?”
“I don’t know. I’ll figure something out.”
“When you get wherever you’re going, what if you lose control of the wolf again? What if you kill again? Out there, on your own, it could be innocent humans you go after.”
Sophia winced. He just had to say that, didn’t he? She faced him and raised both hands out to her sides. “What do you expect me to do? Stay here and possibly hurt or kill one of your pack? They have no idea of the threat I could be. For all they know, they’ll see me in wolf form, assume it’s me, and pay with their lives. I can’t allow that! I won’t!”
“Neither will I.” Ian gently gripped her shoulders, his gaze incredibly soft and compassionate. “I will protect them and you. Unfortunately, the best way to start is to tell the truth about your wolf. If they know to be cautious in approaching you at first, that will go a long way to keeping them safe.”
“For how long? How long can they walk on eggshells before someone gets complacent and I hurt them?”
“As long as it takes us to figure out how to prevent these fugue states or whatever they are.” A half-grin curved his mouth, and mischief lit his eyes. “If nothing else, I can find a really good psychologist and Turn him, so you’ll have a professional to talk to about it all.”
“That’s not even close to funny.” Though he was only kidding, the idea made her shudder.
“Just a thought.” He shrugged and glanced at the analog clock on the nightstand. “Anyway, there’s still time for us to go into Flagstaff today and get married. I’m not sure if they’re open from noon to one, but if necessary, we can hang around and wait for the office to re-open.”
<
br /> “You still want to marry me? After all this?”
“Of course. What better place is there for you than here? We can help you. All of us. That’s what the pack does. Help each other. Brett showed me that, but Tanya really drove it home. We need each other. You, me, the pack.” He cocked his head. “I’ve done the lone wolf thing. Believe me, it wears thin after a decade or two.”
“It wears thin after a year or two,” Sophia murmured. She truly had no idea where else to go. “Alright.”
He smiled.
“But”—she held up a finger in front of his face—“first, we have to talk to the whole pack. If they still want me to stay, I’ll stay. If any of them, even one, wants me to leave, then I’m going.”
Ian frowned then nodded. “Fair enough.” He turned and headed for the door. “Come on. Let’s talk to them right now.”
“What about whoever’s on guard duty?”
He sent her a sideways look, half-smiled, and threw back his head and howled. An eerie, odd sound coming from a human throat. After a moment, howls answered from both inside and outside the house. The smile grew into a grin. “There. They’re coming.”
Sophia grimaced. “You know, you could’ve stepped outside to do that. Doing it in a confined space is deafening.”
“You’ll survive, I’m sure.” With a chuckle, Ian gripped her hand and pulled her behind him down the hallway.
What if the pack didn’t want her once they knew the truth? Where would she go? Where could she go that other people would be safe?
* * *
Afraid Sophia would change her mind if he gave her time to think about what they were about to do, Ian led her to the living room, where the pack would gather for the meeting he’d summoned them to.
Most of the pack had already arrived and settled in. Kelly remained absent. If she chose to stay with her sister, Brett could fill her in. The only other two missing were Carlos and Peter, who trotted through the back door in wolf form. They sat beside Brett’s chair, canine gazes on Ian.
