“Aubrey, what the hell!” I hissed.
She giggled and then snorted, and then she giggled more. “I’m so sorry, Savannah, but I need some condoms.”
“No way. You always have condoms.”
“I only had three left, and…” She snorted and held her hand over her mouth. “We had some problems with his piercings.”
Eww. Gross. “Are you kidding me? He has piercings and he doesn’t know how to handle the condom with them?”
“He knows. He’s too drunk to do it right.”
Luke reached in the couch and pulled out two packets. “Here. This is all you get.”
She gave him a clumsy salute and rushed back to her room.
“Dammit,” Luke groaned. “Let’s just go out to my Expedition.”
“We can’t,” I said with a deflated sigh. “We have to look out for your sister.”
“I wanted to savor every inch of you tonight.”
“That would have been nice,” I agreed.
“Hey, Savannah? How do you feel about fast and hard?”
I kissed him on the lips. “I’m good with fast and hard. I’m really, really good with it.”
He ran his hand up and down my spine. “I’m going to bend you over the couch, and I’m going to fuck your brains out.” He stood and pulled me up off the couch. “Will that work for you?”
Instead of answering, I moved to the arm of the couch farthest from my bedroom, and crooked my finger.
In two seconds, he was behind me, rolling on a condom and bending me over. He entered me in a swift motion and reached for my breast with one hand and steadied my hip with the other. He thrust into me, lightly tweaking my nipple and I had to stuff the corner of the blanket into my mouth to keep from crying out in pleasure.
When he reached down where we were joined and pressed on the sensitive nub, I bucked against him and spiraled over the cliff into ecstasy.
“Thank God,” he said and tightened his hold.
Three more strokes, and he followed me into the abyss. He lay on my back, his hands on my breasts until he recovered enough to move. Then he stood, lifted me into his arms, and kissed me.
“You can lift me?” I thought for a minute. “Can you hold me up against the wall and fuck me next time?”
“I can do anything you want me to do.”
The idea of him holding me, his glorious arms bulging, as he pleasured me… I shivered just thinking about it. “Now?”
“Hell no, Babe. Not now.” He set me on the couch and climbed on beside me, finding the blanket to give us some semblance of decency. “Where’s the nearest trash can?”
“Oh. I guess the kitchen.”
He jumped up and sprinted for the kitchen, disposed of the condom, and ran back to join me under the cover.
“Nice ass,” I said. “You’re turning me into a sex addict.”
“Good.” He snuggled up against me. “Now go to sleep.”
“I want more.”
“Mmm.”
“If you don’t give it to me, I’ll just have to go solo.”
“Are you saying you’re going to lay there and pleasure yourself?”
“Yes.”
“Damn girl, I have to work tomorrow. How am I supposed to sleep with you tempting me?”
“I don’t know,” I said, cupping my breast in my hand. I knew I should let him sleep, but he did terrible things to my sex drive. I flipped over and put my leg over his. Then I moved ever so slightly against him.
“Please?” he said.
I should have let him sleep. I almost felt guilty as I guided his hand between my legs.
By the time he reached his release, I was floating on the clouds of true post-orgasmic bliss. The man had talent.
“I need to get to the kitchen,” Luke said after a few minutes.
“I can’t move.”
He kissed my forehead as he crawled over me. When he returned, I was a bit more coherent. I moved so he could slide in behind me. I snuggled up against him and he put his arm over me and pulled me closer.
I reached for his biceps and ran my hand over his muscles. “When did you get your tattoo? And why don’t you have more?”
He pretended to snore as if he were already asleep.
“If you answer the questions, I swear I’ll let you sleep.”
His body shook as he laughed. “You don’t have a choice. You’d probably pass out if you had another orgasm.”
“Maybe.” I wiggled my butt against him. “But I could try.”
With a groan, he moved his hand up to cup my breast. “Fine. I don’t have more because I don’t have money to burn on ink.”
Made sense. “But you must have decided this one was worth it.”
“It’s a symbol. I got this when I realized that Nat had to come first. When I decided I couldn’t run from my mother and her drama. I sold my games for cash. Then I went to get a tattoo. I wanted to have control over something… anything. I was sitting there looking over the designs, and I saw one that made me think of Nat. It was a squiggly tribal pattern. I got that one and had them intertwine it with the warrior design.”
“You’re the warrior protecting your little sister.” I already knew as much. I just hadn’t known it was what the tattoo meant.
“Yes,” he said, resting his hand on my stomach. “Can we sleep now?”
“You really are a great guy.”
“Does that mean we can sleep?”
I smacked his arm. “Goodnight.”
When his alarm went off, we sneaked into the room where Nat slept and took a shower. There was no funny business because neither of us had gotten any rest.
“I’d kiss you,” he said, “but I don’t have enough energy to move my lips.”
“Coffee,” I said.
After the shower, we woke Nat, gobbled down some cereal. I waved as they drove away. Then I put my car keys back in my purse, went back to my room, and crawled into bed. I missed two classes, and I didn’t regret one minute of it.
I worked eleven to five at the theater and six to midnight at the call center. I chugged two cans of Coke on my break so I’d have the energy to stay awake and drive home. The drive home was a struggle. I blasted the AC for an uncomfortable chill until I pulled into my driveway.
Luke had texted me a couple of times when I was at the theater. I hadn’t been able to check anything at my second job, so I pulled out my phone after crashing on my bed. He’d texted me that everything was status quo at his house, that he was tired, and that he couldn’t get me out of his head. I smiled and texted that I would dream of him. Then I set my alarm and slept like a baby.
When my alarm battered me out of bed on Wednesday, I dragged myself out of bed and showered. Halfway through shampooing my hair, it hit me. What I had texted Luke had been super-cheesy and overly intimate. This was supposed to be a one-night freaking stand. What was I doing!
As soon as I rinsed my hair, I rushed out to my room to see if he had replied. Of course not. Whispering sweet nothings during the dirty deed was one thing, but fully sober texts were different. I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea. I wasn’t up for a relationship, but if I was honest with myself, I also didn’t want to do anything that would make him reject me before I was ready for this to end. I liked it that he wanted me. My body thrived on it.
After drying my hair halfway, I shoved it into a ponytail, got dressed, and dashed off to class. I was doing a one to nine shift after class. I hated that call center. I needed to make time to look for something else. I didn’t mind running a cash register somewhere as long as they would work around my other schedule.
By nine, I was seriously considering quitting the call center even without another second job. My ear hurt from the stupid earphones, and I couldn’t stand only checking my cell on my breaks. The company was trying to treat us like computers, instead of people. The atmosphere was stark, florescent lighting, no personality allowed.
I locked my assigned earphones in my assigned locker and wal
ked out. Two of my coworkers were also walking to their cars, but I had never spoken to them and didn’t bother to change it. Impersonal, lonely, crappy job.
Was it any wonder I climbed in my car, locked the door, and checked my cell? Two texts from Sophie. I had a lot to tell her. Then I saw the text from Madison.
Chapter Eight
Luke
I woke this morning to find Nat sleeping on my couch. I’d crashed hard and hadn’t heard anything all night.
Something had happened, or Nat wouldn’t have come in the garage.
“Nat,” I said, gently shaking her shoulder. “Nat, honey, what happened?”
She moaned. “I didn’t get any sleep. I’m never going to make it through the day.”
“What happened?”
“I’m not sure. I just know they were loud. Mom brought home a bunch of people. It sounded like at least three. Maybe five. And I didn’t hear any women.”
My stomach clenched. “She brought home a bunch of men?”
“Yes,” Nat said, rolling over on the couch to face the back cushions. “I need like thirty minutes. Please.”
I patted her on the shoulder.
Then I got ready to deal with the mess. I needed jeans, boots, and a stiff drink, but the latter would keep me from driving. I had to drive Nat to school and get to work. I didn’t have the option to be irresponsible.
I grabbed my keys and went into the house, locking the bolt lock behind me to keep Nat safe. I didn’t know how many of the men were roaming my house. My mother had a tendency to engage in seriously reckless behavior during her manic phases. The vomit odor grew more rancid as I went down the hall.
In the living room, I found a man and a woman passed out on the couch. They were butt naked and far from attractive. The woman’s tramp stamp was stretched and blurred by weight gain. Before I could glance away, I registered the cellulite and stretchmarks. Empty beer cans and a bong littered the coffee table. Another man, husky with an out-of-control grizzly beard, was asleep in the armchair, his pants unzipped, and his mangy dick hanging out. I didn’t want to think about who had likely been kneeling on the floor in front of him.
No amount of bracing myself would help with what I could face in my mother’s room. I walked through the door and turned toward her bed. Not one, but two men were with her. The nausea came on swift and strong. One was awake, and was trying to wake her, obviously not to see if she was okay, but to get more of what she’d been throwing around earlier. My mother was face down on the bed. She was mostly covered by the man, and her mouth lay in a small puddle of vomit. The man who was awake, beefy and covered with gray hair down his back, saw me and froze.
“Get out of my house. Get your friends and leave. You have five minutes before I call the police.”
He glanced nervously behind me.
I turned to see a video camera on a tripod. Raw anger rushed through me and I grabbed the tripod and bashed the camera into the floor where it shattered into pieces as I took out all my rage on the violent destruction of the recording device.
The men were both up and cowering on the other side of the bed when I dropped the bent tripod and looked up.
Unable to deal with it any longer, I left the room and went back to the garage. I sat on the bed, head in my hands, as pain and nausea ravaged my body from my chest to my intestines. Deal with it, Luke. I told myself. No time to think. Just deal with it. As always, I was terrified that I would succumb to the grief and despondency before I got Mom’s mess taken care of. I had to stay strong for Nat. I had to fix this for her.
I waited for the sound of cars starting in the driveway, and it didn’t take long. That trash was probably used to being thrown out. I had seen my mother naked and passed out in the front yard. I had walked in on her riding one man while blowing another. I had seen her passed out with a track-marked loser OD’ing next to her. Today though was the worst. I’d seen things I refused to think about. Things I couldn’t allow to take root in my mind. She’d hit rock bottom again, and it was ugly.
There was no way I could get her cleaned up. I’d have to wait for her to wake, sober up, and take a shower on her own. It would be a long wait, but I couldn’t cart her in to the ER like this. I went over to the table, picked up my cell, and called my boss. I would lose the much-needed money I should have earned today. Bill knew better than to ask why. He knew from my voice.
I’d let Nat rest. When Mom woke, I’d get her to the hospital. For the fifth time in my life, I was about to have my mother committed against her will.
My mother had fought me. She’d argued and screamed at me and told me she hated me. She’d shouted that she wished I were dead, and Nat too. It wasn’t the first time. I had gotten lucky with the shower. Mom had woken and gone straight to the shower. She’d gotten dressed, and I’d asked her to go to lunch with me.
Once I had her in the car, I tried to distract her. It wasn’t hard since she had moved on to full blown paranoia and was ranting about the people who were watching her. I had to carry her into the ER though. People watched us in horror. The nurse knew what to do though. We’d been here before, and I doubted my mother’s psychotic episodes were the only ones they dealt with.
While they found room for her on the psych ward, I arranged for Nat to stay two nights with a friend. I couldn’t have Nat seeing what this did to me. She needed me. She relied on me, and she needed to believe that I was strong enough.
At five o’clock, my mother was sedated and sleeping. Nat was at her friend, Hannah’s, and I was finally leaving the hospital.
Twenty minutes later, I found myself at Savannah’s house. I pulled into the parking area and cut the engine. I meant to text her so she’d know I was here. I couldn’t remember how late she worked, but it didn’t matter. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I reclined my seat and fell into a fitful sleep with nightmares that even while sleeping, I knew were real.
I woke to see Madison tapping on the window. She was asking me if I was okay. I nodded, and then closed my eyes again. She tapped again. She was frowning down at me.
“Come inside. You can sleep on the couch or in Savannah’s room.”
I moved slowly. My neck hurt. I should go inside.
She took my movements as assent, and she opened the door. “Is Natalie okay?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Savannah doesn’t know I’m here. I probably should wait in my truck.”
“Come inside,” she said, concern evident on her face. “I’ll tell her. I don’t think she’ll be home anytime soon.”
I slid out and stretched. Madison reached in for my keys, locked the door, and led me inside.
“Crash wherever,” Madison said as we went in the living room. “You look like you’re going to keel over any minute.”
I knew I should sleep on the couch. But her bed would smell like her, and I needed any semblance of comfort I could find. “Thanks.”
I went into her room, uninvited, intruding in her life, and crawled into her bed.
“Luke,” a sweet voice called.
Savannah.
I wanted to wake up, but I couldn’t manage it. My eyes wouldn’t open.
I heard the thunk of one shoe, and then another. Then the bed shifted as she climbed in beside me.
“Luke,” she whispered, kissing me on the forehead. Then she lay behind me, spooning me, her arm draped over me, holding me tight.
I slept for hours. When I finally woke, I rolled over to find Savannah lying on the bed beside me. She was studying on her laptop.
“Hey,” she said, closing it and setting it on her nightstand. She laid her head on the pillow next to me, her face studying mine. “Bad day?”
I frowned at her, unable to speak.
“You got your mother in the hospital?”
I nodded.
“And it was bad.” She sighed. “Nat’s at a friend’s?”
I didn’t answer, couldn’t.
“I bet you haven’t eaten anything. Are you hungry? Thirsty?”
> He cleared his throat. “I should probably drink something,” I admitted, my voice strained from the stress.
“I can fix you a sandwich.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think I could keep it down.”
“Maybe some toast then, or some crackers.” She kissed the top of my head and scrambled off to get me some sustenance.
I dragged myself out of bed and peeked into the living room. It was empty, so I sat on the couch.
Savannah came back in with a sleeve of saltines and a bottle of water. She sat next to me, put an arm on my shoulder, and pressed up against me. She even twisted the top off before handing me the water. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly as I took a few tentative sips of the water.
“No.”
She pushed my hair back off my face. “I’ll be here if you feel like it later.”
I nodded, set the bottle between my legs, and ran my hands over the cold plastic.
“What can I do?” she asked, resting her head on my shoulder.
“Not a damn thing,” I said. “I feel better just being here with you. Is it okay if I stay tonight?”
She pressed her hand against my heart. “I wouldn’t let you leave if you tried.”
I put my arm around her, and we sat for a long time. Neither of us spoke, and somehow I found comfort in her hands stroking my hair.
“Are you going to work today?” she asked after she shut off that horrible alarm the next morning. I’d never slept all night with a woman and not had sex with her. Not until now.
“My boss is counting on me.”
“How do you feel?”
“Numb,” I said.
“You need to eat something. Those crackers weren’t enough.”
My stomach had started complaining about an hour ago about being empty. “I will.”
“Is Nat coming home tonight?”
“No.” I winced at the thought of the task ahead of me. “I have some cleaning up to do before she comes home.”
“Come over after work.”
“I’ll probably cut out a little early. Around five or six. You don’t work tonight?”
She hesitated for a second before saying, “No. I get off at the theater at six. Come over here and shower. We’ll eat, and then I’ll go help you clean up.”
Too Fast Page 8
